


Withered

by RU_jap



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Family, Friendship, Genderbending, Heavy Angst, Melodrama, Romance, Trauma, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 98,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29289930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RU_jap/pseuds/RU_jap
Summary: Withered @ Broken FlowerChaeyoung and Mina are childhood friends, had been together for how long they could remember, being with each other through thick and thin, support each other, love each other... Until.One day, One mistake, One incident.Changes everything[Michaeng Fanfiction]All rights reserved to the original writer and can be found on Asianfanfic and Wattpad known as JunKudo, all contents are owned by him
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung, Myoui Mina/Yoo Jeongyeon
Kudos: 9





	1. Cherry and Bean

**Author's Note:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Why are you crying?"

I stop myself from weeping and wipe my tears after hearing a low voice. I look up and see a smiling boy in front of me. At first glance, he's better to be a walking cub or the son of the bean as he's very tin. Wearing an orange jacket with blue shorts and a beanie cap. He looks like a kindergarten with his backpack, definitely younger than me. He then climbs over the bench and sits beside me in the park.

He stares at me, maybe waiting for me to speak up. But I'm hesitant because I don't know him, so I look away instead. Besides, it's embarrassing. He just watches me crying like a lost puppy, with my little snot and puffy eyes. I sob and look down to my feet, hanging down from the bench. I smile as I catch a glimpse of my kawaii animal fleece shoes and the penguin pops up to me. But, it's a bad decision when I remember that I begged mom to buys it for me last week. My mouth twitch as my mom's image appears in my mind. My lips pursed unconsciously as I blink back tears. Mom, Unnies, Dad...where are they? Why they don't search for me? I'm afraid. I want to go home.

I cannot see clearly as tears blinded me. Everything becomes blurry. I'm still hoping that mom will find me soon. I do what I was told, if ever I found myself separated from my family, I must stay where I was and don't follow strangers then they will come to me. I did it, but why they are not showing up. It's been hours. They are not throwing me away, are they? If that happens, wha----

"Here, I have chocolate. Do you want some?"

I forgot that this boy is still here. Why isn't he leaving? Soon, I feel a tap on my forearms. He does get on my nerves. I throw him a look, feeling my nose flared due to his annoyingly uninvited presence. I'm greeted by big almond eyes and a brown iris staring deeply back at me. My heart jumps a little. To be fair, I'm startled. It's as if, he's been observing me for some time, or as if I am something very interesting to look at. I blink, feeling myself relaxing when his eyes wink caused by the huge grin he gives me. He pushes the chocolate bar closer to me.

I wanted to decline but it's chocolate! Chocolate is lifeu. How can I refuse it? I know someone who's certainly will be delighted if some stranger just offered her candy, and without hesitancy devouring it all. I'm describing one of my beloved sisters, that food maniac becomes uncontrollable and ignorant if the topic is all about foods.

And I'm the opposite of her, I tend to wonder why and suspiciously thought the explanation. I'm that kind of kid who thinks more before acting and to my sisters, they thought that my personality is the reason I'm always left behind as I'll take time to ponder and thinks rather than acting as how my body and heart had instructed. See, I wanted to gladly accept the chocolate and thank him, that is my first instinct and impulsive act but instead, I stop myself and think. I mean who would want to give you free candy? More importantly, it's coming from a complete stranger? Unless there's a hidden intention. Intention. I recall my mommy's never-ending advice 'never take anything from a stranger may it be candy or snack. Just refuse it and stay still, if you're feeling dubious of them, then run, as fast as you could'

But mommy didn't actually point out the age range. Should I be dubious towards this boy? Wait, rather than should I, Am I feeling dubious now? I glance at the boy and squint my eyes as I gaze at the chocolate bar. Well, it could be a trap. This boy might be working under some black organization that sells child, and come approaching me with his innocent image to lure me in, who knows? The chocolate could contain poison. I should never trust a stranger despite their age. Yup, that's the right thing to do.

"Are you a bad person?" I ask, confronting the boy. Amazed by my sudden bravery. I examine his expression and he just stares blankly at me, rigid as stone. I suppose he's thinking what he should do now as I just exposed him, I smirk, proud of my own calculation. Or maybe not as his stunned face cracked by a burst of laughter. My brows raise, again, thinking of his unexpected reaction. Did I say something funny?

After a minute, he restrains himself and groans as he clutches his stomach, complaining about how it hurts his belly from laughing so hard. Irritated, I roll my eyes and look away. Why did I even talking to him? I should just ignore him in the first place. I scoff and diverts my focus on my situation, turning my head left and right, looking for my parents. When I see none of the familiar faces, I sigh heavily and back again staring at my feet, waiting for someone to find me.

I feel a nudge on my side. Knowing where it comes from, I close my eyes in annoyance. I'm already anxious and stress about my circumstances and this boy here is adding fuel to the flame. My patience is running out. I'm sure, if he pulls any unexplainable behavior and making fun of me, I'm going to push him down the bench. I have advantages since he's smaller than me, it'll be easy. I swear, I'm not rude or harsh but this boy keeps disturbing me and I won't stay still. I press my lips at the thought and slowly turn my head towards his side, my last pieces of endurance and kindness.

"Yes?" I ask between my gritted teeth.

Rather than answering, he just smiles. Now I'm convinced he's a creep. I want to leave the place, but he taps my shoulder making me face him again, hands-on guards ready to knock him down. To my surprise, he unwraps the chocolate and takes a bite, munching, and swallowing it.

"It's not poisoned," he exclaims, showing me his dimple, that I just notice exist.

It's then soon hit me that, he knows. He knows what I'm thinking back then, that's why he laughs. Gosh, I must look so tense and awkward. Seeing this in a different view, I'm that shy, unsocialized girl who just lost in a park and he's the boy in shining armor who wants to help and gives me candy to console me. And I'm here being overthinking that the food is poisonous. He must have seen through me. Good, I've embarrassed myself twice. Why did I even think there's a black organization or what? Where is it even comes from?

Did I just watch too much Conan? Ah, reminded about Conan-kun, this boy here resembles him a bit only without glasses and stupider. Considering that I have a huge crush towards Conan-kun, and this boy here looking quite similar, it'll be a shame if I treated this boy coldly. Maybe he's not a bad person after all. And no, I don't judge him and change my mind just because I suddenly realized he looks cute and a little, just a little bit handsome, no definitely not. Pfft~ it just he looks sincere.

"Let's befriend. My name is Son Chaeyoung. You can call me Chaeng" Again he smiles widely at me, placing the chocolate bar inside my palm.

I sigh and shakes my head. I should stop exaggerating things. Maybe it's because I'm too afraid and tension to the fact that I lost my way. I smile at him and offer a handshake which he accepts "Hi Chaeng, I'm Myoui Mina and sorry for earlier" I mumbled. Still ashamed. He gives me a brief nod then scoots closer.

We talk, and I tell him about me. My family moved here, to Korea a year ago due to my father's business. So, to say that I'm still not familiar with the streets is an understatement. I'd just enrolled in primary school here, the age system is quite different, hence I'm a year older than my age in Japan. Yes, I'm a proud Japanese. As a typical new student, it was hard to open myself and make friends in a short amount of time plus my reserved personality is not helping. Different than my sisters who easily socialize, I likely isolate myself. I'm still not used to the language and it thickens the barrier. I can understand but not really fluent in speaking. Perfectly honest, I want to go back to my hometown, where's my childhood friends were. No matter how good this place is, home is different.

Set that aside for now, how did I actually end up here, crying on the bench? So, my family went to the shopping mall and intended to have some quality time because my parents are usually occupied with works. When my father is on the job, we have our mother give us hugs and kisses and it goes for the other way around. We rarely have them both at the same time at home. It's Sunday, and they had free time which is quite a surprise. Me, as the youngest in the family tree, was super excited since dad promised to bring me to the arcade. When we walked past the park, I caught sight of iridescent glow of the butterfly wings. Swimming in the air. She was beautiful.

I chased after the butterfly following her as she flies to the direction guided by the sweet smells of the blooms. I was too mesmerized by her beauty, wanting to reach for her. She soon stopped and perched on the wildflower drinking deeply of the nectar. I crouched and stared at it, smiling as I turned around to call for my sisters but there was no one behind me. I realized I'm alone and I might just lost. I tried to calm myself and followed my mom's advice which to stay where I was. I sat down on the bench and wait and wait until my hope slowly fades as time passed. And, that is all. Currently, here I am telling my tragic story to this boy who's keen to listen.

"Hmm, I come with my father. I'll ask him to help you" He says before standing up and run away. I watch as his tiny legs support his quickstep then disappear from my sight.

He doesn't even let me speak. I don't want him to go and leave me here alone. Funny how I need his 'uninvited presence' now. I sigh and look down at my feet, waiting for him or anyone to find me. I start to imagine what if he doesn't come back and my parents don't found me, I'll stay up here until night and those beasty animal, ghost, will crawl and slowly eat m----

"Mina"

Eh? I look up, and there he is smiling at me. That's fast, I thought. Beside him is a man holding his small hand, wearing a casual black t-shirt and brown pants. Perhaps, it's his father. I watch as Chaengie pulls the man's hand and gesture at me. The man peeks at me and nods before he releases Chaengie's tiny hand and walks towards me. He crouches down in front, elbows on his knees "Chae said you need help. Are you lost, cherry?"

Cherry? Do I looks like che-- I shut my mouth straight and facepalms internally. I glance down to my dress, my white cherry floral printed dress. This man is the definition of a simple man. I have no doubt he is Chaengie's father. I let out a chuckle, gaining me their confusion looks. I brush it off and nods as my answer to his question earlier. The man smiles at me and offers a hand. "Come, I'll take you to the park center. And I'm not a bad person" he assured. He has the same ability as Chaengie, able to read through me. I did consider to turn down the idea since I should oblige to my mom's words, but who am I kidding? I'd break the rule by making friends with Changie who is a stranger to me a few minutes ago. And now he's no longer a stranger.

I nod and take his hand. He smiles at me and grips Changie hand's on the other side. We walk together down the grassy field until the man abruptly stops his step causing me to bump over his hip bone. He looks down at me, giving me apologetic smiles and ruffle my hair as a form of sorry, I guess. He averts his gaze to the front where two boys are playing football. "Hyun, Tzu come." He called. The boys stop and run towards us. I on instinct slowly hide behind. I've met too many new people in a day, and it's quite overwhelming to handle.

I heard them talking to each other while I try to peeps, glancing at the two boys. Honestly, they look like the sun and moon. The first one has light orange hair, unbelievably white and wears a huge grin on his face as if he's glowing to the fullest. The second one is a bit taller, has a black pitch hair and wears a straight face, his aura screams cold and dark but somehow comforting as the night did to us. Together, they make a perfect combination. Listening to their conversation, I learn that these two boys are Chaengie's brothers. If the sun and the moon are his brothers, what that makes him? I can feel that Changie is in between. He is both light and dark. Twilight. Yes, that's him.

"Cherry, this in Dahyun, Chae's older brother and this is Tzuyu, the youngest," The man says, gently pull me to the front.

He must be serious with the cherry, I thought. I glare at Chaengie's father which he only response by a chuckle, then I avert my eyes to the boys. I smile awkwardly and introduced myself, "Hi, my name Japan, eh? Mina! My name is Myoui Mina" As soon as I said that, I regretted it. What's with the stutter? Why can't I say something cooler instead?! I sound like a wrecked robot. The boys stare at me than to their father and nod in chorus. Probably getting the answer as to why their father called me cherry instead of my name.

"Now, let's go to the park center. We need to help cherry finds her parents" The man says. I vowed that this will be the last time I'll wear this dress.

We arrived at the destination which only takes us maybe ten steps away from where we stand. I'd told my name to the receptionist unnie behind the counter and she made a public announcement using the small microphone on her desk, describing my outfit. A girl in cherry clothing. I want to burn this dress. My hair is in a single ponytail, and I'm wearing penguin shoes, she can label that one instead. I sigh and walk to the plastic chair connected to the wall. Climbing it and sits down waiting for my parents.

I eat the chocolate that Chaengie gives earlier while swinging my feet. Suddenly It's raining, I glance to the glass panel and watch as the droplets of water hitting the surface. The sky goes dark even at two in the evening and so does the temperature gets colder. I rub one hand against my forearms while silently praying there will be no thunder. I drop my eyes to the tiled floor, feeling my own heartbeat quicken as I grip the chair to stop myself from shaking. I'm about to cry, I know. I already have the heavy feeling, fear and nervous, tears are the final release. Please, please, no thun---

That's when a bolt of white lightning flashed in the grey sky, blinding me. And I know exactly what comes next, but never prepared for it. In one, two, three seconds, the loud boom of the thunder strikes. I flinch and shriek in surprise, slammed my eyes shut as tears finally fall down. Sobbing, I clutch the chocolate tightly. Soon, I feel someone by my side. I peek beside me and learn to knows that Chaeng is hugging me, wraps me with his jacket and puts my head on his shoulder.

"Are you afraid of thunder?" He asks

"Eung"

"Haha I'm here don't worry"

It's comforting, if I were to be truthful. I always have my sisters beside me, to console and accompany whenever it's raining. If everyone has their own fear, mine is thunder. But now, with my sisters' absence, I thought I'll be a crying mess but Chaengie's here making me feels homey. Maybe it's because he's small, he's very cuddly. Perhaps, I just need someone, someone to stay, to tell me everything will be fine. At this moment, that someone is this tiny bean next to me.

He brings my head to lay on his shoulder. Then we fall asleep like that. With his head on top of mine. And holding hands because it just too cold here.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

I wake up first because of voices, people murmuring and blinking lights. I'm shaking when I see my family all in front of me and my sisters are taking pictures and laughing at me, at us. I jump from my seat causing Chaengie to accidentally bumps his head on the wall, whining in pain.

"Owwww. So sweeeet~" I heard sana's unnie voice, mocking me. I groan silently, deciding to ignore Chaengie for now as I'm filled with anger. My eye narrowed to them. I stomped my feet while crossing my arms, heading towards my unnies.

"What are you talking about. You leave me remember!?" I yell. To me, it's yelling but to them, it's just a normal pitch voice of a small kid. Sometimes, I don't like my soft and hushed tone. Sana unnie looks at me boringly, raising a brow. Momo unnie who is holding a camera, fingers on the shutter button, unconsciously presses it making a white flash flickered on my face. I turn my baleful glare at her. She smiles nervously and hides behind Sana unnie. I rarely mad, but when I do my rationality replaced by the only rage. Mom suddenly jumps in, bending in front of me while I tilt my head. Mom caresses my hair then pinch my cheeks rather painfully earning a whine from me.

"Sweetie, you suddenly disappear. Where are you going? We've been searching for you for hours. Thank god we have gentlemen here helping us and that little superhero" My mom says and points at Chaeyoung while giggling at the last words.

Ah.. right...

It's me who got lost. I watch as Sana unnie peek from behind, giving me an unamused face. Now I recall everything it's my fault. I slowly drop my head, fidgeting with my finger. "I-I'm chasing a butterfly and got lost. I'm sorry mom, dad, Sana-unnie, Momo-unnie" When I lift my head, I'm met by a tight hug from Sana unnie while Momo unnie is trying to fit herself in between the hug. I chuckle and give space for her to join us. Then, there it is, the inseparable trio.

.  
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After that, we go to a restaurant nearby. The room is huge and only a circle dining table inside, with a couch at the far left of the wall. I guess it must be a private dining room. I sit beside my dad and eat quietly while unnies seem to get along with Hyun and Tzuyu. Soon, it's desserts time, and I couldn't hide my excitement, eyeing the waiter as he walks to us with a tray on his hand. It's a hot fudge double chocolate ice cream with a strawberry on top. I'm glad it's not another cherry. I scoop the ice cream and eat happily while unnies, Hyun and Tzu are nowhere to be seen, probably playing hide and seek.

Mom keeps initiating conversation with Chaeng's father, sometimes they laugh at something I don't understand. Old people jokes, how would I know? I'm more puzzled by dad. I know he has always been a tight-lipped person same as me, but now he's unusually very quite. He doesn't even look up, only staring down at his food. I examine Chaengie's father who sits across the table. For some reason, he looks stiff. His laugh seems forced. Sometimes I caught him cautiously glancing at dad as if he's anxious and don't know what to do. Mom doesn't seem to notice this though as she keeps talking. Ahh, whatever, maybe it's just me being overthinking again. It could be nothing.

I shrug and look over Changie who concentrates on drawing something using crayons, not minding his dessert while mine is already empty. "Psst" I hiss, calling for him. He lifts his head and gives me a questioning face. I laugh awkwardly and looks down at his ice cream. "If you don't want it, mind if I...." I trail off. He smiles and nods at me.

"You can have it," he says before diverting his attention back to his drawing.

I happily jump down from the chair and walks around the table until I reach the empty seat next to him that once occupied by Tzuyu. I climb up and sits, sliding the glass bowl closer to me. I take the first scoop and bring it closer to his lips. He looks at me while I gesture him to open his mouth, not really having space to escape, he gives me a defeated look before eating it. I smile and feed myself then lean to his side, staring at his drawing. "What's that?" I asked. It's a mixture of random colors on a piece of paper but somehow harmonious. The bright, deep and earthy along with the cool, dark and warm.

"I don't know" He replies in a whisper.

I feel my own brows furrowed "You don't know what you're drawing? That's weird"

"I just do it" he shrugs.

I nod while pushing my lower lips. Sooo, I guess he's an artist. Since I don't understand what he's drawing, I'll try to understand him then. It wouldn't be that hard. He had helped me twice before and he looks approachable and kind. This will be my first time to be the one who initiates something, but I do really want to be his friend. I think he's cool.

"Hey, wanna play?" He asks, smiling at me as he packs his crayon and drawing, arrange it neatly inside his backpack. He then takes out square colorful sheets. Origami? I watch as he folds two papers into a different boat "So, what do you say?"

"Umm okay"

"Come on," He says as he pulls my hands out from the restaurant, taking the paper boat with him. I glance backward, worriedly watching my parents as we go further. I'd lost once, I don't want to be lost the second time again. I bring my eyes back to Chaengie as she drags me outside.

"Don't worry. We won't go far enough"

I heard him says, he really can read me huh? Just like what he has mentioned, we only stay a few meters away from the restaurants. He stops walking when he found a big puddle on the street. "Here, for you." He gives me one and put his boat in the puddle, formed after the rain. I smile at him who is excitedly looking at the boat floating and move as he blows it. He's still a kid but somehow mature. That's what I thought.

"How old are you Chaeng?" I crouch down beside him and slowly put my boat in the small pool of water.

"Huh? Oh, I'm 7 years old. You?" He asks, still eyeing his boat.

I smile "Call me noona I'm 2 years older than you" I always wanted a younger brother. Since I am the youngest in my family and I only have sisters, I want to have someone to look up to me and be my sports buddy. Unnies are not interested in games, so I always played alone. Wouldn't it great to have a rival to play games with on the Xbox and PS2.

"Hmm alright, Mina" He states as if what he just says is nothing.

"Noona!?" I defend, putting pressure on my voice to make me looks superior and scary, but ended up sounding like a depressed dolphin.

He turns to me and smiles cheekily "MI--NA~" he sings, pressing each syllable.

I sigh. It's useless to act tough and senior when I really am not. It just makes me look silly. I pout and use my usual voice "Chaengie you have to call me noona." He chuckles and stands while I follow his movement. His hands-on his back while he tilts his head as if he's thinking. When it seems like he finally gets the answer he's looking for, he grins and turns to me.

"Minariiiii" He yells and laughs while running away, pass by me and straight towards the restaurant. I puff my cheeks in annoyance before chasing after him. What a rude bean.

* * * *

Over hours, days, months and years. I and Chaeyoungie have become a very good friend even better, a family as we treat each other like brothers and sisters. Now, with me in 6th grade, we usually meet at the park playing random things, after school or on weekends. Sana-unnie, Momo-unnie, Hyun, and Tzuyu also join us sometimes. But today, there's only two of us. Momo-unnie has a dance class, Sana-unnie is attending her friend's birthday, Hyun with his piano lesson, while Tzuyu is grounded for a week because he punched a kid in the school. I don't blame Tzuyu though, that rude kid mocked Chaengie for his small figure and timid personality. If Tzuyu was late for another second, I would be the one who had done it.

I'm sitting on a bench. The exact bench where I cried when I lost in the park. Thinking of it now, it's verrry funny and embarrassing. 'Till now, Chaeng always teases me for it. I'm here alone cause he's buying ice cream for us and tells me to wait for him here since he won't take long. Bored, I decided to ride my bike around the park while waiting.

I want to explore the place deeper and suppose that it wouldn't hurt to go a little bit further. I follow the path through some trees until it came out along a hidden ledge near the cliff. I'm surprised to know that this place exists all the time yet I never been here. Feeling the wind blowing through my hair, I briefly close my eyes and breath in. It's satisfyingly refreshing. Not until I realize I'm going straight to the edge that's exposed, without any sort of fence or sign to alert people to the danger.

After that, there is nothing that could stop me. I'm so shock and have no idea what is happening. Slipping, then tumbling for what feels like forever, hitting trees and branches along the way. Before I know it I'm hurtling over grass, earth, and rock until the cliff slope became even steeper and I fell farther. A little later I reach the bottom, hitting my head on a small rock.

I cry in pain as I see my knees and elbow bleeding hard even my temple leaking the red liquid. It stings too much and I can't move when my whole-body ache. I'm so dizzy as if I just throw myself into a washing machine and now everything is moving in slow motion and blurry.

Gaining my energy, I push myself to sits and look up to the edge of the cliff, yelling for help. I sob harder when no one hears my scream. It's been more than half an hour already. Why there's no one passing by and I'm tired of shouting for help. My voice has weakened and become hoarse, I need water so bad. I almost give up until I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

"Mina!"

"Where are you?!"

"Minarii!!"

Chaengie. But I'd lost my voice, no sound coming out from my small mouth no matter how hard I tried to. Soon, I see him standing on the edge of the cliff, but he can't seem to notice me. I shout harder but it's useless. He walks away and disappears from my sight. I look down in despair. Why is this need to happen to me? I ask myself and cry as fear took over me.

"YAH MYOUI MINA!"

I jolt and lookup seeing Chaengie struggle to get down by sliding himself and safely arrive. I sigh in relief. Nothing could describe how happy I am at this moment which causing me to cry more due to happiness. I thought I'll be stranded here until night, eaten by predators and the next day there'll be breaking news about a tragic accident of a girl found dead in the bottom of a cliff.

"Hey, are you hurt?" Chaengie asks while kneeling in front of me. He pulls the bike off my body. I can't feel my leg anymore. It's numb. "Geez you're bleeding," he says before he takes his handkerchief. He covers my elbow with it and takes off his shirt for my knee. I stare at my injury while wincing. It stings sooooo much, I involuntary cry again.

"Hey, don't look at your wounds only look at me, so it won't hurt."

I obey and only stare at him ignoring the pain. He looks like an older brother despite being younger than me. I agree if he doesn't call me noona. Now I'm observing his face. Changie is really a good-looking boy. I hope he grows up and looks like Gong Yoo Oppa.

"Better?" He asks.

"Eung," I say, nodding while wiping the sweat forming on his temple with my thumb.

"This will never happen if you listen to me" He declares in a very cold tone. I know he's mad at me. I admit it's entirely my fault, if only I listen to him and stayed at the bench, we won't be in this position. But it's not like I want to fall from this cliff. Besides, he just comes here to save me, couldn't he console me first before nagging. I'm a mess now.

I watch him as he sighs heavily while staring at me. He scoots closer then hugs me. "Don't cry. It doesn't suit you. Shhh, It's okay. It will be fine" he hushed. Me, of course, reply to his hug. I need it so much.

Soon, he pulls away and fix my messy bang, brushing the strands of hair from covering my face "First, we must get out of here, and brings you to the hospital kay?"

I nod slowly. He smiles and stands, tilting his head upwards as he starts to scream for help. I tell him it's useless. No one will hear us.

"But there's nothing wrong in trying right? Better than do nothing. It's impossible for us to climb not to mention you're hurt" He says and continues shouting for help. But as I predicted, it just comes to no avail. He finally accepts my words and tries to climb the cliff instead, but it's too steep making it hard for him to balance himself plus the bumpy and sharp rock is not helping. He doesn't give up easily as it's our only escape but he keeps failing and getting tired as time passes.

A few hours waiting and trying. The darkness revives us. It's getting cold and I can hear crickets all the way. I see him shivering while his lip has turn purple, blowing on his hand to keep it warm. I quickly hug him, feeling guilty that we're in this situation is all because of me. I want to give him, his shirt back but he refuses and keeps convincing me his fine although his body reacts differently. He's freezing.

"M-mina le-t's try a-again" He shutters

"Alright"

This time he really pushes himself with all the energy he has left. I try to cope up with him despite the pain I feel, and my body becomes weaker and weaker. He holds my hand tightly while struggling to climb. Gripping the tree branches for support, he knows which path and where to step as he already familiarizes with the cliff. After those failed attempts, his body bleeds more and more and scratch badly because of the rock and branches that keep hitting him. I feel so bad and guilty. Although, my vision is getting blurry and dark dots are everywhere, I force myself to stay awake and follow his step.

Finally, we succeed. I smile faintly in relief. He takes a deep breath and leaves a huge sigh. He smiles at me and that is the last thing I see before everything turns black.

-to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The first few chapters will be about their friendship so yeah, enjoy!
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


	2. First Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

I wake up to the sound of beeping and murmuring. The first thing I see is Sana unnie smiling at me and she tells everyone I've woke up. I must be in the hospital after I roam my eyes and sees only a white painted wall, also the stingy sensation on my wrist dues to the IV needle. My family and Chaeyoung's then come to me and ask how I'm doing.I ask for a glass of water which my mom hurriedly pours for me, while Sana-unnie holds my arms and supports me to sits properly.

I look beside me and there's the Bean, half covered by the curtain but I know it's him, still sleeping soundly on the other bed with bandages on. I gulp the warm water, keeping my dry throat moist. After the last drop falls into my mouth, I abruptly drop my head down and sigh. Not realizing, I'm on the verge of crying again. Chaengie wouldn't be hurt if I just not being stubborn. This is all my fault.

"Mom, what happened?" I ask my mom who's sitting on the side of the bed, holding my hand. She seems to notice the guiltiness radiating from me.

"Oh dear, we're so worried that you and Chae went missing. We searched in your school, playground, mall and lastly the park. We should have known that you were there"

"We looked for you for some time until Chaeyoungie appeared, pouring with sweat while carrying you on his back. He passed out with you before we help him. We take you, kids to the hospital for further check-up. Don't ever do that again Mina, you don't know how worried I am" Mom explains with a slightly mad tone.

"I'm sorry mom" That's all I could say. I try to remember what had happened, but I can't. I'm just grateful to Chaengie and promise myself to treat him later.

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|Flashbacks|

Chaeyoung caught Mina before her body completely met the ground. Panic, he tried to wake Mina by gently shook her arms. The thought of something bad happened to her start to monopoly his mind, did her internal organs or something had injured? That was hardly can be seen through normal vision. Or it might be a high fever? Mina was sweating a lot. He thought. Chaeyoung quickly placed the back of his palm against Mina's forehead, eyes widen when his hands automatically retracted. Impulsive act towards Mina's burning skin. It only added the concern he had for her as he tried to wake her up again, this time shaking her a bit rough. Mina didn't answer him. It was night and Mina need help. He hurriedly supported her to sit and put her on his back.

He pushed himself to stand up and carried her while calling for her name. Still, Mina didn't respond, and he became anxious and concerned until he cried. Sweat trickled down his temple accompanied by his tears. The air was heavy and thick, he could hear movement in the dry leaves, the wind whistling through the branches. He paid no attention to it, to whatever creature or predator out there watching its prey or to how the sounds of the wind howling threatening whisper seemingly inviting them to enter a cemetery. He didn't care any of those. His brain only registering one thing, to bring Mina to safety. He walked through the uneven path, sobbing as the penguin hadn't shown a single movement.

"Mina please wake up," He said between his ragged breath. He sniffed due to the fit of crying and the cold as the tip of his nose reddened. It was there, the ringing screams vibrating in his ears, and the thumping of his heart against his chest. He felt himself suffocating yet he mustn't stop running. His legs weakened as time passed, after all, he was smaller in size compared to Mina. Once in while, his legs would just lost it and he'd ended up kneeling on the rough surface. Ignoring the numbness, he would put Mina down and wiped his tears using his freed hands. He needed to see clearly without the glassy water, covering his eyesight. Then, he would carry Mina again, tightening his grip while he swayed down the path. It repeated until his knees were bleeding caused by the sharp gravel.

As soon as he saw Mina's mom, he fastened his pace. Relief washed over him.

"Mother!"

Mrs. Myoui raised her head in surprise and turned on every corner, looking for the voice's owner. She knows exactly who is it belonged to. Not only her, Mr. Myoui and Mr. Son were also in the search group along with other men. She guided her flashlight towards the direction where she heard another scream, then there appeared from the shadow is Chaeyoung carrying her little girl.

"Oh God! Chaeyoungie" She runs to them and kneels before the boy. Quickly examining him and Mina.

"Please help Mina. Please-" As if his bones have no more strength and his muscles are all out of power, his sentence was simply cut as he too passed out afterward.

|End of Flashbacks|

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I'm sitting on the bleachers at the basketball field here in my primary school. It's break time and I've planned to eat with Chaengie but he is nowhere to be seen. I look for him everywhere then decides to just buy food for us first. When I arrive at the canteen, there's only one bun left. Well, I've eaten breakfast, I'll buy this for Chaengie. The food is still untouched as I watch him playing basketball with some boys and decides to wait for the game to end. I planned to read my book but I can't help but disregard it for a while. Chaengie looks so small compared to the boys as he tries to catch the ball. He is easily being shoved away, stumbling then falling. I narrowed my eyes, reading the situation. They are not playing, they are basically aiming Changie. Some unnecessary forces and fool mistakes just to hurt the Bean. This is all just an act.

"Shortie! Don't play with us. You only make us lose"

I heard that. Insulting my Bean brother is a big No to me. I close my book, grips it tightly and walk towards. The boys are surrounding Changie who's lost in the crowd as all the boys towered him. I push myself inside the crowd and to the center, grabs Chaengie's small hand and hides him behind me, while my right hand is occupied by my thick hardcover book. I raise my chin to face the boy in front of me, a big and tall kid for his age. I know this boy, he's quite popular among my friends for his athletic ability. They said he was hot because of his cockiness, I take that as rubbish.

"What did you say?" I ask using a flat tone, not backing away from his threatening stares. I know, I against all the boys here is completely nuts, but if you're able to bring down the king, or I would rather call it as a vile unworthy king then the weakling army will shut up. And I have something in mind. The boy chuckles and lowered himself, getting closer. I bring my right hand to the back, building the energy and to help increase the speed and power.

"I said this kid is a shor---"

I give no time for him to finish his sentence. I swing my arms straight forward, landing a powerful smack on his cheeks or rather be his head, with my book. I'm glad I was reading Goblet Of Fire, the thickest book in the Harry Potter series. How I wish this book is a portkey so I can transport to my house and take dad's katana then return. Of course, I'm just exaggerating. Now I feel bad for my book, I hope it will be fine. Or should I buy a new one later? My thoughts vanish when I'm awaken by groaning and murmuring voices around me. I look down at the boy who's cupping his face, lying on the ground while cursing at me. Oh, I forgot I just hit this kid. Maybe he needs another one on his dirty mouth.

"You're welcome if you want another. We've got all day." I spit out, staring at him boringly. I'm in trouble, big trouble, I know and inside I'm also afraid and nervous. I rarely involved in a fight but like I said no one can touch my Bean and my patience has a limit. I get it that violence is still wrong but they started it by acting like they were playing when they were instead pushing, tripping, and punching Chaengie with their elbow pretending it to be a mistake. Well, my principle is, eye for an eye. I sigh and turn to the other boys who are watching us as they take a step away from me "Y'all can have a taste too. I have a lot of books" It needs only one person to starts running away and escape. Soon the other follows, now the army is done.

"Y-You lucky you're a girl," The vile king said before he too runs away. I sigh in relief. If I'm, to be honest, I was afraid if all of them jumped on me and Changie. We cannot win the majority but it looks like my plan had worked. I wanted to celebrate my little achievement and victory, this is my first time though, fighting and hitting someone. What an experience. I turn around, expecting Chaengie's dimpled smile but instead I'm met by a glare, disappointed yet mad look from him. I don't understand. He moves down his dark gaze towards my hand that's still tightly gripping his wrist. I let go of his hand and apologizes when I see the red mark formed on his wrist. And just like that, he walks away, leaving me behind.

I catch him and walks beside him. He still has that angry expression plastered on his face as it turns red or is he embarrassed? I ask myself. But judging by him, fully ignoring me, I guess he's mad. "Chaengie" I call him softly while nudges the side of his stomach. He abruptly stops walking and lifts his head to level my eyes, staring intensely at me. Yup, he's mad.

"Stop doing that. I can handle it on my own" He breathes out.

"I'm just trying to help," I say, defending myself. Feels like I want to cry anytime soon. Why is he so mean? It's not easy all right, I'm not a loud and powerful kid and especially I'm a girl. But I stood up for him against all the boys though inside I'm freaking out. Can't he just appreciate my effort? What did I do wrong?

"Did you know why I'm even there in the first place" He raises a brow, waiting for my answer. Of course, I didn't know why there are playing basketball when obviously Chaengie is in disadvantages and I bet he knows it too. "They mocked me, said I'm a crybaby, losers and weak because I always hide behind you when actually I'm not. And great, you just proved them right. I don't need your help nor your protection" He gives me an insincere smile then walks away. I am left bewildered. Is that how he really thinks of me? I just want to protect him or is it too much? I dragged this to him. I should've considered his feelings. I guess he played the game to prove himself, to show them he's capable of standing on his own. And I just ruin it.

I look towards Changie's direction and again chase after him. This time not walking by his side but silently follow his step from behind, hanging my head because of guiltiness. I wanted to say sorry but I'm afraid. I always observe my surrounding, I read people like how I read books. That's why I know how to respond to people's behavior and how to deal with people easily. But Chaengie is one of those minority whom I can't understand. He is unpredictable. Fact, logic, psychology had no effect on him. Because of that, I'm always unsure and doubting myself around him. I don't know what's the right thing to do, to say to him. And I don't know how he will react. It scares me.

"I need to be strong. I'm the one who should protect you not the otherwise"

I heard his mumble. I raise my head and instantly smile. Of course. That's what it is all about. I peek from behind, bringing my hands to the back and tiptoed nearing him. "I would love that," I say and move to his side now. He shows no reaction and just continues walking towards the basketball hoop. "Are you still mad at me?" I ask as he crouches down to picks up a ball, not even sparing me a glance.

He sighs and turns to me "I see you bring something. Is it food? Cuz I'm hungry" He gives me a small smile. Twilight, I'm right. Not as dark as Tzuyu not as bright as Hyun. I know even if he's angry with me, it won't last long though his treatment will taste different then the usual. Not completely ignoring you, not completely forgiven you. It will take him some time. For me that itself is enough, as long as he still beside me and be my friend, then I'm content.

I smile and nod before jogging to take the plastic bag containing bun bread and strawberry milk. He slowly follows me while bouching the ball with one hand. We end up sitting on the bleachers, him beside me. I give the bread and the milk to him. He happily takes it and thanks me, though it doesn't linger long. He frows and looks up to me "Where's yours? Are you not eating?"

"I'm full," I say trying to assure him but my tummy betrayed me. The rumbling sounds break the air. I close my eyes in annoyance. This is embarrassing. I bite my lips and looks away, I hope he doesn't hear that. It's silent for some time. I think I'm fine. I clear my throat then face him, stealing a glance. When my eyes met his, he smiles widely showing his deep dimple. That's when I'm certain. He heard it. Stupid Myoui, stupid tummy. I want to pull my hair so bad. "Pretend you didn't hear that" I mumble.

"What? I didn't hear anything" He smiles then breaks the bun into two pieces. "Actually, I'm not that hungry. Quite full. So let's share." He says, handing me a piece. I know what he is doing. Saving me from embarrassment and I'm thankful for it. We eat the bun in silence. There's only two of us here and some boys can be seen far away in the football filed. "I might be tiny, but I can shoot. Want me to teach you?" He asks as we tidy up. I hum first and think, not realizing I'm already being drag by Changie back to the basketball court.

I finally nod in defeat and takes the ball he offered. We stand before the free throw lines as he moves behind me. "Start with bend your knees," He says as I follow his instruction. I catch his smile when he sees my hand that's awkwardly holding the ball. He takes my hands and adjusts it to the correct positions. "Balance yourself" He hooks his legs on my foot and slightly widens my feet but still narrower than shoulder-width apart. "Dominant foot in front" He pushes my right foot from behind a bit further forward. "Knows your shot pockets" He placed his hand above mine, bringing the ball lower to my stomach area. I puff my cheeks, somehow this is nerve-wracking. I glance to my shoulder where he places his chin. He looks so serious in this. "Eyes on the target" He scolds as he catches me staring. I quickly avert my attention back to the hoop.

"Then, shoot"

I breathe out, eyes fixed on the rim. I jump, higher than it should be while leaning forward, something Chaengie told me not to do, but it's in my natural movement. I could feel a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders but ignores it as I push the ball upward with my shooting hand aimed at the basket. I think I succeed. My feet met the ground after my high jump, exhaling as I watch the ball making a half loop towards the net. Flying like a wingless golden snitch proudly cut through the air. All attention is focused on the graceful ball bathing in the soft glow of the sun's last rays before it settles down the horizon.

Closer and closer to the front rim. And......

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Clang!

It hits the backboard, bounces back to the side rim then rolling at the edge before finally gives up the hole and into the net. A smile eternally stained upon my lips, no not just a smile, but a huge grin curve on my face. Couldn't contain the intense happiness that seeps into me, I squeal rather loudly making a weird whistling sound. "I did it!! Chaengie did you see that!! I finally did it!!" I jump excitedly while shaking Chaengie's arms. He peeks from behind and smiles, ruffling my hair. He rests his arm on top of my head. I groan and look up to him.

"Yeah, you did. After years" He mocks, grinning at me. I press my lips shut. He's right anyway. The first time he taught me how to shoot was when we were still in primary, the ball hit the rim and bounce back at me, hitting my head. As far as I remembered, my nose bleeds that day. Since then, I forced Chaengie to come to the court every single day and watch me shoot. I'm very competitive, thus I never give up, it's frustrated me that I can't get the ball go into the net. I feel like the backboard is laughing at me whenever I failed.

"Now, who's shortie huh?" He smirks. His hair now is auburn mullet haircut with a curvy and long bang but well-trimmed. The thin voice he had when he was young now replaced by a deep and husky voice. And I like it--Wait what? NO, I HATE IT. I HATE HIM. To death.

Honestly, I have no idea. how come he change drastically in only a few years. We're in our high school now, not the young, innocent and small us but a more mature and grown-up of a version. He's very intelligent, although I've never seen him studying always with his painting, he can skip two years and able to be in the same class as me. That's too is weird, I know he likes art but instead he chooses to be in the science stream. He said he wants to be a doctor the same as me, reason? To be surrounded by beautiful nurses. I'm disgusted. I choose science because I'm interested in medical studies. I love the idea of helping others in a significant way, having the opportunity to restore people's lives to normalcy and even save some from death itself. Isn't it rewarding?

For this guy, I'm totally against him to be a physician. I would have approved it if it's the Chaengie that I know back then, the Chaengie that wanted to protect me, the one who's dependable, the quite and cool-headed. Chaengie that I know is always a timid, shy boy but when time passes he slowly change and become that one friend who annoys you every single day. He goofing around a lot and finds every opportunity to tease or embarrassed me in class and in front of my family. The irritating Cub----I have no right to addresses him Bean now as he grows a lot taller than me and I hate it so bad----claims himself to be my 'black night' by reporting me to my mom for anything I've done, mostly the bad ones and the embarrassing ones.

For example, as the head prefect, I'm mostly responsible for morning assembly in the main hall. I stayed in the stage, instructing my fellow prefects and helping the emcee in her speech. Although I didn't have a loud voice and perfect leadership traits but somehow my integrity and intimidating nature self causing me to be picked. While we were busy preparing, the students were lining up according to their class and wait for the teachers to arrive. From my view, I can detect Chaengie laughing and snatched his friend's phone before running away, barging through the sea of pupils that were already obediently arranged in a line. Growls and complain can be heard coming from the other classes as he recklessly shoved them away to escape from his friends. I can see everything up here. That behavior was unacceptable. I hastily grabbed the microphone from the podium.

"Son Chaeyoung!! You better stop ru----*squeak*"

I stopped talking so did everyone. As if in slow-motion, all eyes were on me, every movement was put on a halt. 'Did my voice just creaked?' I just shouted without any preparation. Too much for my soft voice to handle. Chaengie was the first person to burst, slapping his hand up and down almost involuntarily and could barely breathe for laughing then the hall exploded in laughter, echoing through the hall. I planted my gaze low and stepped down from the podium, wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. I could hear the infectious giggle coming from my subordinates but it stopped once I shoot them a death glare. I couldn't believe it happened, and in front of everybody too, approximately thousands of students. I stood soaking in the cruel laughter.

Of course, Chaengie didn't let the incident slide away without my family knowing. That day, I received another humiliation from my sisters. I know they were making fun of me and it's was just a mere joke but I did feel quite upset. For some odd reason, Chaengie was extremely happy the next morning. He bought me lots of penguin plushies, brought me to the arcade, bought me ice cream, and gifted me with a new pair of pointe shoes. Well, it did lift my mood. But it only lasts a day, the next time I saw him, he turned to that annoying brat again. If there's something that never changes in him is, he's unpredictable. I still don't understand him sometimes.

Growing up with him, I slowly got used to him toying me. I mean, it happens every single day. It's even weirder if he ever let me go and spare me his not-so-funny jokes and stop poking fun of me. I'll think he is sick or something. The teasing and mocking will go on and on without stopping.

If I eat too much; "You'll look like a pig"

If I'm dieting; "Hahaha living skeleton"

If I'm happy; "Stop smiling, you creep me out. Did you hit your head somewhere?"

If I'm crying instead of comforting me; "You should see your face! It's so funny! You look like a clown penguin drowning in the sea, hahaha Look!" That's what he said holding a mirror in front of my face. There's the blossoming red upon my cheeks while the tip of my nose flushed the color of watermelon popsicle. My mascara running down the corner of my eyes as it blends with tears and my lips would purse forward in a visible pout. I do look silly, extremely silly to cry over the news that my favorite ketchup is out of stock at the moment. I sniffle and breaks into small laughter after seeing my own reflection. I'm a mess there and I do look like a clown penguin.

"Chaengie! look at this! When I get married--" I babble in excitement. I put the pillow that I was hugging and scoots closer to the edge of the bed, showing him a picture of a wedding dress as he lounge in my armchair.

"No one will marry you" He interjects nonchalantly while scrolling down his Instagram feeds.

"Erggh" He always does this. When he himself never in relationships before, hump! I stick my tongue out and back to my position; sitting crossed legs in my bed while hugging my cute fluffy plushie.

"Except....." He adds, putting his phone down and turns to me.

I look at him signaling him to continue.

"A seal! Hah! a seal and a penguin match made in heaven" He laugh, harshly throw his phone in the desk in front as his hands wrap around his stomach. Fat tears roll down his newly pinked cheeks and it would be several minutes before it subsided.

I glare at him and randomly shouts, "Reduc---"

"Avada Kedavra!" he fastly cut in, pointing his index finger at me. I froze before clenching my fist, throwing him my penguin of Madagascar cushion that he easily dodges as it passes the side of his head. "You're dead" He smirks, still giggling while crossing his arms.

"You cannot do that" I whine, every Potterhead including me knows, it's the unforgivable curse, a spell that sent you directly to Azkaban, the horrendous place where many death eaters were imprisoned. Guided by the hideous and horrific dementors. No one could imagine living even a single day in there let alone years."It's a foul!" I protest.

Chaengie keeps the sly smirk and shrugs "As long as the enemies are dead, I'm happy"

I scoff in disbelief "Mean bastard" I throw him my big penguin plushie that I'm hugging, which this time landed perfectly on his face. The impact causes him and the armchair to toppled back and I laugh automatically, seeing the view in front of me unfold. The loud thud of his back hitting the wooden plank of my bedroom floor earn us a yelling coming from downstairs. It's my mom, asking what's happening. I shout back, saying everything is alright and it's only Chaengie being his stupid self.

With that being said, he groans and starts to chase me with that big penguin plushie, seeking for revenge. I hurriedly snatch my white wintery bolster, relief that I'm now fully armed then run around the room. Of course, in no time he catches me from behind and lifts me while I squeal and laugh, trying to escape his strong arms that wrap my waist. I kick my legs in the air, in an attempt for him to let me go and he does throw me in the bed where I bounce and giggle. He smirks while picking up a random cushion on the floor and hovered over me. I on instinct, use my bolster as a shield then fights back, rolling over him, sitting on his stomach as I grab his cushion and using it against him instead. The pillow fight escalated from a bedroom battle to an all-out war with a big mess feathers littering the room.

The last thing I remember from the fight is a loud cluck and the next minute, I see stars and bright glowing light. I'm sure I could see penguin hopping around, circling my forehead. It's the first time I ever been knocked out by someone. During the fight, Chaengie has somehow managed to slip my gamepad inside his pillow. That day, I have to sleep in the hospital while nursing an egg-sized lump over my eyes. Chaengie receives a hard smack on his head anyway, coming from Papa Cherry and he sobs asking for my forgiveness. I chuckle at this, it looks like we are still kids in heart.

Chaengie is welcome to come over my house anytime and he does every weekend. My parents see him as their son, well since they only have three daughters, and sometimes he will spend a night here watching football with my dad same as Hyun and Tzuyu. The guest room is more like his room, rather than playing the purpose for the unexpected visitor. To me, Chaengie is not only a friend, but he is also my very annoying brother, my stupid partner in crime, and my other half. Though he is bothersome, I cannot go on with a day without him, it feels empty and boring and of course, I never said this to him. He'll think highly of himself and boast around. The guy never takes things that serious and play dummy whenever he can.

Soon, I start to get along and play with his game.

We're watching a movie together at my house, his family also here. The living room is dim with the vintage wall sconces that hang on the light brown colored wall. Mom loves old-fashioned thingy contrast to my father who's all futuristic kind of a person, maybe that's why Chaengie and mom easily clicked because they have similar interests. Papa Cherry, Dad, Mom, Sana Unnie and Me, lounge in the antique couches, accompanied by rich velvet and bronze wing-chairs that placed as sidekicks whereas Hyun and Momo Unnie occupied on each side. Chaengie and Tzuyu sit on the floor--precisely under my feet, leaning against the couch---with a bunch of cushions and popcorn with them.

I have myself tucked while leaning in the armrest, sometimes kicking Chaengie's back for popcorn and sometimes just to annoy him because he seems immersed in the movie, of course, it's a classic movie, he likes this kind of thing. While watching our hand touches as both of us grab a piece of pizza at the same time. Then the staring contest begins before I mindlessly snatch it from his hand.

"Hey! Mina that's the last piece, give it to me!" He rebukes, trying to reach me or more likely my pizza.

"Nope! It's mine" I fight then hide behind Sana-unnie, using her as my barrier since I know Chaengie really respect Sana-unnie and won't harm her. While Sana-unnie sits calmly, not really care that she's trapped between our bickering as Chaengie tries to pinch me with limited movement, afraid he'll hurt Sana-unnie instead. It's not entirely my fault though, this piece is my second out of sixteen large boxes dad had bought for all of us. I'm certain Momo-unnie ate seventy percent of it.

"You always do this" He whines which I stick my tongue out for his complaint.

"Do you have something between you guys?" Hyun asks the question that I've been hearing for my entire life. Me and Chaengie? Huh! Never.

"NO!!!" We shout in unison then glare at each other.

Or in one other time, it seems like he's protecting me, but I'm not sure. As I said, he's still an unfinished jigsaw puzzle to me, a madly impossible choreography to learn, a maze that has no escape. Something, or rather someone who's confusing and hard to understand. I feel defeated and disappointed by myself as how much time we had spent together yet, I never fully have a firm grasp on him.  
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It was one horrible day for me where I, the systematic and methodical Myoui Mina forgot to bring her Chemistry textbook. Where we will have to make soap to study soap synthesis and the experimental procedure for important cautionary notes was in the textbook. I'm certain that I left the book on my study desk at home as I'd revised Chapter Salt in Chemistry since it still unclear to me, until midnight, then woke up late, and forgot it. Good Mina, you did a really good job. To make things worse, Mrs. Lee, the head of the science department and also our Chemistry teacher is known as the Viper. The nickname came from our previous, previous senior then passed to the next generation, it had been around for decades. All came to down because the teacher looked like a snake, terrifying and strict.

The class went automatically dead silence when Mrs. Lee walked inside, in a black dress and tights along with her black heel, making a click and clang sound against the tiled floor. Her hair was neatly tied in a bun and her rectangle black-framed eyeglass with chain bead hanged around her neck.

"Everyone turns to page 394" Mrs. Lee commanded as she put down the bunches of file she had with her earlier where no one brave enough to offer help, or rather no one wanted to. I was still clueless about what was coming, had no idea that Mrs. Lee was probably dressed in all black as she already predicted that one of her students forgot to bring her textbook and was ready to attend a funeral. That funeral was supposed to be mine.

Shoot! Where did I put it? Why is it not here? My mind was in haze when I couldn't find the book in my backpack even in my desk drawer.

"Miss Myoui, did you bring your textbook?" She questioned with that interrogation and demanding tone while walking closer to me. I could escape this situation mostly (not that I'm always in trouble, it's really rare) because I'm a favorable student by a lot of teachers as I'm excellent in their subjects. But not Chemistry, I'm weak at it plus Mrs. Lee never had her favorite student, she treated all of us the same, no matter who you are. I can felt all eyes were on me, though I paid no attention to it only the sound of Mrs. Lee's heels approaching me monopolized my mind. I'm dead.

"I didn't bring my book, Ma'am. Mina lent me hers. Here" Chaeyoung who was sitting beside me cut in and slide his book to my table. I snapped my head to his side, knitting my brows in a way of asking what kind of joke is he pulling now.

"I bet you'll be delighted to choose between a week of community services or a month of detention, Mr. Son" Mrs. Lee noted, emphasizing every word that left her mouth. A week of wearing green bibs and clean the school or imprisoned for a month after school. Both were nightmares to me.

"I chose you" Chaengie flirted, resting his hand on his chin while winking to our teacher. Our horrifying teacher. I mentally face-palmed myself, what a gut he had. Brave but stupid. A series of silent giggles and gasp could be heard coming from other students while Mrs. Lee stood frozen. I know she was not shocked by it or anything, she just took time to calm herself. She put down her book and went to Chaengie's side.

"You Brat!! Out!" Miss Lee shouted while dragging Chaeyoung out the classroom pulling his ear.

"Ouch! That's hurt woman" He complained while stumbling on his feet. The class broke into laughter because of his remark. I pressed my lip, but couldn't help to smile. Silly Cub.

I sat across him at lunchtime, placing my tray on the table before I turned to him who was currently devouring his food. "Chaeng you don't have to do that," I said, burdened by guilt.

He lifted his gaze and arched a brow. "What? No, don't get me wrong. I do that to skip that suffocating class. But if you're thankful, introduce me to some of your girlfriends" He said wiggling his eyebrow and smiled foolishly.

Well, that's never going to happen. I pitied her, whoever going to be his future girlfriend or his destined soulmate. I didn't want my friends to suffer, it's okay with me dealing with this bastard but I don't think anyone can stand him with that annoying personality.

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Although it's rare sometimes he comforts me when I'm really encountering emotional outbursts mostly due to the movie or books I'm attached to. I, as a homebody, spend ample time reading books collection and movie series. It's entertaining and fun, but I often trapped inside the alternative universe and hardly managed to find a way out.  
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For example, Chaengie and I were in middle school at that time. It was around July 2011 where the seventh and final movie, Deathly Hallows Part 2 of the Harry Potter series was released. It was wildly popular back then. The most anticipated movie since it marked the end of the evil forces of the wizarding world in an all-out war. I'd read the novel and I knew exactly what was going to happen but never prepared for it. Chaengie accompanied me to the cinema and we watched it together. I thought I was fine, not until I reached home.

Sniff Sniff

Dry racking sobs filled the room. I hear my own sounds, like a distressed child crying while I clutched the black covered book close to me. I brought my knee to my chest and choke in the air as I tried to inhale.

"Mina"

I felt the bed shifted a little as it held up another weight. An arm wrapped around my shoulder pulling my head against the crook of his neck. The leaking water from my puffy eyes traced down my cheeks and dripped steadily into his sweater. "Changie" I breathed out and sniffed "W-why Fred had to die" I stuttered.

"He is just a fictional character, Mina." He placed his hand above mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. But what he said only makes me more furious.

"NO! It's not just a character." I retorted.

"Alright" He chuckled quietly and pulled me into a tight hug. "Shush. Stop crying will ya, it doesn't suit you" He cooed while caressing my hair until I fell asleep in his embrace.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

I'm touched by his action back then, comforting me when I needed it the most. But as always, it didn't stay long, he teased me a lot the next day. What a jerk. Anyhow, back to the current, Changie and I are quite a homey towards each other, inseparable as if our soul has reached out to make the eternal bond of real friendship. For friendship is love and it must have a foundation of trust. That is what we are and both, I supposed, aware of how valuable the bond we shared as none of us ever wanted to break it.

Now, in our senior year, everyone knows how close we are. Though they constantly mock us to be together they know it only ends as a friend, and both of us know it too. There are no rules or anything that apply to that, it just comes naturally for us to stay where we are. After all, friendship is hundreds of times or even thousands of times better than romantic relationships and that, both of us are aware of it.  
I'm not gonna lie, it does cross my mind sometimes, but I usually just brush it off. I'm content enough, I don't want to take any risk that might break us.

It is also around this time when I fall in love with someone, specifically the new transferee. The moment he comes, he already put interest in me, and bold enough to show it without any hesitancy to hides his feelings. I'm confused at first but I gradually find his effort and confidence attractive. I'm not really sure whether it's what you call love or only infatuation, I have no idea. But I do convince myself that this is my first love. So I reply to him.

"I like you, Mark".

-to be continued-


	3. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Mina! Hug time!"

Knowing who's the voice belong to, I turn around, witnessing the Cub running through the hallways. I close my locker and face him as he stands waiting for me with his arms spread open. His wide grin making a way for his one dimple crinkled.  
I hug my books tightly and glance around before bringing my gaze back to him.

"Umm Chaeng, Mark will see us" I heave, biting my lips. His smiles instantly died, replaced by a frown. I feel incessant throb in my heart, telling me I should apologize for being callous and ignorant. I know what I just said is wrong, but I can't help it.

"Fine!" He retorts, groaning as he stomps his feet, marching away from me.

Sighing. I don't know why but ever since I'm in a relationship with Mark, Chaengie seems to be more clingy than usual. I'm not complaining since he said to know if someone loves you, make them jealous but I don't want to overdo it because everyone has their own limit. Strangely, this act reflecting Mark, he also gets obsessive whenever Chaeng is around. They both throw glare at each other, yearning for my attention, spitting sarcasm. Even a date with Mark will not complete without Chaeng's presence, he acts like a brother of mine and makes sure no one crosses the line. I find this situation is hard and ridiculous 'cause I don't want to be in anyone side but try to be the peacemaker.

"Chaengie!" I call out, trying to catch him.

And I must deal with both of this kid and their jealousy.

I run and grab him by the wrist, making him face me. He looks at me with furrowed brows and pouting. I chuckle a bit before I pat his head and hug him, thankfully, he responds after a while.

"How come you abandon your best friend for that jerk" He hisses.

I pull away and connect both our hands, bitterly swing it sideways "Chaengie, don't call him like that" I sulk. It's upsetting to hear that coming from him. I won't deny that it's entirely my fault for spending less time with Chaengie but I hope he could understand that.

"He's not a good guy, Mina-ya." He protests while looking down, caressing the back of my palm with his thumb.

"And how do you know that? We already discuss this aren't we?" I say softly while leaning forward, wanting to meet his eyes. "Look, you're my best friend. Can you please support me?" I add, sounds like I'm pleading, well I really am. I don't want to lose any of them.

"Bu-----" He trails off. I watch as his jaw wired shut, eyes narrowed and fixed as if he's looking at something far beyond my head. "Where is it?" He growls. The sudden guttural tone got me confused and shocked.

I tilted my head "Eh?"

He stares at me for a while, groaning before he leaves me dumbfounded. I blink, refocuses, waking myself from the puzzled state. 'Why is he like that?' I look at my hand figuring out what's wrong with him then....

For god's sake Mina! The bracelet!!

Yes, we have the same bracelet. You can call it friendship bracelet. Mom gave it to us on Christmas when I'm twelve and he was ten. Since then, we never take it off from our wrist. Chaeyoung said he likes it because it's his first time someone gave him that and he fancies the design. While me, I'm wearing it because I treasure our friendship and he always checks on me whether I wear it or not. He takes it seriously.

And today Myoui Mina for the first time take it off and even forgot to wear it back. Because of the bracelet, a lot of people mistaken us to be together and Mark always asked me to not wear it. I'm not arguing about the subject of what people's thoughts of me and Chaengie, it doesn't bother me at all but it does for Mark. Our relationship goes quite good except for Chaengie's interruption, Mark seems really interested in my background and me myself in which my history matters a lot to him. At first, I had suspected that he was aiming for my wealthiness because of his overly curiosity towards my family and my past but then I found out he belongs to a prestige family. I guess, I was overthinking again.

Trying to save and defend our relationship, I try to do his way and only take off my bracelet today, planning to put it back. What a life. I'm a little hesitant to talk with Chaengie because he's a bit sensitive nowadays. He has become a caricature of himself, which I'm unfamiliar with. Once his emotions are variable, sometimes gregarious, other times moody. His soft face with the beginning of laughter lines only creased in anger and annoyed when I'm around. I only observe him from far. He distances himself from me, not even sparing me a glance even though he visits my house, he literally ignores me as if I do not exist. While me, I'm shy to start a conversation with him although our routine will always be the same---Chaengie will pick me up to school and send me home. I hold back, wanting to talk to him but not knowing what to say or how to say it. I never saw that side of him and encountered this problem. Somehow our friendship slowly falling apart.

This whole situation makes me think back whether Mark is worth to lose Chaengie.

And he's NOT.

After a few months, I found out he cheated on me. I heard people gossiping about it and at first, I didn't believe that rumour. I asked Mark about it and he denied it telling me that's all Chaengie plan to break us and yes stupid me I trust his word. I close my eyes and ear from all everyone and my shyness towards Chaengie turns to ego and then hatred.

All those time, there's never a day where I don't feel his absence. Chaengie, a guy who sent me smiles so bright you could see them from across the land and whose thoughtfulness warmed your heart. I was best friends with the man whose brown eyes sparkled like those of a child in a candy store and whose laugh was so contagious you often found yourself breathless in his presence. The kind of guy who would drag you out of the house in the middle of the night to get a greasy snack, who spent hours sketching the same thing until he got it right and, most of all, he was the kind of friend who never failed to distract you from your everyday worries using his lame jokes.

And now I regret everything. Like always, I should've listened to Chaengie when he told me Mark is a bad bad awful jerky wimpy-stingy person. Me, out of all people should've aware of it beforehand.

"Myoui Mina are you listening?!"

I look up, still as a statue. I let my eyes roam around and realize. Oh yeah, I'm daydreaming in class. What subject is this again? My unblinking stares set at the young man walking closer to me. It's Mr Park Hyun majoring in Physics, a new teacher assigns to this school, as our former teacher take maternity leave. I don't really in favour with this man, he's worse in teaching. I sigh silently, swallowing the bitterness "I'm sorry Sir" I murmur.

"I'm not expecting this coming from you Mina. Detention. And pay attention to the next class"

I bow and walk out of the classroom. Well, did he ask me anything? I didn't hear a single word since I'm busy spacing out and still depress after I break up with Mark yesterday, in a cool way. A hard slap on the cheek. I really have to clear my mind anyway so instead of the detention room, I go to the rooftop to take fresh air.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Chaeyoung knows everything about Mina. He even the first to found out that Mark cheated on her. He was on the way to buy a new supplement for his painting project when he saw a familiar figure on the back-store kissing. He was about to shrug it off but decided to turn again and cleared his suspicion. And he was right. It was Mark but with a girl, he didn't know.

He was about to kill him but his mind stopping him from doing that.

Who am I to butt in?

Mina even forgets about me already.

With that, he walked away to the park and ran until he felt numb all over his legs. Shouted in anger and disappointed with himself that he can't do anything to Mark. He tried to warn Mina and preventing her from knows, not wanting Mina to get hurt but the girl never listened to him and he too stops trying. He thought it was better for Mina to see it herself. Although he'd always stick up for her in front of others, even when he knew she was wrong. Then privately he'd let her know what he really thought and how she should have behaved differently, who she should apologize to, how to avoid repeating the mistake. Mina always listened to him because he also listened to her. But this time, it's different when Mina chose to close her ears. He just hopes Mina will find out the truth and thankfully she did.

"Ouch! Who did that?! Who throws this!?"

Chaeyoung sigh, tapping his index finger on the desk before he lifts his head." Sir, you're babbling. Don't take yourself seriously, no one does" Chaeyoung puffs his cheeks and stands pulls the strap of his backpack before settling it on his shoulder. "Where did they pick this kid, must have got in as a favour" he murmurs under his breath, walking out of the classroom. The said teacher is caught off guard as his feet glued to the ground, while the other students cannot agree more and shrug it off.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"What a nice place" I suck in the air as if nothing has ever been so sweet. Those weeks in the state of broken-hearted had felt like decades. I would describe the air as like that in walk-in freezer, it has a certain moistness to it and refreshing, but it's as cold as Arctic ocean. I close my eyes, only to he scold buy own self of how stupid I had been. The coldness freezes my brain, nausea swirls in unrestrained in my empty stomach. My head swims with half-formed regrets. My melancholy mood hangs over me like a black cloud, raining my personal sorrow down on me wherever I go. I hate whatever feeling I'm having right now.

Out of complete silence, the cry arises. The beads of water start falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. My grip tightens on the railing. I go back to where it all happened. I wanted to take away the power of the painful memory for hurt, prove to myself that I could choose to move on. So I find the one I love the most, my best friend, and there I see where we made a great memory, a happy one, a healing one. This hit me harder than it ever be.

It's a deep, depressing and traumatic emotional causing me a tremendous amount of suffering and pain. I'm starting to lose focus, and finding myself staring into blank space, loss of appetite, sleeplessness from crying nonstop, feeling like something is physically crushing my chest. And the worst thing is I don't know the reason for it.

Something is just missing.

Then, I feel something on my shoulder as I open my eyes to find out what it is. A blazer. Specifically, Chaengie blazer as I read the name tag on it. I swiftly turn to my side and there he is leaning against the railing. My eyes widen in surprise, I'd calculate various scenario if ever I confront him, I plan to, but not this early. I'm still not ready to face him. Besides, I've been constructing my sentence of what I'm supposed to say but the script isn't with me now, I left it in my backpack. I stare down at my feet, my eyes got watery as I couldn't hold the anxiety and tension this situation brings to me.

I take off his blazer and give it to him as an excuse to start the conversation. "Chaengi---"

"Wear it. You'll catch a cold" He says without looking at me. And the way he treats me make me cry again. While fidgeting, I try to keep silent, but I guess he heard my sobs. "You know you look ugly with that face. Ah, I don't have any mirror now." He sighs before a small smile crosses his face "Wait, camera will do" He smirks, digging out his phone then turn on the flash directly aiming my face.

I whine and jumps around to snatch his phone while he seems to have fun, taking advantage of his agile skills. "Nope, I'll keep it" He chuckles, pushing me by the chin then slip his phone back to his pocket. I groan as I let my hands hang limply by my side, glaring at him. He crosses his arms against his chest, challenging me as he too stares into my eyes.

"You know none of this wouldn't have happened if you listen to me, right?" He scolds while wiping my tears with his thumb and his hand land on my chin. I drop my gaze embarrassment, looking anywhere but him.

I nod.

"Do you regret it?"

Again, I nod

I hear him sigh and take a peek as I slowly raise my head. His face softens before he moves forward with those eyes that staring deeply into my own, it always manages to draw me closer. My breathing slowed, the tense look on my face melting into a weak smile while my body squirms just a little as my muscles relax. I haven't smell that fruity perfume of his for a long time. I just realize how badly I miss his warmth.

"Come, hug time"

He says spreading his arms and without any hesitation, I jump wrapping my arm around his neck as he catches me and holds me tight. My face sinks into his chest as if to ask him to never let go of me as if I just found the medicine that I need to survive. How I miss his embrace comforting me, that familiar sounds of heartbeat, the natural scent of him. My mind is at peace. We stay like that for a while before I ask.

"Why are you here Chaengie?"

"I-I don't bring my textbook"

"Liar"

"Haha. So, what do you want me to do to him? Stab him to death? Pulls all his joints? Shoot him? Tell me."

I chuckled upon hearing that. I know he's short-tempered and what he says is quite possible. When he said he will protect me, he actually stays true to his words and does it all these years. Sometimes, I find his over-protectiveness is unreasonable and absurd but now I see where it comes from, and I'm grateful for it. I shrug "I wish we could do that, but you know how much I hate violence and what you did already enough for me"

He pulls away, pretending to be surprised, hands-on my forearms "Huh?" He tilts his head.

"Don't act innocent. I know the reason for Mark absence today. Heard you caused him to faint.

"No, I'm not, they are exaggerating. It's only one punch. I swear"

I giggle at his statement before pulling him again, wanting another hug. And now I realize the unknown reason I'd cried and cried is because of him. I wonder how it's possible for his absence to inflict so much pain inside my chest. I'm alone. Completely, utterly alone, without him to comfort me. Thinking, of who will wipe away my tears now? Who will hold my hand? Who will surprise me with hugs from behind? Who will tell me lame jokes and mockery just to make me laugh? That I'm lack that someone who has been with me for over eight years. That same someone who promised me a forever only stayed and stood up for me.

But now, he's here, inside my arms, my best friend. Though I have been through a nightmare, there was one who rode with me all the way, who came whenever needed and who would have gladly come and stayed. Always the same person. A true friend. I guess I am luckier than most because that's real love and I love him back will all my heart, like I always did. Now, I am well-schooled in what love is, what love is not.

Perhaps,

It's not something that missing in my heart it's someone.

-to be continued-


	4. Strawberry Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Ring

Ring

I open my eyes from the restless nap, a failed attempt to divert my attention from this pain. I groan and change my position on the bed, laying on my stomach. The ninja seems to have fun stabbing my inner wall and violently ripping my abdomen. The ringing sounds linger, adding pain to my nausea and headache. I bury my head on my soft pillow whilst my hand flopped to the bedside table, searching for my phone.

"Hello" I uttered, completely uninterested.

[Mina!! Let's go to the cinema Fantastic Beast just come out]

That's my Cub chirping excitedly. I can imagine his wide grin behind the phone but I guess, it won't stay any longer. I sigh, the sudden guilt arises and sits on my chest "I want to but I can't" I murmur.

[Huh?]

"My bloody ninja come to visit for this month. My stomach hurts really bad"

[But it's a big hit movie. You'll like it!]

"You can call Tzuyu to accompany you and tell me about it later"

[Why would I go with him? I wanted to go with you. 'Cmon It'll be epic, you're a Potterhead aren't you]

"I am really not well, Chaeng-ah~" I plead cutely, dragging my soft voice to a whisper, hoping he will understand and let me go, like how he usually does.

[Alright. Bye]

"By----"

My brow arc to the beeping sound. He ends the call, even before I finish my sentence. Now, he's sulking. I shrug and place the phone back, I'll just make up to him later. Urrg I hate this thing, sometimes I hope I'm born as a man whenever this serial killer attacked. I change my position again, tossing left and right before finally curling into a ball with hands wrapping around my stomach. Soon, the ninja has taken some time for rest. I breath out slowly, it seems like forcing myself to sleep ain't working at all, hence I find myself roaming my eyes around.

My room is pretty simple, too spacious for my liking but that's fine. It mostly coloured in sky-blue and white with beautiful murals on the wall, hand-painted by the Cub himself; a dancing ballerina in a pink tutu and a tree with every colour of spring leaf imaginable. Over the headboard and some on my bedside table, smiled black and white photographs of myself as a child with my family, the Son's, of course, a bunch of pictures with my best friend.

I'm just about to fall asleep when there's a tap on my door, trying to ignore it but then it followed by a rhythmic knock. The only one who did that is none other than the Cub. Confused, I open the door then there he is in a black and red flannel tucked in his ripped jeans, holding a plastic bag. He gives me that boring look before he pushes me aside and walks himself in. I hum and close the door, trailing him.

"Chaeyoungie, how about the movie? I thought--"

"Here, didn't feel like going alone" He puts the plastic bag on my desk before he turns around to face me."Ginger tea, some fruits and--"

"Chocolate?" I cut in while squealing hard.

"Yup"

I rush towards my desk, taking out the chocolate and eat it right away. "Thanks, buddy" I smiled. He nods then sits on my bed watching me finishing all the things he had bought for me. Though my attention is fully on this snack, I could feel Chaengie's eyes rest on me not cold hostility or what but the warmth of a friend. The effect is soft and inviting. "Gosh, how am I going to eat peacefully when you keep staring at me Chaengie," I chuckle and glance at him. He is not quite smiling but tilting as if they mean to. When our eyes meet, he quickly looks away and coughs.

"You are turning like Momo noona, slow down or you'll choke," He says, fixing himself then play his phone, waiting for me. When I'm done, he takes the leftover and cleans everything although I argue that I can do it by myself but the stubborn Cub he is, keep insisting and asks me to take rest. Giving up here I am on laying on my bed staring at the ceiling before again he knocks on my door and gets in.

"It's getting late already," He says while wearing his backpack.

"You're going home?" Isn't that too quick? he doesn't stay for a long time like he usually does and we barely talk tonight. He comes to me and I'm ready for our usual goodbye greetings but instead, I'm met by a poke on my cheeks. I pout, glaring at him.

"Hum? Do you need anything else?"

Obviously, "Nothing" I murmur, he forgot about it, I guess.

"Ok then, call me when there's anything bye!" He stands and waves his hand before disappearing.

I lean against the headboard, sighing. Hah, he forgot. Now I don't feel so good

"Mina!!"

I just lost in thought when Chaeyoung suddenly barges into my room, startling me to death."Wha-What!?" I impulsively yell. He smiles and walks closer to me then sits on the edge of the bed wrapping his arms around my waist. I unconsciously grin and respond to the hug.

"You almost forgot," I scold hitting his head lightly.

"I didn't, I just want to test you" He replies laughing.

"Geez"

* * * *

"Good morning mom" I descend the staircase from the second floor and walks downstairs to the kitchen, greet my mom and getting ready for school.

"Good morning honey" My mom reply and plant a kiss on my cheeks.

"So...whats for breakfast?" I get near her smelling the scent of yeast or burnt sugar.

"Apple pie, your father had been asking me to bake it. Oh! And where's your sister? Go and wake them up, breakfast ready in a few minutes"

"I just woke them, still gettin' ready I guess, need a hand? Ah nevermind I'll burn something again"

My mom just laughs at me and asks me to prepare the table. I couldn't help but trailing my mom, trying to learn how things going. Since I still have time left, I try to bake my own pie but nahh, I just get myself dirty with all the powder and of course a burnt pie. My mom makes some awful joke about my bad cooking skill but ends up teaching me who's struggling alone, with my roll-up sleeve and high bun trying to remove the broken eggshell from the bowl.

I spend a great deal of time in the kitchen, with mom who has educated me how to use the sandstone grain mill, and mix the ingredients for various pastries and pie, and the correct way to knead the dough, and bake bread. I whisk and measure precisely based on my mom's guide, mix and match the ingredients like professional puzzles gamers.

Finally! Yeey after a few tries, I did it. Geez, that take me some time.

"Strawberry pie? Huh," My mom asks, wiggling her brows. I ignore the remark, glaring at my mom who instantly raises her hands and back off, chuckling. I avert my eyes back to the pie, smiling at myself while I decorated it with more strawberry on top. Not so long before I heard mom chirping from behind. "You're my honeybunch, sugar plum, pumpie umpy umpkim, you're my sweetie pie. You're my cuppy cake, gumdrop, snookum snookums you're..the berry of my eyes~" She sings. I snap my head to the side, witnessing my mom giggling then slowly walks away. "Aigoo, my daughter is in love and I like it"

"Mom! It's not like that okay" I whisper-yell not wanting the chatty sisters to know about this or they'll mock me every second of my day. I heard another continuous laugh from my mom that's fading away. I scoff and carefully put the pie in the fridge. Indeed, I baked it for him because he had taken care of me so.. I guess it just my way to say thanks.

After wearing my uniform, we all gather in the dining room next to the kitchen. We finished our breakfast and most of the pie ends up in Momo unnie stomach.

She really eats a lot.

"Wahhh, what is this strawberry pie! Mom why do you keep it here and not on the dining table, I almost miss i--" Momo unnie suddenly shouts as she gets to the fridge to get her soda then sees my precious pie. I choke on my food and stands.

"Unnie!!" I rush towards her and push her a bit too hard until she falls on her butt. I laugh awkwardly and take the pie, put it in a box then help Momo unnie while she keeps babbling something to me.

Well, it's her fault tho.

My sister and I bid our goodbye to mom. Dad will drive the squirrel and the big eater because they're going to the same school. While me--

"Penguin! Hurry up!"

The Cub usually will wait outside and we're going together. He sticks her head out his car window, honking honking. I got no idea why he buys the blue Toyota pickup car while his brothers buy a sports car. He said it made him look manlier and cooler, I have no comment on that.

"You should come early and have breakfast with us," My dad says walking towards his black Mercedes with unnies trailing backwards.

"I woke up late today father haha, did you watch the match last night? Liverpool won it! I'll wait for the shoe father" The Cub shouts, half celebrating. They must be putting a bet, I'm certain and dad lose it.

"Oh really! Your mother won't let me watch it till the end. He pulls out the plug haha. Send me the shoe picture, I'll buy it"

"Hahaha, thanks, father. We'll get goin' now, not wanting to get scold"

"Take care of Mina Chaeng"

Geez, does dad have to say that. I'm a grown-up girl. I can take care of myself. Besides, I'm the one who always has to deal with this childish kid.

"I will father" He replies.

* * * *

I enter the classroom with Chaeng beside me, still yawning. I take my jacket off and place it in the locker room then back to my seat. As minutes passed, more students arrive. The ceaseless buzzing of the classroom and the unlimited amount of energy the students contained increased which would be a rare sight if the class is under teacher's supervision. I glance at Chaengie who's slump down in his chair, wearing earplugs.

I tap his forearms, and pull off his left earbuds "Changie we're going to have a test, aren't you preparing?" I ask. Guess he slept late because of the match.

"I'm sleepy~~"

I'm about to say something but the teacher arrives and begin the class, as expected he really doesn't care at all. Tsk tsk. Ten minutes left before we hand our paper, Changie throws a scramble paper at me. I look at him mouthing 'what?' He smiles widely and blinks his eyes rapidly while pouting. I know what he wants.

"Which question?" I whisper

"1 to 35"

"That's everything, Chaeng"

"Huh, yeah hehe"

Thank god it's an objective question. I write the answer on a small piece of paper, fold and tuck it in my pen's clip, flick the pen towards Chaengie's table then he will pick it up as if it was his pen.

"Do you know any answer at all?" I mouthed at him who's busy jotting down.

"Yeah, my name and roll number" He whispers.

I secretly laugh trying to not make any sound. Though he's smart, he's super lazy, always said that it's tiring to use his brain for a useless exam.

The bell rings.

"That was a nice sleep, " Chaengie yawn while stretching out his arms.

"It's lunchtime, let's go!" I drag him to the rooftop where we always hang out, taking my lunch box and demand him to wait for me as I run to the cafeteria to take the pie. Google said to keep it refrigerated although they also said that it's okay for fruit pies but still just in case. I run back to the rooftop while Chaeng eyeing me weirdly.

"Why are you running like a mad person?" he asks as soon as I sit across him.

"Nothing," I shake my head, opening the lid of my lunch box, I ask "Uhm do you bring your lunch?"

Please say no

"Nope, I'm planning to bu--"

"Here" I cut in, handing the box of pie.

"Oh wow! What's this? Woah a strawberry pie!!" He quickly eats and munching it slowly then gobbles up.

"Is it okay?" I ask a bit insecure since he doesn't say anything.

"Ummmmm It's..." He drags his words then looks at me knitting his brows.

Please

Please

"Super-duper delicious"

I bite my smile, looking down as I poke my meal."If you choke I'm going to leave you," I say and try to finish the lunch that mom prepared. Delicious and tender teriyaki chicken meatballs packed along with steamed rice, ham fruits, egg, and crab salad. I love my mom but she always cooked me food beyond my capacity.

"Mother baked it? Tell her it's really tasty"

I raise my head and smile "Yeah, mom baked it. Good to know you like it"

-to be continued-


	5. Treasure Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeng is at my house, just watching baseball with dad again. Sana unnie and Momo unnie are out with the other two kids, look like they getting close these days.

"Chaengie" I call out to him.

"Yeah?" he answers with eyes still locked to the television screen.

"Wanna go out?" I ask, settling down next to him. I already completed my homework doing some revision and now I'm bored.

"I'm watching Minari, later"

"Ahhh~please~~" I whine, holding his arms as shake it. He let his body swayed left and right before he finally looks at me.

"Father! Look at her whining, please do something" He rebukes. I quickly throw a dirty look and glare at my dad, signalling him to take my side.

"Mi----" Dad press his lips then awkwardly laugh "Haha just go with her Chae, she really has her mother death stare"

"What? Urrgg alright let me go first" He says pushing me away by flicking my forehead. And that's hurt but never mind, I won't be mad since he agreed. I'll let it pass.

"Where are you going?" I ask when he suddenly stands and walks away.

"To the bathroom, Why? Wanna join?" He smirks.

I don't answer but blush crazily. He got me, geez, I hate it when it happened.

"Look at your face! It's like a toma--"  
He laughs earning a smack at the back of his head from my mom.

"Wha-? Mother~ ouch"

"Stop teasing her, " Mom says as she put the tray full of fruits on the table then sits beside me. I stick my tongue out at him who glaring at me. Dad really doesn't care and just continue watching the game. Good job dad

"And you----" Mom adds, turn around to face me

"Yeah?"

flick

Geez not again. Why? Arrgh my forehead hurts. It's exactly at the same place where chaeng flick it earlier. "Mom?! Why me?!" I cried, rubbing my forehead. I bet it's super red now.

"You already grow up. Don't force Chaeng to come with you" Mom scolds.

Seriously?!

I can see him at the corner of my eyes making stupid faces mocking me behind my mom back. I wish I could punch him and get rid of that annoying smile.

Errgh I hate him.

* * * *

I stand stoned to the view in front of me. Heat crashing down on me like an ocean of lava. I can hear the thick clanking of rides moving, the shuddering of rails and tracks, and the screams of their passengers as they are whipped around.

Theme Park.

My greatest nightmare. My eyes shiver as I snap my head to Chaengie who's paying our entrance ticket. How do we end up here? Both of us bickered about where to go until we came out with a conclusion, to play the Pop Up Pirate Barrel Roulette Game. And I lose, I'm good at games but that doesn't mean I'm lucky.

"Chaeng, I can only ride the Carousel. That's it" I noted. The Cub laughs and pushes me to enter.

My stomach fills with even more butterflies of nervousness as we approach the ride, the screams of the passengers making me want to disappear. "Come on, Pingu, let's have some fun." Chaeng nudges me in the side, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

"Yeah, fun." I breathe feeling oxygen leave my body as we walk closer to the lady with the headset. I look at the ride, raising my head up and up, and up, and up then realize, it's a freaking Drop Tower. I harshly tug Chaeng's leather jacket in panic "Are you deaf!? I said Carousel, Merry-Go-Round. What are you doing!?"

"Having fun?" He tilts his head. I scoff and starts to escape. This is ridiculous. I still wanted to live. But before I could, the lady grabs my arms and smile as she guides me to my seat. I'm speechless. Chaengie chuckles and sits next to me. I feel like I want to rip his mouth for laughing at me.

More passengers get it and the ride begins. I let out a shuddering sigh. The rumbling sounds monopoly my conscious as the gondola drags itself up with effort. I'm strapped into my seat tight but I'm still worrying. My hands tighten on the bar and my breath quickens in fear. Chaeng peek at me "It's awfully high isn't it?" He laughs nervously, no not because he's afraid of the ride but because of me. I'm sure my face has turn green.

I try not to think about what happens when we reach the top. I look around to distract yourself, and for a moment I can see an entire kingdom of laughter and food and swooping machinery, then...I feel Chaeng sneak in and intertwine our hands, giving it a little squeeze of assurance. Although my hand is trembling, I clutch at his fingers anyway. In case if I indeed fall from the gondola, I'm bringing him with me. I won't die alone!

Soon, the gondola drop. It happens so fast, all I can make out is a blur of colour. Yellow, blues, and reds stream pass me up and down as blinding speed. All I can hear are the ear-splitting screams around me. Even my own are buried in the cacophony of sound erupting from the gondola. After it's all over I hurriedly got out with a stumble and starts walking out like a drunken penguin. I crouch when my legs give in, clutching my chest as I take a deep breath.

Chaeng crouch next to me, caressing my hair. He has the expression of a father who has just lost his child, that concern and fear face. He then supports me to stands and drags my lost soul to the nearest bench. He hands me mineral water which I drink instantly. "I'm going home or I'll just watch you play" I blurt. I really start to regret asking him out, now I just want to sleep and rest after one life-threatening ride. I'd enough.

Chaeng shakes his head and lightly pinch my cheeks "No no. We'll just gonna take the light one from now on, I promise. How 'bout Carousel the one you like the most or the Ferris Wheel or Bumper Cars?"

I lift my gaze to him. It's always like this. Theme park is one of the things we are contrasted with. He likes extreme ride while I can't ride those. I'm always sorry that because of me he restrained himself from having fun. If I asked him to ride by himself while I'll just watch outside, he will refuse saying that he don't want to leave me alone in the crowded area.

"Alright, but please no more scary ride" I plead.

"No more scary ride" He smiles.

Before we go to the family theme rides he stops and hit himself, saying that he forgot to buy that. And I don't quite get what is 'that' he asks me to wait for him as he runs to nowhere then come back after a few minutes, holding a headband. Ahh, he meant a headband. He gives me one with a cat ear and a devil looking horn for him, really suits him so much. After an exhausting day, we proceed with lunch.

"So, where next?" he asks as he drinks the lemon juice he ordered earlier.

I hum then remember something "Umm, do you still remember the park we always go when we're a child?"

"Yup, let's go there then"

* * * *

After finishing our lunch, Chaeng drives us to the park where we first met. The sun is setting and there are only a few swallows left in the sky. Sitting there with my head rested on the Cub's shoulder, I finally relax staring into this beautiful act of nature. The sunset is glorious, all rosy and salmon pink.

"It's been.....ten years right?" he asks as he trails his finger at the bench, the exact bench where I once sat and cried because I lost my way.

"Yeah, time pass really fast" To count from the first time we met until now, we've been friends for over ten years and I'm glad to have him as my best friend, enemy and at the same time my younger brother.

"Say mina, do you remember the big tree?"

"Oh, the treasure box, we bury it next to the big tree and plan to dig it when we....umm" I tilt my head.

"Turns twenty-five" he cuts in.

"Yup, I'm still wondering tho what did you write in your letter? We kinda write our biggest secret right? And stuff our diary"

"Yeah, how about you? What did you write?"

"Let's find out when we turn twenty-five. Can't break the promise" I grin while snuggling closer to him.

"Hey, mina?"

"Humm" I only hummed in respond, closing my eyes, feeling the soft breeze that caresses my face.

"My dad calls me yesterday and seems like I need to go to America for a while after our graduation"

Upon hearing that I lift my head and face him with a shock expression. I mean that's so sudden and why would he go there? "W-why? When?" I ask, stuttering.

"He needs my help to sort things in his company, to be exact two months from now, I'll leave Korea. I won't be long tho" He explains smiling widely at me.

How come he just smile like that

"How long?"

"About a year?" he says avoiding my eyes.

"What?! You kidding me aren't you?" I raise my voice and watch him dropping his head but weirdly enough he lifts his chin and smirk. Anger and disappointment churned within me.

What the heck Chaeyoung?

"Why? Are you going to miss me?" He teases.

Urrgh I'm really not in a mood for this. I erupt in my furious state. I know that this feeling will pass, but while it hasn't, I'm well aware I could not function hurt or think properly now. So I escape. I stand up and walk away leaving him.

* * * *

I go home by myself riding a bus. As soon as I arrive, I climb upstairs ignoring my mom who keeps asking me about Chaeng and why am I alone. I close my room door and flop on the bed. Thinking why I am mad? Why is it a big deal to me? Geez, whatever I'll get bald if I keep reckoning about it. Then I fall into sleep as I'm thinking of not thinking around it, ends up stressing myself.

The next day, Chaeng come over my house or you can say directly to my room. Knocking my door with that familiar and annoying rhythmic knock.

"What?!" I shout with my soft voice because he just interrupts my sleep.

"Morning!! Hug time!" He suddenly pulls me into a tight hug while I'm still processing of what just happened and when I do, I quickly push him and cross my arms across my chest, throwing a glare that could melt bone.

He smiles showing his dimple and pulls a bar of chocolate from his pocket, handing it to me. I don't fall for his trap although it's a chocolate, I still don't feel like to talk to him. When he realizes his plan doesn't work, he runs downstairs without saying anything leaving me dumbfounded. After a few seconds there he is again in front of me who still wearing my pyjama because of a certain Cub. I stare at him as he gestures me to look down at what he's holding. A plate with omurice (fried rice omelette) and Heinz ketchup on top that write 'I'm sorry' I could feel my tears but quickly wipe it. I lift my head staring at him as his expression and that bright smile of his changes into a sad one.

I hold his chin and lift it as he only staring at his feet. We look at each other and I smile weakly before taking the plate and ask him to wait outside. I wash, change my clothes, open the door, hug him tight then walk to the kitchen with the omurice in hands.

We eat our breakfast at the dining table and Chaeyoungie is there too. As I'm eating the omurice my mom then tells us that Chaengie comes to our house early in the morning and asks my mom to help him cooked the omurice. I laugh and smile at him who shyly looking down in embarrassment. He then opens up about his leaving after our graduation, which definitely shook my parents.

After breakfast, Chaengie and my dad go out to somewhere while unnies keep mocking and teasing me about Chaengie. Seriously, for the nth time, I'm repeating my words that there's nothing between us but this squirrel and this big eater couldn't stop but to laugh at me.

I really have an annoying sister.

I only shake my head and backfired them using Tzuyu and Hyun, surprisingly they shut their mouth and smiling shyly. There's definitely something between them. I laugh at them then continue playing my games.

-to be continued-


	6. Second Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Tomorrow is the graduation day. Finally! After years I survive high school. As the day be my stepping stone to the real world. This is what they've been preparing for. After twelve memorable years. Through the good, bad, idiotic, fun and change. It is finally time to rest from studying every simgle minutes I wasn't earning or in class Time to step out into that bright light, shake the hand of an administrator and grab the ticket to freedom.

I'm a bit excited to start college life and kinda miss some of the teachers. I got second place on the final exam and I'm quite not satisfied with it, don't ask me who got first place.

Now, is 11.56 p.m few minutes before I officially end my high school life. Unnies already finished high school last year leaving me alone. Can't believe I'm nearly eighteen, I'm old. Arrghhh! I wanna be eight again I don't want to be adult. It's scary.

Since something is just wrong with me now, feeling a mix of sad, happy and excited that somehow preventing me to fall asleep, I go to Sana's unnie room and asks her if I can sleep with her, but nahh we ends up calling Momo unnie and gathering in my room talking, laughing, eating snack and just spend time telling each other our secret and everything.

"Sana unnie, are you and Tzuyu dating?" I asks Sana Unnie who's stretching her neck by hanging over the bed, but quickly sits straight facing me. I guess the question caught her off guard.

"Umm, kinda?" She hesistantly answer. Why does it sound like a question?

"What do you mean by 'kinda'?" Momo I unnie interrupts. She's lying on the mat with her head resting on my lap, while I'm feeding her snacks. If she's choking, not my fault I already warn her.

"I like him and he knows that but It feels like he is still unsure with his feelings and we just got into a fight last weeks, he hasn't reply any of my messages and I........ just gives up already" Sana unnie sigh.

From what I observed, Tzuyu surely likes Sana unnie so what's the problem and clearly, everyone in this world can notice my sister feelings towards Tzuyu, it's cutely obvious.

"Fight? Why? What happened?" Asked the big eater

"Just some misunderstanding, I umm there's this one guy named Eunha and he confesses to me the other day when I'm waiting for Tzuyu outside his school, of course I reject him but I feel guilty because he treats me nicely and somehow we get close but for me it's no more than just a friendship" Sana unnie starts to cry and her voice cracked, I hurriedly go to her and hug her to comfort my older sister, she really a softhearted person.

"And he suddenly kissed me one time and because of that I kinda mad at him but he already apologize, I forgive him but the next day Tzuyu just ignored me and asked me to get away because seeing me makes him feels disgusted and mad" She sobs harder gripping my arms tightly until it hurts, momo unnie joins us and then it becomes a group hug with all of us crying. We muffled our voice, don't want fo be heard by our parents.

Why would he feels disgusted and mad if he doesn't share the same feelings, that just so stupid. I advise Sana unnie that Tzuyu might still need time that he just confused and it will be better if they separate for awhile giving him space to think it through and when the time comes he will definitely reach her first. Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

After Sana unnie cried her heart out, we laugh at how funny our face looks like and how we cried like a child. The topic then switches to Momo unnie.

"So, how about you Momo-ya, is it okay between you and Dahyun?" Sana unnie asks, still sniffling then rest her head on my shoulder. Momo unnie sits on my study chair, hugging her knees.

"Honesty is the problem here" she answers while munching slowly the chips.

"He always lied to me. Although we're in a relationship I don't think he actually trusts me" she adds.

"Did he lied about anything?" I asks furrowing.

"I found a box in his drawer full with a picture of the same person with him smiling, and when I asked about it, he told me that it was his cousin and I believe him, but............but..........I..I met the girl one day and stupid me I called her as Dahyun's cousin, she then laughs at me and said that she was Dahyun's ex-girlfriend. Of course that day, I met him and we got into a big fight until now we didn't talk to each other" Momo unnie says between her sob and quickly wipe her tears acting tough. I pull out my arms calling her to come over and here we are sitting beside each other with both of their head rest on my shoulder while I'm in the middle.

I sigh in defeat thinking that both of my beloved sisters having trouble with their relationship. Maybe it's better to stay single forever, like me. One heartbreak is enough two? I don't think so. I'm still in the process of gluing back my heart that broke because of a jerk who cheated on me.

"You know Momo unnie, I think there must be a reason why he lied to you, I mean a good reason. Do you listen to his excuses the day you fight?" I asks then shake my head when Momo unnie don't answer me.

"See, at least listen to him. Give him a chance to explain himself, and you need to trust him, your relationship won't go anywhere if you miss that aspect. As for now, I think both of you just use your time to think it through and do what the best you think for you and your partner. Don't be like me" They both nod at my advice.  
I started to feel like a master of love, can't believe I say that. Wise words from someone who is cheated on. Haha.

"Well, Mina, How things for you and Chaeng?" Sana unnie starts.

"Humm" That's the only response I could give.

"I mean do you see him more than a friend, you know you can be honest with us" she adds, hinting something. I don't know where this conversation will lead bit one for sure, I'm not ready for it.

"I-I don't know" I answer.

"Really?" Momo unnie butt in.

"Yeah, I don't think we can be more than a mega best friend, I like how things between us right now," I state.

"But, next after a mega best friend is a boyfriend, I really want you guys to be together," Says momo unnie.

"Are you afraid Mina? I can sense it you know" Sana unnie lift her head and stare at me.

"I-I don't know" Do I, am I actually afraid to be more than a friend to Chaengie. Maybe I do. Love is much more complicated than it seems and I don't want those things called love, break something that I value the most, friendship. I'd seen and experienced what romantic love could do to you and I can come out with one conclusion; Friendship is better then relationship. It feels safer and less at stake, beautiful then demanding.

"Let's say, you don't like him, but what about Chaeng?" Momo unnie speak up. I woke up from my trains of thoughts and just sigh.

"No, I don't think he ever sees me in that kind of way" I answer.

"Seriously!?" They yells in unison startling me to death. I signal them to keep it quite because we don't want to wake our parents. They obligate and instantly cover their mouth. They divert their attention back on me, staring deeply. Momo unnie click her tongue while Sana unnie shakes her head.

"You're so hopeless and even dumber than Momo," Sana unnie says after a very awkward silence as I'm still wondering why are they shouting like that and worse, just behind my ear.

"Wha-why me" Momo unnie protest.

"Are you only acting or just a fool or just a very very oblivious girl?" Sana unnie faced me ignoring Momo unnie.

"Eh?" I tilt my head.

"It's not my place to say anything but just try to be more alert and understanding Mina-ya" she adds. I'm always aware of my surrounding. What does she mean by that? I tries to get answers by asking them but no one seems to tell me anything.

After another hour talking and gossiping, all of us drift to dreamland on my bed. I wake up again, checks the time that shows 3.56 a.m. I turn around seeing my sisters still asleep. While me, I just can't stop thinking about what Sana unnie says earlier.

Chaengie's feelings towards me. It can't be, he never sees me more than a friend right.

Or on second thought does he?

-to be continued-


	7. Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Oh Mina you're wearing red too," Said the Cub. The graduation already over and now we're getting ready for prom night and he's in my house waiting for me to get ready. I clutch my purse as I walk to the living room and examine him. My

"When did you start wearing red?" I ask staring at him looking confident and ummm stunning.

"I like red"

"No, you don't"

"I really like red"

"Go and change! We can't go like this" I complaint. He's wearing a solid red suit with a plain white shirt and black bow tie. Exactly match my red dress.

He scoffs in disbelief "Why should I change? You should instead!"

"I'll take time!" I need another hour if that happens.

"Nope, you change"

"You change!"

"You"

"Chaengie change!!!!"

"Arrggh. Fine! You better ready when I arrived" He groans, going back home to change his clothes. I chuckle at my winning. I get myself some soda while waiting for him. Soon, he arrives wearing a black tuxedo with a navy vest and tie. I like this one more actually. *cough*

"Mom, we'll get going" I reach my mom and kiss her forehead. My parents also getting ready because they will be having a dinner and reunion party with their friends then spend the night in grandma and grandpa house. While my sisters already went out with their friends too.

* * * *

The Prom night starts off with dinner at a luxury hotel arranged by a professional organisation. I start my entrance into the dance with my date and we greet people as we walk through to the ballroom. I can see some of my classmates who swap their school uniform for an elegant evening dress and high heels. Boys that are usually only seen in jeans and trainers when not at school dress up in a suit with a tie and smart shoes.

I don't dance because I injured my ankle this morning after my ballet class, that's why I wear kitten heels. I ask Chaeng to find someone else to date and dance with him but he refuses and suggest us to play lego on the round table. I can't believe he actually brings a small box of lego house sets where he hides in Hyun's car. So, here we are, completing it together instead of dancing the light and soft musical pieces.

For about two hours, we finally finished it and so far I'm having a night that I'm satisfied with except that I can't dance. At 11:00 pm, an administrator speaks on the microphone and says that it's the time for the prom court king and queen to be announced. I'm nominated as on one of the queen but I refuse, excusing myself with my injury while actually, I don't fancy standing on the stage with all eyes on me, it makes me nervous. Chaeng is also nominated, he wanted to refuse too but I force him to join the line-up. Defeated, he gives me that annoying face then walks to the stage.

"First, Willow High School's prom king... Son Chaeyoung!" The administrator says. I grin and claps my hands as I watch him be given a crown and sash that he will have to wear and receive a gift which is a French Bordeaux red wine. I find it funny because Chaeng doesn't drink not even wine, he has a really low tolerance for alcohol. Everyone cheered, it's not a surprise actually. Chaeng is really popular around the school. The average funny, cool, perfect looking guy you see on the television. He looks at my direction, I can sense him internally screaming at me for forcing him to join the nominees. He then sits on the throne while the queen is crowned. I think her name is Sakura, my fellow Japanese.

The king and queen pose together for the official prom photographer to take a photo of them. Then they both make a short speech thanking the staff members or organizing committee for putting on the prom, and acknowledge the vendors like the DJ and the hotel that is hosting the event.

After the ceremony officially ended. The music starts to change from classical to EDM. It's as loud as thunder that made the cutlery on the tabletops rattle. Neon lights flashed everywhere like police sirens, but much more colourful. It's getting to wild for me to handle, people are dancing crazily, shouting mindlessly.

Chaengie who's talking to his friends excuses himself and walks to me then lean into my ear "Wanna go home?" He whispers. I nod my head.

Soon, we arrive at my house and I rush to my bedroom to change into comfortable clothes, my penguin onesie since it's now eleven sharp. While Chaeng gets himself a glass of water."Are you leaving?" I ask him as he takes his car keys that sit on the dining table.

"Yeah, Oh! you're alone right? Are you going to be fine?" he raises his brow as he wears his dark brown shoes.

"I'm fine"

"You know, If you ask me to stay. I will" he states staring at me as I look down playing with flippers.

"I'm okay," I say. Yeah, nothing could go wrong right?

"O-Okay. I'm just saying but the other day when I slept in the living room watching football with father. I caught something like a black figure standing beside the stairs, so you know be car-------"

"Ya--yah. Don't scare me" I jump out and I held his arms tightly, looking around the living room.

"Say it"

"Eh?"

"Say it mina ya"

"Umm........stay........please," I say almost like a whisper.

"What? Didn't hear you"

This guy really. Urrgh. I swallowed my pride "Stay, please~" I mimic cutely. Bye pride.

"Okay, " He smiles and walks back inside, rest himself on the couch. He then asks me if I can cook because we don't have a proper meal for dinner. So, I cook a simple dish, ramyeon. He goes to one of the guestrooms or you can call it his room because he always stayed here, he has some spare clothes there and everything he needs. We finish our food after he complaining about me being bad at cooking but end up eating all of it. Geez.

We finish the meal and get ready to sleep. Both are in our respective room. I turn in the light bud keep my table lamp glowed soft orange. Sleep pooled on my eyelids as I'm slowly drifting to dreamland, but why? Why!? Is it have to rain. Even thunder. THUNDER. I quickly shit my eyes hides under the blanket, flinch with each thunderous boom. I'm washed by sweat, cold and frightened, even the night is encroaching quickly, adding to the gloom. Unconsciously shriek with every flashing light finding myself crying. With each tense breath, I force herself not to hyperventilate. The key to this is preventing the fear escalating into an all-out panic.

"Mina?"

Soon, I feel a pair of hands wrapping around my waist, back hugging me. Startled, I quickly wanted to turn around but stop when I heard Chaengie's voice, that deep and hoarse voice soothing me. I sigh in relief, a hug of strong arms that tells me he's with me and will protect me. My human shield.

"You still afraid of thunder huh? I won't do anything. Don't be so tense. Or should I go?" He removes his arms but I caught it and shake my head. Placing it back around my waist. The feel of his body so close to mine soothed me more than I ever expected. We stay like that for a while before he starts to speak again.

"Mina, do you remember when I said I'll go to America"

I nod.

"Looks like I have to go early than expected........... This Monday" he adds My eyes widen as I turn my body to face him. He only smiles at me, a sad smile. I want to scold him and get mad but it's not his fault and we already talk about this. So, arguing just a waste of time. I sigh and cuddle closer to him smelling his scent as I bury my face into the crook of his neck. Without realizing I'm crying again as he stroke my hair calming me down. We stay silent and he held me tighter. I think he also cries because I feel water drop on my forehead. With that, we fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * * *

"Chaeng?" my mom call out to him who's playing Go with dad in the living room while me, I'm watching my favourite cartoon. Pingu pingu~~tot tot. It's Saturday, so he spends his time here instead of going out with his brothers or friends. Unnies is in the cinema, they wanted to tag me along but I refuse why? The timing is not right.

"Yes, mother?" Chaeng answers.

"You'll be going tomorrow right? Why so early?"

"Yes, I don't really know the detail about it. Dad only called me and asked if I can get there as soon as possible"

"Have you packed your stuff?"

"Later tonight. Why mother?"

"Let me help you to pack your things. I also want to see my other two sons. They don't come here lately. Is there anything wrong?" My mom asks as she sits beside me. Seriously mom. How come you not notice the reason? of course, because of two brilliant daughters.

"They just a bit busy" Chaeng reasoned. I wonder if he knows what is going on with Tzuyu, Hyun and unnies. I spare him a glance, Nah I don't think he knows anything. He looks stupidly clueless "Are you coming, mother?" He asks.

"Yes, wait for me let me change first then we'll get going"

"Okay"

My mom walks to her room while I laugh at Chaengie. He surely has no idea what he just got into. "Chaengie...haha you doomed," I giggle. He still doesn't get it and just look at me with a furrowed brow.

"What do you mea-- Oh shit!!"

"Don't curse son." Dad interrupts.

"Sorry, father. Umm, I need to go the washroom haha" he says awkwardly then runoff. I shake my head and divert my attention back to the shows.

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
"Please pick it....pick it up Hyung" Chaeyoung keep biting his nails as he calls his older brother.

[Chae?!]The other line answers.

"Dahyun Hyung!! What?! Why is it so loud. Lower down the volume Hyung!! Don't disturb our neighbours! For nth time!" Chaeyoung shout-whisper not wanting Mrs Myoui to caught him. He waits until it is dead silence.

[Okay okay. Now what?]

"Listen, mother will come and if she sees our house condition. We'll be dead meat. Please clean the house and just do anything, please. I don't want to die so soon."He pleads.

[Wait what?! She always visits by the end of the month. Why so sudden!?]

"Just.....Hyung stop talking and start cleaning the house. I'll try to steal time so better get it done before we arrive" Chaeng ends the call when he heard Mrs Myoui calling for him. He then drives Mrs Myoui to their apartment. The Cub stares intently as they stand in front of his apartment's door. He gulps and pushes the bell.

"Chae, why are you ringing the bell?" Mrs Myoui asks.

"Ah, hahah I just like the sound of it" He nervously laughs and presses the bell again "ing~ ring~" He sings. Chaeyoung hopes that the sound warns his brothers that they have arrives and the brothers are prepared enough.

"You're acting so weird. Come on" Mrs Myoui enters the passwords code and drag Chaeyoung inside the house as he calls for the other two kids.

"Oh! Mother! So sudden?" Dahyun panted as he pulls Mrs Myoui into a hug so does Tzuyu.

"You silly kids. Why is it hard for me to see both of you these days." Mrs Myoui scolds as she pats Dahyun head. "Wait? Is that" Mrs Myoui adds as she gets near to something that half shown under the couch. Chaeyoung quickly picks it up putting it inside his pocket claiming it his handkerchief.

Mrs Myoui has that suspicious look but then shrug it off "Alright. I bet you haven't eaten right?" said Mrs Myoui as she walks towards the kitchen after examining the house. It looks clean like super clean and she only nods her head and praising them.

"Tell me, who owns this?" Chaeyoung gritted his teeth and turns to his Hyungs, keeping his voice low. He lifts the 'handkerchief' he picked earlier and shows it to his brothers.

"Haha. Me?" Dahyun raises his hand while laughing awkwardly.

"Why would your boxer be in the livin---"

"Son!" Mrs Myoui shout from the kitchen

"YES!!" they answer in unison and rush towards their mother.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------

We're at the airport in the afternoon. All of us. The entire place is buzzing with people. Outside the airport, there are cars and taxis. People are rushing around with huge suitcases and bags. It feels really awkward because of these four. They didn't talk to each other but just stealing glances.

We enter the building and find seats. Talking about random, while I'm here still consumed by sadness. Soon, a man appears that Chaeng quickly recognize. The man bows and gestured him. The Son's stored their private hangar in this airport same as us. Chaeng turns to us and smile  
"My flight. I need to go" He start hugging my parents and my unnies, but notice the glare Tzuyu and Dahyun thrown to him. He just cluelessly grins while I'm holding my laugh.

"And to my best friend" He hugs me tightly and we stay for few minutes before I pull out because he needs to go. He takes my hand checking whether I'm wearing the bracelet. I never take it off after we fight because of it. He reaches my face and wipes the tears that I don't notice falling. Geez, why am I crying again? But he really going to leave. For the first time, he will not be there for me anymore, beside me. Please let this be the first and last.

"Umm, Mina?" he calls still holding my hands as he looks down.

"Humm," I sobs.

"I have something to tell you"

"Yeah?"

"I......I actually"

He let out a heavy and long sigh before he met my eyes then smiling showing his deep dimple.

"Nothing. I'll tell you when I'm back"

We bid our last goodbye before he enters the gate and left.

What is it you want to tell me Chaengie?

-to be continued-


	8. Engaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

It's been seven months Chaengie, another three months of waiting. I already start my college life majored in Biology and Chemistry, minored in Art. Everything is good as for now, I met a lot of friends, I like my study, the lecturer here is fine. But it just Chaengie and I never contact each other. No, HE never contacts me, ignoring my video call, messages, and everything. Did he forgot about me, I tried to stay positive that maybe, maybe he just too busy. We only talk for the first month, then he just disappeared. I'm mad but deep down I'm worried, what if something happened to him. Is he got into an accident? No! Stop thinking nonsense mina-ya, he's probably just lost his phone or something.

I've asked Tzuyu and Dahyun about this but they just said that he's super busy and even they rarely can reach him.

I have always loved him with devotion and purity; I have in mind that our friendship would last forever, he will always be next to me. Then he leave. There is hole, an emptiness where he has been. Being away from him made me realize it's never the physical love which made it special, it is something different - a connection between two souls.

As I am surrounded by different people, tasks, I still feel his presence, his smile, his silliness. I'm never with him but find myself with him all the time. Everything in my room reminded me of him and I would borrow his clothes from the guest room just to smell his fruity scent. I missed him.

"Mina?"

I blink and all those thoughts dissapears like a smoke with no trace. I lift my gaze, witnessing Jihyo's unnie worry expression as she settle next to me, leaning against the wall of the dance practice room."You're dozing off again, something bothering you?" She ask.

"Ah, no, nothing" I sigh divert my attention to the group of dancers in front of me, walking around while calling names "What's the occasion?" My brows raise.

"The coach said, he'd arranged the pairing for the musical project. Unfortunately, my pair him " She boringly points to a guy having a rap battle while his friend cheered. I laugh at the sight.

I nod and ask "Who's my pair agai---"

"Myoui Mina?"

I flich when I heard my full name uttered. We both look to the source of that deep and low voice and sees a guy wearing a black and white strips sweatshirt, black ripped jeans and a black hat, covering half of his face. He take off his cap and smiles at me. Ah, I know this person.

He's known for his funny nature and kind. The clown of the class. But it isn't what makes him popular, well set aside his good looking feature, he's famous because of his background. That guy who always throw jokes everywhere had finished law school and earn a prestigious law degree at the edge of twenty. No one notice this at first, everyone sees him as a normal art student but the kids from the Faculty of Law immediately recognized him. There is article about him being one the youngest lawyer that earned their law degree. He owes his success to his mother, a fellow lawyer and father, a High Court Judge.

Everyone including me wonder what is he doing here, taking Art instead of starting his own law firm. When asked, he only said he's bored with law and wanted to explore the art world. What a pity to that degree. Jihyo's unnie boyfriend is his teammates, so we'll always go out together. I can say he's that kind of friend that's not 24/7 with you but will be there if you need him. Unlike usual, my inteoverted self opened up to him easily. I think it's bacause his presence is inviting. Then I realize, the one thing that drawn me to this guy is his resemblance to him. The way he laugh, his lame jokes, his stunt, his childish act, they somehow look a like.

So, he's my pair huh?

I reciprocates the smiles and nod my head. He take off his cap and show me a piece of paper that contains our names and a song title "We'll have to sing" He remarks, sitting beside me while Jihyo unnie is long gone and now is with her boyfriend.

"Let's go to the practice room, it's quiter there." I state, standing up. I know he could play guitar and even a better singer than me. He agree and carry his guitar with him as we head to the music practice room located in the second floor.

"Are you alright? You look spiritless" He says as we climb the stair. I just smile and thanks him for the concern. We settle in and I look back at the piece of paper, so we have to perform Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. We listens to the song first and divide parts. He'll also make his own tabs for the song to play with his guitar. We  
dont start to sing right away, but more like experimenting. Trying to know the song and get comfortable with it. We spend a good time together, like I said he has that inviting warmth that makes you feel relax plus his humour is one killing your stomach. I really enjoyed his company.

The bell rings and we end our discussion. "So, I'll meet you at the River Café? Wednesday morning?" He ask as we pack our things.

"Yup" I nod and we walk downstairs, through the hallway. "Then I'll see ya later, Jeong Oppa" I wave as we reach the parking lot.

"Okay. Mina, I don't know what happen but don't think too much, you'll get old" Jeongyeon Oppa teases as he jump to his car. I only laugh and turn on the ignation, waves at him before I drives away. My smile mantained on my face. He does sounds like him.

* * * *

Before I step inside my house, I stop in front of the mailbox. Thought of whether I should open it, although there is never any letter sens to me---I know because I've been checking it out every single day hoping for a letter from a certain someone. But today, I don't. I walk pass it, go straight to my bedroom, wash, get changes and force myself to sleep.

"Mina-yah how about dinner?"

I heard a voice and lazily open my eyes seeing Sana unnie peaking his head inside through my bedroom door.

"I'm full," I state in almost a whisper.

"You're bad at lying. I'll bring food here then we'll talk okay"

I sigh at her persistent self. Unnies know me better, they always well aware of me, know if I'm having or facing any problem and I'm not sure whether to call it a bless or a curse because I don't want them to know and I don't want to talk about it. I feel somehow insecure, uncomfortable and embarases. Soon after, she's back with a tray and lock the door as she enter.

"So, what is it?" Sana unnie ask as she sits on my study chair putting the tray of food on the bedside table.

"Nothing, I said I'm full. I don't want to eat" I get up and sits straight, leaning against the headboard.

"Nope. I won't leave until you eat or talk about it. For your own good. Choose" She threatens, raising her brows. She sigh after a prolong silence then sits across me on the bed. "Is it because you can't reach Chae? He's a busy person Mina ya. Don't act like a child and be moody because he's not answering your call, besides you are not his girlfriend or wife" Sana unnie add. Slapping me with hard truth.

"I'm...... His best best friend unnie. At least a text would be enough. A single text saying he's fine or he's doing good because---" I bable defending myself.

"Because you're worried? Look Mina ya. Let me ask you for the last time, are you really see him as your best friend. No more than that? Cuz your action against your word. " Sana unnie cut in.

Chaengie. Do I see him more than a friend? Even if I do he's not, so what's the point of my feelings. In the end, it will just hurt both of us. I'm afraid. Really. For now, I don't want to think about relationships. I'm happy as of how I am with Chaengie right now. I don't want to take the risk. What is so wrong about worrying your friend well-being? Why do everyone keep doubting our relationship? It can a treasuring, heart-warming and beautiful friendship instead of romantic relationship. Why do everyone keep romanticise us? With him as my friend, we'll always stay beside each other. That would be better.

"Yes" I answer.

Sana unnie sighs and shakes her head before she stands. She hugs me and said to not take it to the heart for what she just said and asks me to mull over it. Leaving the food untouched, I fall sleep after staring at my bracelet for God knows how long.

* * * *

"Momo unnie, have you settle things with Dayhun?" I asks Momo unnie who's not bothering to answer but just eating her chips. Today's Tuesday, we have no class so here we are just staying at the house watching Netflix. I sits nest to Sana unnie on the couch, still staring weirdly at the eater maniac.

"Hello?" I adds, waving my hand in front of Momo unnie's face, trying to grab her attention but to no avail.

"Leave her alone for a while. She's probably dreaming about something nice, or should I say, someone." Sana unnie butt in and giggles at her statement.

"Why? What happened?" I ask furrowing.

=====================

|Flashback|

"Momo noona! Listen to me first." Dahyun held Momo's wrist stopping her from walking away. Dahyun waited in front of Momo's college because he never had a chance to talk to her and today he's determined to end everything.

"I don't think we can do this anymore" Dahyun said in a low voice. Momo's eyes widened. she was not able to hold back her tears anymore. Without turning to face him, she calmed herself and tried to sound normal.

"So, you wanna break up? I'm fine with it" Momo said successfully without cracking her voice. She pushed Dahyun's hand that clasped her wrist then walked away. Biting her lips not wanting him to hear her sobs.

"No! Wait! Noona!" Dahyun ran and chased after her. Stopping her by back hugging. "Can't you listen to me first. That's not what I meant. What I'm trying to say is, let's make it official. Our relationship." He panted still back hugging Momo and catching his breath from the running earlier. He tigthened his grip when Momo tried to free awat.

"What do you mean? " Momo asked, standing stiff.

"In the past months, I realized I can't lose you. So, I make a conclusion-----" Dahyun held Momo's shoulder and turned her around to meet his eyes. They stared at each other before Dahyun continued his words.

"Let's get engaged"

"Eh?"

====================

"Hontou? Shinjirarenai" I exclaim, glancing at Momo unnie. I stare as if she has just produced a rhinoceros from her pocket, truly atonished. Seriously! Hyun got some gut. Isn't it too early?

"Too early isn't it?"

Woah, Sana unnie just read my mind. "Y-yeah. They've been in relationship only for two years? but together since we were young. I believe, they know what they are doing. I'm happy for them. So, is it the reason she's like that, chewing the same chips for half an hour." I grimace. She must be conflicted right now because it's too sudden.

For me, I approve it. I've seen them all those years, they might not each other first love but their are each other true love. If I'm not mistaken, Hyun was on a serious relationship once before Momo and I'm not sure how they ended up separated or what had happened. As for Momo unnie, her first love was everyone crush back on junior high school but since the day Hyun surprised her with a pre-ordered cake with whale theme, she had her eyes on him. They are friends some time. I've see how they puts other's first, each treasures the other above themselves. They don't hold another back, they aspire one other to new heights while always being there to catch after falls, pick the other up, set them back on the road to success and happiness. Hyun is the only one who could actually understand Momo unnie in every circumstances because that kid something speak no human language.

Sana unnie laugh "Yup. Thinking about her wedding day, I guess"

"How about dad. Does he knows?" I ask, wondering about Dad's reaction.

"Yup. Dahyun went and asked for permission from dad and mom if they agree with the engagement that day before he met Momo. He's a good guy." Sana unnie explains. It seems like unnie also approving this. I secretly smile.

"Ah.. anyhow, how about my SatZu couple?" I wigggle my brows in a teasing way. There must be something good happened for them, right?

"You just combine our name, are you affected by Chaeng lame humor?" She fired back

"Don't change the topic" I says in a stern voice. She sighs and lay on my lap before she speaks up. I caress her hair, waiting.

"It didn't turn good, really"

=====================

|Flashback|

[Is she's okay. Did she eat well? How about study? Did she meet someone? Did she forget about me? ]

"Hyung, Stop calling me every single day questions about her. Why would you ask me all this when you can ask her directly. What the hell are you thinking? Why don't you call her or pick up her call at least? I know you're busy but stil---"

[Are you going to answer me or not]

"No. She's waiting for freaking six  
months for a ring from you. It's your punishment, wanna know about her. Talk to her yourself. I'll end the call"

[Yah! Tzu-]

Tzuyu ended the call. He knew he was sounding rude but it was for his brother's own good. It was so frustrating to watch Mina and his brother separated by that barrier called friendship. From what he thought the only way for them to sort things out is to break that friendship that they valued the most. But that's impossible.

He sat on the couch sighing, planning to have fun with his friends but something kept bugging him or more likely someone so he cancelled the plan and stayed home instead.

Knock

Knock

He rolled his eyes, lazily get up from his comfortable position to open the door, seeing his noona behind the door."Sa-na noona" he said stuttering. It had been months they last saw each other.

"C-can we talk," Sana said looking down. Even by seeing his face only, she can't stop her tears from flowing.

"Come in," Tzuyu said before walking back inside. He was trying to not show how nervous is him right now. He expecting to receive a yell for what he had done, ignoring his noona even the harsh words he had said before.

"I'm sorry for what had happened. But its really not what you think, Eunha and I really only a friend." Sana said as soon as she reached the living room. She badly wants to explain herself although she I'd it know why she had to do that.

Friends?! You're joking

"Yeah. Friends right. That kind of friend that's going around kissing? Is that what you mean?!" Tzuyu half shouting when he faces Sana. At this moment, he was pissed about what Sana just said.

"Please.....believe me," Sana said pleading. Without her notice, Tzuyu ran towards her pulling her waist, caught her by the arms and capturing her lips. His kiss was so sudden and fierce that Sana almost falls down by the impact. She didn't move but standing stiff still shocked from what just happened, not responding to the kiss her eyes widen feeling like her heart could burst anytime. Then he was gone. She stared at him, incredulous, then pushed the incident to the back of her mind. She quickly covered her mouth gasping for air.

"What? Friends right?" Tzuyu said smirking though his eyes said differently. Sana still processing the intention and reason behind the kiss and when she finally understood, she lifted her hand slowly and slapped him across the face as hard as she could, not minding the stinging pain that spread through her palm. Tzuyu expected that coming and he was ready for it.

"Why are you acting like this! Why are you doing this to me?! Why Tzuyu!" Sana yelled back walking closer to him, hitting Tzuyu chest weakly as she cried harder. The pain she felt was unbearable. She can't control her feelings of sad and mad, the emotions are just overwhelming, It was even harder for her to catch her breath. The things she can do now is to cry and cry for nonstop.

Tzuyu pushed Sana's hand that griping his shoulder making Sana slowly fall on her knees. He left without a word leaving Sana crying alone hitting her chest rapidly hoping the pain will soon fade.

It's always like this. I'm the bad one and you're too nice

=======================

* * * *

Ding

Dong

"Who's that? Do you invite someone honey?" Mrs. Myoui asked her husband which he responded by shaking his head.

"I'll get it, mother" Tzuyu said standing up from the dining table.

"H-hyung"

-to be continued-


	9. Third Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Today is November 9, Yeah someone's birthday. So, here we are celebrating it just us, we don't make like a big party but just a simple dinner and a cake of course. Definitely, Dahyun is here bringing a bouquet of flower with him for her fiance, while Tzuyu refuses to come saying he's busy but my mom successfully kidnaps him and bring him here. Serve him right. After I heard what he had done and said to Sana unnie, I'm a pissed penguin. I mean, he just stole a kiss without her permission and it's not right. I like Tzuyu, it's not like I hate him but he's just so complicated and it's hard to read his expression, he somehow has the same personality like me, so I'm sure he's hiding something...his feelings?

All of us sitting at the dining table having our dinner with Sana unnie and Tzuyu sits across each other while I'm sitting on Sana unnie's left, in the middle of her and my mom. Thank goodness, Hyun is here to light up the mood, he's been talking nonstop with my parents. Then there's me, a living statue, I really can't with these couples. The one is raising while the other one doomed. I notice Tzuyu keep stealing glances at Sana unnie and she's able to appear completely emotionless. That's what everyone will see. Little did you know, she's trembling inside, maybe she wants to cry. And how do I know? Because I'm holding her hand just below the table to comfort her.

When Tzuyu just about to say something and I'm paying attention at him because after three hours he's finally going to open his mouth....but get interrupted when the bell ring. Geez.

"Who is it? Do you invite someone honey?" Mrs Myoui asks her husband which he responded by shaking his head.

"I'll get it, mother," Tzuyu says standing up from the dining table.

I'm not interested in who is it, so I just continue eating my food.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
"H-hyung"

I lift my head as soon as Tzuyu's words reach my ear.

Hyung? Hyung. Wait Chaengie?

I avert my eyes to Tzuyu who's coming back and the guy standing behind him. Tzuyu moves to the right, revealing Chaengie smiling at us wearing a dark green shirt and black khaki pants.

I blink a few times making sure it's not a stupid dream or my stupid imagination. I could feel my heartbeat fast and my breathing becomes heavier just then I realize it really him. My parents are shocked by the sudden appearance. I mean who wouldn't? After almost a year, without any news from him but now he's here just like that. They hug each other and he congrats to Hyun and gives Momo unnie her present. I still eyeing him until now from the moment he comes in. He meets my eyes and greets me like he's normally done. I'm upset.

"Hey, Mina~" He walks closer, stands behind the chair I sit on and slowly wrapping her arms around my neck, resting his chin on my left shoulder. I don't answer him but just fixing myself and eats my food. He awkwardly laughs then sits beside Tzuyu while my mom serves him a meal.

"So, what's with the weird beard?" Tzuyu asks. Although I'm not looking at him at the moment, I noticed that. Why doesn't he shave it? Is there no one taking care of him? Judging by his look, he gets more skinner. Does he eat well?

"I'm just a bit busy. Besides, I'll shave it tomorrow" He replies.

Are you that busy?! Until you forgot how to send messages?! To take care of yourself? Is it work that keep you busy or something else?!

I realized he's not eating but stare at me the whole time until I finished my food and walk upstairs.

"She means well" I could hear you dad.

"No, she doesn't" He sigh.

I heard mom telling him to chase after me, and he apologizes before start to calls me. I don't stop and slam my bedroom door right in front of his face. I don't know why we keep getting into fights lately, although it never stay long and I know this one is not an exception. I'm standing leaning against the door, breathing out a heavy sigh. Before I get to my bed there's a card sliding below the small gap between the floor and my bedroom door. I take it where it says, 'Hug time? T. T"

I could feel the corner of my mouth slide upwards, not responding I let myself fall and sits cross folded on the floor, leaned against the door. I bang my head on the door lightly as a reply and he knows what it means. He does the same thing, and I'm waiting for his explanation.

"I'm sorry, I..... Just have lots of work"

There's no response, nothing. We just stay like that for a couple of minutes, no sound but only laugh and voices from downstairs echoing the house.

I sigh and stands from my position then open the door in one swift, making him fall bumping hard on the floor. I smile and he chuckles slowly and warmly, a crook little laugh match his crook little smile. I squat as he stays lying on the floor, I reach his cheeks pinching it hard as he growls making ugly faces with his pursed lips. I release my hand and giggles as he rubs both his cheek with closed eyes, tears falling down and sniffles like a kid.

"It hurtssss~"

Maybe I pinched too hard...

I smooth his hair to the side of his face exposing his forehead. I bend down and leave a long peck on it. I pull out and stand which he does the same. He looks at me touching his forehead where I leave a visible mark because of my lipstick.

He doesn't say anything neither I did. We only stare at each other then he gives me a smile that seems genuinely sweet with the right touch of shyness that somehow warms me. He spread his arms while shrugging a bit asking for a hug, I walk closer and hug him tight.

"I miss you," He says.

"I don't"

He only chuckles on my reply before pulling me closer smelling my natural jasmine scent. "Do you want to go out this Sunday?" He asks.

"Are you asking me on a date? " I tease him

"Haha, umm maybe"

"Well, I also want to ask something, so alright. But we need to take care of that beard first. You look messy right now. Where's the neat little cub go?" I teased. He laughs stretching his nape while I'm taking more like dragging him to the bathroom on the second floor.

"You don't have to, I can do it myself," He says persistent to go back to the living room bombarding me with lots of excuses.

"Wait here don't move," I order with a stern voice glaring at him. He sighs and obeys, quietly sits on the edge of the bathtub.

I go downstairs straight to the main bathroom in the house ignoring the others. I found a razor and some shaving foam in the bathroom cabinet, tucked well behind the boxes of toothpaste as if they hadn't been used in some time.

I rush back to Chaengie, putting the things on the side table near the towels. I take the folding chair, a deeply padded and upholstered with a wipe-clean finish and sits him on it. I fill a sink with warm water, got him to tilt his head back a little and then place a hot flannel over his chin.

"Is it your new dream to open a barbershop? What's the flannel for?" He laughs.

"I'm not sure" I confess. "That's what they do in the films. It's like babysitting"

He only smiles softly then shut his eyes. I roll up my sleeve and begin to lather the shaving foam over his chin, all the way up to his ears. Then I hesitate, the blade over his chin...

"Umm, I never did this before"

He settles back sighing. "And you just tell me now"

I begin to scrape gently at his skin with the blade. I work in silence, studying Chaeng's face. Never that I thought he grow up being this good looking boy but his condition right now gives me a mix of feelings. I could clearly see the mauve shadows that scream of nights and nights of lost sleep. His face begins to light and I could see how easy it must have been for him to attract someone.

The thought flash that we are never actually this close to each other. Not just physically but also emotionally close. Our faces only inches away. It's impossible to be this close to someone, to feel their skin under your fingertips, to breath in the air that they breathe out. By the time I reach his other ear, it's starting to feel awkward for me as if I just overstep an invisible mark.

I start a conversation because it just too much for me handling with the sudden awkwardness that rushes through me it feels like a very uncomfortable silence.

"Chaengie, do you remember the three promise?" I ask.

"Three promise? Yeah. Why" he answers still with closed eyes.

"Really?" I pondered, raising my brow doubting him.

He opens his eyes and raises his hand in line with his shoulder;

"First, I'll always protect you.

Second, I'll never hurt you.

Third, I'll love you and care for you as a friend and little brother.

That's it. I promised you when we were younger back then. Now, how about you? Huh? "

He remembers it huh. Should I say I forgot? He looks at me blinking few time as I'm trying to say something but end up looking like an idiot. No, I shouldn't lie. Then I raise my right hand and utters the words.

"First, I'll always there for you.

Second, I'll trust you.

Third, I'll love you as best friend and sister"

He smiles showing his dimple then lowering his head playing with his fingers. I turn around washing my hand and cleans everything. "You're not going to break it, right?" I ask not wanting to hear the answer.

"Yes"

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Chaeyoung parks his car and goes for a night walk at the park. Just walking to somehow relax his mind. The air is still heavy and thick clouds blotted out stars. As darkness surround him with every step is so soft and soundless surely calm him. Then something crosses his mind and he stops.

Three promise? Hah, I regret it, I shouldn't make it knowing I'm clearly can't keep it. I'm sorry cuz I think I broke it Mina ya................

The third promise.

He smiles bitterly then sits on the bench where they met for the first time rest his head staring at the dark sky. Notice there's no stars no moon and it's a cold night. He breathes out forming a smile despite the emptiness he feels.

"I'll give it a try. Please accept me"

-to be continued-


	10. Second Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"So, you said you're going to confess once you returned" Dahyun ask Chaeyoung as he sits in an armchair while opening a can of beer. They are having a little talk at the living room watching Marvel, Tzuyu's idea just to end the day.

"I will, this Sunday" Chaeyoung answers. He's sitting on the edge of the sofa, with legs apart but thighs joined at the knee, rubbing his hands together for nonstop. He's been thinking whether it's the right thing to do, the confession.

"For real?" Hyun asks.

"Yeah"

"Well, just don't get your ass back home crying like last time" Tzuyu interrupt while choosing the next movie to play because the one that they're watching or only him that actually hooked into it, just ended.

"I'm not and watch your language Tzuyu" Chaeyoung fix himself, sitting upright, glaring at the youngest.

Dahyun only grins seeing his brothers acting up. "Anyway, good luck Chae. Do you prepare anything ?" He taps Chaeyoung's left shoulder while offering him a beer.

Chaeyoung takes a sip, swirl it around his mouth, and swallow it. For him, it still tastes like he's drinking bread, this only the first time and he's not used. He already feels the world spinning around him. He clicks his tongue then raise his brows facing Dahyun "Prepare what?"

"Event? Flowers? Chocolate? Anything?"

"Oh, yeah I'm too nervous. I haven't thought about that" Chaeyoung confess, it's the truth though.

"Chillax just says the magic word and it's either. One, she'll accept you. Second, she'll reject you. Third, which is the worst, she'll feel awkward around you which could destroy your so call friendship" Dahyun never understand his brother, he knows that it's risky but until when is he going to watch her from afar. Just confront the girl and say it. What's so hard?

"Mina noona is not that narrow-minded, I thought Hyung you know her better," Tzuyu says leaning against the sofa.

"I thought too" Chaeyoung sigh lowering his head.

"Like even the colour of her underwear, last night she wears pin----" Tzuyu didn't finish his words when Chaeyoung's feet land on his mouth shutting him. Basically kicking his face making Tzuyu almost chokes on a snack.

"I'm just kidding, that really hurts. Argg, my jaw" Tzuyu groan in pain, holding his chin while moving away from Chaeyoung, afraid of another smack.

Dahyun let out a small laugh, shakes his head then turns to Chae again. "Don't worry too much."

They just keep drinking until all of them pass out in the living room. Well, Chae is the first one to lose his consciousness after only the second sips.

* * * *

Ring! Ring!

"Fudge!" Chaeyoung groans as he turns off his alarm and jumps out from his bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night then can't go back to sleep no matter how hard he tried realizing that tomorrow is the day. So, he ended up staying awake until 5 a.m. and falling asleep afterwards.

He quickly gets ready, doing the usual morning routine but in 3x speed. Got his phone and rush to the door while keep saying "I'm late" under his breath.

"Wait, you're going to wear that?" Dahyun says, still with his pyjama holding a cup of tea. He stands from the couch and stops in front Chaeyoung, staring at him up and down.

"Why?"

"A black T-shirt with black pants and a black baseball cap with your uncombed messy hair and your swollen face? You look like a freaking murderer"

"She's waiting. I don't have ti--"

"Hey, keep in mind girls take forever to get ready" Dahyun interjected.

"She's not like any other girl! She always on time" Chaeyoung defends as he tries to escape.

Dahyun held Chaeyoung's arms and pull him a little "Okay, Alright. Relax, you can just text her says you're going to be late and ask her to wait somewhere, coffee shop or something"

"Son Chaeyoung" Dahyun snaps his finger few times because Chaeyoung seems like he's spacing out not minding his words.

"Oh, oh yeah"

"Give me your phone"

Dahyun snatches Chae's phone and throws it somewhere, Tzuyu who just listening successfully catch the phone "Tzuyu go text Mina noona" Hyun turns his gaze to the Cub "And you, follow me" Grinning, Dahyun pulls Chaeyoung by ear then disappear.

* * * *

The three arrive using Dahyun's car, a protonic red BMW i8. He parked in front of a tiny cafe, right on the quayside with boats moored all around them and bright blue water nipping back and forth.

"There she is. Hyung Jia you!" Tzuyu gives a quick thumbs up. He's sitting at the middle rear seats of the car.

"Uh-oh" Chaeyoung unconsciously utters in panic.

"What are you waiting for?" Dahyun break-in.

Chaeyoung turns his head from the side window staring at his brother. He let out a heavy sigh unknowingly blink nonstop with his eyes shaken a bit "Hyung, what if she rejects me. Is this--- worth it? I-I don't want to lose her"

"Freaking friendship, just go for it, say what you need to say. You're a tough man"

"I-I'm a tough man. Yeah, I'm a tough man" Chaeyoung punch his chest and let out a long loud breath one last time. He smiles at his brothers then going out of the car.

He's been so lost constructing scenario for the night ahead that he's surprised to see how far he has come. Already the cafe is insight. He can hear music from inside, the kind of rolling Jazz. Suddenly all he's preparation flee his mind like scared children. He stops. Part of him is screaming to turn around but he knows his future is in there.

______________________________________

He's never late I thought, finishing my second drink. But it's so nice in here. The interior of the cafe is warm and cheery. Square shiny table with small vases of red carnation flowers on each table, Monet prints framed on the walls and light jazz music. Perfect.

Maybe I should get him a drink too, he just texts me saying he's on the way. I stand up taking my bag with me on the way to the counter. After ordering a hot caramel macchiato, I turn around raising my brows, smiling when I see him outside waving at me.

He seems different wearing thick dark selvedge jeans teamed with a button-down shirt worn under a brown knit jumper. He's growing up fast I thought. I stand waiting for him as he walks closer and closer Eh?' Wait!

Bang!!

I can feel people stares as the sound distract everyone's attention, laughter and giggle can hear all the way down. I press my lips, holding my laugh and walk away straight to the table in the corner. *I don't know that guy*

Chaengie sits across me, the look of mild shock on his face and his cheeks that flushed pink. "Who are you?" I ask teasing him still trying hard to hold my laugh. I literally could burst in tears if we're not outside but only us.

"You're cruel," He pouts avoiding my eyes.

"You just crashed on to the glass door" Finally I release a small giggle while covering my mouth. I'm wrong he's still a kid, cool but stupid. "Are you alright? "I add when he doesn't answer me. Maybe it's too much. I lean forward closing the gap between us, eyes lock on him. I swipe his auburn mullet black hair off his forehead and sees a red mark more like a bruise. "It must be hurt"

"I'm f-fine. The glass was near transparent" He says removing my hand and steps back a little.

Why so defensive? I thought. Weird. I sit back wondering if he's sick because his face looks as red as a beetroot and radiate heat like a hot pan. His face burns bright enough to outshine the sun. Is it the reason he's late?

"Chaengie, are you okay? Let's just go hom--"

"No! I'm perfectly fine" He quickly cut in. "Since it's 11 let's eat first I'm hungry~" He whines. I'm not satisfied with his answer but for now, let's not think too much. We eat our late lunch for an hour and talks about our childhood memories, like how he almost drowned when he tried to save a kitten, how I hurt my ankle when badly when I'm practising ballet causing him to take care of me for a week, how he chocked on a rubber, his first winning on basketball, my first ballet trophy...how much I miss that time.

"You haven't watch Fantastic Beasts, aren't you?" He suddenly asks and I nod. We finish our lunch and heads to the cinema. I thought they don't show it anymore because it's been a year. We take a bus because Chaengie doesn't bring his car and I prefer him not to.

"Let me take that" He gestures. I give him the drink and popcorn while examining the place, still feeling odd when the cinema looks empty. Is it because today is Sunday? Where it supposed to be crowded.

We get in and I hate myself for forgetting this movie. I should watch it earlier. How come I miss this? Although my concentration fully on the screen, I still notice how we are the only person who's watching.

"Chaengie? Where's everyone?"

"Huh? Oh who would want to watch a movie that was released a year ago. "

Well, he's right. Putting aside the unusual feeling and attention on the screen again. After a moment, I can hear yawning which makes me turn to Chaengie and guess what, he's asleep. In a very uncomfortable way. Sighing, I put his head gently on my left shoulder, holding his hand.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

I wake him up after the movie ends, pinching his nose hard.

"D-did I---" He looks at me with guiltiness written in his face

"Yeah"

"Gomen" He apologizes.

I smile and shrug it off "Nah, let's grab something I'm hungry"

"Let's go," He says dragging me out of the place. I just realized it's already night and It's getting dark. We have our dinner at a restaurant own by an old Granny, When we were younger, we always come here to help and talks to Nana we call her with the nickname, she's the nicest human being I've ever met. The restaurant makes me feel like I'm home it got that warm atmosphere. It's only a few blocks from where we live before we moved, next to a high school. Only after 3 years, I meet her again.

I hug Nana tightly while crying. I'm really sorry for not visiting her all this time. She rubs my back and wipes my tear. After the dramatic scene, all of us just waste the time together and I tell Nana how bad of Chaengie leaving me alone and not even contacting me for a year. And he got a hard smack on his head by Nana.

"Nana~~" he whimpers rubbing the back of his head

We talk till it almost midnight then excuse ourselves. I embrace Nana one last time and Chaengie did the same. Before we left, Nana says something to Chaengie that I don't really get the message.

"Chaengie?"

"Yes, Nana"

"Waiting is a mistake. Right time always too late" Nana says smiling at him. What is that supposed to be mean? A faint smile crosses Changie's face and fades quickly. What is happening?

"I'm trying"

With that, we leave and starts to walk towards the bus station. On the way, I keep asking Chaengie what is it meant but he keeps avoiding my question, changing the topic into something else. "Mina, let's go to the park. I want to show you something" He captures my hand, intertwine our fingers dragging me to the park.

Nearing, the park seems to be quietly asleep resting comfortably in the afterglow of the soft moonlight night. Somehow I feel the urge to smile remembering all of our moments when we were child holding hands running around chasing each other, playing with the sand, when I push the swing too hard makes Chaengie fall on his face. He broke his front teeth that day.

He takes me to the empty bench where we always sit, not a single soul in sight. Just the two of us. It feels like we're in our little world in the sweet darkness, only the stars and the arching branches of the tree are here to accompany us.

"Wait," He says staring at his wristwatch then stars to counting down.

"5"

"4"

"3"

"2"

"1"

BOOM!!

Startled, I look up to the sky. Fireworks explode above burst through the dark night, fiery blooms amongst the stars. Like the stars only a backdrop. Each one draws a pattern in the sky, something unique and breathtaking. Some shoot straight before exploding, others whirls in a spiral, some shatter into thousands of spark, others tumble like a scarlet waterfall. I can feel my face light up as I'm smiling.

I'm enjoying the view so does Changie, he pulls me closer putting his arm around me while I'm hugging him from side resting my head against his warm chest. When the fireworks over, I praise him for it. It's really pretty.

"Mina?"

"Humm"

"Myoui Mina"

I tilt my head and stares at him, sensing the swirl of emotion but I can't quite get what is it. The corner of his mouth slides upwards. His eyes, his lips, and his spirit seem all at once smile at me. I return the smile showing my gums. He leans down and softly kisses my forehead.

"I like you"

-to be continued-


	11. Three Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Huh?" I draw away after hearing his audible voice. I lift my gaze, finding his makes and maintained eye contact. Confused, I don't get what he just says.

"What?" He presses his lips staring at me.

"D-did I say something?" He adds. Now avoiding my gaze and froze at the time. He looks like trying to search for word while I'm still waiting. I heard it wrong. Right?

"Yeah"

"Ah-Umm I-I" He mutters a few words, sometimes shut his eyes probably thinking. I'm narrowing my eyes in an attempt to understand him. Just when he let out a heavy sigh and find my eyes again, he gets interrupted.

Ring Ring

"Yeah?" I ask ignoring the phone call. I don't think that's important.

He drops his head before blinks and raises his brows. Maybe waiting for me to answer but I'm not. "Um your not going to pick it up?"

"No"

He breathed in a big lump of air and releasing it hard before he starts to speak again "I l--"

Ring Ring

"Maybe you should" He gives me a faint smile and nods a little. Maybe I don't have a choice but to get rid of this caller. I could just stomp on my phone and throw it away. Urg

"Give me a moment then," I say as I'm standing from the bench, taking out my phone that is in the front pocket of my cardigan and walks away for few steps enough not to let Chaengie overheard the conversation. I almost curse the caller but stop when jeongyeon Oppa voice came out. It looks like he wants an answer now. After seven months.

_____________________________________

Chaeyoung eyes followed Mina until he can't see her anymore because of the darkness that surrounds them. He sits back straight turns his body facing the lake upfront. The water is like a mirror, the shimmering reflection of the moon casts a silvery sparkle on the still waters. He curses himself for saying the things that were running his mind, didn't realized that he was actually saying it out loud when he only thought about the word that slips from his mouth.

While waiting with wind howling calms as it brushing his hair, he shut his eyes and savour the memory of its gentle touch.

=======================  
|Flashback|

"Weak! Don't play with us again! That's why your mom left you. Weirdo!" A kid pushed a ten years old, little Chaeyoung until he fell on his butt. As a kid, he always labelled as a freak because of his personality. Chaeyoung was not like usual kids, he was quiet and always alone. He spent most of his time locked in his room, drawing. He tried to bend with the others but it seems like he couldn't when he tried to play his role in football to gain score but his short legs and tiny body make it easy for the opponent to steal. After the match, he needed to face the consequences, trapped in the changing room with his teammates crowding him.

"Yyaaaa!" The door swung open revealing little Mina with a broom. She runs towards all of the seven other kid and recklessly beating their ass. They ran for their lives without any complaint since Mina, the named princess turned into the hulk when she was mad.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Eleven years old Mina found Chaeyoung hiding in branches of an oak tree "Gotcha!" she shouted from under the tree while pointing at Chaeyoung who found his way to get down.

"This is not fair. You're too good for a seeker"

"I'm not. You're just bad at hiding" Mina laugh pinching chaeyoung's nose while the younger kept babbling.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Sixteen years old Chaeyoung asked Mina to wait for him on the bench while he gets ice cream for them. That time he makes sure to told the older to listen to him and not go anywhere or went for a bike.

But when he returned, he hoped he had told her one thing he forgot, which is to kick the ball when some idiot tried to hit on her.

"Those jerks" Chaeyoung fastened his pace, tried to get there as soon as possible. He didn't want to run and chances for him to stumble and drop the ice cream was high. He kept it cool, never turned his eyes from the guy that holding Mina's wrist as he stood in front of her. A full-power kick hits the guy's side stomach as he fell on the ground growling.

Chaeyoung gave Mina the ice cream and smiled before he grabbed the tall guy by his collar and dragged him away. Before they disappear Mina stopped Chaeyoung on his way "Chaengie that's enough. I don't like violence" He sighed and released the grip, asking if she was hurt. When she assured that she was fine, he gave another punch after he saw the red mark on Mina's wrist.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Seventeen years old Chaeyoung convinced Mina to tried to swim and overcome her fear of water after she almost drowns when she was seven, a year before they met.

"Trust me, I'll catch you," Chaeyoung said as he stood in the middle of the not-so-deep swimming pool, but because of the height difference, Mina can't reach the end without disappearing from the surface. He had taught the older to practice using her arms and legs while still gripping hard on the side of the swimming pool. The last step was for her is to swim on her own. "Chaengie. I- I'm afraid. I can't"

"Hey, just release your grip and swim using the technique I've taught you. It's only three meters away. Just trust me" Hearing Chaeyoung's word Mina close her eyes in an attempt to stop the pounding heart and calm herself. The attempt failed. But still, she didn't want to disappoint Chaeyoung when he already taught her for hours.

With final inhaled and exhaled, filling her lungs with a big lump of air. Mina released her grip and kicked the wall as she swam as fast as she could moving her arms and legs like how she'd practice, head in the water, swam without knowing where she was going. Chaeyoung smiled when Mina starts to swam and when the latter's head hit his chest, he quickly grabbed her by the arms and pulled her into a hug while Mina circling her legs on his waist, arms on his neck, hugging Chaeyoung tightly as she gasped for air.

Chaeyoung praised Mina for her courage while laughing as the latter shown no sign to lose her grasp. She was hugging him like koala and refused to get down until they were on the land.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Chaeyoung ran and pulled Mina closer to him wrapping his arms around her shoulder. The arms that hold Mina were soft yet strong. The feel of her body so close to his soothed him more than he expected. But within seconds, he pulled away and let out a sigh of relief "Yah, I thought you're leaving me. What take you so long?" Chaeyoung had waited for two hours as the latter leave him alone saying she'll be back in a minute.

"I'm sorry, something's on the way," Mina said apologetically. Hiding the fact that she took time to pick the right gift for the upcoming birthday of her best friend.

"Never leave me okay"

"Silly, I won't"  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Both hanging around the park after school. They spent their time playing swing until Mina suddenly popped an idea "Let's make an oath to each other"

Chaeyoung who just came back from buying ice cream for them nodded regardless, not realizing that he will regret his word "Okay" Both of them stood in front of a huge oak tree and promise themselves.

The cub took a step closer to the tree and faced Mina "I'll go first" he said before raising his right hand.

"I'll protect you. I'll never hurt you and........

Ahh, I'll love you as your brother and best friend"

______________________________________

Jeongyeon Oppa talks a lot more than I expected, while I'm only listening barely answer his questions. After the phone call, I swing my feet to the bench and finds out that Chaengie is closing his eyes. I continue to sit beside him. Maybe he's tired. I thought. "I'm back. Are you sleeping?"

He's awakened by my voice, maybe I should just let him sleep. He brushes it off saying he's only enjoying the wind and smiled at me. That sad smile again. The only smile I can't see through.

"Anyway, what do you want to say earlier?" I ask, my curiosity still alive and I want an answer.

"Oh, Ummm I-----" He stares at me again, presses his lips together and seems like to think. Are you going to reject me? Will you feel awkward afterwards? Avoiding me? Can we be more than friends? Are you going to be mad at me? Is it worth it to lose you?

"I'll love you as your brother and best friend"

"Hah, its nothing," He adds and smiles again before he positioning himself, planting his gaze into somewhere. Now I really starting to hate that smile.

"Really?" I doubt.

"Humm"

There is a long silence after he speaks, leaving us with only the sound of crickets. I notice the gap between us and for the first time, he feels so distant, so different."Who is it?" He asks, without looking at me. We sit facing upfront with a clear gap when he's on the left side of the bench while I'm on the other side.

"Umm a--haha I don't know what to address him" I chuckle awkwardly.

"Him?" He asks, knitting his brows and now looking at me.

"Yeah. I said that I wanted to ask you a question that's why I agree to join you today"

"What is it?"

"A guy has been courting me this past week. And he wants an answer from me..... Umm, should I say yes?" I questioned. He froze at the moment and try to utter a word but nothing seems to leave his mouth. I don't know why I wanted to ask him so badly, or why I need to tell him that when I can make the decision on my own.

"I-If he makes you happy. Then. You. Should say yes" He smiles.

"Ahh" That's the only things I can say to reply to him. I do expect it but I don't like to hear it. At all. I force a smile and tap his shoulder to let him knows that it's time to go home. The ride is quiet when we are on the bus. Since it's early in the morning already, no one except us, sitting side by side at the back of the bus. I'm so sleepy until Chaeyoung uses his jacket, wrapped me with it and let my head fall on his left shoulder.

* * * *

"Myoui Mina!"

Urg what they want early in the morning. I just had a long day with Chaeyoung and I'm tired. I thought while tossing right and left, cupping both of my ears while this squirrel and big eater keep shaking my body and shouting behind my ear. I groan and wake up, feeling like I want to throw this unnies from the window.

"What!?" I shout with my not so loud voice while sitting, rubbing my eyes.

"Are you with someone now?" They ask in unison

"Jeongyeon Oppa, why?" I answer boringly and yawn at the same time.

"Mina-Yah!!" Momo unnie half whine, half shout and half shock. I don't really know how to describe her tone just now. She just looks at me with disbelief expression. I raise my brow.

"Huh?" I swift my eyes to Sana unnie who's crossing her arms against her chest while shaking her head. She pulls Momo unnie out of my room and left without any word, leaving me confused at their actions. Well, I'll ask them later. I need my sleep.

Ring Ring

Gosh. Come on! Urgh. "Hello!" I yell, annoyed with everyone.

[Oh, Mina ya. That's the loudest voice of you I ever heard......Thank you for accepting me]

"I said let's give it a try. Please don't put your hopes too high"

[Don't worry I'll make sure you fall for me. Let's have a date tomorrow Please~~]

"Alright. Oppa, I'm really sleepy right now, could you be kind and let me sleep"

[Haha. Okay okay. I Love you. Bye]

I wanted nothing more than to lay down and be enveloped by the warmth of silence and rest. I sigh and turn my phone off, pulls the battery out and put it inside my drawer. I flopped to the bed with a thud, then buried in sleep.

* * * *

He asked me to come to the tennis court. I never know that such a place exists in this college. Well, I never explore the whole place so it makes sense I don't know a thing. And since when my college is this big? even a map couldn't help.

After searching for about an hour I finally found the court. I walk closer, the view of him started to show. Again, I don't know he's a sports guy. To be honest, I know nothing about him other than my musical partner, indeed soon after the project, he confronted me and started to court me. At first, I declined, but he was very eager. I sit on a bench near the court waiting for him to finish. He wears a black long-sleeve polo shirt, a black cap, black sweatband on the wrist and dark blue shorts. He is kinda good at this. I assume he is because he wins it.

I grab a towel and a bottle of water near me then give it to him. He smiles as he wipes his sweat then drink. He wanted to hug me but I complain about how stink and sticky he is while covering my nose. He pouts as I laugh and ask him to take a shower then we'll get going.

"So, what now?" I ask as we walk beside each other. He changes into a black V neck long sleeve shirt and black shorts. This guy like black I guess. Just like Chaengie.

"Let's rent a bike" He exclaimed. Before I could say anything, he drags me along and rent a bike. I don't know that there are such things in this college, what actually I know? I'm always stuck in the library. Wow. I'm so smart-but-dumb. He put his backpack at the front basket then a blue in colour helmet on me. He smirks saying that he doesn't want to take responsibility if I fall. I only throw him a dirty look as he laughs at me. He positioned himself while I still hesitate to ride the bike. I don't know why but I just did. Maybe I don't trust him enough.

He grins as if he knows what's inside my mind then shows me his motorcycle license. He pulls me to sit on the back of the bike. As he pedal onwards, the breeze is as welcoming as sunset air. In that way, with steady sunlight warmth and wind to cool, my eyes are bathed in the passing scene, lots of things I've never seen before, that's when I realized he's taking me on a tour around the whole campus.

"If I were you, I'll hold my shirt or--" He says right before taking a corner. Startled, I hug him afraid that I'll fall. "--- a hug is a lot better" He laughs. I pinch his waist, both side for teasing me.

"So, you show me your motorcycle license. Why don't we just use it instead of renting a bike" I ask tightening the hug until it hurts him because he keeps scaring me turning the handlebar to the left then right, or speeding like a turbo. It's a good thing we're now in the park and not on a road.

"I send it for repairs because I got into an accident," He calmly says after growling in pain.

"What!?" I half-shout, making him stop cycling. He turns to me as I jump down and checks his condition. There's a bandage on his forehead. How come I don't realize it beforehand? I touch his wound while asking if there are any other injuries.

A smirk form on his mouth "Are you worried?" He teases. Geez this guy, I press the wound making him cried in pain, then walk by myself leaving him alone. He chases after me walking his bike along the side of the road. I'm still stomping my feet away from him. I heard quick footsteps behind then feel my wrist being grabbed. I turn around and there he is smiling at me.

"Thank you for asking about me. And no, there are no other injuries except your pinch is really strong. My waist still hurt" There he is, whining like a child exactly resembles someone. Or is every guy is a bit childish?

______________________________________

"Is he okay?" Momo asks her fiance, worry can be seen written on her face. They are staying at a cafe with Momo, Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Sana sitting in a circle.

"I'm not sure, he had been locking himself since yesterday. That idiot." Dahyun tells them while shaking his head, slowly sipping on an Americano.

"Well, Hyung only got three choices, whether to steal Mina unnie, act like a loyal friend or he will leave" Tzuyu sigh, rubbing his forehead.

"I'll try to talk to him," Sana interrupts smiling at the others, she's the last person that Cheyoung call and the one that he always seeks for help or advice. The only person Chaeyoung always open to, the others agreed that Sana can bring the tiger out or even lecture him.

-to be continued-


	12. True Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Chae?" Sana knock the door for a second time, still there's no answer. She asks the others to enjoy themselves and let her take care of Chaeyoung because she knows Chaeyoung need space. He hates to show his weakness.

After another few knock, the door of Chaeyoung's bedroom that located on the second floor finally swing open revealing Chaeyoung still in the same clothes, messy hair, swollen eyes. He keeps his head low as Sana walk closer to him and embrace the younger. "Idiot" She says while stroking chaeyoung's hair.

She noticed how messy the room are, with paint splashed all over the white wall, brush and newspaper scattered on the floor. Almost the whole room are painted in various colours mostly dark, the intoxicating awful smell of new paints that could make anyone faced severe headaches. It looks like Chaeyoung just pour a few can of paint all over the place. Even he himself showering with black paint on his hands and some on his cheeks. Also the artwork of a girl on his white wall above the bed, bear a resemblance to someone Sana knows, her younger sister.

This is it. Sana thought. The real Chaeyoung, the dark side of him that no one ever seen except her, the side that he always hide from everyone including his bestfriend. He's not that bright not that mischievous but the lonely and cold him. Sana had encounter this side when she noticed the difference of Chaeyoung when he's with Mina and without Mina. After she did asked the cub about it, she admitted that it was hard convinced him and when she knows, she can't help but feel bad for him. Chaeyoung never had any close friend that he kept except Mina, his life drives by Mina instead of him. Sana thought that Chae need to be more socialize and don't chained himself to Mina. Sana don't want any of them to get hurt. But looks like she can't do a lot when her little sister doesn't share the same feelings.

Sana pull out and ordered the younger to take a shower while she cook dinner for Chaeyoung as she knows he hasn't eaten. Chaeyoung doesn't take long to clean himself and quickly help his sister. Neither of them has speak any word. They work in silence and just exchange a faint smile. Sana don't want to ask any questions or force the younger but wait until he willingly tell her.

They sits across each other eating silently until Chaeyoung start the conversation.

"Noona, I'm sorry" He says not making any eye contact, keeping his head low.

"That's weird. What makes you say that?"

"I'm a coward. I know"

"I don't know. I only sees a madly guy who's in love. A stupid guy that love so deeply."

The dinner ends with Sana give him a genuine smile then leave the house without any word but another hug. A tight and long one before she ruffles his hair. Touching the tip of Chaeyoung's nose playfully making the younger giggle a bit. "I'm worried about you. Take care of your health and make sure to eat your medicine, Kay" Sana planted another smile before she turn her back.

____________________________________

"Mina-ya!" A voice shouted. I sigh.

"He's really a kid" I face-palmed.

Jeongyeon and I has been walking, running or even chasing after each other. I'm starting to get tired of this date, it is fun but exhausting, more like I'm taking care of a child then going on a date with my boyfriend. But still, he's a good guy and I like to spend time with him.

Jeongyeon runs towards me holding a bunch of colourful air balloon. I think he might fly anytime soon and I'm totally fine with it.

"Do you like balloons?" He asks, smiling as he hands it to me.

"Yeah, but it's too much. Right"

He grin as he tied a pink in colour balloon around my wrist. I watch his face turn into wonders."Oh, what's this?" He ask. I followed his gaze and smile when my eyes landed on my bracelet.

"Ahh, friendship bracelet"

"Friendship bracelet?"

"Yeah, I'll introduce you to him later, kay" I says while locking my arms with him walking down the stairs. Since we're in the topic, I keep talking about my best friend and how close we are until I consider Chaengie as my little brother. I like how Jeongyeon Oppa listen internly to me while nodding. Funny me, I don't realize there's a large rock ahead, I just keep walking staring at eongyeon Oppa as I'm hooked into the topic. I trip and almost fall but luckily Oppa catches me, wrapping his left arms around my shoulder while her other arms grab me by the waist.

He stares at me worriedly, asking if I'm hurt, it happened to fast I couldn't say a word but making an eye contact. There's an awkward long silence before I pull out from his grip, fixing myself and apologize for being so clumsy.

"Now, I really want to meet him seeing how excited you're just by talking about him. He must be a good guy." He nods.

"He is"

After having dinner, we spend time taking a long walk side by side, swinging our feet to my house as he keep arguing to send me home, although I can just call any of my sisters. Since we're close, we decided to just walk rather than taking a bus or taxi. Walking through the dead night is long, neither of us start the conversation. Only accompany by the sodium gleam of the street lamps and the flickering striplight from sleepy minicab stand that offers little consolation.

As I'm focus humming a song while walking, I notice a rain drop. I tilt my head seeing the clouds gather in the sky, large pillows of cloud are forming. As I got the first splatter of rain, my hand grabbed by Jeongyeon oppa then he intertwine our finger. He laughs before he pulls me running through the rain, I only follow him as we take shelter in front of an old convenience store.

"That's unpredictable" He says turning me by the shoulder to face him. Jeongyeon oppa blow air on his hand. I don't answer him as I can feel the cold water seeps into my shoes stealing the heat from my soles just as fast as the wind steals from my face. My face is soaked, the drops coming together to run into my eyes and and drip from my chin and I could see his face got frozen just the same.

He take a step forward, still blowing on his hands to make it warm sometimes rubbing his hands together. He leans and slowly cup my cheeks with both his hands as I meet his gaze. The corners of his mouth lift up into a smile, smiled like a cat who got ice cream or that kind of smile that shows all of his teeth, a warm and innocent smile.

He got me laughing hard at how funny and childish he is. I pinch his nose as a punishment for making my heart skip a beat. Though for no reason at all, I do feels uncomfortable, guilty and everything is just wrong but this guy purity keep me to holding on.

He pause as we starea into each other's eyes. His eyes glistening in the darkness. I swallow and hold my breath. His hands reaches under my hair, below my ear while his eyes search mine. He leans closer into me, drawing his lips near. I inhale sharply as I'm against his warm chest and as he keep getting closer, I know what is coming as I close my eyes for some time but when I could feel his breath and before our lips lock, I quickly look away.

He stop and I feel guilty for rejecting him but my body just move by itself and maybe I'm not ready just yet. He pulls away then coughing a bit as we both look upfront. That incident makes things turns into a whole new level of awkwardness. After few minutes waiting for the rain to stop, Jeongyeon oppa offer me to listen to a song as we share earphones.

"It's my favorite song. I always listen to it" He state.

The truth can hurt you

Or the truth can change you

What would truth do to you

I just wanna be happy

But if I keep on doing the things

That keep on bringing the pain

There's no one else I can blame

If I'm not happy

Wasted time but now I can see

The biggest enemy it was me

So I'm not happy

Neither of us say a word but enjoying the rhythm of the song. It's a great song in my opinion and have a deep meaning too. An upbeat song but for some reason it is sad. Maybe because it reminds me of myself, how the messages clashes with how I'm feeling. Ahh, haha......it's hurt

We spend time with just listening to the song again and again as the waves of the salty liquid washed the pavement creating a melancholic music. And when it does the song become more and more sadder.

When the water droplets begin to fall in a light pitter-patter, Jeongyeon oppa suggest us to run since it's not that heavy, he's worried about me if I got home in such late hour, although it already is. Before I get in, as I'm standing in front of my house, he says something I couldn't reply.

"Mina, I'll wait for you"

\- to be continued-


	13. Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Other months have passed since I'm together with Jeongyeon oppa. He's really a good guy there's nothing would make me not to like him, it just I kinda feel guilty for some reason. Also, weird things are last month I couldn't reach Chaengie for three days, he didn't answer my call nor reply to my message. But then come back like nothing happened. He smiles and treats me the same way he usually did. Teasing me and always with his lame jokes. He said he lost his phone that's why. I know he's lying and I know he won't want to talk about it, so I let it slide. Everything is fine as for now.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and my parents want to hold a massive party since I also won first place at Ballet & Contemporary Dance but I successfully convinced them that I don't need or even want a huge party. A family gathering or just 'us' is more like me. My parents end up choosing family gathering and lots of my cousin and aunt that I've never seen will come, even Papa Cherry also will be here. Well, that's better than an open massive party.

I invite Jeongyeon to come and he's so excited and nervous, that's what he said and I could literally see it on his face. I've told everyone about Jeongyeon and they said they were happy for me, although my mom did ask about Chaengie which I only shrugged on confusion at her statement "So, Chae really just a friend" she said but I don't know why it sounds like a question.

[Umm Mina, what should I buy? ]

"Oppa, you don't have to buy anything. Just come I'll be waiting"

[No, that's rude if I come with an empty hand.]

"They don't really care, don't worry. Hurry I miss you already."

[Oh......... Oh?...... ]

"What?"

[Umm. Are you sick?]

"No, I'm not. Why?"

[Ahh, haha nothing. I miss you too. And Umm I need to get ready..bye I love you]

"Bye"

I end the call then put my phone on my desk. I still can't say it. I thought as I'm standing in front of a mirror staring at myself. But in no time, I will.

I wear a long silver pearl drop with a dark blue dress. It's in shiny blue shade made of thick synthetic material with thin straps around the neck. The dress reaches down the knees and has floral prints all around and also with a pair of high heels.

Everyone is already gathered in the living room. And it is so loud with all the chit chat everywhere, I could hear though being in my room. I open my bedroom door just to be greeted by Chaengie who's wearing a plain shirt with Levi's jeans and brown leather shoes .

"Ready, birthday girl" He says with a playful smirk.

"Be a gentleman, help me get down the stairs, I'm wearing high heels"

He laughs before locking his arms with me, thanks to him, I get down without making fun of myself like last time. What happened? Well, I tripped when I was 13 and being teased for a whole week by a talking cub.

"He's late, right," Chaengie says giving me a glass of water since I don't drink.

"I'll call--"

"M-Mina? "

I turn around when my name being called. There he is, smiling while waving his hand, he wears cream vest, black shirt and stripes bow tie, jeans on and black leather shoes. I walk towards him, pinch his nose for come a bit late. He gives me a bouquet of roses. Geez, I said don't have to bring anything. What a stubborn kid.

I sigh in defeat when he keeps inhale and exhale with a big lump of air. No mentioning that he doesn't even do his hair or wear his bow tie properly. What a kid. I open my pouch and luckily found a comb out of all the makeup in there. I lean forward, fixing his hair into a neat and organized at least made it better than before. I scold him for not even know how to care himself as I tuck the wings of the collar behind the bow tie.

"Come, I'll introduce you my friend" I said dragging him to meet Chaengie.

They introduce themselves to each other and talk about some things that I don't get, by now, looking at them, they kinda the same as I pretend to laugh at their lame jokes. Chaengie excuse himself to the washroom while again I drag Jeongyeon oppa to meet my family.

My family seems to like him, and I can say he really good at pleasing my parents. His lame jokes become a joke because it is not really a funny joke. I'm happy for him.

Before we call it a day, Jeongyeon oppa and my dad have a little talk outside in the veranda. I hope dad doesn't give him a hard time. He returns with a stone face, he looks so tense and bothered. Before I could ask him about it, Chaengie flicks my forehead while putting his arms around jeongyeon oppa.

"I'll borrow him" He says at me, smiling before turning to face jeongyeon oppa "Let's have a little game in the town. Are you in?"

They disappear before I even say a word. Please don't influence him too much. I thought. Not that Chaengie is a bad example but who knows what are they doing, Chaengie likes to go high speed in a long highway, though I already beat him hard because of it.

_____________________________________

Mina guessed right. Chaeyoung uses Dahyun's car and goes for maximum speed in a highway. But to his surprise, a lot of people would usually beg for life if they were in Jeongyeon's place but instead he seems to enjoy it. Screaming his lungs out while raising both his hand feeling the wind.

They stop at a beach. Chaeyoung start to question Jeongyeon about his relationship with Mina. And whether he is serious.

"Mina, she hates thunder, makes sure you always there to console her. She likes to eat snack, make sure you don't let her eat it too much. She's a homebody, so bring her out sometime. She's introverted, so always speak up for her and try to understand her. She also li----"

"--I..I will get to know her better. And you look like you're going somewhere" Jeongyeon cut in.

"I will. Don't tell her though. She's going to be mad. My dad offers me to come with him back to America to focus on my study. And I agreed. So, take care of her while I'm gone."

With that, they little talk ended as both of them falls back with silence engulf them.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

The next day, Jeongyeon bring Mina on a date since it's Sunday. Jeongyeon has been contemplating to tell Mina about Chaeyoung but he chooses not to meddle in.

"As I said, Chaengie is a good guy right," Mina says happily while eating ice cream.

"He is" Jeongyeon reply before dragging Mina to buy groceries since they are going to have dinner in Jeongyeon house.

"You know, Chaengie really hate beans." The girl exclaims while giggling a bit, staring at the pack of beans in hand. Jeongyeon who noticed the small smile on Mina's face, just keep quite.

After having what they need, they walk to Jeongyeon house and cook together, mostly Jeongyeon since he's a better chef than Mina. For the guy, it is not a good date. He misses something. Mina's presence. Something doesn't feel right.

They sit across each other and again Mina complaint on how similar Jeongyeon is with Chaeyoung, how both of them shared the same interest, somehow sound the same in particular words or how they dressed the same way.

"Mina, can you stop that" Jeongyeon put his utensil, gazing at her.

"Eh?" Mina tilts her head.

"Chaengie here, Chaengie there. Can you stop talking about him? You're with me the entire day but somehow I don't feel you beside me. Like your heart or mind is not with me. I----I thought he just a friend" Jeongyeon spit out.

"Oppa--I"

"Maybe, both of us need time" Jeongyeon says before he leaves the table, standing up and swing his feet toward his bedroom but stop and says "You can go home by yourself right. Text me when you're home." Leaving Mina alone trying to explain herself but couldn't. She leaves after knocking Jeongyeon bedroom door and apologize.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Meanwhile, at the same time, Chaeyoung already packed his stuff and will leave with his dad tomorrow. He already told his brothers and they are a bit concerned but finally, they let him. Tzuyu thought of his brother choosing the third choice, which is to leave. Chaeyoung doesn't say a word to the Myoui because he doesn't want to ruin the mood when everyone right now is happy after the party yesterday, but he let Sana knows.

Today, he goes for a walk in the town just to enjoy his last day before he leaves the country. He walks to the park and recall all the memories he had with Mina, also meet Nana and have some little talk before Nana smack his head for being so stupid, but still hug him tight afterwards. He spends the day just walking without any direction until he bumps with the least person he wants to see, Mark. But that guy immediately apologies for what he had done and Chaeyoung forgive him since he looks sincere.

To wrap everything, they decide to drink in a club, Mark basically drags Chaeyoung although he doesn't want because he easily gets drunk, besides he has a flight tomorrow evening. Chaeyoung sigh and ends up in a club, promise to himself that he'll leave only after one sip.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

On her way to her house, Mina feels uneasy leaving Jeongyeon alone. She knows what she did is wrong, so she turns her way and walks back to Jeongyeon house to apologize and hoping the guy already cool down. He knocks the main door couple of time only stop when her phone buzz. She answers it, clueless at why Chaeyoung calls her.

[Umm, hello is this Mina?]

Her brow creased to the unfamiliar voice "Umm, Yes, I am, who is this?"

[I'm a bartender in Yale Club and looks like your friend is too drunk, I call you as he keeps murmuring your name]

"Ahh, I'm sorry, I'll get him. Could you send me the address?"

Mina has to give up on apologizing to Jeongyeon and decides she will see him tomorrow. Mina quickly takes a bus and follow the address she received. Upon arriving, it's a huge luxurious club and there's a lot of people dancing or even making out. She found Chaeyoung sitting in the corner with his head in hands. '*He never goes to a club, I don't even know he drink now* Mina thought before catching Chaeyoung from falling.

"Chaengie! Wake up!" She shouts multiple times to get the Cub back to his senses but all her shouting is to no avail. She tries to call Dahyun and Tzuyu but neither of them answers her. With that, she leaves with no choice but to support Chaeyoung to walk until they reach outside the club.

Mina take a taxi to bring the drunk cub home, while on the ride, Chaeyoung keeps calling her name whereas every time he does Mina will answer but nothing come out as a reply. She let out a heavy sigh when they arrive because again she has to carry the giant cub, luckily, she's not wearing a skirt but jeans. Never knows what anticipate her through the night.

Mina supports Chaeyoung with her arms around his waist while his hands around her shoulder. She lost her energy from carrying the younger, the best thing she could do is to support him to walk to himself.

After arriving at Chaeyoung's bedroom, she flops the guy on the bed while she falls on her butt breathing hard. Why is he so heavy. Mina talks to herself. She takes a few minutes to rest before placing Chaeyoung in a correct position and not lying on his stomach. She helps him to open his shoes then his sock before she tucks him neatly under the blanket.

"Good night tiger," She says while tapping Chaeyoung's forehead with her index finger, smiling when the cub groans a bit. She turns around and about to walk away but stop when Chaeyoung grabs her hand.

"Don't leave"

Mina faces him and surprises when he utters a word. She thought he is drunk enough to even speak. Mina sits on her knees and leans closer to him worriedly asking if he's okay. Chaeyoung does not reply but keeps his mouth shut for a minute before he says, "I don't want to be your friend anymore".

Clueless Mina, still not understand or catch any of his words as she thought Chaeyoung is mumbling something unexplainable. She's about to leave when she convinced that they cub are already falling asleep. But Chaeyoung suddenly open his eyes and cups her cheeks, he leans in a little closer, their foreheads touching. Mina's eyes widen as she tries to pull away but again being grab by the younger.

"This is bad"

The only word that leaves Chaeyoung's mouth before he pulls her and their lips came into contact with each other.

-to be continued-


	14. Pain 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The chapter in this book may be unsettling and include violent acts against sexual integrity. Please skip it if it's too much for you to handle.
> 
> _____________________________________
> 
> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Why is it not enough?

Why my reluctance not enough to make you stop?

Why are my tears no enough?

Is it my fault, for being too weak to fight?

Why, why we ended up like this?

Why are you doing this to me?

You are my best friend.

Finally, this is going to end. Urrgh, he's so heavy. I don't think I can do this anymore, fortunately only a few stairs then we'll get to his room. God, I'm late for home it's almost twelve sharp, my parents will scold me.

I support him to walk to his room and flop him into the bed as I sit on the floor, catching air. I stand and fix his sleeping position, basically his habit to sleep lying on his stomach. Take his shoes off, socks and put him under a blanket.

There's no light, but the blackness little by little fading as the moon guides me through the night. His face lights up by the moonlight creep from the window. How come he's this good looking while sleeping? I thought to myself before tap his forehead saying goodnight. He groans a bit which reminds me of old times when he always did that whenever he's mad. I smile then turn around heading to the door but stop when my hand grabbed from behind.

Chaeyoung says a word that I couldn't understand. He's basically mumbling something, I walk closer and sit on my knees leaning against his bed trying to catch his word. He keeps his mouth shut for a moment then again says something I don't get. I laugh at myself for taking a drunk person's word seriously. I'm about to stands as I thought he has fallen asleep, but to my surprise, he cups my cheeks, staring into me. I'm caught off guard. He leans closer and we are so close, my heart could explode. I pull away only for him to tighten his grip until it's hurt.

"This is bad"

I quickly lift my hand and held his arms, hesitantly look up to him, the swirl of emotion I see there makes me gasp. Lust, desire and..... fear? However, before I could ponder about it further, he brings me close until there's no gap between us. His lips brush mine, I try to pull away but he is was too strong, besides my body seems not listening to me. Urged myself to push away but couldn't, my body begin to tremble uncontrollably. I've never in this uncomfortable state when I'm with Chaengie but somehow, now I am.

His head angled slightly to the side of his lips came closer and closer to mine. I couldn't think straight, lots of things going through my mind as our lips met. My body goes rigid with surprise, it's a gentle, soft kiss with its flicker of warmth. I don't respond to the kiss, my hand shaking slightly, my mind is repeating the same sentence over and over Don't do this, don't do this but the sound of my heart is beating so loud, I couldn't concentrate.

His hand moves from my cheeks to the back of my head. His fingers tangling in my long hair, lightly pulling me into him, adding pressure to our lips, deepening the kiss. My heart aches, I couldn't bring myself. At this moment, I know something is just wrong, everything is wrong. He is drunk, he might not even remember what happened the next day. With that, I push him with my hand that rest against his chest. He looks at me then smile, that annoying smile.

I take shallow breaths and without saying a word, I leave with my back facing him heading to the door. I feel guilty and shame at the same times. It just a mistake, I convince myself.

"I like you. A lot."

I froze as I held the doorknob, I could sense his presence standing behind me as I turn to face him again.

"More than a friend, more than a brother, more than what we are now" He adds. He sounds so pained, so remorseful. Before I could say anything, he grips my forearms, walks me two steps until I'm against the wall. He closes the gap, fingers tightening on my arms, squeezing so there's almost pain. His mouth possessive and rough, I couldn't react but stand stiff until reality hits me and I try to push him.

Instead of backing away, his hand move sliding up my thigh, to my shirt, pushing it inappropriately high. The heat of his palm sliding over my skin leave he owns it. I know I should try harder or just run, but WHY?! My body can't move. It's like I'm in a state of panicking until I let his hands roaming around my body.

I look up, meet his eyes, and thought to myself that this is not him. This guy is not my best friend, he is NOT the Chaeyoung that I know for a long time. And this guy just lost and unaware of what he's doing. I collect myself, and step on his feet hard, feeling the guilty rush through me as he grunted. I leave him and walk away, I know it just a mistake and I have to leave the place as soon as possible before anything happens.

I should run.

Heading downstairs, with high heels what do I expect? My foot kicks the other and I start hurdling forward. I take a deep breathe in as I close my eyes and hear the thudding of my body hitting the stairs. When the rolling stops, bruises all over my arms, sprained ankle. I struggle to stand as I chanted repeatedly I need to leave but my muscle is so weak, I fall and hit my head on the edge of the stairs rails. Everything becomes fuzzy; then I see nothing at all.

* * * *

This feels weird

What's going on?

Where I am?

I open my eyes, feeling dizzy. I'm wide awake but I couldn't see anything, everything is a complete dark, not even the slightest moonlight, no nothing. Soon I feel some sort of fabric or maybe it's cloth wraps around my eyes. That when I realized, I'm blindfolded.

Confused, mad, terrified, I call for Changie, but there's no response. I start to cry as I learn to know that my hands are tied up into something, I guess a headboard bed since I'm lying with a pillow on. Random and absurd thought lingering through my mind. Feeling the bitter cold chilled every inch of my body into clumsy numbness, cold into my toes and spread painfully throughout my whole body. I'm doubting that I'm on my clothes, 'cause I know at this moment, I'm not.

I'm shivering, my teeth chattering as I try to reach Chaengie, calling, shouting his name again and again in desperate of need. I need help. I start to think if this is just a dumb weird dream but it's not, what I'm going through right now is actually happening and I can't release myself no matter how hard I try, only hurting my wrist and straining my voice.

"Don't move"

I stop upon hearing a voice. It's deep and low sounding, something familiar. "C-Chaengie?" I call, recognizing the voice. I heard no response but the sound of approaching feet and heavy breath. The volume is overly loud in my own ears, along with the booming of my heartbeat. I'm soaked with sweat as again I call for help.

The footsteps nearing me until it stops, I have funny thoughts that I'll be saved when actually it's only the beginning of my torment. I gasp for air when I feel sharp pressure on my stomach as if a rock just was thrown at me. Nausea creeps from my abdomen to my head, it feels like someone has taken a knife to my skull. I could only concentrate on the pain that rooted deep. I lost track of my surrounding, as my hearing senses goes fuzzy. I barely hear the pitter-patter of little feet and loud thumping footsteps against the floor, slowly fades away.

I lay there, face closed in a grimace while my skin goes clammy. I heave and try to push the dizziness aside, concentrate on escaping. My hands and ankle tangled as I tossed around, trying to free away. Every few minutes I would scream. Not so long, I sense the silence footsteps again heading towards me.

I feel bodyweight on the bed. I cry harder, shouting harder, fight harder as a pair of cold hands roam against my skin. Feeling the pressure of someone on top of me, letting this man do whatever he wants, unable to fight back.

Feel his forcefully, explore my mouth with his tongue, hands slid between my legs. His heavy breathing into my left ear as his body shove itself inside of mine. Crying uncontrollably, I couldn't stop it, I'm screaming my lungs out for it to stop. A tightening of my throat and a short intake of breathe.

I'm praying that everything will end soon, everything will be fine.

Begging, repeating the same words

"Please"

"Please stop"

There's no one or nothing there to help me, the pain is too much, if a gun has been to hand, I will shot myself in the head. Death is preferable then continuous pain like thousands of venomous blades piercing my body apart. All I could do is to shut my eyes, bearing the pain as I scream helplessly. There is no hope left when he tapped my mouth, turning me mute.

I can do nothing, nothing to defend myself. Feel the pain, my teeth did down into my bottom lip as he pounded against my limp body and ripped in and out of the dry cavity between my legs. Tonight, I'm ripped and ejaculate into a lifeless doll.

That lifeless doll happens to be me.

Cloud in sadness, unfairness, madness, there's nothing can beat my fear of who's this person is. Don't move. How come I mistook Chaengie's voice? But it could never be him.

NEVER.

Throwing aside the thought of, what if's.

What if, it happens at the hands of the people whom you trust the most.

What if, it happens at the hands of the people who protected you in the past.

What if, it happens at the hands of your best friend.

-to be continued -


	15. Reality 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Urrgh" Chaeyoung groan while letting out an exasperated sigh. He automatically massages his temple from extreme headache while his mouth tastes evil. Slowly he brings himself to sit properly, feeling thirsty. He rubs his nape, eyes shut when he can't move a single muscle; he stays sitting on the edge of the bed, debating whether or not he should get up. Hoping the hangover will clear.

He tries to calm the fire that burns his stomach and the pain on his back that aching in a way that starts around his knees up to his forehead. His brains have been removed and replaced with cotton balls and needles which why it hurts to try and think of What happened last night?

He feels awfully weird, body aches and unable to move from his position. He decides to stay still, until the pain is gone and he can collect himself, accompany by silence. He opens his eyes, streaks of sunlight penetrate the window hissed at his back, fulfilling the room.

Everything is blurry, for a second he never knows who or where he is. Don't know how he got in that bed, or how he got in those clothes. Then, everything becomes clear. He's in his room, the thing above him is the ceiling and he is sitting on his own bed. And? He got no shirt on, no pants, fully exposed. His clothing and some stranger clothes scattering on the floor or more like a ripped blouse and woman jeans and? Lingerie?

Still in confusion, he tries to process, thinking of what happened or why there are woman clothes in his room, and why is he naked. Not until he notices a presence behind him, on the other bedside. A feeling of a person or agency, without being heard or seen. He turns around instantly shocked running through his frame, his face stuck in an incredulous expression. Chaeyoung glance over a girl lying, hands tied on the headboard, countless marks on her body, dry blood, dry tears, bruises, and cuts.

Can't bear what he sees, he quickly turns his face so his back facing the girl. A dream? He shakes his head in disbelief as he sits ridged as a board. His brain desperately scrambling to make sense of it all then it hits him that maybe, maybe he still in dreamland. He hit his head, slap his cheeks in an attempt to escape whatever situation he is in right now.

But nothing changes. Unable to comprehend what had just occurred between him and the girl. He tries to calm himself and take a deep heavy breathe. He wants to stand but for the moment, his legs have given way to gravity, shaky, weak.

Nonetheless, he pushes himself to stand still, wear his jeans, walk towards the closet and take a blanket. His brain has stopped working like some sort of emergency shut down. There's zero thinking going on in his head. His movement halt when he kicked over a dark blue crystal marble causing it to roll and hit the wall. For a second, he thoughts of the marble, where is it comes from? but he shakes the random thinking and allows his body to move by its own and do what he feels right at the moment; to cover the girl's body then remove the duct tape rope that tied her ankle.

He has no idea whether to wake the girl or not, he doesn't know what to do next, trying to imagine countless of scenario that might happen when the girl wakes up. Is she alright? Will he root in jail? Will this girl accept his apology? What will his brothers say? How will they react? Will his father beat him to death? And more importantly, what will Mina say to him? Will she thinks he's a monster? Disgusting and hideous.

He falls on his knees and finally sits, leaning against the wall while his head drop. He can do nothing, or specifically, he doesn't know what to do. All of different feelings come at him at the same time, guiltiness, sadness, shame, frustrated and scared of himself. He still trying to accept what he has done or hit his head again and again trying to recall even a single scene from last night but, he failed. He knows that he is drunk last night and probably did the most unforgivable sin to an innocent young girl.

After a few minutes, he stands and walks closer to the brunette, notices that half her face covered by some kind of ripped. Chaeyoung slowly removes a green tape that covered her mouth. There, he feels as if his world just burned into ashes. He starts gibbering nonsense and quickly turns away.

It can't be

That's absurd, they may look similar

Gathering his courage, he swallows hard as he faces the girl again. Not wanting to believe his suspicion, he brings his hand near her face and takes the clothes that been used to blindfold the girl.

Chaeyoung instantly looks away, his lips tremble and his shoulder heave with emotion. Toppling as he takes a large step backwards. His face falls faster than a corpse in cement boots. At that moment his skin became greyed, his mouth hangs with lips slightly parted and his eyes are as wide as they could stretch.

Tears threatening to escape as he falls on his butt. His legs feel so weak he can't stand on his feet, instead, he tried to crawl to get near the girl. With trembling hands, he quickly untied the rope and support the girl's hand as it falls. He takes time, he cups his mouth to not make any noise as he weap. Tears streaming from his eyes, heavy sob tearing from his throat. Unable to speak, unable to breathe. He could no longer see clearly, his hands open and close, rhythmically clenching trying to reach the girl's face and wake her up.

"M---Mina yah"

He stops, regains himself as he tries to stop his tears from flowing nonstop, staring straight at Mina's condition; how there's a cut on her eyebrows, blood on her lips, dark purple bruise lining her neck. Chaeyoung swipes the girl's strands of hair that covered her face and held her hands. He notices a familiar bracelet she wears on her wrist, the friendship bracelet, it makes him cry harder, refusing to believe that the girl is really his best friend.

"M--Mina yah" He calls again, caressing Mina's cheeks slowly, gently.

Mina awake by the touch, she doesn't say anything for a minute as they stare at each other. She form a faint smile when she realized that in front of her is Chaeyoung. When she noticed her hands no longer tied and she can move her feet also the blanket that covers her body, she feels that somehow Chaeyoung probably found her and save her. Happy that she's no longer in that horrific night. With all energy left, finally, Mina says a word, forcing herself to speak despite how dry her throat feels it's burning.

"Where's the man? Do you catch him?"

Chaeyoung doesn't say anything but lowering her head, not wanting to make eye contact. He let his silence be the answer. Even he himself, have no idea of what's happening, he can't remember anything.

Mina shakes her head, slowly get up from her position, and sits leaning against the headboard, hugging the blanket to cover her exposed body. She knows that, everything is like screaming to her that it's him, but she knows better, better than anyone that it's impossible. So, she asks the same question again but to no avail, Chaeyoung keeps his mouth shut.

That's the moment where it comes to realization for Mina, that there's no use to avoid or run from reality. She needs a confirmation at least, no matter how the situation is very obvious for her and for him to knows what exactly happened, no matter how she notices Chaeyoung's behaviour, no matter what her mind tells her; She still believes him. That night, she can't see anything, there's no proof that it's him so instead, she asks.

"I-Is it you?"

She waits as Chaeyoung's only sitting on her knees, not saying anything. The muffle sobs wrack against her chest, bit her tongue when she can't any longer hold her tears streaming down her face. As much as she tries to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. Weak sobs, weak sniffles.

"I---I'm sorry"

Mina closes her eyes as the words leave Chaeyoung's mouth. She wants to scream, she wants to kill him, she wants to run, she wants to say more but with her condition right now, she can do nothing.

Mina push herself with all she can, she wants to leave the place as soon as possible and the only things she can do is to escape. She gets off the bed, takes her lingerie that's on the floor, snatches any random shirt from Chaeyoung's closet as hers already tore. She walks herself to the bathroom, let the blanket that covers her body falls, then change into her jeans and Chaeyoung's shirt. She doesn't mind how sore she feels, the pain, and the blood on her body, limping for every step she takes. How messy and horrible she looks.

Chaeyoung who's been following Mina catches her wrist when she's about to leave standing before the door. He knows that it's his fault but he still wants to explain or apologize, Wait No, he thought I don't even deserve forgiveness

Mina doesn't turn around when her wrist grabbed by the younger from behind, for her, all she wanted is to leave. They stay like that until Chaeyoung breaks the silence.

"M-Mina" He begs, grip tightening on her wrist, he curses himself for doing something disgraceful especially to someone he cherishes more than anything. He feels miserable.

"D-don't call my name, L-let me g-go" Mina fight, using her right hand to remove or let herself free from Chaeyoung's grip.

"Please, N-Noona"

"Son Chaeyoung, let me go, please, y- you're hurting me" She cries out.

Chaeyoung looks down then sees the wound, red marks on Mina's wrist from the rope. He quickly pulls his hands when he realizes his grips are too tight. Mina leaves as soon as Chaeyoung's hand falls, leaving the younger alone falling on his knees, with clenching fists. He let his tears fall eating all the pain away, throbbing in his chest. He repeats the same words.

"Sorry"

-to be continued-


	16. Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Mina walks slowly while her hands are on the wall, clasp onto it supporting her weak body. She falls after a few steps, can't stop her tears from forming and falling tracing her cheeks. Her body hurts a lot but it's nothing compared to how her heart feels, the pain it brings. She's completely broken, inside and outside.

She reaches her pocket, thankfully her phone still there. There's nine missed call from both her sister, four from her parents and eleven from Jeongyeon. Tons of unread messages from them. They are worried since she doesn't come home that night.

Ring

Ring

"U-unnie" Mina stutters, reaching for her sisters.

[YAH! MYOUI MINA! Where the heck are you?!]

"C-can you p-please come and g-get me"

[Are you crying, what's with your voice? Is everything alright?]

"Unnie plea---please"

[Alright, we'll pick you up. Where are you? ]

"I'm in front of Ch-----" Mina shuts her mouth. She doesn't want her sisters to pick her up in this condition at Chaeyoung's apartment. They'll start interrogating and come after him.

[In front of what?]

Mina blink and compose herself "I'll text you the address"

With that Mina ends the call and text her sister, saying she's near the park they always went to when they were a kid, not so far from Chaeyoung's house but that's the farthest she can make. She doesn't want them to suspect him or anything. It's the least bit she could do because he is once her friend. She moves with a slow, heavy, and awkward way. Ignoring some stare on her as she covers her face with her hair, walking with a lowered head.

She falls asleep out of exhaustion when both her sister fetch her up. She sleeps in the back seat, head on Momo's lap while Sana is driving. Shocked by Mina's state, Momo wants to wake her up and question her about it but Sana insists to let the latter rest and wait until she explains what, how, why is she like that.

They bring her to the hospital for a further checkup but as soon as Mina awake, she started to cry, begging her sister to leave the place. Momo tries to convince and force the younger but both of them stop when they realize that for the first time; Mina, they beloved, sweet, cold, savage little sister look vulnerable.

Sana turns to the back seat, side hugging Mina, which the latter respond after she flinches from the touch. She wraps her arms tightly around her older sister's waist, while continue pleading. Momo burst bombarding the latter with continuous questions, she's getting frustrated with Mina for not telling them what happens to her or let them take care of her. Sana signal Momo to cool it down, and when Mina already calm, Sana pulls out from the hug and ask the younger what she want them to do.

"J-just, c-can we leave, I don't want to be here, and I-I don't want to go home" Mina pleads.

"Okay, then we'll head to Jihyo place, is that fine?" Sana asks softly.

Mina nod from the remarks, lay her head on Sana's shoulder still sniffling, then falling asleep. Momo drives to Jihyo house, helping Mina to walk then let her sleep comfortably on the bed.

The three thought of thousand scenes that might cause Mina to be in her state now but no one wants to believe their suspicion when they come into the nearest possibility. Sana as the oldest become furious at the thought and ask for help from Jihyo's aunt, who's a doctor to take a brief check on her sister while she's asleep.

Few moments after, Sana suggests to drug her little sister to sleep when she's been check-up by the doctor just in case she will suddenly awaken and throwing tantrums like earlier.

They wait outside, leaving the doctor and Mina alone in the room. Nothing could explain how mad and shock they are when they heard what the doctor says afterwards. Sana breaks down, pitying the little girl. The noisy sobs echoing through the house.

Later that night, Mina sudden scream alarmed the three who are still discussing what to do. They can't exactly make any action without the latter knowing or make false assumptions. Sana runs towards the room where Mina is, furious when she sees her sister keep screaming, crying and kicking in the air while her eyes closed. She wakes Mina up, and wrap the latter in a tight hug, consoling her while the other two watching them just a few steps away.

"Mina, who did it?" Sana asks, trying her best to comes with her normal voice. Mina who's hugging her knees raised her head and face them with altering shock.

"H-how do you know?" Her eyes shivers.

"Answer me, Mina. Is it Jeongyeon?" Sana demands in an intimidating way, she needs an answer so they can help her. They can file a police report or directly call them, but they need Mina's words. Momo who's been staring at them suddenly walks away, cursing while ruffles her hair. Jihyo stops her, knowing that she will kill jeongyeon on the spot when Mina doesn't say anything. Sana doesn't want to accuse anybody, they want to ring Jeongyeon and ask about Mina since they are together last night but again Mina stop them from doing so.  
All of them get frustrated as Mina keep her mouth shut. She also doesn't want her sister to tell her parents either.

"Alright, Mina this what we gonna do. I'm really mad at you right now but I know you'll tell me when the times comes, you don't want to file a police report, you don't want to tell our parents, you don't want to go home, you don't want to tell anything and we'll agree." Sana sigh. "We'll listen to you, just tell us when you need anything or any help with." Sana once again pulls the younger into a hug, a very long hug, hoping she can assure that the little girl is safe and she can rely on them. They go downstairs, before helping Mina to go to the bathroom to clean herself and wear new, comfortable clothes. Sana wants to help Mina to take shower since they notice how the girl wince in pain when she moves a single muscle, but Mina refused and says she can handle it herself which Sana obey after arguing.

Mina stands in front of the mirror. She takes her clothes off, and stare at her reflection. She sees how miserable she looks tailing the damage on her body. Thumbprint bruises on her thighs. Blood on her underwear. Cut on her arms. A tight pain in a place she never knows could hurt. She's a bit relief, some of it is easy enough to hide except her broken face. There is one she pained her the most, that unquantifiable hurt: the slow break on the inside that nobody could see.

Later that night, Mina huddle under the stars-and-moon comforter and wish she could die. Too scared to tell her parents what had happened, afraid of the judgement of others, afraid that people will see her as a weak, irresponsible, vulnerable and labelled as the girl who asks for it. She just trying to help her friend, her brother, the one who she trusts the most. She learns to sob soundlessly into her pillow.

Sana made up a story and lied to their parents about Mina not returning home for a while and surprisingly they her. Mina has been resting in Jihyo's place for days and weeks until bruises on her arms and face fade. She closes herself in the room for the whole day and rarely talks, only when being asked, even her reply is as short as it could be. Sana even helps her to take leave from her college. It seems like Mina is emotionally, physically and psychologically drained.

It's Sunday morning where Sana and Momo don't have any class so they decide to stay at Jihyo's house. They are grateful that Jihyo let their sister stay in her house, it's the only suitable place they can hide Mina for a while because Jihyo lives alone.  
2 o'clock in the afternoon, Sana receives a call from Tzuyu. She's a bit sceptical because as far as she knows they are not in a good term and hasn't contacted each other for months now. Nonetheless, she answers the phone call and only listens intently to what Tzuyu has confessed.

Without no other words, she abruptly ends the call as soon as Tzuyu finished talking and walks upstairs. Clueless Jihyo and Momo only followed Sana footsteps, until they reach the room where Mina stays. They find the younger sitting on the bed, while hugging her knees.

"Speak. Chaeyoung is it?" Sana warns, needing a confirmation. "The guy who did this to you" She adds. Mina instantly looks up then avoids Sana's threatening stare. Burying her face inside her palm.

"Chaeyoung who?" Momo interrupts, thinking whether there's another Chaeyoung.

"Son Chaeyoung" Sana clears. Staring at Mina who still silent. The two gasp from the statement before Momo runs away, leaving the place. Sana starts chasing while Jihyo consoling Mina who currently crying nonstop.

"Imma gon' cut his di---" Momo jabbers as she rushes to the kitchen and grabs the largest knife she could find.

"Momo, MOMO Yah!! Stop what are you doing, drop the freaking knife. What the heck are you thinking idiot!? Calm down and put that thing where it belongs. Drop it!!" The older yells and walk towards Momo, taking the knife from her grip before she smacks her head. "That's not how you do it!! A knife is too easy and small. We'll steal dad's Katana later okay, cut his whole body" Sana growls.

"Yo'r scarier" Momo state staring at her sister while beaming a weird smile at her. She chuckles and walks herself to the living room. As for now, they listen to Mina's decision and follow what she wants as a way of support. They still think that Mina needs a therapist because of the nightmares, but the younger keeps insisting she doesn't want any help.

It happens when once, Mina let out a scream while she's sleeping. Sana who's beside her wake her up by shaking her body until she has tear-filled, sleepy eyes looking right into hers.

"What's wrong?" Sana asks, kneeling in front of the younger while holding her hands, keeping her warm.

Sana remembers when the nightmares first started. Mina told her that she got them most nights and always told her that she never remembered what they were about, but tonight, Sana knows she's no telling the truth. "Mina, please" she whispers.

Mina take a deep breath, and look right at Sana, "Every night, I went through the incident over and over again"

Sana stop breathing, she could have sworn that crickets stop chirping, the trees stop rustling, her whole world stop. She thought Mina is doing good, she thought with rest she will back to normal but the damage it brings is far more worse than she had expected. That's when they realize, Mina needs help.

Mina has been ignoring everyone, for the time being, she needs time to collect herself and decide what to do. She doesn't want to meet Chaeyoung as for now. She doesn't expect him to come and beg for his forgiveness too, and he doesn't. Chaeyoung shown up or never contact her since that day and she preferred it this way, for him never appear before her eyes anymore.

Sana believes anyone is capable of anything under right circumstances, a person who actually goes ahead and does that deserves to be shut out. Maybe they will talk later on in life, but for now, zero communication is the least Chaeyoung deserves.

-to be continued-


	17. A Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Remorse. Guilt.

That is how Chaeyoung feels at that very moment. He wishes for a Time-Turner so he could go back, rectify the mistake - the worst of all he had done.

However, he could not. Impossible. He had to live with it. Remorse etched at his heart. Guilt gnawed like a worm at the core of an apple. A tear trickled down his cheek, memories flooded his mind.

It's never easy for him, blaming himself for what he had done, regret washes over him like the long waves on a shallow beach. Each wave is icy cold and sends shivers down his spine, how he longed to go back and take a different path, to never drunk himself, he should have just went home that night. The remorse will eat at him every day of his life.

He has been locking himself in his room, skip meals, slowly letting the guilt to play with his mind. He believes self-harm is one way to pay for what he had done. Thinking that if he hurt himself then he could kill the demon inside him. He makes mistake, he knows it, he feels it, he capable of doing it. He never knew that he need help, that his condition becomes worst.

"Don't let yourself consumed by regret, like maggots are in their guts. Stop analyze every action and word from every angle and writhe in the agony of paths untaken. What's done is done. Don't waste your time on regret, take responsibility for it" Dahyun squat in front of his little brother. It was Chaeyoung who confessed himself and asked them to look after Mina. Tzuyu then alarmed the Myoui's sisters. Of course, the brothers didn't believe him at first but after seeing how Chaeyoung acted, they are left bewildered and puzzled. Definitely, Chae received punches from his brothers, enough to wake him from keeps drowning himself in his mixed emotions.

They know something isn't right, Chaeyoung has low alcohol tolerance, he always passed out after a few sips. Tzuyu thought it's odd and speak his mind to Dahyun but they put their suspicion aside for now and focus on Chaeyoung.

As for Chae, his life basically a mess right now, he didn't dare to call or text Mina let alone had the courage to actually meet the latter. He didn't have the strength to face the girl just yet. He always hoping that whenever he woke up in the morning, everything will be back to how it used to be, or he wishes that he will never wake up. Running away from his problem.

It's painful for him to accept the fact that he just hurt someone he loves, someone he wants to protect but at the end, it's him who hurt her.

There hasn't been any contact between Chaeyoung and Mina. She moved back to her parent's house. Until now, she never talks to Chaeyoung and avoiding Jeongyeon whenever he shows concern, calling and send her text. The girl lies that she's sick and there's no need for him to visit her, she just needs some time. Jeongyeon understood and waits patiently for Mina to open up. The guy still regretting his small fight with Mina weeks ago and just wanted to apologize.

Sana has helping Mina to recover by secretly goes to meet counsellor although the younger refused at first but finally agreed. The younger thought she could deal with a counsellor is rather than a therapist because after all, she also wants to feel normal once again. She had been skipping classes for days and shut her world. It is hard for Sana and Momo to keep the secret and persuade their little sister to go to college since they don't want any rumours or she being absent for too long.

* * * *

Everything is calm for now, It has been weeks since the incident. Their parents didn't question much as the visible bruises on her face and arms already gone.

It's hard for Mina but she listens to her sister to confront Chaeyoung, there's no point of avoiding it when they will talk about it later. Both of them knows that they can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far. Things will never be the same again and they aware of it.

The two sits on the bench at the park. The most memorable place for them. Momo and Dahyun only watch them from afar, even the conflict between Mina and Chaeyoung affected the soon to be married couple.

The storm has ebbed to nothingness. They've been sitting there for half an hour, side by side. A visible gap is noticeable between them. Silence hangs in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground, like a poison that slowly paralyzing them from either speech or movement.

"I-I'm really sorry," Chaeyoung says stuttering, he can't bear the deadly silence. That silence that screams with his sin. It's unnatural, void, refusing to be filled to prolong his suffering.

His words fly with the wind as there's no answer from the latter. It makes him nervous in a whole new level, how he wish he could dig a hole and bury himself. Again, silence engulfs them for an exact minute. He could see from the corner of his eyes, glancing to her side where's Mina blankly staring at the lake upfront. Wondering what she's might thinking right now.

"I forgive you" It's like a whisper, luckily Chaeyoung caught her words, used to her soft voice. It is surprising for him when he finally registers the meaning behind it. His eyes widen, never expecting it would be the answer. For him, it makes things more terrifying. He thought his life is over when they meet. He even prepared himself for any physical attack or any curse thrown at him but, no, nothing. She just said, she forgives him.

He doesn't know what to feel at the very moment. He turns his body and faces the girl, tears escaping his eyes as he asks the reason.

"Why?"

There's a thick, heavy, suffocating air surround them. Mina could hold the heartbreak no longer, she starts chewing on his lower lip as her eyes wells up with tears. She calms herself by taking a deep breath, wipes her tears before she faces Chaeyoung.

"Because....you're my best friend" She croaks between her sobs, failed to let her tears silently rolling her cheeks. She stands from the bench and beams a genuine smile at him, covering the pain she feels inside."Let's not meet again, that's the only punishment I can give to you" She adds and leave, not giving Chaeyoung opportunity to says a word. Brick by brick, her walls come tumbling, her legs weaken as she clenches her fist to prevent herself from falling and break down.

Momo helps Mina to walk when she noticed how the girl forces herself to look strong when she's not. She wraps her arms around Mina's shoulder as they walk towards the car. Side hugging the latter when finally, she broke down entirely, her defence wash away in those salty tears.

Dahyun and her fiance exchange a faint smile before he runs towards his little brother, Chae's shoulder shaking with grief as if he lost everything that means the world to him while tears are streaming down his already wet cheeks. He hugs the younger, never he thought that he will see this side of Chaeyoung, his absolute weakness.

* * * *

Mina thought that was the end of them. Although it's hurt to lose someone who's important for her like losing a part of herself, she cannot and never turns a blind eye for the incident that had occurred. Though her parents questions the reason for Chaeyoung never visit them anymore, her sister always there to rescue along with the help of Tzuyu and Dahyun.

It has been exactly two months since the incident, she thought everything will be fine but it's never that easy. These past few days, she feels different. Somehow her mood swings getting worse, she gets easily tired, some part of her body feels sore and pain. She doesn't think much about it though and brushes it off.

Sana who's been observing her little sister is afraid that her suspicion of Mina's condition might be true. She hasn't said anything for the time being. She gets worried when Mina acted weirdly plus when the morning sickness started.

When she can't handle it anymore, she drags Momo with her and rushes to Mina's room. Making sure to lock the door, before she sits beside Mina who's currently lying on the bed. The younger is resting as she told her parents that she's sick, the reason why she vomits this morning.

Mina sits up, leaning against the headboard as she shows questioning look towards her sisters. She appears pale and weak which concerned everyone. Momo who also has no idea what's happening just follow the flow.

"Mina. Tell me, when is the last time you have your bloody ninja attacked?" Sana asks, holding the youngest hand. There's no answer even after a few minutes has passed. Mina takes the calendar sis on her bedside table and starts counting. No, the answer is she hasn't for the two months. Mina shakes her head whispering that it's not possible.

"Mina yah, stop denying. You're not dumb. I know that we're thinking the same thing." Sana raises her voice a little when the girl seems not listening to her. "Here, you know what this is right? Just to be sure, go and check it" She hands Mina a pregnancy test that she secretly bought the other day as she knows that it will be useful to clear their doubt.

With the help of Momo, they drag the little girl to the bathroom on the second floor. Although Mina verbally refusing, deep inside, she's also curious while a huge apart of her scared of the truth.

Her sisters wait outside while Mina in the bathroom. She takes a long heavy breath, holding tightly to the tool that she wants to crush or throw away. Her left hand working back and forth over the newly healed scars on her shoulder. Her legs feel like they are no longer hers and she begin to tremble the same she always did in deep winter cold.

She stands still in front of the mirror staring right at the pregnancy test whilst her thumb covering the small panel on it. Slowly she removes her thumb with fasten heartbeat, sweat starts forming on her temple as she exhales deep breathe.

1 line.

Please, she utters pleading, hoping that's the only it.

2 lines.

-to be continued-


	18. Liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"Abortion?! It's sinful! Are you out of your mind?! You're basically taking the life of a tiny human being. And it's your child Mina yah.. I'll always support you but this is just wrong" Sana shouts, standing in front of her little sister who's sitting surrounded by the three. They spend their weekend in Jihyo's house to avoid their parents and to find solutions for Mina's condition. The girl has been crying nonstop after knowing that she's pregnant, lose her appetite, insomnia and again locking herself. She speaks her mind to save her dignity and to end everything. She knows she's being selfish but she can't bear how the society will look at her.

"This is not my child! I never wanted this to happen!....Dad and mom, they'll be disappointed at me... Have you thought what will people say!? You don't even know how I feel!" Mina rebukes between her sobs, hitting her stomach for every word she utters. For Mina, her world just ended.

How is she going to go about her life without any sense of normalcy or security or dignity? She's too embarrassed, too afraid. She will become that kind of girl, the one they talk about in the news when some man rapes someone and the judge or cop justifies it by saying the girl is asking for it or she put herself in that position or that she is giving a mixed-signal. Mina doesn't want to be that girl. She doesn't want to seems like she's weak or irresponsible or promiscuous or vulnerable. If she has to kill the child to save her life, why can't she?

Momo by her side, trying to calm and stop Mina from hitting herself. Jihyo sigh as she squat and hold the younger's hands "Listen, this child is something beautiful come from something terrible. This pure innocent child can be light and joy. We love babies. We'll always beside you........We can do this" She assures.

They stay silent as they watch Mina weeping. It's impossible to hide Mina pregnancy, but they will try their best to cover it up until they come into something. As for the girl, she doesn't say anything. The image of a cute baby before her makes she feels better. Mina always likes children but having them this early had never crossed her mind. Maybe the child can be the one and only reason that stops her from suicide. Maybe the child can bring happiness and love. That's what she thought at the very moment.

* * * *

Mrs Myoui knows that something wrong with Mina. The symptoms that she shows can only mean one thing. She's getting worried when her daughter's sickness becomes severe and, how Momo and Sana acting weird and defensive these days. As a mother, somehow she can feel it. The uneasy gut.

She asks her daughters when Mr Myoui goes to work leaving them alone. The three sits across Mrs Myoui at the dinner table. No one has the courage to tells the truth. They never saw their mother look so terrifying, they could die from the stare. It takes a few minutes before Sana opens her mouth. She tells Mrs Myoui everything since they know they can't avoid this. Sooner or later it will happen, so there's no use to lie plus Mina's stomach getting more and more visible making it no way for them to hide the fact.

"M-m-mom?" Momo holds her mother's hands slowly but snapped when Mrs Myoui pull her hands while she looks so unfocused. She covers her face with her palm as she cries. She can't explain what she feels, or what she should do.

"I-Is this true?" Mrs Myoui asks Mina who's looking down, fidgeting with her finger as she cries. She feels a sense of guilt, thinking that if only she'd done more to protect her child this wouldn't have happened. "And why do you just tell me now. It...must be hard" Mrs Myoui stands and walk closer to the youngest, hugging Mina as she rubs the latter back to console her. "I'll talk to your father about this. It's not your fault so stop crying. It makes me sad, okay" Mrs Myoui wipes her daughter tears and smiles at the girl. She can't deny that she's mad, but creating fuss only make it worse so it's better to accept and learn.

That night, she goes to her daughters' room and gives them each a kiss on the forehead while they are sleeping. She takes time when it's Mina's turn. She sits on the bed beside the girl, stroking her hair and finally kisses her forehead as tears escaping her eyes. Even she can't imagine the pain Mina is going through. She decides to support her and not to question the girl's decision.

To give birth to the child.

* * * *

"F-father" Chaeyoung utters as he stands from the bench he's been sitting on. Mr Myoui had listened to her wife about Mina and he basically going crazy. He never thought that Chaeyoung out of anyone could do that. He doesn't believe it and calls Chae to meet at the park so he could explain himself.

Chaeyoung heard from Sana that their parents already know and he better prepared himself. When he got a ring from Mr Myoui, he almost fainted from nervousness but have to take responsibility."Father.. I-I'm sorry---" his word stop when a fist hit the bridge of his nose, stumble and fall for the impact. He quickly regains himself, standing with his hand in his back and waits for another punch then he got it right on his left cheek. Spit the blood before again, he pushes himself to stand and wait for another attack but it stops.

Mr Myoui shut his eyes and exhale deep breathe. He sits on the bench, stares into nothing while Chaeyoung fall on his knees. "Stand up, and sits." He follows Mr Myoui command and settles down properly, his eyes never leaving the ground. "If it's random people, I'll kill him but...it's you. I've heard from Momo that Mina doesn't want to meet you again...but she's pregnant right now. What are you going to do about it?" Mr Myoui growls. Chaeyoung stop breathing, he doesn't remember how. Unable to speak as the word pregnant bounces around inside his skull. Is it wrong that somehow, a small part of him, that tiny spark that almost covered by guilt, is actually happiness?

"I-I'll take responsibility" Chaeyoung stutters in his word. It's painful to not see Mina for the past few weeks and how he handles the mixed emotions he feels every single day. How he wants to kill himself whenever he stands in front of a mirror. Now, there's an opportunity for him to make things better and even excited for the unborn child.

"I'll talk to them later...and I still haven't forgiven you..." Mr Myoui leaves the scene with his clenching fist and heavy step as he walks away. Whilst for Chaeyoung, he really wants to raise the child even if Mina hates him, he'll apologize again and again until the girl opens her heart. He will not lie about his feelings either. When the time comes, he'll definitely tell her.

* * * *

The Myoui gather in the living room with Mina beside her mother. "I want to raise this child alone" Mina states as she rests her hands on his stomach, not making any eye contact with anyone. Her mother supports her decision and will help with the care of the child. She always wants a grandchild so she's not exactly opposing her daughter's words.

"No, you can't. That child needs a father. Chaeyoung wants to take responsibility for it. We know that he's a good guy just.... This is an accident...he didn't mean it..We all know that. Let him be your husband" Mr Myoui sigh, giving Mina a faint smile. He thought that is the right thing to do even though his words against her daughter. If they persuade her a little bit more then maybe Mina could change her mind.

"Accident? He didn't mean it? Drinking can never be an excuse...it's unacceptable behaviour of him. Why he can't control himself?! Is he trying to blame it on alcohol or are you trying to say it's my fault, that I'm so weak to protect myself?" Mina spits "I will raise this child alone and I don't need anybody!" Mina loses her temper and starts shouting. The thing that she keeps thinking about. We can't blame the girl for her aggressive behaviour after everything.

Sometimes the trust that is broken is so huge in its own essence, that we are not able to forget it. Even if they come to you saying sorry for what they did, you only wish to take the blame on yourself for trusting them. How can she be with him when she can't trust him anymore? She's upset that from now on, she can't believe him.

Later that night, Mina feels guilty for yelling on her parents and thought that she needs to apologize for misbehaving. But she will stick with her decision although she knows deep inside her that it's not Chaeyoung's fault entirely. She forgives him, really. But no matter how hard she tries, the memory of that night is still there. She wants to forget and be happy but It seems like herself is more broken than she thought.

Mina pulls her blanket up to her shoulder as she curls into a ball, hugging her knees. She closes her eyes, hoping that she can sleep in peace without any nightmares.

First, I'll always protect you.

Second, I'll never hurt you.

Third, I'll love you and care for you as a friend and little brother

"Liar"

-to be continued-


	19. Grudge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Mina doesn't attend her classes when unpleasant physical symptoms affect her feelings in the early weeks of pregnancy. Nausea and sometimes vomiting is happening all day, and occasionally be very severe. She also has to deal with new emotions arise. She's anxious all this time during these early weeks and still finds it hard to believe it's really happening to her. But despite all of that, somehow there is also joy and excitement.

It seems that the sudden pregnancy is too much for her weak body. Mina was born prematurely. While some premature babies have serious medical complications or long-term health problems, many also go on to live normal healthy lives including Mina. Some people suffer development disabilities, infections of the lungs or brain, asthma, hearing loss and many more. Luckily, the latter's case was not that critical but her immune system is weaker compared to normal people.

That's why her parents always pay more attention to her since a common cold can lead to more when it's for Mina. The girl doesn't want her child to feel the same pain she carried all her life. Determine to take good care of her child and give birth to a healthy baby.

These days, she keeps feeling tired and run down, having tender breasts, dizzy and sometimes faint. She has been resting inside her room all day, and have no energy to go anywhere. Her family especially her mother always beside her since she knows more, taking good care of her daughter.

Though the girl wants to meet Jeongyeon, her body won't allow it. She doesn't want to let the guy hanging and waiting for her, trusting her lies. She feels guilty and embarrassed to tell him the truth. She comes with a conclusion to break up with him rather than explaining herself. She can't bear to sees Jeongyeon in pain when he learns to knows what happen to her.

She doesn't expect that Jeongyeon will come and visit her without her knowing. The guy can't accept Mina break up call and rush to her house. Soon after he arrived, he goes upstairs knocking on Mina's bedroom. He's anxious and worried at the same time. Although he knows something is wrong with the latter these past few weeks, Mina asked him to wait and he did but the breakup call is so uncalled for.

The door swings open revealing Mrs Myoui with a panic look as she cries. Talking like she doesn't have enough time to say what she needs to. Her words are crowded together and some are missing. Jeongyeon leaves bewildered, trying to catch anything. He averts his eyes to the bed and walks inside when Mrs Myoui pointing there and her words become clear. She's asking for help and ask Jeongyeon to take Mina to the hospital. He runs towards Mina who's sitting against the headboard, bleeding as she bites her lips in an attempt to endure the pain inside her stomach and the cramps.

Jeongyeon almost falls on his knees when he sees blood. He does not move a single muscle and stand still, sweat dripping down his temple while his eyes shaking. Some flash of memories that he wants to forget playing inside his mind, blurring his vision and makes him lose his focus. Mina's scream snaps him from his awful experience and he quickly dashes towards the girl, carried her straight to his car.

They go to the nearest clinic and waits outside as Mina gets to examine. Jeongyeon is still breathing hard and walk towards Mrs Myoui, consoling the already crying woman. He excuses himself to the bathroom and washes his hands that covered by blood. He splashes some water on his face and looks up, staring at his reflection. He closes his eyes, struggling in coping with flashbacks and dissociation that just encountering his triggers.

He walks out and waits for another hour before the doctors allow them to see Mina. He's so confused and tries to make any sense of it. He keeps asking Mrs Myoui regarding Mina's condition but she won't tell him anything but wanted her daughter to confess. Soon, all of the family members are there and all of them are so concern. They get inside Mina's room, and there she is lying helplessly, looking so thin and pale.

Jeongyeon waits at the corner of the room with both his hands inside his pocket as the Myoui surround Mina. Worried can be seen on their face. They talk to the girl for some time then Mina notices him. He beams a smile and makes stupid faces causing Mina to chuckle at the sight.

Mr Myoui clears his throat and walks towards Jeongyeon. He straightens his posture, gazing rather intensely as Mr Myoui approach him. Mr Myoui put his hand on Jeongyeon's shoulder and thanking him, which makes him force a smile.

Then they left, leaving Jeongyeon and Mina alone. He walks closer and sits on the chair beside the bed. The girl seems to avoid eye contact and just stare at the other side. Jeongyeon heard the conversation between the doctors and Mina most likely miscarriage and they will put another test tomorrow since the mother is in more risk so they let her rest for now.

He has a lot to ask, a lot to say and a lot to explain but seeing the girl, he keeps it to himself for now and does what he could do the best. To wait, until Mina tell him everything, he won't force her. Silence engulfs them as no one say a single word. He only wants to make sure that the girl is alright and want to be there for her.

He then heard a sobbing sound and get worried since he can't see her face. He walks to the other side just to witness Mina's tears tracing her cheeks.

Now Mina's right in front of him. Her fingers are white-knuckled which then holding the edge of Jeongyeon sweater, asking him if the baby will be OK. He tells her yes over and over again, stroking her back. Thinking that he needs to calm the girl.

Jeongyeon wipes the crystal bead that keeps escaping Mina's eyes. He isn't pushing the girl and just be there for her. If only he can do something to makes Mina feels better than he will, but there's nothing he can do.

The girl stops crying and trying her best to sit up. Jeongyeon helps her to sit properly, making sure he doesn't put any unnecessary pressure on her stomach.

"Why don't you ask anything?" Mina says, she keeps her head low as she fidgeting with her fingers. Jeongyeon is aware that the latter looks so bothered and uncomfortable to talk.

"I won't force you if you don't want to talk about it. I can wait. Just tell me what to do so I can make you feel better" He says as he moves his hand to hold Mina's. He freezes when the latter flinch by his touch and pull her hands.

"Please, stop pushing me. Are you really want to break up. You hate me that much?" He monotoned. Mina doesn't say anything neither Jeongyeon. He stands and walks away.

As for Mina, she's afraid of Jeongyeon's reaction when he knows the truth. She doesn't want to see him hurting because of her. What if he'll go mad and blame her? Will he think she's disgusting? What if she hurt him? That's exactly what keeps the girl from telling the truth.

* * * *

Jeongyeon walks himself to the rooftop, screaming his lungs out. He ruffles his hair in frustration then punching the railing repeatedly. His knuckle starts to bleed. A tear rolls down from his left eyes and he quickly wipes his face.

He regains himself and sits on the bench still sniffling quietly. He thought he has no emotion left, that he is doing perfectly now but the pain comes to him like a new fresh pain although he had to go through it countless time. He hates whatever feeling that washes over him now. He never knows it will hurt him this deep.

The blackness and loneliness seem so familiar to him. He tilts his head skyward and sees a clearly millions of bright stars dotted on the black canvas of night. Somehow, it makes him feel at ease. A faint smile crosses his face as he exhales a deep breath.

"I miss you so much, mom. Don't get me wrong, I still resent you for leaving me alone....you should just have taken me with you...then I don't need to be hurt or hold this damn grudge" He half-whisper, it's too much, too heavy that it's drowning him. Feels like he will never be okay again. You'll never beat a monster if you don't become one. And now, he is a monster.

-to be continued-


	20. Last Candle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

That night, Jeongyeon stay in the hospital taking care of Mina. He calls the doctor when he notices the girl is trembling in her sleep and also running a fever. Her symptoms shown that she's getting flu since her immune systems are suppressed. The flu comes on quickly and the symptoms are more severe than with a cold. The doctor recommends rest and shot plenty of fluids, along with antiviral medication to shorten the span of the symptoms and prevent serious complications.

He turns around when the doctors take Mina's blood for a test to evaluate a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, or confirm that her pregnancy is progressing healthily. After they leave, he sits on the chair staring at Mina's sleeping face. Her brows furrow as she keeps mumbling something. To him, it looks like she has a nightmare. He leans closer, his thumb caress gently Mina's brows hoping that it helps in some way.

Mina wakes up and it's 2 am, she feels thirsty as she keeps coughing. She tries to move her left hand but couldn't. She turns her head to the other side and notices Jeongyeon sitting on the chair while his head on the bed. He falls asleep while holding the latter's hand. Mina smiles softly as she stroke Jeongyeon's hair. The moments of insecurity rush through her when she again thought about telling the truth but somehow his reassurance makes her realize it doesn't really matter.

* * * *

Mr Son flight back to Korea when he heard everything from his oldest son. He's worried for Chaeyoung and Mina. Never he thought that something like that will happens to them considering how close they are as a friend. This times he's going to stay a bit longer and pay more attention to his sons. Maybe it's also his fault for leaving them too long and only focus on his company.

He calls Mr Myoui and they meet at the park. It's almost sunset, they sit on each side of the long wooden bench. The scene is very familiar to them, watching kids playing in the playground. Maybe they finally can be real for the first time, and stop pretending.

"I'm sorry for Chae's wrongdoings" Mr Son breaks the silence itself that can be unnerving. A ghostly slice or emptiness can be eerie. Or perhaps the calm after a tornado surrounded by the visual display of destruction.

"Like father, like son huh?" Mr Myoui scoff under his breath but loud enough for the other to hear him. Mr Son closes his eyes in an attempt to hold his anger that building up. He doesn't want to start a fight, not at this age. They are old enough to bicker and shout at each other. But that mindset doesn't stay as long as he loses his temper when his old friend keeps digging the past.

"But it was you! You left h--" He doesn't finish his sentence when a punch lends on his left cheeks, making him stumble and spit blood from his mouth. Then that punch is the start of another and another.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Both of them back to their place, sitting on each side of the bench with bruises all over their face and messy hair. They don't say anything after the fistfight but staring blankly upward, the sun has gone to rest, the moon takes his place as the darkness begins to surround them.

For them, the sky is as beautiful as it is deadly, bright as your wildest dreams but dark as a nightmare. It can set them free, drunk on sky, or trap them in invisible barriers that confine and leave them heavy with desperation. Reminding them of their own fault and realization hits them that even after years, it can't be buried. It was a fault their younger self did, a stupid and arrogant them. Thinking it back, they were still a teenager, knew nothing and did the biggest mistake of their life. They were left with choice but unfortunately, they picked the wrong one.

"Aren't we too old for this" Mr son says, chuckling when he turns to his side and sees how awful his old friend looks like. Mr Myoui only nods to the statement.

"Anyway, how it goes with the searching?" Mr Son shakes his head in disappointment as an answer to the question. Mr Myoui stands and cheers his friends to not give up and keep looking even he himself assigned his men. They contact each other frequently if anyone has an update. After a few small talks, they then have dinner together and catch up with each other.

* * * *

Dahyun and Tzuyu had been going around, investigating the incident of that night. For them, something is definitely off and it's not helping at all when Chaeyoung can't remember anything. They asked Mina the where bouts of the club Chaeyoung went to.

They have to drop some money and luckily the club manager let them see footage from their CCTV of that night. But it's all a waste of time when the tape the recording for that day is missing. They get so frustrated when there's no clue and lead at all although they know exactly that something suspicious. Clearly, there's someone behind it and there's sabotage going on or even worse.

But the culprit did a mistake, something out of his control. No one predicts that on the same day, there was a big party held by Tzuyu's senior inside the club. Everyone takes a picture and some take a video, capturing Chaeyoung and another guy, who both of them don't recognize.

Tzuyu asks help from his senior and gathers all the footage of that day. Although the video itself is a mess they succeed in having a clear vision at that guy. They show it to Chaeyoung and immediately he knows him and recall a few of his memories. Yeah, it's him, Mark. He tells his brother that he met him that night and went for a drink.

Tzuyu finds it very ambiguous and looks harder. It's almost midnight which leaves him alone, checking every single clip that he has, thanks to his senior. He rubs his nape as his eyes got heavier. He suddenly raises his head that set on the table, leans closer to his laptop screen and pauses it.

"Wait. Is that drug!?"

* * * *

Jeongyeon bows in front of his mother grave before he sits. He stays for a long time, not saying anything but only there. It feels so cold and empty but somehow it's like a part of him. His shoulder barely sinks below the level of the ground before the sun is blotted out and he feels himself being sucked in darkness. His best friend, flattering and cool. His only favourite thing.

He stands when it's time to leave and bows again. Somehow, he doesn't cry when he visited his mother's grave, the feeling that left inside him is hatred. The only candle that alive inside him, lightening the void with its fire. That's it, nothing else.

"I'm sorry, Mom" He smiles bitterly then leaves. A grin that worth a loaded gun.

-to be continued-


	21. Wronged 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Mr Son and Mr Myoui are hanging around the town, like how they usually did in the past. Playing some classic arcade games, like Pac-Man, Asteroids, Centipede and many more. For some reason, they still find it fun to play and never gets old. They watch car racing, even betting on who'll win. For the night, they go fishing, it is not because they want to catch fish but more to enjoy the moment of silence and the sunset in the ocean.

They are sitting beside each other on a boat, waiting for a catch. During two long hours, nothing occurred until Mr.Son break the stillness "Will Cherry be okay with it. Isn't it too much for her?" He asks, turning his head to face his friend. Worried expression plastered on his face.

"That's for the best. For both of them. I'm afraid, if we just let it be, things will repeat itself" Mr Myoui insists after a long sigh. He leans back to his chair and closes his eyes. Still contemplating if he chooses the right path this time.

Mr Son nods in agreement then suddenly something comes into his mind. "Wait, but Cherry has someone right?"

"That's what troubles me much. That kid looks like a good guy and Mina seems to like him..." Another heavy sigh leaves Mr Myoui mouth. He fixes his position and sits up straight, gazing at Mr Son. He grips his shoulder and taps it "..But, I know Chaeng better. I've decided"

Once again Mr Son only nods and smile "I can't say anything, it's not my place. I'll talk to Chae regarding this" They turn away and focused on their fishing rods.

"When I first heard the news, I thought you're going to kill Chae," Mr Son says, eyes fixed on the scenery in front.

"I am mad but not to the point I lose my sanity. Besides, I treat him like my son"

They stayed silent, only the sounds of waves can be heard.

".....sure...." Mr Son sighs.

They give each other one look then exchange a faint smile before averts their attention back to the sea.

* * * *

"It doesn't change anything!? Are you stupid! It's not your fault!" Dahyun shouts, shaking Chaeyoung's shoulder. He is sitting on the floor while hugging his knees, leaning against the bed. Dahyun runs his fingers through his hair in frustration of the youngest stubbornness.

"And how can you be so sure it was a drug?" Chae's voice sounds croaky, he removes his brother's hand in one swift then glare at him. He's not going to lie that it's tiring; everything. When his brothers told him that he might be drugged, somehow he's not surprised or mad, just exhausted. To him, that fact is useless. So what if he was under drug influence that made him lose his conscious? It didn't change the fact that he, HIMSELF did it. His only hope is a time travel machine, even if it possible.

"Certainly it is! What is it then huh!? A sweet vanilla powder? That Bark guy-----"

"Mark" Tzuyu corrected. He's standing with folded arms, silently watching the two.

"Mak! Whatever his name is! He's the one to blame! A dwarf-like you can't even stand a few sips of beer. Isn't it makes sense now? The reason for your....agressive behaviour that night" The last few words are said in a whisper as it leaves Dahyun's mouth.

"Drug Or Alcohol. It just the same Hyung. It. Is. All. Excuses!" Chae snaps leaving his brothers speechless. Before Dahyun pushes the matter further, Tzuyu step in, dragging the oldest with him as he walks towards the door. He glances to Chaeyoung before closing the door behind him.

"We just want you to stop being so hard on yourself. I'll cook dinner and this time please eat it. You look like a dying chicken in an upside-down hen house. And take a bath! You smell like shit" Tzuyu scolds.

Chaeyoung let out a small chuckle by Tzuyu straight-forward remarks or nags but it doesn't stay long. He falls back into his fetal position, bringing his knees together and hugging it close to his chest. He's not crying anymore, for some reason it stops. He just stares into nothing for hours with his swollen dry eyes.

* * * *

Jeongyeon comes back holding a jar of warm water on his left hand while the right is a bouquet of sunflower. He smiles as he gets near to the sleeping penguin, places the things on the bedside table then arranging the flower in a small vase. He takes a seat and pours a glass of water, a bit guilty as he must wake the girl from her peaceful sleep.

"Mina yah~ wake up please~" He sings in a random rhythm that comes into his minds. Gently brush her hair aside and playfully poke Mina's cheeks. He repeats the same things, again and again, patiently waiting. His smiles get wider when the girl starts to whine while rubbing her eyes.

He helps Mina to sit up properly by supporting her then dipping a straw into the glass. "I'm not a baby" She laughs and pulls her hand to hold the glass but stop when she heard Jeongyeon groaning. He glances at her side, only to witness pouting Jeongyeon. She sighs then nod slowly "Alright~ alright~"

Jeongyeon smiles then placing the straw on Mina's lips. "Slurps slurps" he jokes causing Mina to giggles on his childish act then start drinking.

After she's done, Jeongyeon helps open the curtains to let the sunshine in. "Mina, what did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?" He, all of the sudden asks, back facing the girl. Mina tilts her head in confusion, she doesn't know the answer plus she can't answer him cause her mouth still full of water so she just shrugs. He turns around then walk closer.

"Bison (bye son)"

Mina spits the drinks directly on Jeongyeon's face making the guy freeze. Her face gets redder as she can't hold her laughter. When she finally regains herself, she starts to laugh again seeing Jeongyeon wiping his face with tissues, he doesn't expect that he did well this time.

"That's terrible" She blurts still laughing while hitting the bed.

"But I got you there" He smirks. Very proud of himself.  
.  
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.  
.

The day passes by Jeongyeon fulfilling Mina's wish to watch all Harry Potter series basically movie marathon. They sit side to side on the bed with a laptop on his lap. They even talk about what houses they will be in. Jeongyeon is not really a fan but he had seen all of it, he thought that the sorting hat will definitely place Mina in Ravenclaw; knowing the girl is very intelligent but prefer to stay to herself. It was hard to approach the girl after their first meeting. He felt really bad when Mina was paired with him for an assignment cause, she literally did it all by herself. That was the time he realized she was the one he is looking for. Then had been secretly leaving love letters inside Mina's lockers.

He smiles when he remembers it. Jeongyeon turns to Mina when he heard a sob. Chuckle awkwardly as he has to console the girl when she starts crying watching the scene where Professor Snape died. He grins and wipes those tears with his thumb.

They proceed with 'Beauty and a Beast' which is Jeongyeon's choice. The girl hasn't watched the remake yet but she knows the story really well so she thinks it will be boring, not until she sees the actress.

"Hermione!" She shouts.

"Nope. She's belle now"

"What is she doing there with all the muggles" Mina complains.

Jeongyeon just facepalmed in his minds but keep his mouth shut. The girl is so engrossed with the movie that she doesn't notice a pair of eyes staring at her. Jeongyeon is thinking so hard about telling the girl his past, will she accept him? Ironically he is just like the Beast, abandon since young and wanting to just be free and be loved. And Belle exactly like her, a smart and undeniably beautiful young woman.

When the night comes, Jeongyeon gently put Mina into bed, close the curtain then back to his seat. He caresses Mina's hair hoping it will help her fall asleep faster but the girl seems wide awake. "How about I'll tell you a story?" He suggests as they stare at each other. Mina just hums as a response.

"Mama tomato, Papa tomato, Little tomato, and Baby tomato were walking down the street. The little tomato was lagging behind. So, Papa tomato went to little tomato, stomped his foot and said: "Catch Up!"

Once again the girl burst into laughter on the lame jokes he did. Although for some people thinks it is not funny, well she finds it hilarious and brilliant. "That's doesn't help me to fall asleep Jeongie~" She whispers trying not to disturb any other patient since its night.

"Seeing you smile makes me happy" He whispers back, laughing at himself. How can that gummy smile makes him forget real his intention and falls for her?

"Now, now let's sleep. It's past your bedtime already. We don't want to be scolded by someone who maintains or restores human health through the practice of medicine" He adds as he stands and fixes Mina's position, to sleep on her left side.

"A doctor?" She chuckles.

"Exactly"

Jeonyeon lay on the couch that sits a few feet away from Mina's bed. He always spends the night on the right side to watch over the girl. They remained a good eye contact before Jeongyeon breaks it "Nighty night Mina yah~" He lulls then close his eyes. He can't take it any longer, it feels like his heart going to explode.

"Good night" She mumbles then fall into a deep slumber.

Jeongyeon peak then opens his eyes when he's convinced that the latter already in dreamland. How can I sleep before you? I'll be watching you like this in case you'll suddenly need anything.

* * * *

Chaeyoung is still locking himself in his room, though he's alive and breathing it seems like his souls are gone. If it not because of his brothers, he's probably dead right now. His grade falls and he frequently escapes classes but nothing ever bothers him that much. He doesn't care anymore.

He's sitting on the balcony of his rooms. Once in a while, he will look up in the sky searching for a bright star even one. But sadly there's none and funny it is, only a black canvas nothing else. He continues his drawing; a hand holding a single rose tightly causing blood to drip nonstop by the thorns.

It's petals shine in beauty, it thorns show it pains

He's interrupted by a knock that reveals his dad, standing outside waiting for him. He quickly stands and walks closer, wondering what it will be. "Yeah, dad?'

"Do you have time tomorrow?" Mr Son asks

"Why?"

"We need to talk"

\- to be continued-


	22. News 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Tzuyu calls Sana yesterday and asked to meet. And here there are in the playground, sitting on the swing. Tzuyu finds it can be both relaxing and exciting going back and forth. He doesn't fail to notice the latter beside him who's looking lost in her thoughts, sitting like a statue and barely blink. He's been waiting for her answer and while doing that he can't restrain himself the sensation of flying through the air with feet sticking out and the world rushing by in greens and blues is a traditional rite of passage. After all, we have those sides in us. Childish.

"Is it true?" Sana begins.

Tzuyu catches the words and abruptly stop the swings with his shoes, leaving a mark on the sand. He sits up straight, a bit intimidated by Sana's tone and way of speaking. It sounds firm and scary. "Y-yeah" He curses himself for stuttering on a simple answer.

"Have you found that Mark guy?" Sana asks.

"No, No one ever sees him after that day. It looks like he runs away" Tzuyu have been searching Mark, asking his friends and even investigate his background to know where he lives or with who. Apparently, all come to no avail, the only clue he knows is Mark is American and his house is empty as it seems like he planned everything beforehand.

"So, is it all about revenge?" Sana proceeds, little by little remembering the guy's face and how it is stupid when he's the one who cheated. Is it because he thought that Chae is the reason for their break up?

"Probably" Tzuyu nods.

Sana knows the reason Tzuyu meet her is to deliver the truth to her sister. But she thinks that now is not the right time considering her sister's health condition. "Mina's emotion is still unstable, I feel bad for Chae but let's not tell Mina for now. Later, when she already gives birth, I'll explain to her" She says breaking the silence.

"Well, I have to go. I haven't visited Mina this week. If you have time you should come too, she'll be happy to see you" Sana stands up from her seat. She faced Tzuyu and flash a smile before walks away.

Well, discussing his brother's problem may be the reason for their meeting but that is not what the guy hoped, he thought they could talk about them. Because of the incident, everyone focuses on Chaeyoung and Mina, they barely talk about anything else than that. Barely meet without any purpose. He kinda misses old times when they still a kid where everyone is happy. No problem, no headache, only happiness.

Before he can think about it further, his half-awake state interrupted by a scream. He turns to the sound and jumps from his seat, running towards Sana who's kneeling on the ground. "Why? What is it? Are you okay?" He questions while helping Sana to stands properly. He notices her knees are bleeding then hurriedly take out his handkerchief and wrap it around like a bandana then tie it tightly. He notices how the girl winces from the pain and thought that Sana will always be Sana. A very pain in the neck but a cutie pie clumsy squirrel. And this trait that he finds very annoying at first is the reason why he falls for her.

Tzuyu looks up, sighing before he stands then face Sana. That's when he realized something odd. "You don't cry? Well, you always did when you tripped and hurt yourself"

"I'm used to it already," Sana says as she slowly removes Tzuyu's hand that place on her shoulder; indicating that she doesn't need his help to walk. Whilst the guy knows what it means, he pulls his hands then clear his throat. "I can handle it. Thanks for helping" She adds then make her way, limping in every step she takes. Tzuyu only nods then watch Sana's back her getting far and far away. That's it? Is it happening again? Did I just let her go and do nothing?

He clenches his fist, pressing his lips hard. He knows very well he should chase after her but for some unknown reason, his feet are glued to the ground. He's watching her leaving. Again.

Something hit his legs causing him to stumble forward. He looks down and sees an arrow toy between his legs thinking that thing was the one that hit him. He picks it up then turns around, tilting his head when a cute little boy wearing an oversized white t-shirt and no pants on just staring blankly at him. A brown handmade pouch attached to his slim waist containing marbles ball toy. He guesses the kid is three to four years old based on how small he is. He then notices the boy holding a bow. "Seems like it yours" He bends down and hands the kid the arrow, smiling as he gives it to him.

Tzuyu raises his brows when the boy suddenly push him onward while pointing at something. He follows his hands then finds Sana on the ground again. He restrains himself from running to her and just stays in his position, not until again that boy push him. "Go to that beautiful girl?" He asks, while at the same time thinking what the heck is he doing with this kid.

The boy nods vigorously as an answer.

Tzuyu looks at Sana and back to the boy and Sana and to the boy again. He smiles then bid him goodbye as he runs towards the squirrel. Whatever! I don't care anymore. Listen to your heart for once Tzuyu yah He speaks to himself.

* * * *

Mr Son waits for Chaeyoung to get ready as they will have some bond time as a father and son. Chae is taking his time cleaning up his bedroom after the continuous nagging by the youngest before he off to meet someone. The room is completely gross. Even he himself can't find the carpet from a layer of various items scattered about. It is worst than a polluted lake. He stops cleaning and thinks everything looks just fine without any random items on the floor even though he just stuffed it on any drawer as long as it is hidden. He sighs then fix clothes before come out.

"What the heck is that on your head" Mr Son examine his son from head to toe. "You look like a lion that just woke up" He adds while sighing, shaking his head. To be honest, he's very disappointed in Chaeyoung, how the latter handle the situation of his problem is basically running away. The right things to do is to meet Mina and ask for forgiveness every single day no matter how the girl hates him. He should put effort if he really is sorry. But instead there he is, avoiding to face the truth, hiding and running away, wasting his life, doing nothing but exuding negative energy.

But who is him to say that, or to complain. Even he himself did the exact same thing, even worse. Mr Son just hopes that Chaeyoung will not end up like him. There's a simple way to solve the issues. However, it all depends on Mina.

"This is unplanned but, follow me" Mr son continues with Chaeyoung trailing him. Both of them drives off to what Mr Son will call a temple of manliness known as a barbershop. After a clean sharp haircut, they watch a live baseball game rooting for their favourite team. It is good to see his son cheering and look excited. It's been a while he had seen a smile on his son's face.

After hours, the sun is sinking as Chaeyoung hiking uphill following his father. His legs start to feels numb but he doesn't say a thing and just proceed walking behind the 40's old man. He got good stamina Chaeyoung thought while panting and finds a stick to support him.

Another hour then Mr Son stop on his track, he spread his arms then take a deep breath "We're here" He says but frown when there's no response. He looks back, chuckling to see his son lying on the ground, looking half-dead. "Come on, kiddo. Stand up, you don't want to miss this" He mocks.

Chaeyoung only glares at his father before forcing himself to stands. He's about to protest but stops when he sees what upfront. His mouth agape in awe, watching the line where heaven touches the earth. His wide eyes witness the resounding glowing collision. The sun cast its golden rays down upon the clouds of billowing smoke, turning them bright red. It is a beautiful landscape.

Chaeyoung doesn't realize that his father is no longer beside him as his full attention is on the scenery. He glances at his side, raising his brows in confusion when as he gets near his dad. Mr Son standstill in front of an apple tree, back facing him.

"Is talking to a tree your new hobby now?" Chae asks then chuckling when his dad jolt by his sudden interruption.

Mr Son smiles softly then touch the trunk "It is not just a tree. It's a special tree" his fingertips after the initial that crave on the trunk. Chaeyoung leans closer, narrowing his eyes as he tries to at least recognize a few alphabets.

S. H. M & L. D. Y

"That's you right? Son Heung Min. Then who's that? Definitely not mom. Are you cheating all this time?" Chae exposes, giving his dad a questionable look.

"What!? No. She just. Just an old friend. I miss her so I come here"

"Well, where is she right now?"

"She was called home, is in a better place"

"Ahh" Chae nods slowly, regretting his words earlier. He sometimes should shut his mouth. Thinking he probably hurt his dad's feeling. He wanted to ask more about that old friend seeing she looks so important to his dad. Though he never knew that the girl already passed away but he did aware of the ring necklace his dad always wear. It happened when he was twelve, his dad once took his necklace off and accidentally dropped it. Chaeyoung picked it up for him. A same initial written on the ring.

"She really likes to eat apples, that's why we both grew this tree together. Sadly, she never had the opportunity to taste the fruit" Mr Son grieves. His head hangs low recalling a bubbly, sweet and pretty girl playing with a kite while he secretly drew her. How happy the girl whenever someone mentioned apples or how the girl will always fight with him over small things. He then remembers something, the real reason why he spends the day with his son.

"I almost forgot, I said I want to talk about something important didn't I?" Mr Son starts.

Chae that has been listening to the entire time, staring at his dad and nods. He's also forgotten about it already. "Yeah?"

"You're going to get married" Mr Son started, shocking the living out of his son.

"Huh? W-wha--"

"With Mina"

\- to be continued-


	23. I hate you 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

It's been a few days Jeongyeon stop showing up. Although Mina will always nag him to not wasting his time to come every single day after class ended, she finds herself waiting for him. When the guy missed a day, she thought that he was probably busy or tired from college so, he didn't visit her. But, now it's almost a week and she starts to get worried if something happens to him. She looks at her side, witnessing her oldest sister smiling by herself as she plays with her phone.

Maybe something good happens to her. She let out another sigh then glance to the clock that attached to the wall, it's already past visiting hours. So, she concludes that Sana is going to sleep here when usually it's Jeongyeon. "Say Sana-unnie, do you know what happens to Jeongie? I'm worried about him. He hasn't contacted me for a while. What if something bad happens to him?" Mina asks staring at her sister with pleading eyes hoping that she knows anything.

Sana takes her eyes off her phone when her younger sister starts a conversation. Though, she knows exactly what happens to Jeongyeon and why he didn't visit her. "I haven't heard anything from him" She feels bad to lie but she can't say a word. At least not her, she doesn't want to witness or handle Mina when she learns to knows the truth. A mad penguin is a whole lot scarier than any predator, well that what she thought.

Her father already tells them what his plan for Mina and the baby. Though Mrs Myoui disagrees with him, it looks like her father already made up his mind. For her, Sana doesn't really have a say in the matter, she does understand both her mother and her father sides. She decides just to follow the flow and see what happens. But when she thinks more about it, she feels so bad for Jeongyeon knowing that the guy loves Mina and how unfair it is for him. Sana doesn't expect that Jeongyeon going to give up easily and just disappear without a trace.

* * * *

A few days ago.

Jeongyeon was sitting beside Mina who was sleeping soundly. Staring at her, admiring her beauty. He visited Mina again like how he usually did, and after spending time together just talking about random things. He had to do some assignment, so he leaves Mina alone reading her book while he kept with his things. Typing on his laptop and did some research. Once in a while, the girl will feed him grapes but neither of them taking their eyes of what they were doing. It just like that until Jeongyeon sensed no movement from the latter, he peaked and chuckled when she found Mina was already in dreamland.

He held the younger's hands and realized it was cold, he blew gently and rubbing it together, hoping it will make her warmed. He did notice that Mina flinched whenever he touched her but she didn't say anything and just smiling awkwardly afterwards. Since then Jeongyeon never laid a finger on her unless Mina initiated the first move. He only took the opportunity to hold her hands whenever she fell asleep, it was like assurance. That everything is going to be fine. That I'm always here and please rely on me.

His phone suddenly rung and he answered it in a flash, afraid that the sound going to wake the girl. Seeing the caller's name, Jeongyeon left the room and walked himself to the building rooftop.

[Hyung] The other line answered.

"I'm sorry for not contacting you. It's been hectic these days. And I'm burdening you aren't I? Are you fine by yourself?" Jeongyeon asked guiltiness rushed through him that all this time he hadn't called his brother.

[It's okay, Hyung. Besides, I am alive all because of you. Yeah, I'm living just fine in here. Anyways I'm calling to ask about Noona. Do you know where she lives? I want to visit her while staying in America before I leave for Taiwan]

"Yeah, it's better for you to visit her. The last time I talked to her, she was sulking that we rarely called her. I'll text you the address. And just contact me if you need anything okay?"

[Okay~ I have to go now. Call you later hyung]

"Alright" Jeongyeon smiled as he ended the call. He put his phone inside his pocket then a sudden voice calling his name causing him to turn around, revealing Mr Myoui feet away.

"Jeongyeon, I wanna talk about something" Mr Myoui said as he went near. He signalled Jeongyeon to follow him, then settled down on a bench. The latter felt nervous all of the sudden, hoping that there will be no bad news or anything.

"How are you with Mina" Mr Myoui started.

"Umm. We're fine. She's been recovering" Jeongyeon said, compliment himself when he succeeds not stuttering in his words. Mr Myoui nodded then sighing. He looked at Jeongyeon, with that pitiful eyes and grabbed his shoulder.

"I assumed you've heard everything about what happened from Mina. And I've decided to let Mina and Chaeyoung married after she gives birth" Mr Myoui sighed "So, I---"

"You want me to leave the scene. Is that what you were trying to say?" Jeongyeon hissed as he looked away with his already clenched fist. Mr Myoui only hummed as an answer, he did feel sorry for the guy but there was nothing he could do.

"But, why? I will take care of her and I'll treat the child like my own" Jeongyeon reasoned, he was in the edge of his anger. Trying so hard not to shout and kept his voice low and firm.

Mr Myoui froze for a second. That words that left Jeonyeon's mouth seemed very familiar to him. He knew someone who said the exact same thing but at the end of the day, that someone lied.

"I'm sorry" That was all that Mr Myoui had to say. Nothing but sorry. It was not because he didn't trust Jeongyeon but he thinks that Mina and Chaeyoung marriage was the right things to do considering he was the real father. "I'll give you anything you want. A car or house... Just anything" He added.

Jeongyeon scoffed, disbelief at how Mr Myoui tried to bribe him. After all, he's just the same as his parents He thought. Jeongyeon planned to forgive them because of Mina but seeing how Mr Myoui acted, it filled him with loathing. He choked up "You don't have to bribe me. I'll leave as you say. Now, I want to be alone"

Mr Myoui wanted to explain that he didn't mean it in that way but just gave up with the thought and muttered a simple sorry before he walked away.

Jeongyeon heaved a long heavy sigh, then closed his eyes, trying to control his mixed emotion. He found it funny how the event turned. I didn't expect that He thought.

* * * *

Mina is more than confused when all her family members gather in her wad room. She thought its Momo turns to stay for the night. Her father stands behind her mother who's sitting on her left side while both her sister are on the couch. No one says anything for a whole minute but just stealing glances at each other.

"What's with everyone?" She asks, wondering what's with the unusual behaviour and that suspicious face expression.

"I've decided to let you get married to Chae after you give birth" Mr Myoui just jump straight to the point. Thinking it's a waste of time beating around the bush.

"W-what! Why is it you who decides? It's my life. No! I don't want to" Mina turns away, breaking eye contact with her father. She's too mad that she doesn't think twice of what she just said to her parents and how disrespectful she is. Though the Myoui expected that how she will react.

Mr. Myoui step closer, his face darkens as she stares deeply at her daughter. Even he himself starts to get tired dealing with headstrong Mina. "I'd always fulfil whatever you wanted. Always agreeing to whatever you said. Always be patient with you. Just this time, is it so hard to listen to your father? Just once, Myoui Mina" His voice are firm, scaring Sana and Momo. They never saw this side of their father.

Mina doesn't know why but her father words hurt her deeply. She starts crying as much as she tried to hold it back but it just escapes. She bit her lips then lay down on her bed, facing her right side as she secretly sobbing, pulling her blanket to her shoulder.

"Mr Son and I bought an apartment for you two. Tomorrow, you'll discharge from the hospital. So, Starting that day, you'll live together with Chae. Let him take care of you, and rely on each other." Mr Myoui adds before he leaves the room.

Mina wants to protest but the amount of anger that she's feeling right now literally could let her do something out of her conscious. So instead, she just let her mouth shut. She wants to cool herself down and forget about the matter for a while as she tries to sleep.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Mina opens her eyes and found out that it's already midnight. She keeps praying that Jeongyeon will show up. She misses that guy badly. She stares at the clock, how she wishes time will stop. She doesn't want tomorrow to come.

She sits properly and notices Momo sleeping on the couch. She opens a drawer beside her bed, taking out a familiar bracelet. She let out a sigh as she stares on it.

I hate you

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	24. New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

The Myoui and The son arrive at the huge apartment with the sulking or more likely mad Mina trailing her mother. Begging, to persuade her father to change his decision. While, Chaeyoung hiding behind his father, afraid to show himself out of either shame or guilt or maybe both. He knows very well that he's the reason why everything happened. He hurt her, not just Mina but everyone around him, how the two families suddenly become awkward and drifting apart all because of him.

But, there's nothing he could do about it. He accepts the fact that things were already done. Blaming himself or hurting himself will not makes things any better. So, with that mindset, he'll learn and grow. Being a better person, a better friend, a good husband.

His thought interrupted when he feels a pair of eyes staring at him. He looks around until he locks eyes with Mina from across the living room, arms folded and a hellishly mean glare on her face. There's no softness in that gaze. It is a look that conveys a bubbling hatred. Disgust perhaps.

Chaeyoung nervously looks away while clearing his throat. He steps closer, this time clinging into Tzuyu's shirt since his father is currently talking with Mrs Myoui, probably apologizing.

Mina attempts in changing her parent's decision failed. Her mother doesn't even pay attention to whatever she's babbling about. Defeated, she only sighs and sits on the couch, pitying herself. She wants to massage her numb legs because of standing for too long but whenever she tries to bend down her back will hurt. And all the pain she feels caused by---- she glare at that certain someone. ----You!

Sana notices Mina who keeps frowning. Worried, she sits beside the girl asking if she needs anything or if she's tired. The younger only signalling that she wants to lay down. And with that, Sana brings her upstairs to the bedroom and carefully tuck her into bed. Mrs Myoui already nags Mr Son and her husband for being stupid enough buying a house with a bedroom on the second floor. Since Mina is pregnant it will be hard for her to climb the stairs but the two old man defending themselves with an excuse, saying that it's good for exercise. Both end up with a red face, after receiving a hard ear pull from Mrs Myoui.

Chaeyoung freely roams around the house when Mina no longer in sight. His father tells him that the house is near his college which makes it easier for him. And when he has classes, mostly in the morning, there will be maid assigned to take care of Mina for half of the day. He smiles seeing the furniture, colour pattern and how the house looks overall. Exactly his type.

Not until that smile vanish replaced with a disbelief look as he stands outside the last door he checks. Why is there up until the fourth door there's only a study room, an arcade room, a library and now a room filled with paint and canvas? Where am I supposed to sleep then? He thought. That question soon answered when his eyes caught a glimpse of the last door in the house, the room where Mina is sleeping peacefully.

* * * *

Chaeyoung gives his full concentration on Mrs Myoui lectures-- from the doctor appointment to the medicines Mina needs and to the diet-- he jots things so he wouldn't forget and ask a question when he doesn't understand. It feels like a weight has been lifted off from his shoulder when Mrs Myoui assures him that she will visit frequently.

They have their lunch together and Mina is still upstairs, her sister with her so there's nothing to worried about. They gather in the living room for small talk, everyone seems into the conversation except Chaeyoung. For some reason, he feels left out or it might just him who doesn't dare to say anything but only nod or laugh awkwardly.

The sun is already dipping behind the horizon. It's that time, they decide to take a leave. As much as Chaeyoung feels unwanted and uncomfortable around his own family, he doesn't want them to leave. He tries his best to buy some time, so they can stay with him a bit longer but still, he knows he has to deal with Mina's temper. Alone.

The girl goes downstairs to bid her goodbyes. She doesn't care to even look at Chaeyoung who's now silently standing behind a big vase beside the main door.

Those once joyful, bright and full of voices atmosphere are gone leaving both of them in deadly silence. Not even crickets make a sound, not even a car is around or anyone but only that howling wind sounds. Chaeyoung is actually waiting for the girl to get inside the house then he will follow her, but Mina seems not moving a single muscle. It's not even reached a minute they are in that position, but it feels hours for Chaeyoung. He swallows his saliva unknowingly holding his breath.

He almost faint to lack air as his face turns into a tomato. He starts to breathe normally when he feels ticklish on his neck. Out of curiosity, he snaps his head to his left shoulder and catches a glimpse of a big bug crawling on his collarbone then in his shirt.

It's an automatic reflex when he starts to scream. And does the weird dance of hitting himself and rolling on the ground. He looks like a dance maniac for a moment. Mina feels like her heart going to jump out her body when she heard that high-pitched shriek. She turns around, shocked as she sees Chaeyoung tossing right and left on the dirty mud then jump up and down wearing troubled face.

Concerned, she walks closer and about to help him to calm himself since she doesn't know what happens until she heard what the younger said.

"G-get off me!! Yah!! I said. GET. OFF!! You bug!" He takes off his shirt and starts shaking it out, hoping the method can get rid of the bug. "Sooo shoo!" He sighs in relief when it flies away, catching his breath as he weakly sits on the ground. Not realizing just how idiot he looks like just now, and apparently right in front of Mina.

He looks up when he sees pink sandals, then meets those dull eyes gazing at him blankly. He springs up from his position and stands erect with his arms by his side. As usual, he only stares at his feet as he's afraid to make eye contact. "S-sorry" he mumbles, it takes him whole courage to finally forms a word.

Wordlessly, Mina walks away leaving him behind. He chases after her but keeps that visible distance between them. Before Mina starts to climb the stairs to goes upstairs, he stops her by standing in front of her.

"L-let me help you. I-I know it hurts" He stutters.

"You know?"

Chaeyoung faces the girl as the cold, and sharp tone she uses painfully him apart.

He has never seen her look that way, her eyes have a deadness, a stillness. The girl who laughed often, the one who is everyone's sweetheart have developed a hardness. It's as if Chaeyoung could read everything Mina blamed in for in one extends glare, and forgiveness isn't an option anymore.

"What I mean i---" Without warning, she just knee him in the groin. He stays rigid in his position, then slowly like a mannequin he falls on the floor with a big thud. Never he expects that Mina will suddenly attack him in an unexpected place. His face reddening like it will soon explode as he opens his mouth but nothing come out.

"You know nothing," Mina says as she turns her back on and walks off.

"B-b-but that really hurts" He murmurs under his breath while crawling to find something to grab on.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	25. Fact 🥀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

|PAST|

January 22, 1992

"Riku!! I said MOVE!" Shouted a brunette girl holding a rolled-up newspaper, trying to reach behind the boy's back where her another immature friend was hiding.

"Guys, guys stop it! And Daisy yah~ please calm down a bit" Riku pleaded, standing in between both his friends. He was exhausted, dealing with them. Just a moment ago, everything was calm. They were in his house just wasting a Sunday. He was reading his books, too engrossed with it until he didn't aware of his surroundings when suddenly Heung Min ran towards him along with Daisy chasing after him.

He endured the stinging pain as he took the hit while trying so hard to make any sense of why they always ended up in this childish situation and why he always ended up being the victim. Heung Min stuck out his tongue, mocking the girl as he gripped tighter onto Riku's clothes while bending a bit to avoid a hit. It triggered the girl much more causing her to walk away then soon disappeared from the boy's sight.

They left dumbfounded. Heung Min stood properly and step forward "Loser!" He shouted as he laughed while holding his stomach. Riku was more than ready to scold his best friend when suddenly a flying shoes hit his forehead. He fell backwards and the last thing he heard was a gasp.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Riku eyes fluttered open and he woke up. His head aching as he scanned the room. Soon he learned to know that his head was resting on Daisy's lap while the girl caressing his hair with an apologetic smile. Riku returned the smile and start chuckling as he glanced to his side, witnessing Heung Min staring at him with a worried face. For some reason, he kinda gets used to whatever position they were right now. Once a week, it always likes that. Always.

He sat up slowly with the help from Daisy, supporting him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to hit you. I was aiming at this dumb rascal!" The girl pointed at Heung Min who only rolled his eyes.

"So, what actually happened? Why are two fighting?" Riku asked with a defeated sigh as he leaned back on the couch. "I made a domino building, patiently spending hours on it but this sprout over here! Just destroy it" Daisy shoot a glare at Heung Min, whereas the guy scoffed and stare at her back with disbelief look.

"Did you just called me 'sprout'? You ostrich twin!" Heung Min rebuked. And with that remarks, another fight started. Luckily they only throwing hates and shouting at each other, both didn't give a damn on what was the other saying. They stopped at the same time to catch a breath.

"Okay, now, now. Why did you even knock down the domino building?" Riku propped his chin in the palm of his right hand while his left was holding tightly Daisy's hand. "It was unintentionally! she asked for an apple and I threw it to her but it hit the building instead. If she's not lazy enough to get it on her own, then nothing of this would have happened" Heung Min raged while running his fingers through his hair, he's about to say some more when Daisy kept mouthing something, teasing him but he set aside the thought as Riku stared at him blankly "...Umm anyway, you good Hyung?"

"I'm fine, well only a small bruise. Just wondering when will you guys be nice to each other. I'm really having a severe headache whenever we met" Riku confessed, massaging his temple.

____________________________________

Mr Myoui let out a small laugh as he stares blankly at Momo and Sana who's busy making a domino pyramid in the living room. They look so focused on it and it somehow shook him to see his daughter so serious. He glances at the wall clock then to his daughter. Secretly leans forward to takes an apple from the fruit bowl that sits on the table. He throws it which perfectly hit the dominoes.

"W-ha DAD!!!" The girls shout in unison.

"Strike! Haha!" Mr Myoui laughs.

"Riku, that was mean" Mrs Myoui glare at her husband before taking a seat beside him. She then continues her knitting. Mr Myoui only chuckles nervously, it's rare for his wife to call him by his name. So, whenever she does, he always finds it terrifying.

"W-well, I didn't know you kids into domino these days" Mr Myoui states.

"Jeongyeon Oppa bought it as a gift. The day after Mina introduced him to us. I feel bad for him" Momo whispers the last sentence. If anyone asks, she is actually in Jeongyeon sides. The guy is kind, funny and sweet though she knows that her opinion is not important but deep inside her, she still rooting for Jeongyeon.

Mr.Myoui clear his throat and look away "Why don't you kids hit the bed. It's getting late already" He says with a slightly demanding tone. Both Momo and Sana clean up the mess then walk themselves upstairs.

Mr Myoui sits on the edge of the bed, doing nothing but biting his lips and staring into space. "I do not agree with your decision, but I understand why you did so. To pair Chae with Mina" Mrs Myoui ruffles his hair sending him back to reality. He looks up and smiles softly at his wife. "..anyway, look, I knitted a baby hat to give to Mina" She shows him the things she had been working for the day.

Mr Myoui takes it, he holds the hat tightly as he remembers a memory that he wants to forget but not at the same time. "You still not over it aren't you? It's true the saying A first love always occupies a special place right?" Mrs Myoui raises his chin so that she could look at him in the eyes.

"I'm just----"

"But it's true. And I know what is it all about. Just don't blame yourself too much, okay? I'm not saying that you're not in fault. But, I'm certain that she forgives you already. She's that kind and sweet person." Mrs Myoui smiles "Now...where's my hug?" She spread her arms and shrug and playfully glares at his husband "You hurt me a little, you know. The fact that you still think about her"

Mr Myoui grins and chuckles before he stands and embraces her wife. "Jelly jelly much huh? I l--- Ouch!" He gets cut when Mrs Myoui pinches his arms. She rolled her eyes though her husband can't see her face. He secretly smiles after a dumb idea pops up to tease her wife. He pulls out and stares at her with that unreadable expression as he tries to suppress his laugh. "You know. I still can't forget her simply because she's the prettiest woman I ever met. Haha...ha...ha? Why are you looking at me?....like that?"

Mrs Myoui stomps on his foot hard causing him to kneel in pain "T-that's hurt" He fake crying as he sits on the floor, grabbing his left foot.

"You sleeping on the couch!"

* * * *

Chaeyoung rests in the living room, leaning against the couch. He slowly placing an ice bucket where it hurts, don't know whether it works or not. Sighing, he groans as he gets into his feet. It's almost dinner and he needs to cook something. The maid will start working tomorrow, so as for today he has to do the works. It's not much trouble actually, he's kinda confident in cooking and already in tutor classes beforehand taught by his still-a-bit-mad-or-sulk mother in law. The only problem is what he's gonna do after he cook the dish? How he's going to approach the girl? Will, she eats it? Or will the plate fly and hit him instead? The last one is more likely going to happen.

He works in silence, moving and walking in an awkward way. It still hurts him down there. Carefully, left foot before right foot, one step at a time. He takes an exact one hour to finish the dish. A Chopped Chicken Salad. He decorates the plate with a final touch then clasps his hands together. Feeling proud of himself to not burning anything or turns the kitchen into a mess. He wipes his sweat that forms on his temple and removes his apron, gently places the dishes on the dining table then cleans the kitchen.

He takes a deep breath before he goes upstairs. An eggplant caught his attention as he drinks water for the ninth time. He smiles innocently before taking out the fruit from the fridge. With his woodcraft skills, he manages to successfully crave a small penguin; a carrot for the mouth and feet, sticking it together with a toothpick. He set his masterpiece on top of the dish, content on how it looks overall. Satisfied little cub he is, happily humming a song as he heads towards their bedroom.

Mina is lying on her back as she bites hard her lips, feeling mild to moderate cramping in her lower abdomen plus the pain in her right side. She breathes deeply, trying to fight it. Although she feels pain for almost the entire time, she still not use to it. Everything seems raw and new to her.

It's that time, where she's on the edge of falling asleep after continuously changing her position to find the right place where it less hurt. A rhythmic knock wakes her up.

She tries to ignore it but it gets louder and louder till the moment she feels like to murder someone. Though, she knows very well that she's in the weakest state and probably need a lot of help and for various reasons, she hates it. The idea of her looks fragile especially in front of him. She forces herself to sit properly, leaning against the headboard while tidying her messy hair.

With a final knock, the door swing opens revealing Chaeyoung with a tray of food. He's about to runs towards the girl, thought that something bad happens to her since there is no response. When his eyes meet the girl, automatically he breaks the eye contact and hangs his head in shame feeling the intense stare Mina give him. He silently breathes a sigh of relief, knowing the latter is fine. Slowly, he put the tray on the bedside table.

"I-I've cooked something for dinner" He mumbles as he sits on the edge of the bed. He takes the plate, places it on his lap with the intention to feed the girl. But all his effort comes to nothing when Mina refuses to take a single bite. She presses her lips together and looks away "I'm not hungry and please keep your distance from me" Luckily Chaeyoung is used to her soft voice, if it anyone else, they wouldn't know that the girl actually says something. He always thinks of it as an advantage but now, how good it would be if he's completely deaf. So, he will not listen to her answers or more likely her command and do what his heart wants him to do.

Chaeyoung back away and put the plate back in the tray "Please eat. I'll leave it here" With that been said, he steals a glance then storm off the room. Once the door closed, he falls helplessly on the floor, hitting his chest again in again. He chuckles bitterly recalling what the girl just said to him.

Distance. Mina's words are like a sword thrust, it wound him deeply by the tone she uses, or by the word she chose. It seems like they are nothing, but a stranger. The feelings are not only just a twinge of sadness whereas once, though they share a good friendship forged in the fire of adulthood and bonded through impulsive road trips, those spontaneous adventures, times where they need one another. No, It's more painful...

Since for Chaeyoung, it is not just friendship and Mina means more than a friend.

That fact torturing him, little by little.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	26. Dissimilarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeyoung settles down on the couch. He knows it when he examined the house earlier, that there's only one bedroom. ONE hella massive bedroom inside the gigantic house. He's been wondering if his father does it on purpose which is technically true. He put aside the thought of calling his father and vent his rage for doing him dirty. It's almost midnight when he keeps tossing right and left, uncomfortable with his new 'bed' he might call. He wraps his arms around his body, curling into a ball as he tries to warm himself from the coldness.

There's a sudden downpour and through the rain drenches air came the first long low rumbles of thunder. It's until that moment, he can't bear it anymore when he feels himself shivering. He springs up and sits properly, contemplating of doing what he has on mind. It takes him a while before he stands and walks towards Mina's room. He starts tip-toeing when he's in front of the door. Slowly, turning the knob while peeking inside, thinking that the girl probably sleeping. And he's right.

He heaves a deep sigh before getting on his hand and knees into the position of army crawl. Thank goodness, Dahyun teaches him after his military services. He never thought it will be very useful especially in this situation. Chaeyoung lifts his knees inches above the ground, making sure his entire back is flat. He crawls forward using the opposite arm and leg. Slowly and steady.

No wonder the one and only bedroom are spacious since it's supposed to fit both of us. He thought while still crawling. He gets near to the closet, open it and take a blanket with him. He happily hugs the duvet than realizing he needs to get out of the room as quickly as possible before Mina notices him. He starts to crawl again, thinking why the door is so far away.

That's when his left foot accidentally kicked the table legs, causing a pile of book fall and hit him on the face. The sound is loud enough to wake Mina up and when she does, Chaeyoung sense her movement and hurriedly hide under the bed. He bites his lips while covering his bleeding nose, feeling hopeless. Mentally cursing himself for risking his life just for a blanket.

Mina's eyes flutter open, she pushes herself to sit as she leans against the headboard. She glances over the window panes where the rain drummed on it. Both of them have a different perspective on the thunderstorms. One hates it, and the other loves it. It might be for Mina that the sound of heavy water hitting the ground makes her uncomfortable especially when it comes with such a ferocious wind that plant debris littered every street. Water gurgled down the asphalt into already overloads storm drains and the flora bowed to the gale. Trees and fences tumbles, insufficient to fend off the onslaught. Even inside the homes, the howl and beating rain are loud enough to scare her. It feels like the sky will open and eat her alive. For Mina, It is as though mother nature is keen to announce the beginning of fall.

As for Chaeyoung, it's pleasant to listen to the rain tapping on the leaves, to him it sounds like they're applauding him, congratulate him. Sounding like a mother will do to their son when they achieve a great result in the exam. Something he never felt. The wind whispering, the thunder welcoming. It gives him a sense of light, comfort, feeling like he's home and the mother nature is hugging him. Indirectly, telling him that; everything will be fine.

Their differences build a strong bond of friendship. They need each other in some situation. Perhaps that's why the stronger their friendship is, the stronger the wall is between them. Sometimes, the more we love, the more we're afraid to lose. And maybe, just maybe, being a friend is just enough.

Chaeyoung closes his eyes, enjoying the sound of overall while someone above him jolts when another thunderbolt struck, a flash of lightning unto the room. She falls back, lying on her left side, with the blanket covering her whole body. She's praying that the thunderstorm will soon stop.

Chaeyoung aware of the girl's change when the bed keeps squeaking. He knows it very well, that she might be terrified right now, that she might be hugging her knees, and she might need someone. But, he knows it too, that 'that someone' can no longer be him. Or is it just excuses? That the real reason he doesn't go for Mina is that, he's afraid? Afraid to explain himself, afraid what will the girl react when he suddenly shows up, afraid to witness the hatred in Mina's eyes, afraid to confront her. With that mentality, he chooses to stay under the bed until the morning, not sleeping but just silently there.

He waits and waits until the girl falls asleep and when he has a hunch that she already does, he slowly sneaking out. Massaging his cramping leg for staying too long in the same position. He steals a glance, seeing Mina's eyes closed tightly with furrows brows.

He remains on the floor, staring into space look-alike a mannequin. Firstly, he takes care of the scattered book and put it back to its place and takes forever to finally decide to come close and sits on the bedside chair. He hesitantly swipes Mina's bang and rubs her eyebrows with his thumb. From end to end with double strokes, barely touching it. Hoping it will ease the tension. And it works.

Chaeyoung smile when Mina is in deep sleep looking just peaceful. And just beautiful as she always looks like to him. He pulls back his hands and that's when Mina catches it, holding it tightly. His eyes widen and automatically hold his breath, it's so sudden that he freezes.

Mina's vision is blurry when she tries to open her eyes, her half-consciousness thought that it's someone else.

"Please stay...Jeongie"

Though Mina is only mumbling, he heard it, crystal clear. He chuckles bitterly and lay back. What am I expecting? He thought as he stares at the now sleeping penguin. The night is unexpectedly very long for him.

* * * *

The lines of glares that shoot for Chaeyoung's eyelids awaken him. He positioned himself and opens one eye seeing one curtain add an orange glow to the morning light. Then, notice how his left hand are intertwined with Mina's. The sight somehow makes him blush crazily then covers his face with his right hand in embarrassment. He knows that he might look like a complete idiot right now. But it doesn't really matter, as for him, at least there is an improvement in their relationship. Although he knows, he might be just a replacement or a rebound of someone special for Mina. It just makes him happy to hold the hands that once never separated from his.

Chaeyoung starts to panic when Mina reluctantly uncovers her face, blinking a few times. He quickly draws his left hand and naturally crawling back under the bed. Mina sits up and rubs her knuckles into her eyes, stretching her arms above her head. She tilts her head to the side, thinking that; weird enough, for once she got a nice sleep. Thought that she will definitely have a restless night because of the thunderstorm. But then, she just shrugs it off and yawns.

Chaeyoung nervously watches the blue blanket he supposed to take last night. It placed suspiciously beside the bedside chair's legs. He's afraid that Mina might question the reason why there's suddenly a blanket there and pick it up which going to expose him. He made up his mind and with one swift he plans to take it and hide, grabbing the sheet and pull it. Unfortunately, at the same time, Mina drags her feet off the bed, stepping hard on his numb finger.

"Ouch! T-that's hurts!"

Mina screams and jumps out when she sees hand creeping under the bed. With all speed, she grabs the table lamp and continuously hitting Chaeyoung who's currently having difficulty to stands properly. The girl is still screaming and asking for help. Since her eyes are closed, she doesn't know what really is happening but doing things out of reflex, defending herself.

Chaeyoung walks closer while his head already bleeding. He grabs both Mina's hand and worriedly stares at her. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close, gently rubbing her forearm. He notices how Mina's body is trembling and rigid as she still punching him on the chest.

"Hey, it just me. Chaeyoung, I-I'm sorry if I startled you...I'm sorry" He cooed.

It takes Mina several minutes before she can process everything. Her body becomes loose and slowly her hands fall to the side. In that moment of silence, there's that one second that feels like a hundred years for Chaeyoung, the sound of their heartbeat synchronizing. And he's scared that Mina could hear his heart beating so loud.

While the other is tired after the ruckus she made. She sighs and just standing there, calming herself. Not minding Chaeyoung's presence or the hug of gentle arms that still gives the space for her to breathe or even the fact that she bathed in his warmth and the smell of his natural fruity scent. None of that, really bothering, and even gives her a sense of comfort. Not until a flash of memory crosses her mind. She opens her eyes, unknowingly clenching her fist.

"Buzz. Off" She hisses.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	27. The Maid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeyoung closes the door behind him, sighing as he heads downstairs. He first takes a first aid kit with him then goes to the bathroom. Roughly, he treats the wound and cuts, cleaning the dry blood on his nose. He splashes the cold water on his face then looks up. Forcing a smile as he stares at his reflection at the mirror. But slowly his smile fades, and his vision became blurry when his eyes wet with tears. He quickly regains himself and wipes it while having difficulty to breathe. It's suffocating.

"Just stop. Stop crying." He mumbles with an irritated tone. Frustrated at himself for being so stupid. Though he tries, it's out of his control when the tears keep flowing.

"Stop already!" He slightly yells, slapping his cheeks in an attempt to wake himself but to no avail. It's useless.

"Stop...." Slowly, he sits on the floor with his already clenching fist then hitting his chest for nonstop. It's painful, the burning. He cannot breathe. There's that certain heaviness, he wants to get rid of. He put his hand on his mouth, bitting it hard. He doesn't want to make any sound, stopping himself to shout and let everything out. The flare of flame in his chest keeps him wheezing for air. Keeping the hurt to pile up inside of him. As much as he hates the feeling of pain, he somehow likes it because he believes he deserves it. Both the physical and emotional.

Unknown to him, someone is standing behind the door. Silently listening to Chaeyoung's whimpering, gasping and low sniffle. After a minute, the person blankly walks away and ignores everything she heard.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Chaeyoung stares at the meals he just cooked, sitting on the dining table. It's morning and he remembers Mina hasn't eaten anything since yesterday. Concerned, he rings Sana and asks for help to persuade Mina to at least grab a bite knowing the girl won't eat even if he begs.

Sana arrives and exchanges small talk with Chaeyoung. She gives him an apologetic smile before she makes her way towards Mina's bedroom, carrying a tray of food that Chaeyoung has prepared.

She knocks before she gets in, witnessing Mina who's still asleep. Sana sits on the bedside chair as she places the tray down. She stares at her sister who looks disturbed, sweat forming on her forehead while her eyes closed tight. Sana starts to panic when Mina's hand shaking uncontrollably. She hurriedly wakes the girl up as she sits on the edge of the bed. Mina jumps up with a gasp and snaps her head towards Sana. She sighs in relief realizing it's her sister. Sana pulls the latter into a hug, gently rubbing her back to calm her down.

"It's just a dream Mina-ya. Only a dream. You'll be okay. Unnie is here, lean on me, kay" Sana assures.

"I-I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I-if only I'm strong enough. If only I went straight home--" Mina mumbles between her sobs before Sana cut in.

"Sshhh, it's not your fault" She faced her little sister, flashing a motherly smile as she wipes Mina's tears while caressing her hair. They stay hugging as Sana waits patiently until Mina collects herself. She helps the latter with morning chores and hesitantly starts the conversation after Mina finished eating. She lied that she brought the food from home.

"Mina-ya, I'm really worried about you. See, you're not eating much" Sana says pointing at the leftover or more likely in a glimpse, an untouched meal. Mina only shrugs and shakes her head as she leans against the bed headboard. Sana comes close and holds the younger's hand.

"I would feel a lot better if you'd be willing to see a doctor or a therapist to get some help with this. And for your own good too"

Mina looks up and stares at her sister in disbelief. "Therapist? I'm not crazy why should I meet them? I can take care of myself" She snaps.

Sana heaves a deep sigh. She sees this coming. She knows Mina won't agree but she still wanted to try. "That's not what I meant, Mina-ya. I'm trying to help. Really. Until when are you going to continue this? If you refuse to treat yourself, then you can never be better."

Mina keeps her mouth shut, planting her gaze to god-knows-where, completely ignoring her sister. Definitely, she's mad and disappointed that her own sister will think that she is like someone who suffers from mental illness and can't even properly taking care of themselves. That's what she thought.

Sana takes the silence as an opportunity to let out what's her point of view after the incident and from what she observed. She carefully pulls Mina's chin so her eyes meet hers "Both of you are hurting. Can't you tell he's also brok--"

"I like to be left alone...please" Mina interjected.

Sana for the ninth time, sighing quietly as Mina's eyes plead. She smiles and taps the latter's hand before she walks away. She turned her heels and glance at Mina before closing the door. "Just call me if you need anything. Take some rest"

* * * *

It's midnight already when Mina feels her throat dry. She heads downstairs to grab a glass of water, her step stops when she notices Chaeyoung sleeping on the couch. She drinks first then goes back to her room. She takes a blanket with her, and again head downstairs. She slowly covers him with the blanket, afraid to disturb his sleep. She sits on the floor, sighing as she stares on Chaeyoungs face. Unknowingly, she pulls her hands, trailing the cuts on his face, hardly touching his skin. She stands and takes a first and kit and properly treat his wound. When she's done, she turns around, leaning against the couch. She brings her legs and hugs her knees as she buries her face.

"How can you fall asleep......while I'm breaking... "

* * * *

A knock wakes Chaeyoung up. He groans while rubbing his eyes and slowly get on his feet. He goes to the front door, wondering who's the intruder early in the morning. He smiles awkwardly as the stranger stands in front of him. It's a fine young woman. Her long dark hair is sweeps into an up-do and her make-up is well applied just at the right hint. She wears a white knee-length dress and a brown handbag hangs on her left shoulder. She has a lovely voice, dulcet when she introduce herself.

That's when Chaeyoung remembers that, a maid will start working today which also means that college starts. He quickly snaps his head up, glancing on the wall clock. Cursing under his breath when he only has 30 minutes to get ready. He invites the maid enters the house and waits for him until he finished.

He peeks inside Mina's bedroom and successfully tiptoeing to take his clothes from the walk-in closet. In no time, he's done within a few minutes then sits across the maid.

"Umm, you only have to clean the house and take care of her, she's on the second floor. If there's an emergency, please call me or this numbers" He hands a piece of paper containing his phone number and Mina's sisters "And, every 30 minutes, please keep me updated, you can just text me about what she's doing or if she's throwing tantrum. She's pregnant so, yeah her mood swings kinda severe" He chuckles while scratching an imaginary itchy on his nape.

"And...I'll cook for breakfast and you can do for lunch. I don't think I can manage to get home before lunchtime." Chaeyoung stands and walks towards the kitchen. Though he's late, he still wants to cook breakfast himself. The maid only eyeing him from the back, laughing quietly when he takes a full 10 minutes to slice a carrot.

He's done after placing his signatures, a craved penguin eggplant above the meal. "When she awakens, give this to her. She will most likely ask you to throw it away and won't eat it. She might lose her tempers or something, hope you can bear with it." Chaeyoung only laugh awkwardly then bows "I'm sorry for the inconvenient"

The maid automatically shakes her head saying that it's originally her job and there's nothing to apologize at. Chaeyoung again bows before he takes his leave. She sends him outside and just before Chaeyoung enters his car she stops him, lightly pat his shoulder from behind. He swings around and both surprised when their face just an inch away. They quickly step back as the awkwardness start to take over. She turns her head to the side to avert her gaze, but the sudden rosiness of her cheeks give her away. Chaeyoung clears his throat as he rubs his nape, staring into nothing but the girl's eyes.

"Umm, do you need anything else" He starts. The maid stares at him then smile.

"No, it just..you've got something on your face. There" She says pointing at something on his forehead near his eyebrows.

Chaeyoung shyly touches his face, trying to get rid of whatever the girl is pointing at. She chuckles watching the now nervous man, more likely a kid struggle by himself. She takes a step forward and leans towards him. Chaeyoung stops breathing when again her face just barely touch his.

"Right there," The maid says as she pulls away, showing him a carrot peels maybe from earlier. Chaeyoung sigh silently, feeling a bit uncomfortable from the sudden move. The maid reads his mind and realizes that she might just cross the line. She back away and stoop 90 degrees, stuttering as she keeps apologizing for her action.

Chaeyoung feels guilty and assures her that it's nothing and he's not really affected by it. Even thanking her for helping him out. He bid his goodbye and again reminding the maid to update him about Mina's condition.

The maid nods then smile as she watches Chae leaving the house with his pickup truck. She has never met anyone who's as polite as him. Thinking that he's definitely a good and kind man.

Mina's eyes narrow and unwillingly grinding her teeth. She takes a deep breath before she closes the curtain.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In this book, Sana is older than Momo
> 
> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	28. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeyoung prepared breakfast every single day for Mina before going to his college but it always left untouched by the girl. Mina will ask the maid to make her another one. She's thankful to have the maid with her in the morning, at least she has someone to talk to. It's true that what she'd witnessed before make her somehow mad. She quickly brushes the feelings off when the maid is so friendly and treats her with kindness. Though the maid knows nothing about what happened to Mina and Chaeyoung, she's not that blind to realize the tension between them.

The maid knocks on the door before she comes in with a tray of food, placing it on the bedside table before she sits. Mina smiles at her and closes the books that she's been reading. She looks over the food and frowns seeing an eggplant penguin on top of the dish.

"Why don't you throw it away?" She grimaces.

"Mina ssi, he's been doing this for the past two weeks. I-I really feel bad for him. How about you give it a try? It looks delicious better than my cooking" She assures, trying to help in some ways.

"He....hurts me" Mina says giving the maid bitter looks before she averts her gaze.

"......Can't you forgive him?"

"I will not pardon and forget what he had done"

The maid sigh silently then sits closer to Mina."Forgiveness doesn't mean you are excusing the other's actions. By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it." She taps the younger's palm and the back of her hand lightly. "It isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; it's something you do for you" The maid adds and smiles sincerely.

Mina hangs her head low, fidgeting with her finger "If it's something I do for myself and if it can help me heal, then---" She looks up and stares at the maid "---Why is it so hard?" Her voice crack when the last sentence escapes her mouth then followed by a tear falls from her right eyes, tracing her cheeks. Mina knows it very well, she is not that dumb to not notice Chaeyoung's effort. But she just couldn't. It just too hard, too heavy, too overwhelming.

The maid automatically pulls Mina into a hug. Feeling sorry for the latter overall situation. Though she knows nothing, Mina's eyes could tell her how much she's in pain and the maid is fully aware of it. "....Because it requires feeling willing to forgive. Sometimes you won't because the hurt went too deep." She caresses her back when she feels her shoulders wet from tears."People are not attempting to forgive someone before they have identified, fully felt, expressed, and released their anger and pain." She pulls away and again smiles at Mina.

"So, rather than giving him a cold shoulder and silent treatment. Both of you should sit and talk about it. Express your anger, shout at him, punch him, tell him how you feel; betrayed, hurt, pain. And after you're done, you'll feel much better and decide what you have to do next. Believe me." She advises.

Mina leans against the headboard, not giving any reply. She settles down the plate, putting it on her lap before taking a bite. "Yeah, it's better than your cooking" She says playfully. The maid pouts before joining Mina at her laughter.

* * * *

Chaeyoung's face lit up with a broad smile as he walks out from a stuffed animal shop. Piggyback ride a giant teddy bear that as big as him. He places it on the passenger seat and put it on a seatbelt before jogging back to the driver seat. Once in a while, he will glance over, pat its head and again smile sheepishly.

He just wants Mina to have something to cuddle with at night, recalling how the girl hugged her knees when the thunder cracked a few days ago. He's hoping that the bear can be his replacement to take care of the girl in her room, to keep her safe. Though he knows his action wouldn't change Mina's perspective over him, or how his intention might be misunderstood by the girl. But, he buys the toy, purely because he cares.

He also adds a bouquet of flower in his daily list to buy after classes end. Red roses, and why he choose it out of all, simple. It is traditionally a symbol for love and shows deep appreciation to the recipient and your feeling la towards them. Thanks to the florist who patiently have to suggest and explain every single type of flowers for him. It became a habit that each day he will come back home with the new flowers and arrange it in a vase, on Mina's bedside table. While the old already withered one, he will bury it in their backyard.

Chaeyoung arrives at home then puts the white teddy bear on the couch along with the flowers. He heads to the kitchen after hearing a familiar voice.

"Woah! You cooked a lot" Chaeyoung compliment seeing the wooden dining table fully packed by foods. The maid jolts a little then turn around feeling embarrassed as she was humming or more likely singing a song, not realizing his presence.

"And, you should be a singer" He adds giving her two thumbs up. The maid only chuckles and mumbling a thank you before turning back to the dish she's cooking. He walks closer and peeks from behind, asking if she needs a hand.

"It's okay. I'm almost finished" The maid says then steals a glance towards her side after hearing a rumbling sound. Chaeyoung presses his lips as he looks down in embarrassment.

"I haven't eaten all day haha" He confesses while giggling.

The maid smiles secretly before scooping the soup."How about helping me with the taste? If it's okay" She says handing the spoon to Chaeyoung. He smiles before nodding his head. A hungry cub he is, hurriedly taking a sip causing some to spills and burns his mouth.

"Ouch! Hot! Hot! Hot" He cried, putting the spoon in the sink while fanning himself. The main worriedly run over him and turn on the faucets, she takes a clean napkin and wet it before dragging him to sit on the chair.

"Stay still, please" She glares at him when he back away avoiding the girl's face that approximately touch his. He winces when the cold water makes contact with his skin. She wipes his face and leans forward, gently blowing the red marks beside his mouth. Chaeyoung looks up and unintentionally caught a glimpse of her lips. He quickly averts his gaze to somewhere else.

The awkwardness is unbearable for Chaeyoung. It doesn't seem right though he knows she just trying to help, and there's nothing wrong with it. But, he's just a bit uncomfortable with the situation they are in right now. "I-I think that's enough. T-thank you" He stutters, lightly pushing her by the shoulder. The maid then notices what she did, swiftly apologizing.

"No-no why are you saying sorry," Chaeyoung says panicky. "I should. What a clumsy stupid person" He smiles.

"No. You're not"

He brings his orbs up to stare at her with that questioning looks. She grins at him before adds, "I mean, you're kind-hearted, considerate, courteous, reliable, honest, creative, charming, attractive, sincer---"

"Okay, okay I got it, Stop. You're embarrassing me" He shyly cuts in, covering his face. "Well, I am an angel then" He playfully making fake wings flipping up both his hands, with a hint of a joke but the girl only stares at him. "I haha I'm just kidding"

She wanted to say something deep but simply couldn't phrase it properly. And ends up looking like a fish with mouth opens and closes but nothing actually came out. Chaeyoung's brows furrow as he stands up, checking the maid if she's alright.

"A-are you sick," He asks, putting his hand on her forehead.

Before she could finally gather her courage and form words, Chaeyoung's eyes twitch breaking their eye contact. She watches the way his lips lifts upward. The way his dimple crinkles. The way his crooked teeth shown. The warm glow his happiness gives. That is the beauty of a true and genuine smile of him that his eyes shine brightly and it is enough for the maid to knows who's that smile belongs to. That rare smile can only be caused by one person.

She could hear her own heart, breaks at the fact that she's still trying to accept. She presses her lips together before turn her heel."Good afternoon Mina-sii" She bows.

"Did I interrupt something?" Mina asks with deadpan looks before taking a glass milk bottle from the fridge. Chaeyoung rush towards her when he finds her struggling to open the bottle cap.

"Let me do it for you" He pours the milk into a cup before giving it to Mina. She stares at him then wordlessly walk away leaving clueless Chaeyoung. He tilts his head in confusion before shrugging it off. Well, he kinda used to that kind of treatment, though this time Mina's eyes scream something else and not the disgust and hatred look she always gives him. He sighs then search for the maid. Where is she? He thought

The maid locks herself in the bathroom. She starts to regret her decision working in the house. It's not entirely her fault, in this world, there's a thing that's out of our control. For example, who our heart chooses to skip a beat. How we can't stop staring at them, how we can't get them out of our mind, how we want them to be happy all the time. And then we realize that we're deeply, totally in love with that person.

"Stop beating so fast! Out of all people? Seriously? Wake up" She put both her hands on her chest. You have work to do. Know your boundaries, keep your distance. Okay? She mentally scolding herself.

* * * *

The night that is shrouding the world in front of Chaeyoung in pitch-black darkness giving him a melancholy feeling. It's already midnight and he's lying on the couch, wide awake. Two weeks already passed, he wonders until when Mina is going to ignore him and how much more effort he needs to puts. He glances to the teddy bear, hiding behind the single armchair, he's not even brave enough to give the bear to her yet. After staring blankly for hours, he forces himself to sleep with a final conclusion; He will try harder.

Just when Chaeyoung is about to drift into dreamland, a sudden scream pierces the night. Echoing through the house. Chaeyoung jumps out of the couch still half-conscious. His brains shutters for a moment, every part of him goes on a pause while his thoughts catch up. The scream can be heard once again, desperate, terrified. Chaeyoung's ears straining for more sounds, more clues as to where it comes from and when he realizes it comes from upstairs. The only things cross his mind is Mina. He mindlessly runs though he has no clue as to what he'll do when he got there, or what might happening, it just that he has to get there, fast.

He barges into the room, panting then witness Mina in the corner of the room, hugging her knees. His eyes widen and pulse quicken upon listening to Mina's hysterical scream while her body shakes in fear. After a wash of cold, he steps from the shadows, kneeling in front of her. He gently places one hand on Mina's shoulder, but the girl flinch at his touch then looks up. Slapping away his hands when he tries to help her.

"Express your anger, shout at him, punch him, tell him how you feel; betrayed, hurt, pain."

"Why," Mina croaked. "Why did you do that?" She asks, staring right into his eyes. Chaeyoung avoids her gaze, knowing what she meant. He couldn't look back. Mina pulls his chin so they face each other. "How could you do that. You! Out of all people" Her body was wracked with great sobs and she shook like a leaf.

"I-i'm sorry"

"It's all your fault" She punches him on the chest rapidly while Chaeyoung let her do what she wants, it's not even painful compared to how he feels inside. "Because of you! Because of what you did to me. I'm damaged" She cries with a rawness to it like the pain is still an open wound.

Chaeyoung pulls her to his chest where she sobs unceasingly, hands clutching at his shirt. Her tears slowly soak his chest He's still repeating the same words again and again as that's the only thing he could say at the moment. How sorry he is. She stays until her crying subsided, hands already falling helplessly on both sides. She collapsed with her head lay on his chest. When he finally looks at her, her beautiful eyes are swollen and sore.

Chaeyoung waits until he's completely sure that the girl is in deep sleep before picking her up bridal style. She puts her down slowly and tucks her into bed. He wipes the remaining tears on her face then sits on the bedside chair.

After debating with himself, he finally holds Mina's hand. Why is it so cold? He thought. He pulls out and about to check on the heater when Mina suddenly grabs his hand.

"Stay..."

He leans back while looking downwards wearing that bitter smile, aware of who she meant by that.

"..Chaeyoungie"

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	29. Little Bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Mina awakens to soft sheets and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. She rubs her left knuckles into her eyes while slowly sit up. A weight on her right hand preventing her to move any further. She doesn't want to wake the guy who's peacefully sleeping, head resting on her lap while he sits on the floor. She smiles when she sees their hand are intertwined and how tight Chaeyoung's grip is.

She then watches how his eyebrows furrows and how he groans when the sunlight reaches his face. Mina immediately put her hand on top his forehead, covering his face. She sighs in relief when the younger seems back into a deep slumber. A faint smile crosses her face as she recalls Chaeyoung's words last night.

======================  
|Flashbacks|

"Stay...Chaeyoungie" Mina calls in a half mumble and half-whisper that forced Chaeyoung to lean in close to hear her. He wasn't sure if he heard it right or not and when his name came out from Mina's lips again-pleading him to stay, wide smile eternally stained upon his lips.

He almost screamed out of joy and jumped from his position, he was too happy until he started to question if it was true. Wait, wait, That's my name, right? What's my name again? He raised his brows while biting his lips, it took him a minute to realize it was really him "Yeah Chaeyoung. That's my name! She just said my name!! The cub silently squealed with delight.

He brought himself closer, clasping her hands around Mina. He then blew on their hands keeping it warm.

"I will. I have always been by your side and will always be"

========================

"Thank you" Mina murmurs under her breath, a late reply of Chaeyoung's word last night. That was the last things she heard before she fell asleep.

She stays leaning against the headboard, closing her eyes since it's still early. As she waits for Chaeyoung to wake up, her phone alarm rings and she glance at the time before she turns it off. She sighs before gently shaking the younger's shoulder.

Chaeyoung lifts his head slowly and cautiously opens one eye. He blinks a few times then arouse from his sleep by the penguin's stare. "Y-you wake up early.." His voice trails off. "Umm, Do you need anything? Are you thirsty? I'll get you some wat--"

"Aren't you going to college?" Mina cut in, turning her head away from him.

"I skip class today" Chaeyoung answers as he fixes his position, and slowly remove his hands from hers. He then takes out the withered red roses from the vase and wraps it with tissues.

"Why?" Mina is now looking at him who's standing in front of the bedside table -busy working with the dead flower. Chaeyoung smiles as they stare at each other.

"Because today is your visit to the doctor. I'll be waiting in the living room. We'll go whenever you're ready." He smiles then walks himself to the door, holding the doorknob "Just call me if you need anything" He gives a last genuine smile before closing the door.

* * * *

Soon after the vibrant summer rays have begun to warm the day. Chaeyoung winces a little feeling the sun burning his back as he kneels with one knee- digging the soil with a trowel. He is the yard to bury the dead flower. He stops when he notices a shadow of someone standing beside him, - holding an umbrella, blocking him from the sunlight.

He looks up and smiles softly before he continues, burying the flower. The maid only gives him a generous smile then crouch beside the younger, helping him to replace the soil. When they are done, he cleans the dust off his hands and then some on his knees before he stands up.

"Thank you," He says as their eyes met and once again smile at her. The maid quickly looks away as to hide her blushing face then mumbling a simple 'Welcome'. She just loves his smile so much that, she can do every single possible thing she can just to make him happy.

"How about turning the flower petals into paint or pressed them and add it into your drawing?" The maid suggests and steps closer, tiptoeing as she wipes the sweat off his forehead using her sleeve. "Hmm?" She finds his orbs, waiting for his answer.

"W-well, that's a good idea" Chaeyoung stutters as he leans backwards, a bit surprised. "And how do you know I like to draw?" He asks as they walk back inside the house, sharing the umbrella. Although the distance is merely five meters, the maid is basically floating. And the fact that their hands are brushing against each other makes things worse for her. She is trying so hard to act normal and walk properly with her noodles legs. It could be anytime, she'll collapse to the ground.

"Umm, your hands are dirty" She answers, it's unintentional when she sounds fierce, at least for Chaeyoung. He quickly pulls his hands and slides it in his pocket, while chuckling awkwardly. The maid turns her head to face him, then realize that her words might be taken mistakenly. She starts to panic and immediately waves both her hands while shaking his head. "What I mean is, your hand.." She takes his hand in hers and they stop walking.

"Look" She points the side of his pinky finger---where there's a pencil mark on it."It's usually caused by smudging on a sketch" She smiles at him then averts her eyes into his clothes. "Besides, there's always some paint stains on your shirt" she adds. Chaeyoung amazed that the girl actually notices those things that even he himself unaware of. He does spend an hour before to paint a beautiful landscape of the sunrise. He says nothing more, but simply nods in understanding.

* * * *

Chaeyoung shed a tear when he heard the heartbeat of the baby, and sees the tiny blob wriggling around. He bawls. As for Mina, It's like it isn't real until she sees the baby on the screen. Though she looks cold and appears emotionless, she's amazed and couldn't believe that little bean is a human being. She's excited and scared at the same time.

When they are done with all the checkup, the doctor gives them an ultrasound picture of their baby. Mina gladly takes it and smiles as she stares at the picture. Not realizing, Chaeyoung who's peeking from her side, also want to take a look. He captures the image with his eyes, hoping it will stay inside his memory. He sighs silently when he hasn't finish examine it, yet, Mina already put the print inside her handbag.

Chaeyoung listens carefully to the doctor and apologizes when been asked about Mina's poor diet and body's condition. He always thinks that it's his fault for not taking good care of the girl.

"I think that's enough," Mina interrupts in a slightly annoyed tone. Not trying to be rude, but she doesn't like Chaeyoung to make an apology for something he doesn't do. In fact, it's her fault for being an irresponsible mother.

The doctor clears her throat and changes the subject "So...since Mina-sii had experienced an ectopic pregnancy which is heavy bleeding in the first trimester and although it already been treated, we still have to be extra careful. It's life-threatening for the mother and the baby. Though, as for now, the baby is healthy Mina-sii have to care for yourself." She opens a box and takes a pamphlet out."There's a healthy pregnancy diet you can follow and please take note, the husband" The doctor stares at Chaeyoung who seems out of place.

Chaeyoung leans forward and smiles apologetically, he's zone out thinking to ask the doctor what's the gender of their baby. But ends up putting the question on hold. The doctor takes her time and helps them figure out everything they need.

"And in case you're wondering, it's a girl" The doctor gives Chaeyoung a friendly smile which he then nods enthusiastically, smiling ear to ear. They bow and thank the doctor before taking their leave.  
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Mina waddle down the street with Chaeyoung trailing behind her. He wants to hold her hand---which he thought is impossible--- or just walk beside her, but doesn't have the courage to do so. Instead, he keeps an appropriate distance enough for him to make sure she's safe. Watching silently from behind.

Unfortunately, he's too dumb to realize the reason why Mina occasionally slows down her pace, waiting for him to catch up and walk next to each other. She abruptly stops her feet and turns around, frightened the daylights out of him. He stands frozen, avoiding Mina's piercing eyes.

"What are you doing?" Mina questions with her arms cross on the chest. Chaeyoung only tilts his head in confusion no words been said. Mina sigh deeply and her face softens as she walks closer to him. "Why are you a meter away from me?"

Chaeyoung puff out his cheeks and his body sink lower, doesn't know what to say to the girl. He stares at the ground as if trying to find answers there. Mina's mouth twitch, fighting a smile when the guy in front of him have his hand on the back, looking just like a child being scolded by his parents.

"Am I...stink?" She asks, playfully glares at him. Chaeyoung raises his chin with a shocked expression and shakes his head. He's trying to say something but his voice stuck in his throat. Mina narrows her eyes when there's no reply from the younger, she steps backwards and hesitantly smells herself. "A-am I?" She ponders unsurely, regretting to actually jumps to the topic.

Chaeyoung realizes the slightly embarrassed tone she used and a feeling of guiltiness rush through him."No-no, you always smell nice. Always" He breathes out, secretly congratulating himself for finally forms a word.

"Really?"

"Yes!" Chaeyoung says enthusiastically while nodding his head.

Mina sigh in relief before locking her arms around him. "Help me to walk, I'm tired". Chaeyoung face the girl and they exchange a meaningful smile. He wordlessly obliges, holding her tightly as they walk side by side.

* * * *

It's already half-past seven p.m. Chaeyoung still working on his school project, finding a perfect mixing colour ratio for his painting. While Mina is in the library, sitting on the couch and knitting. No, they are not fighting or anything, it just that moment where they need their time alone, doing their hobbies or interest.

Chaeyoung groan when he realizes that he's out of canvas and brown paint colour. He sighs and takes off his apron, heading towards the library. He knocks before he comes in. "Umm..I'm going to buy something, do you want to tag along?"

Mina averts his eyes from her knits and stares at him. She thinks for some time before shaking her head, explaining that she's tired to walk around. "But, can I have doughnuts?" The guy let out a small laugh as he nods.

"Topped with chocolate glaze okay" Mina adds as Chaeyoung walks closer and pick the empty glass on the table beside the girl. "Okay..I'll makes you some more tea first," He says, smiling at her before going out of the room.

"Call me if you need anything and I've already informed the security that you're alone so they can be extra cautious. And if you see someone suspicious, immediately call me or----"

"I can take care of myself. Now go" Mina assures. Chaeyoung stares at her and sighs "Warm yourself with the tea, I'll come back in a flash" He says, still hesitant to leaves the girl alone. He put a blanket across her shoulder and smiles before he walks away.

"Wait" Mina calls out as she ties off the last stitch, then gesturing the younger to sit beside her. Chaeyoung follows and settles down waiting for Mina to say something. But instead, she leans forwards and drapes the scarf that she knitted around his neck, adjusting it in a way it provides good protection to the cool weather. Chaeyoung unknowingly holds his breath as he tries to calm his racing heart. He's unable to focus on anything else but the person in front of him.

Mina taps his chest when she's done, satisfied with the knot she makes. "Now, you're ready to go" She smiles at him, that sweet gummy smile. Chaeyoung pressed his lips and nods before running away.

I am almost faint. He thought.

* * * *

Chaeyoung hums a random song while swinging his hands back and forth. Sometimes glancing at the box he's holding, full with different kinds of doughnuts. He stops when he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure walking ahead of him, struggling to carry her groceries bags. A small smile creeps onto his face as he tiptoed to surprise the brunette.

"BOO!!"

Chaeyoung falls on his butt with his eyes widen. He thanks god when the doughnuts box still in shape. A peal of laughter wakes him up and he quickly stands up, couldn't believe that he's just being backfired. He glares at the maid who's still laughing while holding her stomach.

"How do you know I'm behind you," He asks as he pulls the car and parks it. They then walk walk silently until they reach her place. Chaeyoung insists to help her carry the groceries bag since it's heavy and a girl walking alone at night is dangerous. He thought.

"Your fruity perfume" She answers shyly. Chaeyoung smiles and nods.  
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"I can carry it myself from here" She starts breaking the silence.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

Chaeyoung is a bit confused since there's no house can be seen. The girl stops him when they're crossing a bridge. He nods before hesitantly takes off his scarf and put it on her since she's clearly shivering.  
"The night is a bit cold." He says as he wraps it around her neck.

"You really are kind, Irene-sii. And I don't deserve that kindness" He adds and smiles at her, a smile that has a deep meaning. They stare at each other as if they speak through it. Irene nods and smiles before she turns her heel, holding tightly the shopping bag. Chaeyoung sigh and turn around, he checks the time and starts running, realizing it's almost midnight.  
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Is that how you reject me? Irene speaks to herself as she leans in the wall, hiding behind a store. She covers her face with her palm, letting the salty tears dripping into her mouth. She pulls her hands and clasps the scarf she's wearing. How about this act of kindness, you're giving me hope.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	30. Doughnut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeyoung runs to his car while occasionally checking his wristwatch. His feet stop with sudden realization wash over him. He turns around, panting whilst his eyes searches for someone but there's nothing except the pure black of night.

"The scarf...I lend it......" He trails off, talking to himself. He bites his lower lips while sighing. I'll just ask for it tomorrow morning, that will be fine. He sigh and takes a step before he stops again. His eyes roams the path and his surrounding, it seems familiar. A smiles creeps on his face when he sees a specific bungalow complex. It's where Chaeyoung and his brothers' lived together. He thought Irene's house must be near his neighborhood. He takes note of it and continue rushes home.

As soon as Chaeyoung arrives, he spots Mina sleeping soundly on the couch. Sighing, he walks closer and sits on the floor. "Are you waiting for me?" He half-whisper, smiling sheepishly as he tucks Mina's hair behind her ear. He brings his hand to hold hers then soon realize Mina's right hand occupied by a fork. He raises his brows and glances towards the empty plate on the table. He chuckles and laughs foolishly at his own wishful thinking. "Nope, you're waiting for the doughnut"

Guilty twisted his features as he stares at the box beside him. He sighs and thinks about whether to wake the girl or not. A smile crosses his face when she heard the penguin's little snore. Maybe she's tired He decides not to disturb her sleep and proceed to carry her to her room. He lay her gently on the bed then pulls the blanket up to her chin, making sure she's warm and comfortable.

He sits on the floor and holds the girl's right hand. Hesitantly, he kisses it, barely even touch her skin. It's more like his lips brushing against the back of her hand. "Good night" He watches her sleep and takes a second to gaze at her, smiles contentedly and then off to sleep, head resting on his arms. His usual position at the moment.

* * * *

Chaeyoung awakens by his phone alarm, he jumps a little and quickly turns it off. Sighing in relief when Mina still in dreamland. He tiptoeing as he walks himself out of the room and slowly shut the door behind him. He fishes his phone and order from Big Apple Bagels for delivery. "Topped with chocolate glaze" He mumbles as he searches for the specific doughnut that the girl wanted and also some other kind, just in case.

While waiting for the delivery, he dashes to the nearest chocolate store and buys a Belgian chocolate box that provides an assortment of milk and white chocolate in an elegant gold box with a bow on top. Suit her well he thought before thanking the clerk. He also buys a bouquet of red roses. He runs back home not minding the weird look people thrown at him. Who would have thought, a guy running like a maniac with his still morning hair and wearing slippers?

He's faster than the delivery man by a minute, he thanks him and give him a tip for his services. Thankfully, Mina is still in deep slumber when he peeks inside the room. He starts to prepare breakfast and put the bagels on a plate. Working silently in the kitchen and have that satisfied smile when he's done. The clock hand point at quarter past seven. Chaeyoung brows connected as he stands outside the house waiting for Irene. She's late. This's the first time He talks to himself, no he's not complaining but finds it a bit odd and also he needs the scarf back.

Just then, he receives messages from the maid, informing him that she couldn't come today due to some personal reasons. He worriedly asks if she's sick and offers to bring her to the hospital if she really did, a friendly act, he thought. Irene assures him that she's totally fine and thank him for the offer. She ends the call after apologizing for her absence.

Chaeyoung let out a deep sigh and call his professor, asking if he can take a day off. There's no way, he could leave Mina alone for half of the day. He hangs up the phone when he heard a 'yes', not wanting to elaborate his excuses. He takes this chance to spend time with Mina thinking about his responsibility as a husband and a father to their child. He only accompanied her to the doctor appointment and never actually involved in the pregnancy. He wants an uninterrupted time for bonding and natural conversation to happen between them as partners in raising their new baby. He starts to do research and plan some special date---you might call---jotting them down on a piece of paper.

When he's done, he heads upstairs to check on the girl, and stop just in front of the door when he heard Mina's groaning. He peeps through a small opening and smile before running down the stairs, taking the assorted tray of bagels. He knocks on the door before he enters, softly chuckles seeing the girl's messy hair as she sits cross-legged with her eyes closed.

"Good morning" He greets, putting the tray on the bedside table.

Mina opens one eye and tilts her head to the side, her lips quirk upwards in a small smile. Chaeyoung quickly averts his gaze, that gummy smile makes the world stop around him. A smile that brings back a million memories in a split second. That kind of smile that never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

Mina stretches her arms and returns the greetings "Good mor------ning?" She unsurely ends her words and snaps her head towards him. "What happened last night? Where were---"

"Here" Chaeyoung cut in, handing her a plate with a bagel on it and utensil. "Don't worry, I didn't forget the doughnut" He adds, smiling when Mina takes it and set it on her lap. "Last night something came up, I was a bit late...I'm sorry," He says apologetically.

He drops his head when Mina gives him a stern glare, playing with his fingers. Mina sigh and look away, she starts eating ignoring the latter. I'm not worried about the doughnut idiot. Just where were you? You didn't even bring your phone. Are you a child or what? Did something come up? Is that your excuses? Seriously? Chaeyoung gulp looking at Mina who's staring into space. She clutches tightly the knife on her right hand while her left poking the food with the fork repeatedly at the same place.

That doughnut could be me He talks to himself as sweat dripping down his forehead. Hesitantly, he approaches her and sits behind the girl. Mina's thought goes away when she feels a pair of hands running through her long hair. Chaeyoung gently fluffs her hair, brushing his fingers against it. He pulls it into a low ponytail then tie it off with an elastic he found on the bed. He isn't sure where the courage comes from but he doesn't regret it.

"Are you...mad?" He asks when he's done, letting his hand fall to his side. Mina leans her body against him, resting her head on his shoulder as she put her hand above his, squeezing it a little. "You're not going to tell me why you were late. Aren't you?" She sighs when there's no answer from the latter. They stay for minutes without talking but just there feeling each other presence.

"I bought chocolate," Chaeyoung says, trying to lift up the mood. Mina instantly turns around, happiness flare in her eyes and for the first time in a while it begins in his too. And..it's working He secretly praises himself as he gets up to get the chocolate for the now excited penguin.

* * * *

Irene locks herself in her room all day, she is thinking hard whether she'll continue or stop before it's too late. She's in a war with herself until she received a phone call from the hospital. She storms out of the tiny house and takes a bus. Her eyes glistened with tears and soon coming down like a waterfall, unaware of strangers talking and staring at her. The only thing that she could think at the moment is the safety of someone who's more precious than her own life.

Her heart pounded and hands begin to feel clammy against her bouncing knee, stomping her feet impatiently as she waits for the bus to arrives.

With her already weak legs, she pushes herself to run as fast as she could. "Mom!" She calls out as she turns the doorknob of a wad room. A few nurses have to drag her outside the room as a group of doctors trying to save her mother.

Thankfully, it's treated right away and the doctor explains that her mother was having sudden cardiac arrest where her heart stops beating for a minute and it's a close call. She bows to the doctors before she enters the room, settles down on the chair beside her sleeping mother. "Please don't do that again, you promise me you'll see me get married and have a child. So, please....I need you" She whispers as she holds her mother hands.

She stays in the hospital, wiping her mother's hands and face with a wet towel. Just then she got a call and pick it up right away after looking at the caller.

[Why didn't I get any news Irene-sii?]

"C-can I take it back? I'll do anything else you want. Anything else....I just can't"

[How about your mother? Is she doing well? You don't want her to get kicked out of the hospital huh? I've paid for the surgery cost and I give you money, now do your work that's it. Don't make it hard for both of us. Better deliver me good news next time]

She sighs when the call ends. Things were done and she already accepts the offer and now she's stuck between her mother life and someone else. "What should I do mom?"

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You guys probably confused by now, but don't worry everything going to unfold when the times come.
> 
> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	31. A Step Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Chaeyoung keeps glancing over his laptop at Mina full with adoration. He realizes and knows it well, every feature of her face but whenever he looks at her, he discovered something new, something different that spark that familiar feeling again and again. He can't deny it's the best feeling in the world but at the same time very painful.

All this time, he's content just by the fact that Mina is his best friend. Seeing her smile or hearing her laugh makes his heart happy. And being near her is good enough.

He thought of falling in love with his best friend is not a crime because falling in love can happen to the least person we expect. Love is free and people have the freedom to choose whom to love.

Just as much as he loves her, he's afraid of losing the girl, because he cares for her more than he supposed to, he's terrified. The feelings are so intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralyzing. Thus, he chooses to distance himself, keeping the wall between them. Silently hurting, watching her from afar for years.

He never dares to fantasize his confession let alone dreaming about his future with her. And now, living under the same roof, eating on the same table, waking Mina in the morning, and her carrying their child seems very unconvincing. Well, everything happens for a reason and he hopes that his stupid and unforgivable mistake actually leads to something, something he never knows. Something........meaningful.  
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Mina looks up and put her book down. She catches Chaeyoung staring at her, and their eyes meet for merely a second before he coughs and look away, busying himself, full concentration on his laptop screen. They sit across the library room, Mina's on the couch while he's typing at the working desk. Originally, Chaeyoung is browsing the internet reading some pregnancy books. A section dedicated just to dads that has a lot of useful information and how he could help throughout the process. But, he gets a bit distracted by Mina.

"So... how is it?" Chaeyoung asks breaking the silence. He's talking about the book that Mina just finished reading.

"It's good. A story about acceptance and letting go. Though it was hard for him to deal with the truth, she belonged only to his past. Grief and massive guiltiness make him confused, lost and trapped in his own little world. But, it was time to begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so. A sad yet beautiful story" She ends it and close the book. Her soft lips stretches into a smile but don't quite reach her eyes. Chaeyoung sighs and walks closer, sitting beside the girl and embrace her. He sees it, how her eyes are shining lit with sadness and what that forced expression meant.

"You're always a soft-hearted person. Never change. Stop reading that kind of books. It's too depressing" He pulls out and wipes her tears while giving her that silly smile, trying to cheer up the girl. Mina chuckle softly and rub her eyes, they stare at each other before she reaches out, hugging him tightly. Chaeyoung is frozen by the sudden action but soon reciprocate it. For Mina, it's sound calming and reassuring. She's trying to liberate herself of the burden of anger and resentment and feel the freedom of granting forgiveness. He hurt her, yes it's a fact and she's still in pain but no matter what it's also a fact that he is someone who had spent half of his life beside her. She decides that their friendship is worth continuing.

They stay hugging wordlessly, her head resting on his chest as she closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. Chaeyoung tries his best to control his heart from thumping so loud but at the end, he gives up with the thought and just focuses on her warmth.

It's a simple enough gesture -  
affection, perhaps the fragile beginnings of love  
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"Wanna go out for ice cream? It's good weather today" Chaeyoung whispers, enough for the other to hear him. Mina bobs her head with the mention of 'ice cream' but tighten her arms. It "Let's stays like this a bit more....it's been a while" She replies. Chaeyoung smile and gently caresses her hair "Yeah, let's do that"

* * * *

"As usual?" Chaeyoung asks and smiles when Mina nods her head. He jogs towards the ice cream truck leaving Mina on the bench at the park, staring into the lake. He's not so far as his eyes couldn't leave the girl, watching her from a few meters away while waiting for the order. He thanks the seller and walk back with the double scooped ice cream cone. A chocolate flavour and a mint.

A small smile plays on his lips as he tiptoed and stands behind the girl, he stoops down and leans forward to her ear. "Raw!" He roars causing Mina to jolt and reflexively slaps his face.

"Ouch...What's that for?" He whines as he takes a seat beside her. Mina can't help but to giggle at him and feels no need to apologize since he asks for it. She grabs the ice cream and takes a bite ignoring the latter. He brings his free hand and caresses Mina's handprint on his cheeks.

"That's new. I thought you'll buy a strawberry one" Mina asks, stealing a glance at him. "It's sold out" He lazily replies, now eating his ice cream with a frown on his face. Mina turns her head away, as to hide her smile on how ridiculously he looks right now with his pouting lips.

She clears her throat as guiltiness takes over her. 'Maybe I slap him too hard' She thought. "Is it good? Mint right?" Chaeyoung only nods his head while playing with his feet, kicking up the grass. "Can I have a taste?" She asks leaning closer to take a better look of him. Trying to console the now sulking cub.

Chaeyoung raises his head and playfully glares at her. She blinks her eyes and pressed her lips together---don't know why she did such an effort. But she just did---Chaeyoung looks away and sigh, biting his lower lips to stop himself from squealing and pinch those puffy cheeks.

"Yours first" He declares, pointing at her ice cream with his lips. "Okay" Mina lifts her right hand as he leans and grabs a huge bite. Her eyes widen and soon fills with fire when she's left with nothing but the cone. She snaps her head to her side while grinding her teeth. "Now, Yours"

Chaeyoung keeps his smirk as he faced his ice cream cone her way. He waits until Mina's lips barely touch it then suddenly push the ice cream cone on her face, dirtying all around her mouth. "Oh" Mina laughs "You're going to get it Chaengie!" She wipes off her mouth using the tissues wraps around ice cream cone. Chaeyoung springs up and sticks his tongue out before running away.

"Catch me if you can!!" He mocks as he runs backwards. Mina is about to throw her sandals at him but stop when she realizes something "Yah!! Look infro--" it's too late when he's already running into the tree, a few second hugs with the trunk then falls on the ground.

Mina worriedly jogs towards him while fighting the urge to burst into laughter. She crouches and chuckles watching the guy groaning in pain, rubbing his forehead.

"Idiot" She whispers softly.

* * * *

"Are you sure we don't have to treat this?" Mina asks trailing the cuts and bruises on his face. Chaeyoung lay down on the backseat of the car while his head rests on her lap. He's busy playing with his mobile game and only gives mina a subtle nod.

"That's not how you do it pabo-ya" Mina interrupts him with a slightly annoyed tone. "Why don't you help your squad instead of running away!" She scolds, frustrated on how he plays. "I need to save myself first. If I died then it's over. You don't even know anything" He mumbles the last words but she catches it crystal clear. "We should help them to fight the enemy. Facing them and not running away like a coward" Mina snatch his phone and blindly continue the game not realizing how her words affect him.

Running away like a coward. Coward. A word that exactly describe him.

He's drowning in his deep thought then sighs silently, chewing on his inner cheeks. He forces a smile and slowly put her hands down so they can stare into each other's eyes. "Wanna escape to a beautiful underwater world?"  
.  
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As they arrive at the glass chamber aquarium, they're greeted with a personalized dinner set up. Mina confusedly follows and sits across him. She completely immersed in the unique yet serene function space. It's been years the last time she visits an aquarium and it takes her by surprise to sees some non-aquatic species. She can't take her eyes off from the water tank, trying to identify each and every type of fish as they savouring their lunch. Neither of them talking but watching the stunning underwater landscape.

They then walk leisurely as the two surveys the sea life, allows for ample quiet conversation time - but with enough weird and wild fishy distraction that silences between conversation aren't uncomfortable. They walk through the shark tunnel where Mina stops abruptly and face him. "I've been wondering..but it seems really quiet in here" She questions while looking back and forth "Are we the only one? In here?"

Chaeyoung shrugs and lightly pushing her from the back to continue walking. "Let's meet your friends" He exclaimed happily, squeezing her shoulder. Mina glance at her back, brows connected seeing the excited cub.

"Penguins" Mina mumbles as she meets the too-cute rescue rockies through an awesome interactive penguin experience. They then join bird keeper for an informative, fun and exhilarating face-to-face encounter with Mina's feathered friends. One of them even decides to hop onto her lap where she gently touches the feathers.

They're having a great time on their own knowing more about the birds. "They're so adorable, I wish we could bring them home," Mina says sadly as they watch the penguins waddle back to the water. Chaeyoung looks over her and sees her face drop, he smiles and ruffles her hair "We already have one though, a moody penguin" He jokes then receives a pinch on his right side belly. Mina turns her heels leaving him chuckling and trail behind her, mimicking the cute way she walks.

* * * *

Chaeyoung drives back to the park and they sit side to side on the usual bench. He watches the lake as flat as a mirror and swans gliding across it, how it reflects the setting sun, the sky of fire. Mina placed her head on his shoulder and moves closer as she shut her eyes. They stay quiet allowing themselves to stay lost in the moment a while longer. His lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he is enjoying his thoughts, that they might just be a normal friend again, back to how they are. Though he isn't sure if it will hurt him again, one thing for sure he's thankful that Mina still thinks of him as a friend despite what he did.

When the twilight fades to blackness, he carries sleeping Mina to the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt before wrapping the girl with his coat then drive home. He places her gently on the soft mattress before heading downstairs to cook dinner for them.

Since they couldn't go out in the wilderness considering Mina's and the baby healthy, he decides to have indoor camping. He finds a campsite in the house that's large enough then set up a tent and puts a thick blanket inside. Then, setting a lantern string around it. He opens a folded table and put the food along with some snacks and beverage. Making sure the tent is facing the large glass window pane in the house so they could stare at the bright stars.

He happily hums a random song while walking towards Mina's room then softly wakes the girl up. He helps the clueless and half awaken Mina to stands properly, leading her to the living room.

"Ta~Da!!" He spread his arms, showing off his masterpiece in front of her. Mina blankly stare at him in disbelief before shaking her head "You did all of this?" She asks as her eyes roam around, chuckling when she sees a fake bonfire.

"Of course I am. The great Son Chaeyoung" he raises his chin, acting all proud of his work. She ignores the latter and sits, eating silently. "Yah! Can you at least wait for me" He whines then sit beside the girl. They don't really talk much when they eat, just sharing a simple conversation. Mina wanted to wash the dishes but Chaeyoung won't let her and after an unnecessary childish quarrel between them. They do it together, he wipes while she washes.

They share some short conversation whilst staring at the starry sky. Mina suddenly stands up when she remembers something, she walks to her room and takes a pink in colour, knitted hat with her. "Look, I made it the other day," She says handing it to Chaeyoung. "Isn't it too small for me?" He blurted out, trying to wear it but she snatches it away. "Because it isn't for you. It's for the baby" Mina huff. He only let an awkward laugh when she glare at him.

"Anyway, where is it?" She asks, averting her eyes from him. Chaeyoung hums as a response, not knowing what she meant. "The scarf" Her voice trails off as she brings her legs and hugs it, resting her head on her knees while she facing his side. "Where is it?" She repeats, staring right into his eyes.

Chaeyoung gulp hearing the serious tone she used and quickly break their eye contact. "I...accidentally left it in my house..you know the day I came late. I was going to my house...umm to take some paint" He laughs nervously while rubbing his nape.

He's lying. Mina closes her eyes thinking whether to ponders over it and directly questions him. They might fall back into an awkward situation and fight about it, which she finds stupid. It just a scarf though, only a scarf. She reminds herself. Brushing off the stinging pain when she knows he lied...again...

* * * *

Mina awakens by the ringing bell, she slowly but steady sits up and yawn. Smiling when she sees a white teddy bear next to her. She rubs the teddy's belly remembering how Chaeyoung gifted it to her last night as a companion, she named the bear "Snowball" as how white it is. Her eyes lift to Chaeyoung who's sleeping at the corner of the tent meters away from her. He must be tired She thought as she put Snowball next to him and wraps a blanket around the duo. Smiling when Chaeyoung moves and hugs Snowball.

She fix herself and walks out from the tent. Irritatingly opens the door as it disturbs her sleep. "Ah, Good morning Mina-sii" Irene bow and smile at her. Mina smiles back but it died as soon as her eyes lands on the scarf Irene is wearing.

"Morning. That's a really nice scarf there" She successfully says without stuttering. Forcing a smile as she invites her in.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	32. Scarf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

Mina sits on the bed as she leans against the headboard, as usual, she's knitting again. And this time, it's the same scarf that she knitted for Chaeyoung before, the difference is the color but shared the same pattern. Emotionlessly with a blank face, she keeps with her favorite hobby, she doesn't really feels or think any particular things. She's back again into the void. A dark void. A never-ending dark void that consumes everything, so she left feeling nothing. Empty.

Irene stares in confusion at the tent in the living room. She shakes her head and walks pass it straight to the kitchen. She takes off the scarf and her purse, hanging it on the back of the dining chair before rolling her sleeves and does her daily duty. Something crosses her mind when she suddenly stops chopping the ingredients for breakfast. She glances over her wristwatch and sighs. "Times for medicine" She talks to herself. She stays without moving for half an hour, staring into space.

After battling with her inner self, she finally takes off the gloves and prepares Mina's medicine, putting it on a tray with a glass of water. Eight packets in six months.  
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"Mina-sii, May I come in?" Irene enters the room when she heard a reply from inside, keeping her head low as she makes her way towards the bedside table and set down the tray. Mina stops knitting and put it aside, she eyes the girl with dark orbs, expressionlessly. A small smile creeps across her face when they make eye contact and thanking Irene for the medicine.

Mina put the usual pills she always took inside her mouth and lift her hand asking for water. Irene hand her but her grips tighten when Mina tries to take the glass, she stares at Irene -who's only looking at the floor- again Mina tries to take the glass of plain water but Irene pulls it back. Aware of the maid odd behavior, Mina brows connected when she notice Irene's trembling hands. She taps Irene's hands that clasp the glass and slowly Irene raise her head, they stare at each other, and to her surprised the maid just breaks crying. Mina smiles softly at her and Irene does the same before letting her hands fall to her side.

Mina take the glass and drinks the water while Irene is looking somewhere but the girl. "Is there something wrong? Why are you crying?" Mina asks, putting the glass back to the tray. Irene only shakes her head, take the tray with her and hurriedly storm out of the room.

Mina is about to call the maid but she no longer in sight. She clicks her tongue and sighs "Bitter" She mumbles under her breath.  
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As soon as she reaches the kitchen, Irene topples and falls on the floor, gripping tightly the edge of the dining table for support. Her howls of misery worsening, minutes of silent wrack sobs broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths. Crying with a rawness with it. She hopes that if only- someone to be there beside her. Telling her that everything will be fine, patting her back, consoling her but she has no one, no one except her mother. And maybe that's why she becomes inhuman just to protect her one and only family.

Thinking about the scenario earlier makes her lose focus when she's not aware of herself cutting her fingers instead of the vegetables. She stares at her blood dripping down the kitchen bar and unconsciously brings the knife to her arms, cutting one deep wound. She bears the pain, biting her lips to perfectly stop herself from screaming out of pain. It's like a reminder, each cut for what she just did. So, she'll not forget and always remember the guilt she has to live with through her life. She quickly cleans the mess and wash her cut, pressing a cloth in it. There's no turning back and she does not regret her decision but to live with it.

Pathetic. Selling your morality for money.

* * * *

Chaeyoung groans and spring up, he walks out of the tent, searching for Mina but instead, he found Irene preparing for breakfast in the kitchen. He massages his temple along the way to the kitchen, feeling a bit unwell.

"Aren't you late?" Irene asks when she notices Chaeyoung opening the fridge for a glass of water. He keeps his eyes shut, concentrating on the sudden dizziness he's having, feeling as if he's about to collapse anytime soon. Not really in the mood, he shakes his head as an answer. "I don't have class today" He mumbles then start drinking to soothe his dry throat, followed by him coughing couples of time. He swiftly takes on a pale look, like he's been painted with white-wash.

"Are you okay?" Irene walks closer to him and brings her hand to touch his forehead using the back of her palm. But, before she could reach him, Chaeyoung takes a step backward avoiding her eyes. "I-I'm fine"

"Sorry" She quickly pulls her hands and looks down, a bit embarrassed "It seems like you catch a cold. I'll make you some warm tea with honey. Just wait for a moment" She gives him a smile- which Chaeyoung returns it back- before proceeding with her works. Chaeyoung feels extreme tenderness and ache all around his body, as he keep coughing. Not having energy to move, he just wanted to sleep some more. He sits on the dining chair, obliges to Irene asking him to wait. He closes his eyes, resting his head on the table with his arms supporting it.

Irene turns around when she's done, holding a cup of tea. She smiles softly when she gets closer and sees Chaeyoung in a better view. She places the cup on the table then sits beside him, copies his position, head facing the younger. She stares at him with admiration and hesitantly trace his face with her finger; every single of his features, from his eyes to his cheek, nose and down to his lips. Though she's smiling, a tear escapes her eyes and she quickly wipes it off. She then buries her face on her arms, crying silently.

I want you to be happy. I really do. I know my place and boundaries. What am I compared to you? But, is it wrong to love someone? Is it that sinful? I am not hoping you'll love me back.

But, now thinking back what I have done. I don't even deserve to grow this feeling. I ruin your happiness and hurt you.

I'm so sorry.

* * * *

Chaeyoung opens one eye and slowly sit up straight. He looks around and there's no Irene and the dish all on the kitchen bar. He notices the cup in front of him, and it's still warm, gulping the tea in hurry. He forces himself to stand with the intention to head upstairs and bring food for Mina. Just then, Irene shows up "Oh, I'm about to wake you up," She says, quickly putting a bright smile. Watching Chaeyoung struggling to walks, she pushes him back to his seat. "I'll bring her. meal to her room, and I bought medicine for you, eat it later okay" Chaeyoung smiles and thank her.

Irene moves all the dish on the kitchen bar to the dining table. Then the scarf on the chair caught her attention. She takes it, walk to Chaeyoung side and gives it to him. Slightly embarrassed recalling that she just got rejected that day.

"Umm, thank you for helping me out the other day. It must be heavy to carry the groceries all the way to my house. And for lending the scarf. Thank you" She bows a little, and smiles at him.

Before Chaeyoung could utter a word, Mina suddenly appears and automatically he stands up, rigid in his place. He hides the scarf behind his back and smiles apologetically at Irene. The maid knows what it meant and even feels guilty that she might say something wrong. Chaeyoung's eyes follows Mina as she takes a seat across him. Did she heard it? He wonders.

"Smells good" Mina smiles at them and thank Irene for the food. Both Chaeyoung and Irene is surprised to see the girl in the kitchen when she always in her room, even eat breakfast by herself. "Let's eat" Mina adds and start eating, ignoring the other two.

"Join us, Irene sii" Mina calls out when the maid walking away from them. She awkwardly smiles and sits beside Mina. All of them eat in silence, no one dares to open a conversation since the atmosphere is somehow intense, probably because of the cold and dark aura that surrounds Mina. Irene hardly swallows on her foods, it feels unbearable to even stay there for a minute. She notices how Chaeyoung never takes her eyes off from Mina and keep glancing over her time to time while the girl looks like she's in her own world.

Chaeyoung tries to read what inside Mina's mind or what is she thinking but to no avail. He sees a side of her, he never encounters before and it freaking him out- something is wrong and very different. Mina finishes all her food and for the first time raise her head and again thanking Irene before she averts her eyes to him. They stare at each other for a while and at that moment he knows what going on, staring right into her dark orbs. Mina smiles before leaving the scene.

She's crying. She's hurting inside. Chaeyoung falls to his seat, rubbing his face with frustration. She definitely heard it. Definitely. He thought. And now he's in really big trouble, not because he's afraid of what tantrums or punches Mina will throw to him, even better if its that way. Mina found out he lied again and he just broke her trust again. He's terrified that Mina give up on him, that she's completely close her heart. That she'll abandon him, and leave with their child and if that happens, he'll literally die.

"I'm sorry... Irene sii but could you leave us alone. Your job is done for today" Chaeyoung says weakly, not even minding to look at her. Without a second thought, Irene leaves the place, clueless and curious of what's happening but feels like it's not a place where she can meddle in.

* * * *

It's almost 12 sharp, hours after the incident in the morning. Chaeyoung has been contemplating to meet Mina, afraid of the outcome from the talk. He bites his lips, massaging his head as he finally heads upstairs. He takes a deep breathe and blink a few times, making sure he's fully awake before knocking the door. Since there's no reply, he turns the doorknob and gets inside the room.

Mina's smile at him as he enters then continue her knitting. Chaeyoung knows it's a facade, he couldn't see it in the first glimpse but when they make eye contact, that's when it becomes clear. He walks closer, tears already threatening to escape as he calms his pounding heart. Dozens of gulp for a few meters from the door to the bed.

"Mina ya" He calls, sitting on the floor beside her bed. The girl only nods and hums as a reply, eyes locked on the scarf she knit.

"Mina ya" He whispers softly calling her again but receives the same response.

"Minari...please" This time, Mina don't answer him but keep her mouth shut. Her face slowly drops from a bright smile to a blank face. He reaches for her hand and the girl flinches a little but relaxes afterward. She stares at him with deadly but warm eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault. She's a friend and I'm just being kind to help her. I-I was wrong for lending her the scarf.....she was shivering that time. But, I know I shouldn't do that. I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't lie to you. Forgive me." He stutters in his word, keeping his head low, not wanting to meet Mina's piercing eyes. Tears already races down his cheeks. He waits for Mina but nothing, she just stays in her position, not even move a single muscle. He knows he hurt her really bad and tightens her grip. Mina pulls his hand, gesturing him to sits on the bed and he follows.

"Pl-please says someth---" His words cut off when Mina hug him tightly. Chaeyoug freeze, confused for a few seconds before he brings his arms and wraps it around her. He feels her soft skin and the gentle squeeze on his own. Bathing in her warmth and the smell of her jasmine perfume. Mina buries her face into the crook of his neck and lets her body sag, her muscles become loose. She just misses it, the hug. It calms her down and she feels like she found a home though at the same time it makes her mad and wants to burn the house.

For her, Chaeyoung is a double-edged sword, the more she held on it, the more she's hurting. That kind of person that will care for her but cause her misery. Someone that she really respect but disappoint her. Someone that when you have their phone number, you can't call or delete it. He's that kind of person that provides comfort but hell at the same time. Or is it her where the problems start? She isn't sure herself.

"Kindness. She's just a friend and you did what everyone would do. Is it the same for me?" Mina softly asks as she draws away. Chaeyoung tilts his head in confusion, not knowing what is it meant. He couldn't comprehend anything. He tries to read her expression or read her eyes but everything is blurry.

"The flowers, the teddy bear, the chocolate, the ice cream, the aquarium, your smile, your concerns and all the things you did!" Mina raises her voice but she doesn't even cry. Her eyes only red and sore, she's tired of it and there are no tears left. "Is it also an act of kindness? Do you pity me? Is that why?"

Chaeyoung start to lose his focus and can't even look at Mina properly. Feeling like he could faint soon, his mind is clouded with a lot of things. He shakes his head trying to answer but nothing come out from his mouth..."I--.."

Mina stand and slowly release herself from him. He catches her wrist but she pulls it harshly and leaves the room not even once turning back. He follows her and sees Mina walk through the main door. He calls multiple times even when Mina no longer in sight. The world circling around him and his damp palms slipping down the cold handrail. He falls headfirst down the remainder of the stairs landing in a miserable clump on the cold tile of the landing. He groans while holding his head, tries to stand but he sprained his ankles and couldn't move it. Defeated, he lays down on the floor, staring into the ceiling as he sighs.

He brings his hand to his eyes, covering it as he cries. He thinks that dying at this point is not a bad idea.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	33. The Psychiatrist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"What happened?" Sana looks over her little sister, sitting on the passenger seat. She averts her eyes to the main road and asks the same question again but Mina wouldn't even budge.

The latter sit there the whole ride staring out the window. It's weird how it can make her forget a lot of things. She barely thought of her long lost boyfriend---Where he is? What is he doing? Did he eat well? and most importantly how badly she misses the guy, his presence. She barely thought about the baby inside of her womb, is the baby healthy? How many months is her in pregnancy? She hasn't thought about the baby name yet, hasn't bought the baby clothes, hasn't ready to carry the weight of a mother. She barely thought of what just occurred a few hours ago. Every time something like that popped out into her head all she has to do is stare out the window, feeling the breeze past her.

The only thought that stuck is the one at home. Him.  
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"Mina?"

Sana touches the younger's shoulder, taking a quick glance at her. The latter flinch and shove her sister away. Realizing what she has done, she hides her face with her long red hair while hanging her head low. "Sorry, I wasn't mean to," She says guiltily.

"It's okay. I'm the one who should say sorry. You must be startled" Sana smiles warmly before fixing her eyes back on the road.

Truthfully, she's surprised with Mina defensive act but she knows where it comes from. Mina basically telling her to back off. Maybe she needs more time, don't want her space invaded and Sana respects that. She just wants the best for her little sister and helps her in any possible way. Mina has been always an introverted kid. Though they grew up together, though she is her sister, though she already sees and meets all Mina personality, behaviour, liking even predict what Mina is thinking. Sana can't help but to thinks if Mina actually hides something from her, from their family, from everyone.

The bond between the three sisters is unbreakable, they knew everything about the other really well. But when it comes, to personal lives, Mina is a stranger. She never shares her story, never show her emotions, never tell them how she feels in particular things, never tell them if she faces a problem or if she's sick. Even when she suddenly introduced Jeongyeon as her boyfriend, her parents didn't know she actually in a relationship which caused confusion in the family back then. The sisters knew it only from Chaeyoung and not her. The girl prefers to keep things to herself. And Sana notices it, all these years but decides not to force the girl since that is who Mina is.

Although Sana tries to be an understanding sister, she couldn't stop to wonder...

That unknown story and secrets of her little sister.

* * * *

"Anyway, how's your feeling? Jihyo introduced me to a psychiatrist. I've talked to her and she's willing to help" Sana starts after taking a sip of her drink. They are having lunch, sitting across each other. Mina raises her head and smiles weakly, not saying a word but just continues finishing her food.

Sana let out a sigh and recalls how Mina suddenly calls her in the morning, It seems to her that she could feel her heart breaks as Mina whispered the words to her.

"Unnie...something wrong with me...help me please..."

She froze in her tracks before she could understand the meaning behind it, telling the girl to wait and she'll fetch her up. And that's how the ends up together. She decides to set an appointment for Mina with psychiatrist since Mina finally agreed to work and let them figure out what is wrong.

Their lunch interrupted when Sana's phone rings. She looks at the caller then to Mina and back to the caller again. "Washroom, real quick" She mutters and tries to leave the scene with her phone but Mina stops her "Unnie, don't answer him" Her voice is firm as she eyed her sister. Sana sits back on the chair, breaking their eye contact. She wouldn't lie that Mina can scare her when she's acting differently, more so whenever the girl mad since it's rare to see her in that state.

"But, he's been calling for.." Sana looks up to her phone and continues "...24 times...wait, 24!?" Even herself surprised by the total missed calls from Chaeyoung. "Did you both fight? Did he do something inappropriate? Why are you ignoring him by the way? He's been texting me asking your whereabouts." She bombards the latter with questions but none of it receives an answer. She sighs in frustration when Mina just turns a deaf ear to her. Stubborn She thought.

They reach a private hospital and Sana helps the girl to walk since for some reason she looks unstable and unfocused, maybe because of her pregnancy or maybe something else. She shrugs the thought of confronting the girl about her condition knowing she'll get nothing. "The psychiatrist is a girl just so you don't feel uncomfortable and Jihyo said she just came back from America two days ago. An expert she is" Sana says as they head to the specific office.

"Here we are, wait here first. I'll go inside" Mina nods at her sister statement and wait outside. She's playing with her fingers, nervous and insecure to actually meet a new person and trust them enough to tell her story in the hopes of correcting herself. But she knows, she has to, if not then both Chaeyoung and her will suffer continuous pain and hurting.

Five minutes past and she stands when Sana appear and gesture her to go inside the room, she takes a deep breath but her feet won't move "U-unnie, I can't do this. Let's go back home" She suddenly pleads and turn her heels but Sana catches her wrist and walks to the girl, pulling her into a gentle hug. She pats the younger back, assuring her that everything will be fine "I'm here for you, waiting outside. Just try first and if you still can't then let stop. I won't force. Okay" Sana assures and gives Mina a bright smile. "Now hurry up, let's visit mom and dad after this"

Mina's face lightens when her sister mentions their parents. She misses them real bad. She takes at least a quarter hours to muster the courage before she gets in. The first things she sees is the only girl back facing her while humming a song. She awkwardly waits until she gets noticed, fidgeting all the way. The girl turns around and jolts a little when she sees Mina, she smiles apologetically and asks Mina to sit on the single couch inside the room.

"Im nayeon. Just call nayeon" The psychiatrist introduces herself as she sits across Mina. "Coffee?" She offers but the latter only shakes her head. "Mina right?" She asks again and earns a simple nod from the latter. "You're not a talkative one hahaha" The laugh fades away when Mina seems not responding and stay like a statue.

Nayeon clears her throat and smile showing her adorable front teeth to ease the tension and gives an approachable impression. "So...I heard some story from your sister. But I believe there's more to it. And it's always different when the real person who experienced it is the one who tells the story. The feeling is different" She winks before standing up and takes a book and pens with her then back to her seat. "For now, we're not going to begin the treatment yet but I'll listen to every side of your view" Nayeon assures.

"We'll start whenever you're ready" She smiles.

* * * *

Sana worriedly glance at her sister, the girl hasn't said a word since she meets the psychiatrist and it's bugging her. They are walking to the parking lot when suddenly a yelling from the backstops them. Both sisters turn around and witness the psychiatrist jogs towards them. Nayeon catches her breath when she reaches the girls since she's not a really good runner herself. "Can I talk to Mina for a second?" She asks, averting her eyes to Sana. Sana smiles and leaves after tapping her little's sister arm, gesturing her that she'll wait in the car.

Mina watches her sisters disappear from their sight before she turns her head and faces the physiatrists, her brows connected as she wonders why the latter run for her.

"About the things you asked, It's true that I couldn't answer it but we can fix it. I'll help you to confront those things. Just, Don't force yourself and don't push him away. Step by step, little by little, build it, grow it. Believe me, it's worth trying."

Mina nods and smiles before she walks away leaving Nayeon. Ain't really sure if the girl will accept her advice, Nayeon sigh deeply, it's her first time to encounter such case and listen to a rare tale. She's been dealing with patients with mental health issues, suicidal, depression, panic attack, frightening hallucination even someone who mildly psychotic but not once she meets anyone like Mina. She heard about it before but never really have a patient that suffers from it.

"She's broken. This will be hard" She mumbles, shaking her head while putting her hands inside her white coat.

* * * *

Mina laughs holding her stomach as she watches Momo and Sana bickering over the last piece of biscuit. The Myoui are having tea time while watching a Marvel movie but no one really pays attention as they are busy catching up with each other. Jokes are everywhere, even a meme they see on the internet become a hot topic in their conversation.

Sana and Momo know that there is more biscuit in the kitchen cabinets but keeps with their stupid act just so they can see or listen to their younger sister's laugh. Although they aren't sure if it's true happiness or not, at least Mina is laughing. She is laughing.

Mina sigh and shake her head, oblivious of her sisters pretending to fight for freaking biscuits. She makes her way towards them and snatches the biscuits before breaking it in half.

"One for Momo Unnie" She hands a piece to the big eater. "And one for Sana Unnie" Another one-piece she gives it to the squirrel. She holds her laughter when both her sisters pout and thrown a glare at each other.

Mr and Mrs Myoui are content to see all their daughter together and having fun. The sisters then go upstairs for unknown reasons, probably Sana and Momo will gossiping over something they see on Instagram, spoiling Mina. They're not asking about Chaeyoung since Sana clearly signalling them not to mention his name or else the atmosphere will definitely change to cold, tense and awkward. They want Mina to be her usual self and not worrying about anything but just be who she is, spending time with her sisters and for once, smiling and laughing genuinely.

Mina stays until night and eats dinner with her family. She thought that maybe she needs some time and maybe Chaeyoung and her need to be separated for a while; to let her breath, to let her think. Though she convinces herself that she needs space and she really does but, she feels restless for some reason. Leaving home, leaving him.

It's almost midnight when she can't sleep, she isn't sure why. To kill her boredom, she stops staring at the ceiling for God knows how long and sit up straight. Chuckling when she heard Sana and Momo little snore beside her. The two keep begging Mina to sleep together and have some sister talk but ends up falling asleep as soon as they hit the bed. Maybe that's why she can't sleep. The bed is packed She thought, smiling to herself.

She walks to her bedside table with the intention to read a book and use the table lamp. She stops in front of her window and just notices it's pouring down outside, how the rain bouncing off the window. Thank god, it doesn't bring thunders She thought.

She hates the idea of a thunderstorm but not the rain. The soft pitter-patter raindrops are music to her ear, listening to every beat of the raindrops hitting the ground---something that stopped her thoughts from buzzing, calming her. She stands there, staring at the beauty of the crying clouds.

She stays for almost an hour and decides to read some book as she pulls her hands to close the curtain. She stop when she caught a figure standing outside the house, head tilts up towards her room. If it's not because of the rain, their eyes might just meet. Her heart starts to thumping hard as she hurriedly closes the curtain and crouch, hiding. Fear crawls within her thinking why is the stranger staring at the house. She's about to wake her sisters when she suddenly realizes the stranger's clothing seems familiar.

She might be wrong but she needs to clear her suspicion since it's possible for him to come all the way here. And if he did, then she has to bring him inside since it's raining and it will only become heavier. Mina quickly heads downstairs, carefully not to wake anyone in the house. She wears her shoes and takes an umbrella with her.

Is it him? Her eyes wander, looking for the same stranger. Her fear replaced by concerned. Lips twitching from the cold breeze, rubbing her palm against the other arms to warm herself. She's standing outside the main door, contemplating to move far more than a meter. With a final decision, she takes a step forward and starts to run, searching but still keeps a safe distance from the house. There's no use for her using an umbrella when the water splash over her body.

She suddenly stops and catches her breath as she watches the same stranger walking in front of her, drenched in a shower of rain and limping in every step he takes.

"Changie?" She calls out, but the person keeps walking, not noticing her.

"Chaeyoungie!" She raises her voice when the person getting further, and abruptly freeze in his position. "Is that you?!" She shouts as she slowly approaches the person, making sure she's right. She blinks to see clearly since her vision is blurred by the rain. The stranger turns around with difficulty, revealing Chaeyoung. He gives her a small apologetic smile as he stands weakly staring at each other.

Mina looks at him in disbelief, and before she could take another step, he falls- stiff as board collapsed in a heap.

"Son Chaeyoung!!"

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	34. Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this I highly recommend to download and listen to this BGM while reading this
> 
> WITHERED/Broken Flower Background Music.mp3  
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/12-adT04vZJVH_xL_qOFPYWmAQb__Y6Nu/view?usp=sharing
> 
> Thank you

"His current temperature is 42°C and if it above it could cause serious brain damage. We've already given immediate medical treatment, and for now, let him rest." The Son's personal doctors explain and slowly lift the comforter, sighing as he examines Chaeyoung's feet. "Why did he force himself to walk when he sprained his ankle? It's swelled really bad. How can he bear the pain" He questions and shake his head, eyeing the Myoui that stand beside the sleeping Chaeyoung and Mina sitting on the chair, staring blankly into space.

"We're going to reduce the swelling first and then perform a CT scan when he already awake. Same for his arms, his bones are broken because of the impact it receives when he fainted. We'll be going to put a cast soon. He's asleep because of exhaustion so no need to worry but please take care of him in the future" The doctor says firmly, sounds like he's scolding the family or more to Mina since she's his wife---as for how Mr Myoui introduces themselves to the doctor an hour ago--- "I'll take my leave" The Myoui bowed and thanking the doctor then avert their attention to the cub. They don't fail to hear the doctor mumbling something as he walks out of the room with a few nurses This kid! Standing in the rain when having a fever? Is he trying to kill himself?!

Mrs Myoui tells Sana and Momo to go back home since the golden sun starts painting the dark sky into a bright blue. The two hesitantly obliges knowing that they can't miss their classes. Sana sigh and hug her youngest sister before moving to Chaeyoung. She brushes his bang aside and places a quick peck on his forehead, not realizing the intense stare Mina thrown at her. "You're way cooler than this, hurry and get back to your awesome self, tiger, see you tomorrow," She says, smiling softly. She's about to leave but gets pushes away by the eater maniac.

Momo leans closer and gently cup the younger's cheeks "Sick stinks. You rock. Please get well soon. I love you our cub~" Sana grins when she caught Mina gripping the bedsheet. She wants to tease her but thinking that now is not a good time, considering Chaeyoung is unwell. Plus, deep down, she is still mad at her sister for neglecting Chaeyoung's health condition.

Both Tzuyu and Dahyun is outside the town, one for a camp and the other is participating in a musical competition, as a representative for his college. They couldn't come and can only rely on their girlfriend and fiance to watch over Chaeyoung and will visit him first things first when they arrive home. They already ring Mr Kim---the family personal doctor---asking for good care of their brother.

"Heung Min---I mean Mr Son is still inside the aeroplane, on the way to here from Jeju" Mr Myoui point out as he ends the phone call. His wife nods and taps his arms to gain his attention. She then motions him to leave the room and gives Mina some time alone. He understands and quickly disappears, waiting for his wife outside the room. She stands from the couch and walks towards her daughter "Your father and I will buy some food, so Chae could eat some when he wakes up. And for you too"

"I'm not hung---"

"The baby is" Mrs Myoui cut in the headstrong Mina. She bends down and gently caresses the latter's small bump. "Don't forget your responsibility Mina yah, I really care for this beautiful little baby" She says, giving advice before smile widely thinking about her granddaughter.

"I will never understand the pain you've been through and I know it hurts you so much than I could imagine, but Chae is like my son too, and I love him. If you could just appreciate him and care for him, even a little because I can feel his sincerity, so why don't you? My son is hurting too, and I feel bad for not knowing that he actually sick and not there to replace his mother as like what I promised. So, please Mina yah" Mrs Myoui eyes get teary as she holds her daughter's hand then pulls her into a hug. She isn't sure what the latter is thinking because Mina hasn't given any reaction and most of the time, sitting on the chair while staring at Chaeyoung.

* * * *

Chaeyoung adjusts his vision, blinking for a few times as various colour dance before him. He closes his eyes tightly for the last time before opening it. He groans when the dizziness comes hitting him, like a thousand of pins and needles poking on his head while he still trying to figure out where he is and what has happened.

"You awake"

He turns his head to the side, and watch Mina staring at him holding a wood knitting tool and unfinished blue scarf. The girl stands and places her things on the bedside table. "I'll call the doctor for CT scan," She says emotionlessly then leave the scene. Chaeyoung sigh when he predicts that he's probably lost his consciousness that explains the sudden blackout he feels last night and Mina must have taken him to the hospital.

After the checkup, he goes with a cast on his right arms supported by a shoulder sling. A short leg cast on his left feet and a bandage on his left hand. Now he could only put his hope on his right feet since that's the only part that could actually function.

He's sitting on the bed with the help of a few pillows, maintaining his position. Don't know why but the room seems so spacious for Chaeyoung, maybe because they're the only one or the awkward and tense silence that engulfed them, or maybe both. He unconsciously steals a glance towards the girl over and over again. Feels like he wants to runs and escape this uncomfortable situation. Mina keeps with her knitting---fully focused on it, while Chaeyoung blinks his eyes in annoyance because of his long bangs that poking his eyes.

He sighs when he tries to sweep his bang to the side but can't move either of his hands, shaking his head which makes it worst. So, he leaves with one choice, puffing his lower lips out and blow air upward to clear the hair on his face. He giggles quietly watching his bangs lifts up, not sure why he finds it very amusing. Since it's working little by little, he then blows harder, and continuously. With concentration and too much-having 'fun', he's unaware of Mina's gaze that staring at him, thinking if he hurt his head too.

"Stop, you're disturbing"

Chaeyoung immediately stops, pressing his lips together and hang her head down. Mina takes off his elastic band and leans closer to him, slowly lifting his chin. Their eyes meet and Chaeyoung stares at her unreadable expression.

Mina gathers his bangs, pulls it up which earn a whimper from Chaeyoung. She ties it and makes it stick upward, looking somehow like a coconut tree. Or Nobita with his take-copter, now he just needs to fly away. (to Mina's heart hah)

The younger thanks her and just like that they are back to silence. Mina continues her knitting while Chaeyoung is afraid to start a conversation.

"I heard Chae is up!" Mrs Myoui brags through the door with his husband following behind, carrying a homemade food she made---reasons why they take so long. Both Chaeyoung and Mina jolt since it's super quiet when suddenly they heard a high pitched voice. He smiles and greets them, faces lighten when he sees the food.

"Woah! Food!!" He excitedly says, trying to grab the plastic bag when he suddenly pulled into a tight hug from Mrs Myoui. "Mother....my...arms..." He whines. She quickly breaks the hug and worriedly asks him if he needs anything or if he feels pain anywhere else. He shakes his head, and laugh seeing Mrs Myoui worried expression. Which definitely he receive a flick on his forehead afterwards.

"Mom, I'll just leave since you're already here" Mina casually says and picks up her things. The laughter and jokes disappear as soon as the latter walks out of the room. Chaeyoung turns his head to the side, looking out the window, he doesn't want to witness Mina leaving him. Again. He starts to give up. He thought that maybe it's his fault for forcing himself to her, and he should respect her decision and let her go. And that's what he is doing now. So, he'll just pray that Mina will come back to his arms, waiting, and waiting patiently, no matter how long it takes.

* * * *

Tzuyu laughs at Dahyun's story of accidental fart when he's performing on his piano. Saying that he's too nervous that he felt nausea and sudden stomachache. They are in the hospital, hanging around to cheer their buddy. But all the effort to make the latter laugh failed when he seems not interested and spiritless. Chaeyoung only gives a small smile and continue what he's doing.

He is decorating a small colouring book with pictures of flowers and penguin stickers on the cover. He's been writing something for the past two weeks in the hospital. Mina never shows up after she left the other day.

I really miss you baby and of course your mother. Dad is a bit sick right now. Have some fever, I hope you'll never get sick, it's not a good feeling. What about mom? Is she doing well? Haha, definitely she is. Mom and dad are not fighting. Mom just a bit tired so she stays at home. Dad, reallllllllly loves you and mom....dad realllllly miss both of you.

He stops when he notices a teardrop falls on the paper, blurring his handwriting. He rubs his palm against his face and closes the book. Though he can only write with his left hand, considering the other still have it cast on, he tries his best to make it readable at least to himself.

Tzuyu and Dahyun sigh, they wanted to help but there's nothing they could do for him. Even their girlfriend and fiance do not mention anything about Mina and they don't have the dare to ask about her. But weirdly enough, though they could feel Chaeyoung's longing for the girl, he never directly question them about her. They are happy that he's physically recovered but not emotionally. Concerned on how much he's damaged inside but have the ability to smiles brightly to them or to Mr and Mrs Myoui meaning that he's fine.

* * * *

It's past 10 pm and Chaeyoung couldn't sleep, he never was. He's just relying on sleeping pills or just staring blankly at the ceiling until he falls into dreamland. Today is no different but something caught his attention. The silver of moonlight spills into the room.

He slowly gets up and steps by step walking towards the window. At least I have a companion He thought, ---referring to the moon, as he stands before the glass window. It's a cloudless night and no stars at all, just the moon speckled darkness.

He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling calmer than he ever was. His ear perks when he heard the sound of the door creaking and soon a pair of hands sliding from his side then wrap around his waist. He smiles softly, feeling the familiar warmth and that hands that he'll always dream to hold.

"You come back" He whispers.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	35. Stay or Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously,
> 
> He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling calmer than he ever was. His ear perks when he heard the sound of the door creaking and soon a pair of hands sliding from his side then wrap around his waist. He smiles softly, feeling the familiar warmth and that hands that he'll always dream to hold.
> 
> "You come back" He whispers.

Chaeyoung receives no answer and in that moment of feeling, she's so close that himself awake somehow, more alive than he has been in a very long time. As if all his pain goes away---mental and physical, mostly the depressing pain. If only he could stay in her arms forever. Just both of them, together, living a happy life, loving each other, no more pain, no more guilt, no more fight but just pure love. Unfortunately, one could only hope.

They remain silent in the darkness but bathed in the gentle glow of the moonlight. Chaeyoung restrains himself from turning around when he feels his shirt wet, due to her tears. She's crying silently. And just how much he wants to face her and sees the girl that he'd been missing, he wants her to say something. An excuse, a fit of rage, a nag. Anything.

These past few days, Mina tries to block a pining that made her heartache and kept her up at night. Eventually, she became aware that she was tensing her muscles so she wouldn't cry. And eating all those pints of ice cream was just an attempt to stave off emptiness with sugar.

She closes her eyes and bites her lower lips as she remembers the one same thing that everyone told her---her sisters, her mother, and even her physiatrist. Which is "to open up yourself" She knows the best thing to do is to go ahead and feel her feelings.

"I...I'm mad at you" She trails off.

"I'm mad at you for giving the scarf to her, for lying to me, for not taking care of yourself, for forcing to look for me when you can't walk, for standing in the rain, for stupidly waiting for me!" Her voice raises then cracks as she says the last words, cannot holding the already falling tears of herself.

"I hate you..I hate you so bad" She continues between her sobs, but soon after her arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Mina breathes more slowly.

"But, I keep seeing your face, I keep worrying, I keep hearing your laughter...I miss you..."

Chaeyoung brain stutters for a moment and every part of him goes on pause while his thoughts catch up. She misses him. He slowly releases her arms and turns around. Watching the girl having her head low, grasping tightly the end of her sweater. He lifts her chin, so they can stare at each other. Mina eyed him with a pained look and suddenly hold his left arms, she can no longer take the risk and hurt herself.

"I miss your smile. I miss holding hands. I miss doing your laundry. I miss you running errands for me. I miss sharing meals together. I miss cycling together. I miss being close, being able to hug with no pain and guilt only happiness...I miss the past us." She pleads with gut-wrenching sobs that tear through her chest. "Let's be how we were back then....please Chaeyoungie" He looks away, as to ignore her begging, knowing where this conversation leads to. Just when he thought that she means something else maybe it's the start of newness, freshness but she just smashes it down. Not even the steady stream of liquid trickling down his face could cure his thirst for her. After all, she wanted a friend, not a lover.

Honestly, he's trying so hard not to burst out and yells at the girl. Swallowing all the words that he wants to say.

Never.

I don't want to go back to how we were.

I don't want to be your friend.

I don't want to watch you from afar again.

Since you can't leave me because I'm your friend and you cherish me,

I have no option but to take advantage of our past relationship. I'll keep you close, to stay beside me.

He turns his head back and his face softens when their eyes meet. He takes a step forward and gently hugs the girl with one arm around her shoulder. How could you do this to me? He thought.

"Chaeyoun---"

"No. I don't want." He cut in, breaking the hug when he already set his mind. He just loves her too much that he's slowly losing his own identity and be someone else. A shameless manipulator.

"Stay or leave. Decide" He says sternly.

* * * *

Chaeyoung stare at Mina who's sleeping in the couch, he turns his body fully to her side to get a better view. His last question wasn't answered though as Mina only stared at him with confusion. She took an amount of time to finally mumbled ''I'm tired. I want to sleep" and that's how he helps prepare a blanket and pillow so she can lay comfortably in the couch. He knows at that moment, offering the bed with him is not the right thing to say so he just let her.

Chaeyoung shut his eyes and recalls their fight hours ago, feels disgusted at himself for losing his consciousness and put pressure on her. It comes out impulsively, and once it's said, you can't take it back, a natural tendency without him thinking the consequences of his word and how it affects the girl. Why do we force people to be with us when they clearly say 'no' Chasing, controlling, and trying to get someone to love us is just pathetic and sad. He crosses the line from love to possessiveness, intrudes on their boundaries and disrespects her, as what he thought.

What are you doing Son Chaeyoung? He mentally scolds himself.

* * * *

"Morning" Mina greet casually while stretching her arms as if nothing happens the night before. He snaps his head towards her and swiftly stop writing and closes the colourful book, hiding it under his pillow.

Chaeyoung greets her back, praising himself that he didn't stutters. For some reason, he feels awkward to face the girl after the night and basically, his normal self is back.

Mina cleans herself and changes before taking a seat on the chair beside his bed. His eyes shake, looking around quickly without focusing into anything. Feeling nervous all of a sudden. He watches her hands slowly reach his and squeeze it to earn his attention.

"I need to go to the washroom" Chaeyoung blurt and slowly get off on the other side of the bed. He makes his way to the washroom, completely ignoring the girl. Mina sigh when he disappears and covers her face with her hands as she feels frustrated somehow. The sound of the door swings open caused her to lift up, and it's Chaeyoung, walking back towards her. Mina's brow arc as she watches him gets nearer and stop just a meter away before her.

"Last night...I dropped my toothbrush and Tzuyu promised me to buy a new one today but he hasn't come so......" His voice sinks to a whisper. Staring on the floor, while rubbing his nape.

Mina cracks a smile, showing her gums. "Thankfully, I bring an extra one just in case and looks like it's really needed, I bring some of your clothes too, so you can change into a comfortable one" She says, taking out a new toothbrush from a bag that sits beside the couch, and hands it to him.

Chaeyoung thank the girl and quickly walk away but stop when he heard a call from her.

"Can you do it by yourself?"

* * * *

"Sit" Mina command as she fills the sink with warm water. Chaeyoung keeps with his whining but nonetheless follows since he doesn't want to meet Mina's angry side. He had seen it a lot. And it's a warning.

"I still can use my left hand. Like seriously. Minarii I'm not a kid" He cries out, disapproving her action. Mina secretly glances over his reflection on the mirror while putting on the toothpaste. She watches him stomping his feet and in awe at his expression, sees nothing but almost embarrassment as his cheeks flushed pink.

"You know that I always had to brush your teeth every night since you were so lazy" Mina fired back as she turns around, smirking at him.

"That's a long time ago. I'm still a toddler. That time..I mean..I did flossing okay" He rolls his eyes and gives a deadpan look. She shakes her head, sighing all the way as she walks and stands behind him. "Stop talking, your breath stinks" Chaeyoung scoff at her statement, eyeing her move via the mirror, staring at her in disbelief. "Seriously? Myoui Mina"

The girl suppresses her laugh hearing her full name escapes his mouth. "Whatever, now open your mouth. We have to get those dinosaurs out so they don't bite"

Chaeyoung chuckled when she mentions the dinosaur, bringing tons of memories. "I'm not going to fall for that again. Are you trying mimicking mother? She always said that to force me brushing my teeth"

"Who knows it's going to work?" Mina places her left hands over his shoulder and taps it. "Or....say Cheeseeee," She says, automatically forming a broad smile across her face, showing her teeth.

The corners of his mouth slides upwards and he sighs quietly, defeated. Well, Chaeyoung never wins anything against her.

"Cheeseeeee..........." He copies and reveals his crooked teeth, giving access to Mina moving the brush back and forth gently in short strokes. Not even pass a second, Chaeyoung bite the brush, stopping her "...cake! Can we have it?"

"After this"

"Okay"

* * * *

Chaeyoung sits stiffly on the couch while Mina standing in front of him, grabbing each section of his hair and gently blot and squeeze it with the towel---basically drying his damp hair with a hand towel. His eyes never leave Mina's bump and just stare at it, smiling to himself. The girl suddenly feels a little flutter within her, fleeting and gentle.

"Woah!!!" Chaeyoung suddenly shouts causing Mina to jolt and quickly look down. His face lights up in amazement with sparkly eyes "D-did you sees it!! It moved! I think she's kicking. The baby is kicking!" Mina giggle at his reaction and watch him pulling his hand to touch her bump but stop in midway. He raises his head and looks at her as if asking permission. Mina nods knowing what he meant, thinking that it's so gentle of him asking her consent first when he actually has the right.

Chaeyoung slowly rubs her bump and finds that the baby kicks again. A wide smile eternally stained upon his lips. There's nothing quite as exciting as feeling your baby respond to your touch for the very first time and that is what he feels. A wave of happiness washed over him. It's like a beam of light to the soul.

He slides an arm around her waist and kindly pulls her against him. Putting his head on her stomach. Mina takes a step forward, closing the gap between them and smiles softly. She caresses his damp hair while he closes his eyes, feeling the movements of the baby. And when he heard the speedy little triple beat of the baby's heartbeat, he's taken aback, it feels magical and that tiny touchpoint is really assuring. It reminds him that she, Mina is carrying a child, his child. And it made him want to do anything possible to help get her through the rough time. Only if she let him.

But Chaeyoung isn't really thinking about the complex bond between him and Mina and how fate played with them. The only thing that is inside his mind is, he himself, Mina and their child as one happy family.

Little baby, my name is Son Chaeyoung and I'm your dad... Dad can't wait to see you.

* * * *

Mr Son knocks before he gets inside the room, visiting his son. Chaeyoung just laying on the bed, doing nothing and just stare at Mina who sit on the chair, reading a book. He slowly rises from his position and greets his dad, while Mina does the same. She closes her books after placing a bookmark, putting it inside her handbag.

"I'll take my leave," Mina says as she stands and bows at Mr Son. She turns her head to face Chaeyoung and beam a smile. This time, his eyes follow Mina until she stands before the door, not saying anything but secretly hoping.

Mina turns the doorknob and opens the door, taking a step and another. His brows twitch, chewing on his inner cheeks too hard until it bleeds. He's pleading, no begging as he stares at the girl's back facing him. Right when he's about to give up, right when he's about to let go of the dwindling ray of hope that flickered dangerously inside him, the blanket of blackness replaced by bursts of light that pierced through it.

Mina turns her heels and their eyes lock for a whole minute. "I'll be back. You want a Cheseeeeee Cake right?" She jokes, giving him a meaningful smile.

He presses his lips and bobs his head at her, smiling as he watches her disappear out of sight. He feels like the heavens have given him another chance to do right, and his heart soared, mending itself once more.

She chose to stay.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	36. Autumn Breeze

Mina smile upon seeing the cub begin eating the cheesecake, sloppily. She has come and visits him in the afternoon along with the desert. And maybe it caused to him, that using a fork with his left hand to eat is uncomfortable and pretty hard for someone who is right-handed. She takes tissues out of her handbag and leans closer to him, wiping his mouth. Chaeyoung just freezes and let her do the works, realizing that he might be too happy that he forgot his manners. He automatically looks away as to avoid Mina's captivating eyes, feeling the sudden heat seared through his cheeks.

Mina pulls away and chuckles. "Looks like I've got a kid to take care off"

Chaeyoung just smiles sheepishly and proceed to eat but this time, slowly and carefully. He stares into the blank space as both of them fall into a comfortable silence. He still tries to calm his pounding heart. Starting to doubt his ability to control his emotion and act like how he used to when they're still best friends. It looks like all the happy, confidence, coolness facade slowly falling apart, revealing the true him. A sad, insecure and pitiful guy who's deeply in love with his best friend. And that fact terrified him.

Chaeyoung keeps thinking about it, pressing his lips together as the anxiety takes over him. Soon after, he feels a poke on his cheeks, cutting his train of thought. He snaps his head to the side and witnesses Mina giggling while she is smiling. Her voice so much ear-pleasing, no one can describe.

"That dimple is so visible. What's with the frown?" She jokes smiling at him. Chaeyoung involuntarily let out a small laugh, his eyes twinkled. I can't believe how hard I've fallen for you.

"Yah! Why aren't you answering?"

"Nothing" He shakes his head and sighs silently "I'm just thinking about something beautiful" Their eyes meet and a smile crosses his face, a sad smile. Though Mina can read him, she decides not to ask about it. For once, she wants happiness. She already decides to stay and learn by herself that she can never leave him, so she'll try and put an effort for them to have their own happy ending.

Mina ignores the urge to question about that forced expression of him and remain her smile. "How's your feeling? You'll discharge from the hospital tomorrow. Do you wanna go somewhere? Or eat anything?" She asks, lifting up the mood.

Chaeyoung raises his chin as to think of something when suddenly he forms a bright smile, staring at Mina with sparkled eyes. "Can I taste your cook? Wait, no, you can't move too m---"

"Alright" Mina cut off. "I'll prepare lunch for you, oh! By the way, Tzuyu said he'll pick you up tomorrow morning. Looks like he has something to say." Chaeyoung subtly nods at the remarks, not really paying attention since his mind are clouded by the idea that Mina will cook for him. To Chaeyoung, that's the very first time, she offers such things and he can't hide his yearning for tomorrow

"Wanna go for a stroll?" Mina asks as Chaeyoung finish eating. He flashes a smile and nods at her before jump off his bed and drags his IV poles along. Mina goes towards his left side, locking their arms as they make a beeline to the hospital park.

"I'll get some drink, wait here kay" Mina leaves the scene as soon as he settles down on a bench under a sugar maple tree. He looks back, eyes following the girl until she disappears. A sigh escapes his mouth, he wants to stop her but Mina doesn't wait for his response and just walks away. You shouldn't tire yourself, Mina ya.

He got no choice but to wait, funny that somehow he'll always be that person that keeps waiting, again and again. Chaeyoung chuckles bitterly and takes a deep breath then heave slowly, releasing the heaviness on his chest. He looks in front and smiles watching the leaves dance from branch to branch, each in a colourful way. The sun hangs low in the sky, it's rays shining through the last few hanging leaves as it provides warmness despite the chilly wind. He closes his eyes, feeling the autumn breeze, listening for the sweet rustling music.

The calmness doesn't last long when a crunching noise is heard caused by footsteps, and soon a presence just ahead of him. He opens his eyes and is taken aback when he meets Mina's orbs. They are facing each other and because of the closeness, their nose brush against one another. Chaeyoung starts to get nervous and hope that the intense eye contact will be over as his hearts feels like it's going to explode anytime soon. Not to mention, he forgot how to breathe because of the mixed emotion and the tangled mind.

Mina's eyes soften then smiles as she pulls away and ruffles the younger's hair. She hands him the hot coffee that she's holding but receives no response from the guy. Chaeyoung is busy calming himself down and try to breathe normally again. He literally holds his breath for two minutes, and now his face as similar to the red maple leaves.

"Are you okay?" Concerned, Mina put her palm against his forehead, afraid that he caught a fever or something. And that sudden move of her is not helping him at all. Chaeyoung just shakes his head and let out a fake cough, before assuring Mina that he is fine. He takes a sip of his drink and the same to her, both clutching their cup with both hands to warm themselves. They stay enjoying the picturesque view in front of them and the moment of them being together. Until Chaeyoung breaks the silence.

"Mina, W-what's that for? I mean..you know earlier you sud---"

"Nothing." She explains, smiling sweetly at him before averting her eyes back to the scenery in front. "I just examine your face" She continues.

Chaeyoung immediately springs up and sit straight. He stares wordlessly at Mina who's currently shut her eyes, feeling flustered somehow. "Why? Is there something on my face?" He finally forms a sentence without stuttering this time.

"It just...I'm happy that you look so peaceful and... the Chaeyoung that I know." She finds his eyes and he is puzzled by the meaning behind those words. But little by little, it's connected and getting pretty obvious for him. I can't keep this feeling much longer. He thought.

"Geez, what I meant is, you always look so serious and worry lines don't suit you" She flicks his forehead and earn whines and glare from him. "That's more like you" She giggles, rubbing the red mark she left.

"By the way, I don't like this position" She blurts out."..sitting on your right side since you still have your cast on" Chaeyoung's brow creased in confusion and only eyed the girl as she moves to his left side. She brings herself closer to him and joins their arms together, resting her head on his shoulder. Sharing the same cream in colour sheet.

"Much better" She mumbles.

He watches Mina slowly drifting to sleep and is about to tuck her strand of hair when she suddenly sits up straight. "I almost forgot" She takes a blue scarf from her handbag---the one that she knitted. She leans forward as she puts the blue scarf on him, taking the longer end and brings it around his neck.

She taps his chest when she's done and says, "I made another one for you. I hope you take care of it well" Chaeyoung bob his head, knowing what it implies to. She's trying to give him a chance, placing her trust on him again and he better not disappoint her for the second time. He's not that stupid after all. And when Mina pulls out, they stare at each other, no words being said. But he's truly happy at the moment.

"I will," He smiles, showing determination as he nods his head vigorously. Mina just grins and back at her position. Her eyes getting heavy and she draws closer, hugging his arms. "Comfy" She murmurs.

Chaeyoung smile contently then stare at their hand, where Mina's are above his. He hesitantly holds her hands but the girl soon pulls away, and intertwine it. He couldn't hide his happiness and are totally shocked by that. He then joins her, resting his head above hers and close his eyes. The silver pendant of their bracelet makes a jingling sound as the wind blows. And somehow it's comforting, sounding musical to them.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	37. Coconut Hair

Tzuyu and Chaeyoung stand on the Hospital's rooftop, looking towards the scenery up front. "Hyung, stop trying to light a candle with an unlit match. Don't you feel tired? Over the never-ending cycle of depression, it's that hurtful, you cannot control another person. It's okay to let go and run" Tzuyu starts while putting his hand inside his pocket for warmth, his duffle coat flapped wildly behind his back. Chaeyoung stands on his left, hair fluttering in the wind, revealing his forehead time to time. Both stares out at the morning sky.

"It's not that simple Tzuyu ya." Chaeyoung whispers, hand gripping tightly the IV poles beside him. "I'm lying if I say I'm okay. The thing is, I'm used to it. For years, I've been through it, so why not a little bit more suffering? it's a small matter. I'm not affected by it.....But, yeah I'm exhausted"

Tzuyu turns his head and glance over his brother. Chaeyoung does the same and flashes a small smile when their eyes meet. "She gives me a second chance," He grasps the blue scarf he's wearing then avert his eyes back towards his younger brother. "I'm not going to give up until I take every opportunity to have her. Besides, it's not only about Mina and me, but it also involves our child"

"If we're separated, what will happen to the baby's future? Will she stay with her mom or her dad? The baby doesn't deserve all those lacks of attention or love....you know, I'm not only fighting for Mina but for the baby too..." He continues, it may sound like an excuse that one of the reasons he can't get rid of his feeling and wants Mina to stay with him is because of the baby. But truthfully, he already grows fond to their child. And wish to provide a nice environment and perfect family for the baby.

"I just want you to be hap--"

"I am...I'm happy Tzuyu ya" Chaeyoung cut in, assuring his younger brother. He's being honest about it. Chaeyoung is genuinely happy and thankful for his little brother's concerns.

"If you say so.." The tall trails off then shoots a glare at Chaeyoung when he remembers the cause for the recent fight. "Then, don't lie to Mina Unnie again..even over small things, cuz it does mean a lot" He says firmly, more like a command for Chaeyoung. The latter laugh nervously seeing Tzuyu with his poker face sends shivers down his spine.

"I know, I know. It's my fault and I've learned from my mistakes" Chaeyoung states but Tzuyu isn't buying it. The guy folds his arms over his chest, fully facing his brother with the judging look he throws at him. Chaeyoung just laughs and raise his hand, putting it on his forehead as he gives a military salute "Aye Aye captain. I'll obey you to the word" His smile showing off his most attractive facial features, the deep dimple.

Tzuyu scoff and walks away, Can't believe he's older than me. He shakes his head, smiling on his way "You better hurry! Or I'm just going to leave you" Shouts him, without looking back and waves his hand.

"W-what! Yahh!! won't you help your adorable brother to walk" Chaeyoung whines, as he drags the IV poles with him, pretending to walk painfully slow.

"Adorable brother my foot!"

Chaeyoung laughs at the remarks and starts to jogs when Tzuyu no longer in sight. Someone jealous. He thought. "Yah! Wait for me!!"

* * * *

Mina greets the brothers that just arrives and ask Tzuyu to stay for lunch but the guy already has his plan---a date with Sana. Mina just laughs at the younger's lame excuse declining the offers, she knows too well that Tzuyu and her sister are finally official. She gives him a wink as he leaves the house with a red face.

Chaeyoung who stand beside the girl notices the little action Mina does and is a bit sulk about it. Mina faces him, and his pouted lips immediately turn into a smile, hiding the fact that he's a bit...a bit jealous.

"Go and change. I'll call you when I'm done with the cooking"

Chaeyoung nods and goes upstairs. He takes a quick shower and brushes his teeth in an awkward way. Groaning when the brush hit his gum too hard, his teeth might break. The cast is still on, and he's not used to the idea of leaning everything on his left hand.

Mina places the plate of food on the dining table, arranging it neatly before she makes a beeline towards her room. She knocks the door asking him if he's done but earn nothing from the inside.

"Chaeyoungie? Are you done? Let's eat" Unfortunately the calls fall into silence when again there's no response. Worried, she turns the doorknob just to witness the cub struggling to put a shirt on, oblivious of the girl's presence. She stares at his back view and chuckle as she watches the younger trying to put his casted arm through the t-shirt but failed miserably. Head is still inside the clothes, finding the right hole while his left hand hanging in the air.

She shakes his head and sighs as she walks closer to him. "You'll get the collar stretched out if you keep doing that" Chaeyoung stop whatever he's doing and let his hands fall to his side. Since his head buried under the shirt, his eyesight is covered by the piece of clothing. He stares down at his feet, surprised when he feels hands lightly brushing the side of his stomach. The hem of his shirt pulled upwards, and their eyes meet.

Mina smiles at him and proceeds as Chaeyoung lifts his arms. He couldn't help but to unknowingly chewing the inner of his cheeks while trying to cover his exposed upper body. Face turned into an embarrassing reddish hue. Although Mina often sees him without a shirt before, it feels different now, at least for him. He's always super confident about his muscular body but now, something has changed. The scars on his stomach making him anxious and afraid. Hoping the girl fails to notice it.

"You should wear a slouchy sweater with elbow-length sleeves instead, it's a lot easier" Mina explains as she goes through each item in the walk-in closet, searching for the right one. She found a cream sweater and face the younger who's staring blankly into nothing.

"Chaeyoungie, raise your hand" She orders and he immediately obliges. Mina tip-toed and helps to place the sweater over his head, then ask him to stretch his arms through the sleeves. The material of the sweater and length of the sleeves making it effortless for Mina to put it on him.

"Done," Mina says as she fixes the turtleneck then look at him. Chaeyoung only smiles shyly, rubbing his nape as he mumbles a thank you. The girl then gestures him to sit on the dressing chair and grab a comb from one of the makeup drawers. She smoothes his hair, but end up playfully trying different hairstyles on him. And the first is the hair split in the middle one. It may look great but his hair is too long and straight for it, making him look like an idiot.

"Minari? I look like...umm I don't know, a rock star who teleport from the 19th century?" He raises his brow, shaking his head in disbelief as he studies his reflection on the mirror while the girl clutching her stomach and she keeps laughing. Chaeyoung secretly smiles hearing her angelic voice. At least, I make you laugh for once.

When Mina regains herself, she wipes the tears of joy in the corner of her eyes then excitedly takes a hair gel, dye colors, and a blower.

"Oh no"

* * * *

Chaeyoung sigh as his eyes caught a bowl in front of him---the one that Mina put on top of his head to do a bowl cut. The girl comes back after cleaning the mess and meet with Chaeyoung's fiery eyes. He quickly stands and walks closer to her, with grinding teeth and a clenched fist.

"Y-you look good. Really. Like..so cute haha" She nervously takes a step backward while he steps forward, and it keeps going until Mina feels the back of her knees touch the edge of the bed. She can no longer move, and it terrified her that she can't see anything through his eyes. The younger keep a blank and darken faces. She leans backward when Chaeyoung leans forwards. Her hearts starts to pound real hard, feels like it's repeating.

She's about to push him and runs when Chaeyoung suddenly smiles and tickles her down. Mina is caught off guard as she falls to the soft mattress, giggling while whining, asking him to stop. She grabs a pillow and hit him but it doesn't work as the guy set his mind to take revenge. Competitive Mina, reach for his hair and pulls it harshly, earning a cried from Chaeyoung. Feels like he's going to take off bald. The cub catches her hands and quickly hover over her, knowing not to put unnecessary pressure on her stomach.

He's pinning the girl as they stare at each other and both are smiling and laughing childishly. Mina is still catching her breath, showing her gummy smile. While Chaeyoung looks at her lovingly, the sensation of his heart has skip a beat. He smiles before getting off of her and sits beside the girl.

"Your nails are too long. It's unfair. I've got a scratch because of it" He complaints as Mina slowly raise up. Chaeyoung laughs seeing the girl's hair sticking out and pulls his hand to brushes her messy hair then tucks a strand behind her ear.

"You deserve it anyway" She sticks her tongue out and look away.

"Seriously? You make me look like a walking coconut or someone with a helmet 24/7 Why are you doing this to me Mina yaa..how can I go out?" He whines while clapping his feet, irritated somehow. Mina turns her head and smile, watching the guy express his annoyance.

Mina calls out for him, causing the guy to stop and throw a hopeless expression at her. She can't stop smiling and chuckle whenever she sees his face, it just that, for her, Chaeyoung is too cute and that styles suit him.

"Lay down, here" Mina taps his lap and Chaeyoung hesitantly follows, resting his head on her thighs and settle down. They face each other as she caresses his hair. "Is this the scratch?" She asks pointing to a thin red line on his cheeks. He nods and glare at her. Mina just laughs before she leans down, blowing the small wound. Chaeyoung's eyes widen from the approximate closeness. Her hairs fall perfectly covering his face from the world outside, and it feels like they are the only one exist. He can smell her natural jasmine scent and the fragrance shampoo. Ignoring the fact that the small cut is stinging in every breathe.

"We need to put a bandage on," Mina says as she pulls away. She's about to stand when Chaeyoung grabs her hand---stopping the girl to move any further.

"Can we stay like this...just for a while" He pleads as he lay to the sides, facing her belly and wraps his arms around her waist. Mina doesn't answer him but just smile again and continue stroking his hair, until she heard a small snore coming out from him. He must be tired. She thought. Mina stays for some time before tracing her fingers over every detail of his features. She swipes his bang to the side and put her palm against his forehead, rubbing it with her thumb.

Mina then replaces her lap with a pillow as she remembers the food must be cold already and she have to re-heat it, and plan to wake him when she's done.

She keeps him warms by bringing the comforter up to his shoulder then stares at his sleeping face. Mina pulls her hands and roams around his stomach, she stops when she can feel the scars that she sees before and even a lot more. She sighs and looks up to him.

I need an explanation for this.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	38. Scar

Chaeyoung blinks a few times as he's awakened by giggling sounds. When his eyes adjusted, he's greeted by Mina's smiley eyes. And to witness it first thing first after waking up are not for the faint of his heart. His pupil enlarges, blush burns through his cheeks and his face feels like a hot oven.

Mina notices the glowing red of his face and gives him a worried glance. She drags her hand that rests on his chest up to his forehead, and another on her own, comparing the temperature of their body. She studies his face and Chaeyoung could feel her breath on his skin, feel it slips between her lips. It makes things worse for him because of the nearness that could easily cause his heart to beat irregularly.

That is the time when it clicks to him that, she could be his. All he has to do is close that small distance.

The only thing that keeps him from moving is the realization that if he does suddenly kiss her, what will be the outcome? Adding the thoughts of--- they just get better. They're in the process of mending and working their relationship and to confess now, might not the right choice. He's still far from her and hasn't fully convinced the girl that he's worth loving for, hasn't gained her trust, heal her broken heart and binds up her wound.

Not yet. Chaeyoung tells himself as he breaks their eye contact and quickly looks around. Mina lowers herself, putting her head down on his chest, and focus listening to his racing heartbeat.

"Seriously!? Why do you easily catch a fever" Mina scold as she withdraws, certain that the younger is ill. Her brows connect as grave look craved on her face. Chaeyoung heaves a sigh in relief when the girl pulls away of him. He turns his head back, facing her and gives a deadpan expression.

"Look who's talking" He narrows his eyes at her, as to judge the girl for saying that. Mina stays silent, annoyed that it's a fact. She is the one who's always sick because of her weak immune system and the one who is always there for her is him. She ends up defeated then roll her eyes. Truth to be told, he is indeed feeling unwell as sweat trickle down the sides of his face, and his lips are dry.

"I'm just worried" Mina mumbles as she looks away, hates to see him in his weakest state. Chaeyoung smile as he catches her words then holds her hand, squeezing it to call for her. She averts her gaze to him, getting the signal. They stare at each other before he looks downwards, playing with their intertwined hands.

"Then, that's how I feel..each time you have fallen ill. You, laying down in the bed, with pale skin, glistening in sweat, and pained look on your face....then there's me, watching helplessly, hating myself that I can do nothing but to be there for you." He looks up to her, smiling even though it hurts because of the crack on his lips.

"....and believe me, in those time...I'm beyond worried" He continues.

Mina gives him a warm smile but it lit with a small light of sadness. "I know, I'm really thankful for your presence...... Me, on the bed and you sitting beside me, holding my hands." She pulls her long sleeve and wipes his sweat while she recalls the memories of the past, bringing a broad smile to her face.

"....and believe me, in that time, you help more than anything. Because of you...I feel safe and secure, I don't feel lonely"

Chaeyoung is stunned by it then let out a small laugh as he realizes she's mimicking his words. Mina joins him in the laughter then playfully pinch his nose, a bit too hard he groans and flick her hand. The girl hisses as she pulls away, shooting dagger at him.

"So..." Mina starts while checking his exact temperature using the digital thermometer and jots it down on a piece of paper. "I'm going to do the same as you did. Wait here. I'll bring the food, eat first then the medicine" Mina stands and walk out of the room, glancing over him for the last time. He smiles as to assure her that he's fine and with that Mina reciprocated the smile and make her way to the dining room.

* * * *

Chaeyoung stares at the bed trays in front of him and on top of it placed the food Mina prepared earlier. A chicken porridge that she just ordered, kimchi, rolled eggs, gimbap, seasoned spinach, a mushroom soup, shrimp pasta salad, beef meatball, and steak. His mouth twitches as to fight laughter for his random thought, Food from east to west under the same meal.....sounds great.

He fixes his position leaning against the headboard with a pile of a pillow on his back to support him. He steals a glance towards the girl that sits on the bedside chair, holding a book that fully covers her face. She's busy reading, as to everyone thought but no, it is an act. Mina quickly picks up a book and pretends to read it, hiding the fact that she's nervous and afraid that the food may taste awful. She isn't really paying attention to anything but roams her eyes as she waits for Chaeyoung to comment something.

Chaeyoung arc his brows, mouth slightly agape as he stares at the girl weirdly then to the book she's reading and back to her, only her crown is shown behind the hardcover. He slowly tilts his head to the side, 90 degrees to read the title of the book.

"Can you really read upside down?"

Upon hearing that, Mina immediately pulls the book down and she is really holding it wrong. She clears her throat and in one swift, turn the book and again bury her face behind it, ignoring his question. The girl bites her lips, feels like she wants to disappear into thin air because of embarrassment.

Did I say something wrong? Chaeyoung thought as he looks at her in confusion, trying to understand her action but giving up when his stomach asks to be filled. Mina raises her chin, peeking over the book when she heard the utensil hitting against each other. She examines Chaeyoung's expression after he takes the very first bite of the beef meatball before he shoves it inside his mouth, munching it and take a sip of water from time to time.

His face is unreadable and it's bugging Mina that he hasn't said a word but just eating the food, chomping it. *  
Does it mean, it tastes good? She asks herself a question that she can't answer. Curiosity could kill and Mina can't help but to stop him and question him about it. Chaeyoung just stares at her when the girl asks about the taste and he just smiles and blindly says, "It taste.....funny haha" And ends it with an awkward laugh.

"Then don't eat" Mina snaps and shut her book, putting it on the bedside table. She's about to take away the plates but the cub quickly put his arms around the mini table, protecting it. "How can you take back the food that you cooked for me. It's mine now..." He whines then stab the rolled eggs with a fork, pushing it inside his mouth and chew on it. Purposely, makes a sound to annoyed the brunette.

Mina sigh and sit back straight, folding her arms as she shoots bullets with her eyes, and it's a machine gun. Chaeyoung would have probably died by now if a glare could actually kill. He laughs nervously then act like he's being shot through the heart, and another on his stomach, and another on his shoulder.

"Mina, I'm dying..argh save me"

"Knock it off," Mina says, sighing. Couldn't believe that she can bear that childish act of him for years. Chaeyoung just laughs seeing the girl shakes her head and continue eating. As Mina watch him devouring the food, she keeps wondering how it really tastes like, kinda regrets that she doesn't give it a try before she brings the food to him. But, it should be fine since she follows precisely like what written in the recipe.

After pondering over it, she catches Chae-young's hand and grabs the spoon he used, using it to take a little from the mushroom soup and taste it. She freezes for a while and Chaeyoung just stares at her, she moves too quick he couldn't react on time. Mina groans and eats the other food and everything taste the same except the porridge that she buys--- it's salty. She looks up to him and Chaeyoung just do a peace sign before he takes the spoon back and proceeds to eat.

"Don't eat it. I'll cook for you again" Mina says, sounding serious. She tries to take away the plate again but Chaeyoung stops her for the second time. The cub knows when to jokes around and when not, just by hearing the tone Mina use, he learns that the girl is really upset and disappointed.

"It's delicious...really, maybe it's your nerve that sends false information to the brain haha" Chaeyoung wants to lift up the mood but it doesn't work at all as the girl sit rigidly in her position, staring into space. And to his surprise, he heard a small sniffle and it freaks him out. He instantly scoots closer and put his hand on her chin, lightly pulling it so they face each other.

"Hey, It's okay..I mean it tastes fine for me...besides how could I reject the first meal you cook for me. It doesn't really matter what it tastes like, I'll eat it all" He smiles sincerely, wiping her tears. Mina wanted to fly and find the blogger that wrote all the recipe, or is it her fault that she might be mistaken ingredients. But above that, she's mad at him for eating the food casually when it feels like you're eating a whole packet of salt, no wonder he keeps drinking for every bite.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Chaeyoung ends up finishing all of it even when Mina persuades him to stop and even have a small fight for it, he insists on eating it all. The girl just sighs and give up on him. Later, she makes him a banana smoothie ice cream as she feels guilty. She orders Chaeyoung not to help her but just watch her do the work and only alarm her if she's doing it wrong. And it works out since it's not that complicated, she success making it and the cub doesn't forget to compliment her for it.

They spend the rest of the day watching a movie marathon, Mina suggestion. The girl has her head nestles in Chaeyoung's chest and her arms hugging his waist as their body wraps with a warm blanket. Definitely, the guy has his hard time to cope with his pounding heart, while she keeps questioning him about it not knowing it isn't really because of his fever but herself. Fortunately, as time goes by he manages to calm himself from the intense emotions as the thought of Mina's affection and attention for him is no more than a, platonic love.

We clave to our friends for a sense of completeness, affirmation, belonging, and love; for the sake of honour and promises to keep; for intimacy in its numerous colours but still inside the proverbial line. That's where Mina is and Chaeyoung fully aware of it so having himself gets all nervous from the simple hug---that probably means nothing to her, somehow makes him feels small, hopeless and stupid. He gets rid of his fantasy of having a romantic relationship and be a good friend, after all, he knows that Mina is trying to accept him back and she needs more time.

"Hmmm, it's not beating hard anymore. I guess you get better a little?" Mina asks and pulls away, raise her chin a little to face him.

"I don't know..haha maybe?" He jokes and Mina just scrunches her nose from his unsure answer and it makes him laugh again. She takes the thermometer and records his temperature again, and to her relief, it decreased.

"Thank God" She smiles at him and he averts his gaze somewhere in the room, chuckle when the small gesture makes his heart flutter. Even, he can't believe himself anymore. Good for him, the girl moves and lay down, head on his lap as her eyes start to get heavy. Chaeyoung silently sighs, thankful that she change her position and he can finally focus on the screen.

Mina faces the side, where the television is, yawning occasionally. She takes his hands, seeking warmth playing with it under the duvet. She halts as her thumb comes across something, and slowly taking their hands out. Her eyes twitch and narrow as she tries to see clearly.

The room is under dimly lit, brightened by the flashing light of the television that causes her eyes to shines in a bluish glow. As the picture flickers, it became more and more visible--- the scars and cut on his wrist and all over his arm. She stares at it whenever she caught a glimpse, rubbing the scars with her finger, examining it- some are even new as it has a pink to reddish colour, some have light-coloured and flat and some have a slight ropelike appearance with a small width.

She breathes in and glances over him that has his eyes locked in front, not realizing Mina's movement and too numb to feel the small itchy and pain whenever she touch his scars. Mina closes her eyes, swallows the urge to get into the topic as it too sensitive and she's not that senseless to knows that now, is not the right time to talk about it. With that mindset, she pushes the matter to the side and decides to sleep.

* * * *

Chaeyoung stretches his arms upwards as the movie ends, it's just then he realizes Mina is already asleep. He brushes her hair, and smile as he scans her facial features even poking her moles for fun. As the hour hand pointing to sharp 11 pm, Chaeyoung finally moves from his position and replace his laps with the penguin pillow. Though he doesn't want to leave---appreciating the sight in front of him---he has to because he has his own bed, the couch in the living room. He stares at their hands and slowly pulls away, taken aback when Mina grabs his pinky finger, holding it tightly but still with her eyes closed.

"Sleep here" She whispers. Chaeyoung eyes widen, couldn't believe what he heard and ask if he heard it wrong but the girl repeats the same thing for him.

"I also have something to ask and please don't lie" She adds.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	39. Punished

The moon takes his place to illuminate the darkness guiding them through the night and silence surrounds them like stars in a freckled night sky.

Both laying on each side of the bed, he's on left, while she's on the right separated by Snowball in the middle of them and now Chaeyoung regret to actually buys it in the first place.

He has his left hand rest on his stomach, glancing towards his side once in a while. Though he can't see her because of the stuffed toys, knowing that she is on the other side makes him happy. No one has spoken a word, but enjoyed the warmth of companionship incessantly as they lay on their backs.

"Aren't you curious?" Mina whisper but loud enough for him to hear her. She still contemplating to jump into the topic, realizing that it will lead to a stressful conversation.

Chaeyoung smile and turns his head facing the ceiling "I am..but I don't want to push it, I'm just waiting for you to start"

Mina sigh and turns over towards him, she pulls her hand, bringing it up to the teddy bear's belly. "I'm cold," She says, opening her palm. The cub smile exposing his dimple then follows her position. He reaches for her hand and grasps it warmly, fingers are tangle with each other.

And just like that, they fall back into silence. Mina plays with their hands squeezing, tapping and pinch his finger earning a soft chuckle from him. When she finds the right time, she grabs his wrist and lightly brushing her thumb on the back of his hand. It is a stab of panic to him, startled, Chaeyoung tries to pull away but Mina's grab tighten.

"Where did you get this from? What happened?"

He closes his eyes, after all his fears come into reality. He never expected that there will be a time where they'll talk about it or even thought of her finding it out. It takes painfully some time for him to form something or create an excuse to avoid whatever the conversation will lead to.

"It's...I--"

"Don't lie to me, please" Mina cut off, hoping that he'll be honest. For her, there are no such things as a secret, personal lives or space between them. They always open up and rely on each other, but that's before everything changed and now it feels like he becomes distant, unfamiliar.

She just wanted to gain a better understanding of him but his reply shatter all of her expectation.

"Can we not talk about it?"

She takes a moment to process his words since she's convinced that he'll tell her and finally they will talk freely and share a deep conversation but no, it's the opposite. The girl slowly releases her hand, disappointed. "Yeah...You don't have to answer me" but I wish you would. She turns around, facing away from him and forces herself to sleep as she covers herself with the duvet.

Chaeyoung doesn't regret what he said, in fact, it's for the better. There's no use or point to dig the past, especially in this crucial time. It will just remind him of the promise he fails to keep, the pain they have been through and they'll end up feeling the same way- miserable.

He raises his body and checking her up, sighing when all he can see is her back. He lay and did the same.

"You've changed"

Chaeyoung heard her low murmurs but decide to ignore it. Slowly it starts to unfold and fall apart causing him to wretchedly nervous and afraid that he'll lose the chance. A little bit more, just a little bit more. He thought

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Mina yells and awakens with a gasp, her body naturally goes into a defensive mode. Her heart beating fast with a buzzing in her brain and together they are as panic with jump-leads. She instantly cups her mouth with her hand when she's finally back into reality, catches the guy tossing around and groan but fortunately to her relief, he back into a deep slumber.

She gulps before she sits up to compose herself. Slowly but surely, she pushes herself out of bed, letting her feet hit the cool floor as the coldness of the air is more apparent. With the remaining energy, she forces her legs to properly function without her falling to the ground, then disappear to the dining room.

Mina stares at the pills on her palm, debating to take it or not. She recalls Nayeon's words, advising her before she makes a decision.

"This is antidepressant and sleeping pills, I wouldn't recommend you to take it but only if it necessary"

Considering the baby health, Mina throws the pills away to the trash can and simply drink water to wash the last bit of a nightmare that still stuck inside her mind. She stays in the living room and calms herself before heading upstairs with a first aid kit.

Mina settles down on the chair, and turn on the bedside lamp to see Chaeyoung's face clearly. The latter move a little, showing discomfort from the sudden lighting and turns his head away. She chuckles and stroke his hair, thumb caressing his eyebrows. She stares at his hand and slowly lifts it to put an ointment to the scars, same goes to his stomach. Sometimes she stops and pulls her hand when the guy hiss in his sleep then do it more gently.

When she's done, she takes a picture of his scars and sends it to Jihyo, relying on her to ask her aunt---who is a doctor, for a more accurate prescription cream or gel for his wound.

Only an hour ago the blackness is absolute, but now the mist is visible, silvery. Come mid-morning those birds singing, the sound of the dawn chorus. Mina chooses not to sleep and stay beside him, staring at the ultrasound images of their baby then knit small baby socks as she waits for the sun to rise and the morning to come.

* * * *

Mina helps Irene to cooks and learn from the older, truthfully she admires the maid and hopes to learn more from her. They shared random conversation along the way then soon finds themselves compatible.

Chaeyoung and Mina haven't talked until now and Irene notices the thick silence between the both of them. She tries to lift up the mood by asking Chaeyoung about his condition and Mina about her pregnancy but a single question receives a simple answer and a forced smile by them.

Chaeyoung left for his college and ask Irene to take good care of Mina as always while the mentioned girl stays inside her room. Mina text her older sister asking to meet her in a nearby cafe. She informs Irene when Sana arrives to fetch her.

* * * *

Sana park her car and together the sisters walk to the cafe. The warm air welcomed them with a coffee smell, mixing the smell of chocolate and cakes, it circulates the shop because the coffee bar is located near the left side of the door.

They go sit on the corner of the shop. Sitting quietly on the soft sofa, listening to soft classical music lingering the place. Sana breaks the silence as her coffee warmed her freezing hand while Mina sips her honey tea.

"So, you said you have something to ask" Sana begins.

Mina put her cup on the table and raise his head, just to meet Sana wondered eyes. "I saw scars on Changie's body. Unnie, do you know anything about it?"

The older arcs her brow and sighs before she sits up straight. "That's good then. So, what do you think about it?" Her voice flat, sound like she's challenging her younger sister.

"Unnie, please answer me"

Sana clicks her tongue, thinking whether she has the right to interfere. "You know Mina, when we do something bad, we believe that we have to be punished"

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	40. Slim Chance

Chaeyoung couldn't concentrate on his class, his mind going over and over the same thoughts and worries, leaving little headspace for him to focus clearly. He has his eyes wandering outside the window the whole time. When it's break time, instead of going to the cafeteria, he heads to the top floor of the campus building and escapes to the rooftop. For a moment, he stands there, inhaling the scent of the city. There is a cold wind blowing and a bit of rain on the air, but Chaeyoung doesn't care.

He stays there for his entire classes then leaves the college after clearing his mind. Since the sun hasn't yet poked above the horizon at noon, he decides to meet someone precious and buys groceries for the person. He is seeking encouragement to take one leap.

When Chaeyoung arrives at the old and cosy restaurant, he sees her. Wearing an old, floral dress that goes up to her knees. Her hair, which is like a web of silver yarn, encased her head. Her face wrinkled, but the lines on her face made her look sweet. Chaeyoung moves closer and greeted by a hug from the old lady. Something about her made him feel at home.

As what he thought, Nana first question his casted arms and he successfully makes a lame excuse then receive a continuous nag from the old lady. He sighs when Nana is done and time to time remind him to be careful not to trip anymore.  
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"Are you here to deliver good news?" Nana smiles as she serves his orders and sits in front of him. It saddens Chaeyoung to think about telling the truth to Nana, for what had happened to them---Mina, him, and his mistakes. That he already ruin everything including the love of his life.

"Just....the same" He mumbles, guilty for choosing to keep the horrific event a secret. Nana hums as a reply and they fall into silence. He starts eating while Nana puts a dish on top of his spoon to be eaten with rice and keep telling him to eat more. Chaeyoung smiles and thanking the old woman for treating him like her own son.

"There's always that chance, isn't there? That slim chance." She begins. Her soothing voice hasn't changed.

Chaeyoung stops and picks his gaze from the food to Nana. He looks at her and slowly nods in agreement, putting the utensils down. Nana smiles, and hold his hands that rest on the table.

"Then go for it"

He lowers his head, If only you knew. He thought. Chaeyoung bites his lips and stares at Nana. The old lady is always a gentle and a soft-spoken person, a listener to him, a comforter and most importantly a mother. He is certain that Nana will be very disappointed at him and might kick him from the restaurant, but that isn't the reason she keeps the incident a secret from Nana, it's because of he doesn't want Nana to be worried.

The meeting with Nana ends with a warm hug from the old lady. And though he keeps heartening her to live with him in the city, Nana refuses and wanted to spend the rest of her life in the small village. Chaeyoung doesn't against it, but he is not hesitant to force her if it comes to her health care since there are a more medical institution and opportunities in the city. Nana just laughs at the younger persistence and promise him to take care of herself.

Chaeyoung asks for another hug before he leaves, smiling happily at Nana while waving his hand. As soon as he turns around, his smile drops as he walks along the ground road with his hands inside his pocket.

Nana watches him struggling to pulls himself to stand due to the invisible weight on his shoulder. After all, the old lady can see behind those masked smile of him.

"I see, what goes around comes around. It must be hard for both of you....I know"  
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Chaeyoung's eyes caught a bookstore as he rides a bus, he immediately gets off the public transport and roams around the shop. It's over three floors and is full of a tiny room. He keeps wandering until he sees a baby's section book. In an instant, a light of joy creep inside him and soon fill his heart. The guy explores all of the selves, examining it---finding it amusing how he enjoyed a classic tale and a picture book. He ends up buying twelve books from Dr Seuss so he can read it to their unborn child and some classic novel for Mina.

He's almost running home when he realizes the time but a buzzing sound stops him---a message from Irene stating that Mina went out with her sister. Chaeyoung sigh and saunter to the park, thinking he still has spare time. He settles down under a tree to cover him from the sun. He sits on the ground, back against the trunk as he searches for a colourful book inside his shoulder bags. Chaeyoung wears his glasses and starts writing while using his lap as support.

Hi! my daughter haha. Hmm, dad actually alone right now because mom is meeting your aunt. So, dad is a bit lonely haha. Today, dad bought some books for you hmmm you must be shared the same hobby with your mom right? You know, she's a bookworm hahaha. By the way....dad can't wait to see you and show you the world. It's a really beautiful place...and a bit dangerous haha, but don't worry dad will always protect you from any harm..same goes to your mom. I love you, my daughter...

He smiles as he stops writing. He closes his pens and takes out a colour pencil and marker for decoration, adding a small drawing as he lets his left hand dancing on the book. Though he gets through difficulty, he keeps going until his drawing is acceptable based on his point of view.

When he finally satisfied with his work, Chaeyoung stands and pack his things. He first meets his personal doctor to remove the cast. It's a relief to him that he can finally move his right arms and it can function properly. After the meeting, he doesn't forget to buys a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolate before he goes straight home.

* * * *

The sisters spend some time at their parent's house, visiting them and decide to go home when it's already seven o'clock in the evening.

Mina caresses the small amulet on her bracelet. The red strings perfectly wrap around her wrist, she stares at it along the ride to her house. A tear escaped her eyes but she quickly wipes it off, sighing as she leans back and closes her eyes- trying her best to sleep on whatever feeling she's having.  
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As soon as Sana stop the car, Mina wakes up. Well, she never actually asleep, her mind is still thinking, her ear is still listening, the one that changed is her vision is no more than darkness and her emotion has calm down.

Sana hugs the younger and pats her head as they bid goodbye. They exchange a faint smile before Mina hops off the car, she waves her hand as she watches Sana drives away. When the car out of her sight, she turns around to walk inside her house but stops as she catches a figure standing behind a glass window beside the main door. It reveals Chaeyoung with his pinkies apron and left hand holding a ladle---peeking outside. Half of his body covered by the curtain and when their eyes meet, the cub blush and quickly run away disappearing to the house.

Mina involuntarily smiles, shaking her head as she makes her way.  
Cutie. She thought.

Once she closes the door behind her, Mina is greeted by the younger smiling sheepishly while both his hand occupied by a box of chocolate and a bouquet of flower on each side. He looks away, embarrassed for what just happened earlier. The girl walks closer to him, smiling as she stares at the guy.

"I see your hand is healed already"

Chaeyoung raises his head and looks at her, nodding as the answer to her statement. "Is this for me?" Mina asks, referring to the items he's holding. Though she knows, well obviously it's for her who else it would be? But the girl just feels to tease him.

Chaeyoung once again nods. Mina smiles and takes the melting chocolate ball, tasting it. She hums, narrowing her eyes, wanting to lie and tell him that the taste is bad but she has no heart to do so when Chaeyoung look at her with those puppy eyes. She let out a small laugh and take another.

"Ahhhhh" Mina opens her mouth and the guy getting the idea follows. She feeds him, smiling all the way. Chaeyoung munch it and is taken aback at how delicious it is. Worth buying. He thought. "It tasty though?" He wonders.

"Did I say anything" Mina replies, smirking at him. She takes the flower and excuses herself to change and arrange the flower inside her bedroom. Before she heads upstairs, she tightens her grip on the strap of her shoulder purse then turn her heels.

"Thank you," She says softly and smiles at him. Chaeyoung just bites his lips and nods for the nth time, jumping a bit when the girl no longer there, a broad smile form on his face.  
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They sit across each other in the dining table, they never really talk much when eating so the silence that engulfed between them is not uncomfortable but warm. When they finish, the younger successfully convince Mina to let him wash the dishes while insisting the girl to take some rest.

Mina won't let herself leaving the guy alone in the kitchen, she waits for him. Staring at his back view while sitting on the chair, palm supporting her chin.

"Isn't it pretty obvious. The answer is there why avoiding it and ask me the reason?"

"Mina, do you really know him despite being friends for years. You said he changed but what if the one that you see now is the true him? I don't have a place to say anything more but, he'll tell you. Just wait for him"

Mina sigh silently, reminiscing Sana's last words. It's true that she suspects him harming himself but she doesn't want to accept it. She stands when Chaeyoung takes off his gloves and jolts when she suddenly behind him. He asks if the girl needs anything but receive no answer, starting to get nervous when Mina just eyeing him wordlessly.

She closes the distance then wraps her arms around him. Chaeyoung stop moving, his muscle becomes tense as his hands still lock hanging in the air.

"M-mina--"

"Hug time"

He looks down to sees her face but the girl hides her own as she faced the side, head on his chest. Chaeyoung worriedly reciprocates the hug, anxious that Sana might tell the girl his secret. Mina shut her eyes, there's something so warm, something that feels right smells right. He gives her the respect of an equal but cradles her like a cherished child. She feels him brushing her hair back with his artistic fingers and kiss her crown gently.

"Why do you..hurt yourself?..." She whispers with silent sobs. "Please don't..don't do it anymore or I'll kill you"

Chaeyoung holds her tighter and rubs her arms. Smiling when he heard the last audible murmurs of hers. He's in awe how Mina's emotion can drastically change in time to time continuing to surprise him.

"Alright ma'am...ouch!" Mina bites his torso and glared at him, it's strong enough to leave a mark while the guy just let out a small laugh. He wipes her tears then pulls her back to his embrace.

"I already take a leave of absence at the college. Let's have a vacation" Chaeyoung says.

* * * *

It's seven in the morning the cub slowly rolls over the bed and get off. He sits on the floor and peeks---where Mina still in dreamland hugging Snowball. He squats walking like a duck so he wouldn't get caught as the girl is really sensitive to noise. Luck is never on his side when his pinky toes hit the edge of the bed, grinding his teeth in a silent scream. He lay on his stomach but accidentally bump his head at their luggage for their flight today to Jeju Island.

Chaeyoung just sighs and crawl to the door. Blowing his feet as he closes the door then goes downstairs.

"It must be here now"

He excitedly jumps and swings his hand as he makes a beeline to their front door waiting for someone. A few moments later, a man shows up, greet him and hands a box. Chaeyoung signs all the required paper and thanks the delivery man. It takes longer than he expected for the things to arrive but excuses it since it's a custom-designed.

He looks down at the box and opens it, revealing another small item.

A dark blue velvet ring box.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	41. Your Love

Mina and Chaeyoung are packed, waiting for the driver sends by his father to take them to the airport for their flight to Jeju Island. As they board one of the private jet own by the Son's and take their seats, they are talking about the resort island with its magnificent view of nature and what Mina might expect when she gets there. The girl hasn't been to the place---just because she doesn't like to go out, a homebody---not like Chaeyoung who usually forced by his father to follows him for work out of the town or country, so Jeju Island isn't a strange place for him. Plus, they have a branch office on the island.

The flight takes an hour and a quarter long. Now, that the plane has taken off and shortly the Captain announces that they'll be landing. As they depart the plane and walk down the hallway, Mina texts her mother informing that they already arrived safely. Since the girl never separated anywhere far from her family, her mother is really worried though they still inside the same country.

Chaeyoung first settles their luggage before they drive off to the private villa. He glances to his side and witnesses Mina staring out the window for the whole ride. A smile form on his lips as he can see her reflection, her eyes are sparkly and awestruck admiration shown on her face. As they get further into the woods, Mina rolls down the window and inhale a big lump of air before releasing it slowly. There's a smell of damp leaves and she could hear the rustle of roosting bird and eerie noise.

Chaeyoung park the white Toyota RAV4 Hybrid in front of the wooden villa then look at the girl, she has her eyes closed sinking into her seat. He takes the opportunity to stare at her face, admiring her feature then put his hand inside his pocket, brushing the small box with his thumb. He sighs and lay back, deciding not to interrupt her sleep and just wait until she wakes up.

It doesn't take long when the girl moves a little and soon awaken by the sound of water splashing from the stream. Her eyes search for him when she realizes she's alone in the car with his brown coat works as a blanket to cover her from the chilly wind. She sighs in relief when she caught him from the wing mirror walking towards the car.

"Oh, you're awake" Chaeyoung states the obvious then sticks his head into the passenger's window, bending a bit as his chin rests on his folded arm. Mina glares at him, upset that he's leaving her alone. The younger smiled apologetically before pulling his right hand that he hides behind his back, revealing a bunch of daisies. Mina scoff and involuntarily smile then take the flowers. She doesn't forget to pinch his cheeks for punishment while Chaeyoung gladly accepts it with a chuckle.

He opens the door for her and helps the girl to get off the car. Mina looks around, it's cosy beneath the canopy of yellow to brown and red. "Thank you," She says, smiling at him. Chaeyoung nods and smiles back before he walks behind her, lightly pushing the girl to get inside the house while skipping on his track. "Come on, hurry. Let's eat after we unpack. You haven't eaten anything since on the plane."

Mina roams her eyes trying to decide where she will put everything. She hangs her coat, skinny jeans and maternity dresses in the wardrobe and lined up her shoes---sandals, ballet flats, and sneakers- underneath her clothes. She doesn't bring a lot as they'll go shopping in the town. It takes her half an hour to nearly finished unpacking, the only things left are her books. She wanders all over the place, searching for a bookshelf but sees nothing. That's when her eyes caught a floor mirror that stands in the corner of her bedroom.

She walks closer and stands before it. Staring at her own reflection triggers the insecurity inside her. In this society, she often feels painted in the background, and it doesn't matter for her. She enjoyed being unnoticed and blended in the crowd because that's who she is, the girl hates to be the center of attention. She seeks for space and privacy. But, it's different now, the image of a young girl carrying a child is not acceptable in this community and in a blink of eyes, she becomes the talk of people.

She isn't that numb and fully aware of the disgusted look people thrown at her. She tries to ignore it and does it perfectly but, it still spark the anxiety in her, it still hurt to be called 'sluts', and listen to those rumours that aren't true. They don't even know anything, yet they judge me. She thought.

It's all about the idea of becoming a mother at an early age and Mina unsure if she can or even ready to be a mother but one thing for sure, she loves her baby more than anything. It's true that her stupid self almost aborts the tiny life inside her but now, she's thankful it isn't the case.

Mina caresses her bump and examining herself from head to toe. I grew uglier and fatter. She thought. The girl shakes her head and sigh, chuckling at her own weird thinking. Why is it even important? She never feels so low about herself and how her image on the mirror crashing her self-esteem. But, she just wishes that there's someone....

"You look gorgeous"

.....that can make her feel better about herself.

Mina raises her head upon hearing the sudden compliments. She watches Chaeyoung swing his legs towards her. The guy smiles and stands behind the girl, slowly place his hands on her shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. He peeks over and their eyes meet, staring at each other via the mirror.

"And beautiful inside," He adds pertaining to the inner beauty. Mina just smiles but it's that kind of smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Chaeyoung catches her expression and quickly step forwards, standing in between the girl and the mirror, blocking her from seeing her reflection. With a joyous look, he reaches out and cups her cheeks gently, made her meet his gaze.

"At the core of your heart, you are perfect and pure. No one and nothing can alter that."

Mina lifts her hand and resting it on his, bathed in the guy soft words as she feels the warm touch of his hands. Chaeyoung smiles softly and pulls her into a hug, cradled her head against his shoulder while stroking her hair. She snuggles closer as she buries her face into the crook of his neck. Her hands snaked around his waist and she relaxes against him with a contented sigh.

"I'll bring your book to the library" He says when he sees the boxes near them labelled as 'Pengu's books' are still unopened. The girl nods then pull him closer, indicating him to stay still.

"Later" She whispers. Chaeyoung smile and they hug for a few more minutes.  
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After they arrange their things, Chaeyoung suggests that they go to a nearby restaurant for a bite to eat and she agreed. As they hit the small yet fancy restaurant, he pulls a chair for her to sit on before settling down in front of her. Mina just goes along although she feels something off and weird, eyeing the younger then smile at him. When their food arrives, Chaeyoung takes her plate and cut the steak into smaller pieces beforehand it to the girl and says,

"Eat well"

She stares at him, narrowing her eyes as he already digs his meals. Mina plants her gaze somewhere and mumbles a 'thank you' whereas Chaeyoung only nods, eyes locked on his food. For some odd reason, the silence is uncomfortable and awkward for Mina. She steals a glance at him and the guy keeps his head low and eat, not minding anyone or anything. She clears her throat to gain his attention and she succeeds as Chaeyoung lift his head.

"You're being extra generous today. Something good happens? Or.." Mina smile and leans forward, smirking at him "Do you want something from me?" She playfully asks just to tease the cub but Chaeyoung stays still, not even affected by her jokes and just stare at her.

"Yes," Chaeyoung mindlessly answers. His voice firm that causes mina blinks and pulls away, she breaks their eyes contact when she feels his intense stare.

"What is it?"

Your love.

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	42. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously,
> 
> "You're being extra generous today. Something good happens? Or.." Mina smile and bend forward, smirking at him "Do you want something from me?" She playfully asks just to tease the cub but Chaeyoung stays still, not even affected by her jokes and just stare at her.
> 
> "Yes," Chaeyoung mindlessly answers. His voice firm that causes mina blinks and pulls away, she breaks their eyes contact when she feels his intense stare.
> 
> "What is it?"
> 
> Your love.

• Chapter 42 •

Chaeyoung presses his lips and smile. He knows Mina for years, and that expression she's showing means uneasy, confusion and something else he couldn't understand and those unknown things are ignored by him.

"Nothing"

Mina's eyes twitches. She isn't that numb to notice his changing behaviour. When she looks at him at the moment, Now, it feels like the usual him is back; the warm and funny guy she always knew. The girl isn't satisfied with his answer, just a minute before he says yes and now taking back his words aren't acceptable for her. Although she wants to confront the younger, something stopping her from saying anything more.

"Mina, do you really know him despite being friends for years. You said he changed but what if the one that you see now is the true him? I don't have a place to say anything more but, he'll tell you. Just wait for him"

Mina sigh and continue finishing her food, deciding to follows Sana's advice which is to 'Wait for him' She looks up again and an idea pops inside her. "Chaeyoungie" She reaches his hand and taps it, calling for him. The cub raises his brows, asking if she needs anything. Mina beams her gummy smile.

"Let's play a game. 100 questions. But I'm the one who's asking and you're the one who answers, truthfully"

Chaeyoung's brow connected as he still processing the girl's suggestion. He opens his mouth then close it again, loss of words. After a minute pass, he asks, "What for? I mean why?"

"Just....for fun" She exclaims, smiling at him. Nope, it's not for a simple game but a chance for Mina to recognize him. Maybe it sounds childish and stupid, but the point is to get to know him on a deep level all over again, so they can connect, so they can be closer. The fact that she can feel him a thousand miles away from her, sometimes seen him as a complete stranger, and how it bothers her that her sister---Sana seems to know the guy more than her, who is his best friend makes her upset....and maybe envy. She just wants to meet the real him.

"O...kay, " Chaeyoung nods slowly, understanding. He considers the small game she offers and a bit terrified at the outcome. It'll feel like he's interrogated and cornered in a place where he can't escape. Though his mind rejects it, his heart wants to tell her, wants to show her, and most importantly want her to acknowledge him and to finally sees him.

"....but, isn't it a bit unfair?" He trails off.

Mina hums and thinks for a while, trying to come up with something "Umm, you can ask me questions and I'll answer" She says, but the guy already has something planned in his mind. He half-heartedly smiles "No need, I know you too well". He shifts his eyes back to her and that solemn expression change into a mockery face.

"How about...you grant me a wish every ten answers I gave?" He chewed his cheeks, aren't sure where this conversation will lead to and what will be her reaction to his probably the dumbest and most bravery suggestion ever.

"I'm fine with it," She agreed, taking it a challenge. "So, what do you want?"

Chaeyoung slowly heaves a sigh, fighting back the smile that wants to break out. Lucky for him that his ears are hidden among his hair, unknown by the girl how rosy it is. He leans forward, resting an arm on the table while he tilts his head to the side. Mina just watches his movement in confusion, wondering why he doesn't say anything. Then it occurred to her when Chaeyoung points his cheeks with his index finger and glance at her, wearing that silly grin.

"A kiss on the cheeks?" She asks and the guy nods wordlessly, still smiling, showing off his deep dimple. The girl let out a small laugh then lay back to her seat as she narrows her eyes at him. Chaeyoung chuckles and pulls back, feeling small and weak under her stare.

"Nah, I'm just kidd---"

"Alright" Mina cut off, smiling at him.

* * * *

"Iron man or...Captain America?" Mina asks as she puts a potato chip inside the trolley while eating a french fries. The guy just smiles as he pushes the shopping cart, trailing the girl, while time to time, sneakily place whatever convenience food she put inside, back to the shelf.

"I prefer Aquaman"

The brunette nods, her back is facing him as she walks two feet ahead. Still adding late snacks---fruit pies, candies, chocolate bar, packaged cookies, and few more different brands just thrown at the basket.

Chaeyoung sigh staring at his---soon to be wife, who's a shopping liability. Especially when it comes to her friend, junk food. It's not because he hates those foods she buys but the girl always eats too much junk food to the point it concerns him. If he sends her to the store to get a hamburger, they'll get chips, ice cream, and more chips. She'll go willingly---to the store but doesn't do well staying on his list. You think you're going to make some pasta, but you don't have any noodles, you have a lot of chips.

After an hour of grocery shopping, they go for a moonlight stroll around the town and get lay of the land, discovering wonderful things, buy little gifts and souvenirs. They walk along the pavement having the warming, orange glow of street lamps while she has her hands hugging his arms. The shimmering sparkles of star brilliantly silhouetted into the darkness and the night fill with a pleasant silence.

"If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?"

Chaeyoung hums and side glance at the girl. It's not a tough question for him to answer but a tough decision for him to says what first comes into his mind. Quality, To be enough for you. Ability, To be perfect in your eyes.

"Confidence and time travel"

Mina stop her track and face him, "Time travel?" The younger nods and she could see his eyes are dull and empty, yet they told a story of sadness and regret. Without a single word she finally understands. A soft smile crossed her face as she pulls her hands, resting it on his shoulder.

"And that's the 10th question," Mina tiptoed to his side and gives him a light kiss on the cheeks. When she pulls away, the guy still rigid in his place and the sight of him makes her chuckles. Chaeyoung brings his hand and caresses the place where Mina leaves a tiny red mark due to her lipstick. His heart is pounding too hard, it makes him dizzy for a while. A bright smile showed on his face as he tries to gain his conscious from the sudden move. He does not expect that.

This dork and his lovely smile. Mina moves to his side and hugs his arms, gesturing the guy to continue walking but end up gently dragging him since he's still in his own little world.

That small action releases the tension between them earlier and replaced by a relatively timid atmosphere. It's not a negative silence but most likely shyness take over them.

They proceed walking leisurely admiring the view of the night while she still asking questions and he answers it with honesty. When they reach the end of the sidewalk, both glancing at each other and grin before they jump on the curb with the sound of a little thud as their feet landed on the street. Both laughing with the realization that they still act like a kid.  
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"Do you like high school life or college life more?" Mina sips her milk while gazing out of the cafe window. Her head rests against his chest as the guy sits beside her, both shared a blanket to warm themselves while listening to the light classical music. They are the only customer since it's nine at night and unlike the outside, the cafe is warm and antique.

Chaeyoung finds her hand and holds it. "High school," He says without hesitation.

"And why?"

"Because...you were there"

She smiles upon hearing it, scooted closer and leans against him. His heartbeat calms her down, closing her eyes, she tuned everything out. A yawn escapes her mouth before she slowly falls asleep.

Chaeyoung looks over when he feels her hand's grip loosening, only to see her sleeping face. "Sleep tight" He mutters as he runs her fingers through her hair. The guy watches her sleep with a fond smile while she wraps her arms around his waist. Chaeyoung laughs knowing that Mina really like this position and he mentally takes notes of it. He decides to carries the girl when it's already midnight back to their car and tucks her in. He gently places Mina in the passenger seat and buckles her up then drives off.

* * * *

The next morning. The villa is almost too quiet. Chaeyoung is busy in the kitchen. He knows Mina needs to eat, though he doesn't require it. He's making her some french toast as she sits at the table, drinking her apricot juice while staring out the window. She's thankful for the gift he bought for her---the classic books but as for now, she refused to read any further since the story reaches its breaking point that could lead to her downfall. Whereas, she's supposed to be happy and enjoys this spare time with Chaeyoung. She fights the urge to drown herself back into reading but focused on them.

"Can we go for a hike today?" Mina asks, gazing out across the woodlands. The old, yellow-brown leaves hustled in the wind then falls flutter down, sparse in the cool mid-autumn air.

"Maybe to the hill," She adds, the light returning to her eyes.

Chaeyoung hums and turns around. His brows creased as he leaves the toaster out on the counter and walks towards the girl, standing in front her "Are you okay with it? Isn't it too much" His eyes clouded with belated concern and his voice lost its edge.

Mina looks up to him and smile."Exercise is safe Chaengie, the doctor even recommends it. Plus, I want some fresh air." She reasoned but the guy still considering the pros and cons, averting his eyes somewhere. "Let's go, please" She pokes his tummy again and again while making a small whine. Chaeyoung rolls his eyes playfully and scoffs as he faces the girl back. Mina giggles to celebrate her little winning then cup her mouth, trying to suppress her laughter as the younger give her a deadpan look.

"Well, if it's fine with you... alright then. After you eat breakfast okay?"

Mina bobs her head as they exchange smiles and the younger takes her empty glass then makes another juice for her. Throughout breakfast, the girl still asking curious questions and learn more about him while he patiently answers all of them.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

After the early morning meal, Chaeyoung tidied the house, ran the dishwasher, takes out the trash, wiping the counters and basically keeping the place clean, presentable in the eyes and most importantly safe. He doesn't want the overwhelmed mountains of stuff everywhere in the house since it's dangerous, especially for Mina, blow over the chances of her to slip and fall, that will be a disaster.

Mina is preparing herself for their activity later. She wanted to help him but like usual he never let her do the work, insisting the girl to get some rest and wait for him until he's done with the cleaning. She looks for clothes that suitable for hiking because the clothing option is limited due to her growing bump. She then heads to the living room, wearing brightly-coloured fabrics that stretch and expand without losing her shape.

Chaeyoung turns his phone off when he heard footsteps, he smiles admiring her beauty and spring up from the couch. As he reaches the girl, he brushes her hair into a ponytail and proceeds to braid it. The cub then motions her to wait before he disappears to his room then back with a waterproof jacket. Mina thanks him as she wears the oversize Parka, she forgets to bring hers and it is too late to buy a new one---but it's better that way, wearing his clothes, it smelled like Chaeyoung. He always has that floral fruity scent which is unique for a guy and, she likes it.

Warm and comforting.

"The day is a bit cold," Chaeyoung says and pull the zip all the way up to her collar. That thing pretty much swallowed her, covering half of her face. She tries to say something but it comes out as an unclear mumble and the guy just laugh it off and says "Welcome" getting a hunch of what she's trying to deliver.

They start their walk by following a footpath through the woods which would lead them to a wide earthen trail going higher up in the hill. She walks slow and steady while keeping a firm grip to him whenever they pass on rocky and uneven terrain. Chaeyoung will slide down first and offers her his hand to help her crossed the dell, a small secluded hollow. Then they hiked along the trail which is the best well-planned route---thanks to him.

They walk through skeletal trees, their branches so bare that she could have counted the leaves on each and every single one as she passes by. With an invisible spiral of breeze, she watches the golden leaves takes to air the elegant dance then pirouetted down. When the wind calm, the dance ends and so do the rustling sound.

She takes the opportunity to empty her mind and enjoy the beauty of mother nature. A refreshing breeze invites them to linger just a bit longer and how can she not love the fact that he is also there, arms wrap around her shoulder---someone who is that important to her.

Chaeyoung has his camera with him taking photographs of each passing moment, the beautiful landscape. But, truth to be told, rather than the breathtaking scenery, he is more captivated by the girl and his eyes involuntarily search for her. Finding the latter smiling, closing her eyes, picking up the dry leaves and show a content expression, makes him really happy. Well, a photo of her won't be hurt right? He thought, convincing himself that it's not an act of him become a sudden creep and stalker.

As they reach the peak of the hill, Chaeyoung opens his backpack and takes a mat, lay it down on the flat grassy ground. The journey takes them an hour for three and a half miles. The girl isn't that exhausted but something else. They settle down on the mat and Chaeyoung set the lunchbox he brings from home and pours some warm soup that he packed inside thermos into a cup. He lifts his head when a rumbling sound is heard, witnessing the girl look away as to hide her blushing face.

"Aigoo, my baby is hungry," He says holding a laugh as he leans and put his hands on Mina's bump, caressing it.

"Yeah, the baby is hungry. So feed us" Mina rolls her eyes which earn a chuckle from him. The guy prepares sandwiches and salad for her while a mixed fruit with yoghurt for him. She moves and sits beside the younger as both watches the sunrise like a flower opening and birds chirped an explicit background melody. With breath pause in her lungs, she wishes time would halt.

"By the way, you owe me the 40th and 50th kiss" Chaeyoung bluntly says as he leans his cheeks towards her. "Now, where's my kiss?" Mina scoff and pull down the zip of her jacket, then give him a peck twice. He smiles in satisfaction and continues munching his food. They fall back into silence then it ticked something she always wanted to know.

"Say, why do you lose contact with me when you went abroad last time? Wait no, why do you ignore my calls? For months?" Mina asks, eyes lock on the orange-hued rays of sunrise. Her voice shows a slight frustration although she tries to sound normal.

Chaeyoung notices her tone and sighs silently. He never thought that the girl still thinking it and it stays at the back of her head. Though it's true that he never explains anything, the guy hopes she'll forget about it but nope it isn't the case.

"I--" He starts, Mina swiftly changes his position facing him, waiting.

"Because...I wanted to see you too much. Because, I missed you too much. If I heard your voice, I'd wanted to run back to you. I didn't call on purpose. I really held it." Chaeyoung holds both her hands, keeping his head low. Just tell her everything, "So, I work day and night to finish all the work so I can meet you as soon as possible"

Mina is stunned hearing his confession, never crosses her mind that it will be the reason. She goes speechless and only stares at him blankly. The cub clears his throat and smiles at her.

"You don't have to say anything. I  
understand"

That's the last things he said until now, where both of them goes back to the Villa with only silence fills the air.

* * * *

Night rolls in. Chaeyoung turns off the stove and takes his apron off. He pours the pumpkin soup into two small bowls then scatters granola as toppings. He then lumbers over to the oven and pulls out a plate, on which a short stack of pancakes has been lovingly arranged. He prepares to two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice and put the whole lot onto the large silver serving tray and walks over to the porch. He sets it down on a table that sits in front of a swing bed. He does an arrangement for candles and light, giving a warm, soft and pleasant look.

The lingering light a bit obliterated by the rapidly falling night, He looks upward and a weak smile plastered on his face as he stares at the moon, hoping it will guide him through the night. After stuffing the bed with pillows, he heads upstairs to wake Mina.

"She must be tired" He mumbles as he sits at the edge of the bed, bringing the comforter up to her shoulder. He doesn't have the heart to disturb her sleep so he waits again. Thankfully, not too long after, the girl groans and stretches her arms upward. Chaeyoung moves closer and helps her to sit while she's still half-asleep.

Mina rubs her eyes and slowly open it, just to be greeted by the cub, smiling at her. "Dinner?" He asks. Mina smiles back and nods. It looks like what has just happened in the morning never actually does. And he's grateful and sad at the same time. She might just sleep off his indirect confession and doesn't really think much about it. But maybe that's for the better, no more awkwardness between them.

Mina has her mouth hang open when she arrives at the porch. It's beautifully decorated. She thanks him in appreciation of his effort before they sit down on the swing bed. She apologizes for falling asleep and not being a helping hand in the kitchen. Chaeyoung brushes it off saying it isn't a big deal since Mina is not that good in cooking, so having her or not doesn't really make a big change. That straight forward statement of his earns a smack on his arms while the guy just laughs.

Chaeyoung breath out as the laughter and jokes died. They become comfortable with each other again and the small tension from the morning slowly fades away. As they devour their food, Mina stares in front, the ocean glistening mirroring the dazzling assemblage of glittering and she could hear the sounds of waves hitting the shore. Time to time she still asking questions whenever something pops inside her mind. Voluntarily gives kisses as they reach the 90th.

Mina put her plate down as she finishes eating the same goes to him. She faces the guy and utters her last question,

"Hmmm, if you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say...in only three words?"

Chaeyoung slips his hand inside his pocket, the one that away from her sight. He rubs the small box with his thumb. He let his soul run free as his worries and thought silently burn into smoke. Giving his heart full access to control him. He faces her and smiles softly.

"Confess. Right. Now"

Mina's face crumple as her smile goes falters. "Why would you say that?" She wonders. He sighs and turns his head away from her and to the front. Watching the black endless sky tranquillity married to the poetry of stars. A restfulness above to calm himself, feeling his pulse pounding in his temples.

"That's the 100th question. End of the game" He breathes out.

Mina looks away, hiding her disappointment. Maybe they can do it all over again---the question game but she knows he'll not accept it. In the end, she failed. There's still a secret, something she doesn't know about him, like now, he's someone unknown to her.

Mina exhale and presses her lips. Next time. She chanted inside her mind. The girl looks at him who still has his eyes locked in front. She leans sideways to give him a kiss for the 100th question but to her surprise, Chaeyoung suddenly turns his head and she halts from the closeness.

Their nose is touching and she freezes in her place, feeling his shallow and rapid breath against her lips. Worried, she's going to pull away and ask him if he is sick but the guy slides his hand and gently touch her cheeks. With the last bit of his courage, he closes his eyes and lifts his chin, giving a long kiss on her forehead. Only that time, Mina knows that he's crying as bead of tears falls down to her face.

"Aren't you being cruel?" His voice wavers as he rests his forehead against hers. Mina doesn't reply but stays still like a statue, her face only shows confusion. It's not because, she doesn't want to say something but she doesn't know what to say at the moment.

With butterflies in his stomach and his head buzzing with possibilities, finally, Chaeyoung gives up. Letting all the weight down, breathing normally, and feeling alive again after years of years drowning in the sea of attachment and expectation.

"There's.....this one truth about me" He pulls away and caresses her cheeks with his thumb. Chaeyoung search for her eyes but the girl is looking down, hand tightly gripping the pillow beside them.

"Mina," She lifts her head when he calls her names with wracked voice and they manage to stare at each other. The image of his tears dripping into his mouth as he cries silently, hurt her.

Chaeyoung gulp and blink to wash his eyes from the salty water so he can see her clearly. He breathes out and a faint smile formed across his face.

"I'm in love with you"

\- to be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you feel about this chapter


	43. A Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously,
> 
> "Mina" She lifts her head when he calls her names with wracked voice and they manage to stare at each other. The image of his tears dripping into his mouth as he cries silently, hurt her.
> 
> Chaeyoung gulp and blink to wash his eyes from the salty water so he can see her clearly. He breathes out and a faint smile formed across his face.
> 
> "I'm in love with you"

• Chapter 43 •

There is such a weighted silence. Mina sits stiff, a puzzled expression on her face. It seems like her mind is still a surging perplexity but their shared gaze remained unbroken. The moment those words slipped Chaeyoung's mouth, everything is ruined. Those more than ten years of friendship, those wall between them, and those unremarked line that separates them, is gone. And both aware of the consequences and the risk it took.

When it becomes clear to the girl, she looks down and squeezes her eyes. That's it. The secret of him that she'd been trying to find and today it's revealed and she finally knows why is it a secret. Too much, too overwhelming. The thought that lingers inside her mind, the mixed emotions she's having. What is it? Anger? Sadness? Fear? Lost? Anxious? Or hurt? Even she has no idea what kind of feelings that overpowering the other. But one thing for sure, it's negative, piercing and profound.

"I-I'm sorry"

One second passed. Two seconds passed. Three seconds passed. Guilt is eating and pestering her. Mina feels the warmth on her cheeks that radiates from the touch of his hand, slowly fades as he draws away. It sparks guiltiness inside her but that's the only things she could utter. It's the outcome of confusion and shock.

Chaeyoung slowly shifts his position to the front while chewing on his lips, preventing it to tremble. A broken faucet as his tears tracing his cheeks than to his chin, falling nonstop. He expected the answer but never thought to listen to it, in reality, will be that painful. Pathetic, you are denied for something which you only deserved. A voice whispers inside his mind and he approves the saying. A thick, suffocating silence surrounds them as he still trying to compose himself. Finding the normal rhythm for his heart to beat, controlling his breathing and recover back to his senses. But how could he? when it feels like a thousand pieces of glass just planted deep inside his heart or maybe all over his body. It's a familiar feeling but each time it strikes, the pain somehow increases and the frustration builds.

Mina's eyes fix on him, staring his side view. She wanted to reach for him and comfort him but does she have the right? And maybe he just needs some time or both of them need time, away from each other for a while. With that thinking, she gets down the swing bed and wordlessly walks away.

"Why---" Mina catch the bitterness in his voice and abruptly stop on her step. She stands there, like no more than a mannequin. She hardly gulps while waiting for him to continue. Unbeknown to him, how little water droplets stream down her rosy cheeks.

Chaeyoung rubs his face and follows the girl, standing beside her. "Why am I never good enough? Is- is there's something wrong with me?" He marvelled, letting his emotion take over him. "What do I have to change? Or...who..who I have to become?"

It's always been an act of putting a lid on a boiling pot, eventually, the contents will rise to the top and spill over. If we push our feelings down and down and try to avoid them, eventually, they will explode out. Just like him. Surrendering to the eternal feelings to take control of his actions and words.

Turning away from the living room, Mina watches his expression. He looks weak and his eyes are dull. "Chaeyoungie...why? Why now? Why not any sooner?"

"Ten years!" His voice raises as he runs his fingers through his hair, causing the girl to flinch. "More than ten years I've been right here, just waiting for you to open your eyes to see that...I'm right here. And I'm more than just a friend"

It hurts Mina to hear those statement from him, she feels offended and unfair "How would I know Chaeyoung! It was you who lied to our friendship and to yourself. How about waiting for me is an excuse for your little bravery." She burst out. "If there's a thing that destroys our future, it is that you're a coward."

There is something in that shout, a pain behind it feels like a sharp-toothed creature eating him from the inside. After all, she stated the truth. Chaeyoung shifts his eyes, breaking the intense eye contact they shared. "I had to. Yeah, I was scared I might lose you if I told you. I want to stay next to you as a friend at least. So, I kept smiling, joking around, acting mischievously like how you liked about me. I smiled and smiled. I thought you'll come to me one day. I thought you'll come to me if I became a better guy. But, you never. You never see me. You're such a fool"

Mina gritted her teeth, speechless by his confession. Chaeyoung breathes in really slow and realizes this conversation is pointless. Where it brings nothing but a form of torture. Then he learns. His anger is nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier, randomly throwing out grenades, scared for his life, lonely, desperate.

With a last glance at her, Chaeyoung kicks his way towards the beach, ending their venomous talk and leaves the girl who has her head turns to the side---not wanting to face him.

As soon as he walks away, Mina does the same in the opposite direction. Swing her feet straight to her room. When she reaches the bed, she let herself slumped against it then wipe the remaining tears on her face. After catching her breath and her conscious is back, the blame is on her. Retracting all the bad things she just said, it was involuntarily, and unmeaning.

"You're a coward"

"I shouldn't say that" She mumbles as she buries her face in her hands. It comes in waves, the thought of what she should have done or said differently, what she shouldn't have done at all. She can't undo it, but can make it right, she doesn't know. Believing that there will be times where they'll confront each other and when that time comes, all she can do is try to see from his perspective, listen to understand not to reply.

"Mina, I'm in love with you"

Her conflicting feelings are driving her insane and it makes her uncomfortable, exhausted and stuck. She decides to put the things aside for now since she's emotionally and physically drained out. Mina raises her head and looks out the window. It might be facing the ocean but she can't see anything except complete darkness. She starts to wonder, that he might be shivering out there, that he doesn't bring his jacket, that he might be crying alone. It's hard but she succeeds in convincing herself not to look for him and think it's enough for today. Both of them need a little while to think properly and for now, they give each other space and respect.  
.  
.  
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.  
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.

An hour past and midnight cames, a quiet rhythmic knock interrupts her train of thought as she still counting sheep to fall asleep. Mina slowly sits up and walk towards the door. She places her hand on the doorknob but doesn't turn, contemplating to do so as she knows that Chaeyoung is standing behind it.

She doesn't want to meet him yet, not this early, and thus she let her hands fall but still feet glued to the floor. After a moment of silence, a paper slide under the door then stops just in front of her slippers. A small smile crept on her face as she slowly bends down and opens the tiny folded paper.

"I'm sorry

Let's talk again later

Don't count on sheep, put on socks. It will help you to sleep.

Good night and I'm sorry."

Mina smiles sadly then heard him moves as his footsteps fade away. She thought that maybe he goes to his room. The girl follows his advice which is to wear a pair of sock and she can't deny that he sometimes knows her more than herself. She brings the comforter up to her shoulder as she lay to the side and now reading the same paragraph on the paper. Mina shut her eyes and recall the scene earlier.

"Why am I never good enough? Is- is there's something wrong with me?"

"What do I have to change? Or...who..who I have to become?"

"You're such a fool"

Her grip on the white paper tightens, causing it to cease as a figure and familiar face come across her mind. It's never left her, always at the back of her mind and always apart of her heart, "It's not your fault Chaengie, you're perfect and there's nothing wrong with you...it just that I am the problem"

"You're right. I am such a fool.."

"...For stupidly waiting for him"

* * * *

The announcer finally comes to the intercom and says, "Your plane has arrived at the terminal" A well-adjusted man in twenties takes his earphone out and puts them into his pocket, it has been a long journey for him. He listens to the final announcement by the pilots while tidy up the mess he created on the table, gathering the files and paper that means more than his life then arranges it neatly inside his black shoulder bag.

Soon the plane stops and everyone starts to leave after grabbing their carry-on bags. He has only one that never leaves his side. The young man is in the eight rows back so he waits as people file out. The line of people slowly makes their way out of the plane while the flight attendants smile to them. Just as he exits the plane, he takes a big jump of air then release it.

"Korea" He utters while fixing the strap of his bag then proceeds to walk along the pathway to the hall. As he walks through the arrival, immediately he spots a beautiful young woman, wearing a simple white blouse and blue jeans with a white coat hanging on her arms, waving at him. The girl is accompanied by a guy in a black suit, standing behind her. He takes off his black glasses, smiling as he fastens his step. The girl jumps and hugs him while he does the same.

"I miss you Jeongyeon-ah"

Jeongyeon pulls away and chuckles as the girl head locking him as a punishment for suddenly, without any notice went to America while she went to Korea for him. They never cross path and finally, they meet after five years.

"Nayeon noona! I'll report you for killing attempt" He whines while acting suffocated. "Mr Choi, help me" The guy with a black suit just stare at him blankly then look away. "Yah! How could you do this to me?" Jeongyeon grunted.

Nayeon smiles mischievously as she drags the younger towards the terminal. "You're dead" She mumbles.

\- to be continued -


	44. Beaded Flower

"I don't want to wake you up,  
I'm on the beach,  
Feels like you need to know."

Chaeyoung stare at the post-it note that sticks in front of Mina's door, standing there as he reads the simple message from her. The first sentence somehow makes him flash a small smile due to the fact that the girl cared enough not wanting to disturb his sleep though, he wasn't asleep at all. An hour ago, he heard his bedroom door creaking, signalling someone opening it and there could be no one else except Mina. Thankfully, he was lying facing the other side of the room, curled into a ball and had been staring blankly at the bedside lamp for hours---from the moment he settled down the bed until the morning- like an empty shell, nothingness, he became numb.

The moment he heard the small noise, he quickly closed his eyes, pretending to sleep but it was briefly ended as Mina closed the door back. He had guessed that she was only checking up on him, peaking inside. Chaeyoung fluttered his eyes open and snuggled closer to the already drenched pillow, burying his face down as he asked for comfort.

He takes off the sticky notes and sighs as he made his way towards the bathroom. Looking at his own reflection in the mirror, water dripping off his face, it made him chuckled. What a mess. He thought while touching his swollen eyes then winch as he realizes it feels sore and dry. But that small pain makes him thankful, at least... it's better than feeling nothing at all.

He cleans himself and takes a quick shower, not wanting to let the girl alone on the beach with the salty air blowing around. And with his knowledge---knowing the girl for years---she definitely doesn't bring any jacket and just mindlessly strolling around without any concern that she might become ill from exposure to the chilly wind.

Chaeyoung wears a simple white turtleneck sweater and a brown chinos pants, a blanket folded around his left arm while he brewing a cup of tea for her to drink later. The guy hurriedly jogs heading to the beach. He stops when he spots her walking along the shore---scattering gulls, giggling as she sometimes runs back and forth in the shallow.

He doesn't move and stand there, starting to question whether he's doing the right thing. He sighs staring at the light blue blanket hanging on his arm then slowly turns around---planning to walk back to the villa but his heart chooses the opposite.

I hate myself that I can't quit you. He only moves three steps then takes a glance before fully facing the ocean, again. Chaeyoung swings his feet towards the girl and keeps a distance between them, watching her from afar. It's just then he notices she doesn't wear her sandals but leaves it there, walking barefoot on the sand crystal. Probably feeling the sand squish slowly through her foot.

The sea is an eerie pale turquoise with a darker blue at the horizon, where the single sail of a yacht caught the light. A flock of seagulls is circling in a current of air over the beach, illuminated in the morning rays of the sun. His hair blowing in the wind as he waits and waits until she finally notices his presence. He beams a small smile which she responds back before she tucks her hair behind her ear.

"Done playing with the seagulls?" He asks as he walks closer, a playful tone in his voice. Mina chuckle and nod, eyes meet his when he arrives and stands in front of her. Chaeyoung opens the blanket and leans against her. For a moment, she thought she'll get a hug but the guy only brings the blanket behind her back and wraps it around her shoulder, providing her warmth.

"Thank you" She mumbles, a bit disappointed. He is still fixing the blanket, making sure it perfectly covered her body.

Chaeyoung plants his gaze back to her, smiling before he searches for her sandals and takes it. He pulls out his hand, gesturing Mina to hold him but the girl only stares at his palm, hesitating. Chaeyoung smile softly then reaches for her hand, holding it as he leads the way to the big flat rock. He gestures her to sit down on the rock while he kneels in front of her. The guy put her sandals down and lift her feet, she gasps and tries to extract but Chaeyoung's grip tightens making a firm statement not to move. Although they don't speak, action tells it all. Mina who feels awkward, obeys to the unspoken command and stay still.

Chaeyoung loosens his grip and dust off the remaining sand beneath her feet and between her toes, doing the same with the other. He puts on her sandals, and they fit her perfectly. A minute passes with him, just looking down while Mina has her eyes on him. When she can't bear the silence anymore, she cups one of his cold cheeks in her hand and slowly raises his head so their eyes meet.

Chaeyoung places his hand over hers. While his voice is steady at first but the more he speaks the shaker it becomes "From the moment I first saw you, I felt the connection between us---something about you captured my attention, and by that, I didn't mean your weeping sound" He looks away and chuckle bitterly remembering their first meeting

"...Then by fate and luck, we became friends, a good friend...... But as time passes, I took it for granted, all our smiles, laughs and memories. I wanted more... I turned to be greedy. I tried to admire you from a distance, just as I saw the stars in the sky, and knew I could never touch them. But we were too young and I was with you too often, to preserve that distance. You were my friend, my noona...and later I came to love you as deeply as any man could ever love a woman.....That never changed for me, although I've lied to myself for years" He pauses and takes a long breath "No matter how I want to deny it, you complete me and I will always, always love you"

Mina breaks the eye contact. That words are still a stranger for her where she still couldn't comprehend anything from it. He lowers his gaze and let his hands fall before positioning himself beside her, sitting side to side. Mina turns her body, facing him---thinking that she needs to say something or anything---while Chaeyoung has his eyes locked to the pounding surf. He leans forward, elbows tucked together at the top of his knees while his hands giving up to the gravity. Composed himself before he continues.

"But I can't do this anymore, I'm in so much pain that it is no more bearable. I can't lift it, I can't breathe...." He sucks the air and immediately exhales it, leaving a loud sigh just to empty the heaviness in his chest but it soon returns "I just want to feel fine again" He breathes out.

"I'm sorry for wounding your feelings, and for not noticing you...all this time" Muttered Mina softly but enough for him to hear her. She knows she'd said and done awful things towards him and now she is burdened by guilt.

His eyes soften, heart thumping as he takes a glance at her. He hates that she has that much of an effect to him and even more that he is the only one who feels it."You don't have to feel sorry. I just realized it's all in me, I am the one who catches this feeling and let it grow." He admitted.

"It's not your fault, you don't owe me anything.........you don't have to love me in return" No matter how much he wants her, he learns to accept that things do not always go as you hoped for or as you wish. Although he failed, at least he tried hard and the guy gives himself a pat for it. His first instinct when Mina rejected him, is to fly back to Korea, leaving her because he just can't see her anymore. He doesn't want to hear her voice and even look at her. But the thought vanished as soon as he reminded by the growing baby inside her womb. Their baby. A result of his mistakes and how it ruined the girl's life.

"It supposed to be me who has to say sorry for ruining everything and even your future. I don't want you to be caged and miss all the things that can make you happy and I want to stop longing for something that is so near but I couldn't reach..."

"...I'll let you go but you have to let me go too, so we can find our own happiness"

He is irresponsible, he knows it. To leave a pregnant woman and escape the reality for the sake of healing himself. But he swears that after Mina gives birth, he will come back and raise the baby his own. He always likes children and being a single father doesn't bother him.

At least that's what has been mapped inside his mind, his plan after their conversation over, but Mina has a different thought.

The girl catches hold of his shoulder and pulls him to completely face her. She smiles at him that somehow speaks reassurance as her hands travel down and soon intertwined with his. "Chaeyoung, you made me happy and you meant a lot to me, something I can't really put into words. I cared for you, more than anything even when you messed up, I still care and...I need you in my life" She finds his orbs but the look of his face is unreadable.

"You don't need me, you need someone. There's a difference." Chaeyoung snaps, but the tone of his voice made it obvious that he does not mean it in a way to hurt the girl's feelings.

"Chaeyoun---"

"Tell me, what do you want me to do?" He interjected.

"I want you....to stay"

* * * *

"Thank you," Irene says to the cashier while making her way out of the store. She looks at the item that she has bought---pink beads and more pink beads. The girl smiles contentedly then walk herself to the bus stop. She just finishes her works for today that include of newspaper delivery early in the morning then cleans Mina and Chaeyoung's house because it is under her care for the moment, she also done her shift in the convenience store, car wash service and work as a hotel room cleaner. Thanks to her friend, Yeri who is the hotel manager giving her access to work whenever she has time and she will be paid by how many rooms she cleans.

And now the time pointing at 9.00 p.m sharp, she intends to visit her mother. Although it's already past visiting time, since she's well known in the hospital for her generosity plus her mother is one of those patients that had stayed for years in the wards, the security and nurse let her in after giving her a deadpan look. Of course, she treats them with coffee while smiling sheepishly before tiptoeing to her mother's room, not wanting to disturb other patients.

She settles down beside her mother and smiles sadly as she brushes the strand of hair that covers her mother's face. The girl opens the packet of pink beads and places it inside a small container. Accompanied by the bedside lamp, she continues completing her art---a beaded sakura tree sculpture.

Though the wireworking with seed beads cause her fingers some pain, she's happy that she decides to make the sculpture as it slowly shows its shapes.

"You've been working it for days. Is it for someone special?" Irene lifts her head and looks to the side just to realize that her mother already staring at her. She chuckles and slowly nods her heads.

"Is it a clue that I'm going to meet my son-in-law?" The old lady mockery of and let out a small laugh when Irene blush by the question. The daughter shakes her head vigorously while her hands hanging in the air, waving it. Clearly, disagree.

"I'm just kidding..eyy why so serious. Suspicious" The teases continue as Irene pout and whines, asking her mother to stop the teasing.

"Why make a sakura tree sculpture out of anything. You even hurt your finger?" The mother asks as she holds Irene's fingers that full with plaster. Irene smile recalling how the receiver of her gift is a person who loves flower. Always bought it every day then bury the old withered one.

"He likes flower, but it died easily. While a beaded flower stays lively and blooms every day"

\- to be continued-


End file.
